Chapter Nineteen

Ever awaited Stroud’s arrival in a sort of daze, too indecisive to do anything in the way of preparation. It was just as well he’d set the pick up time an hour earlier than usual because all Ever felt even half ready to do was flee the apartment and hide out somewhere he could not find her.

Stroud took the initiative, packing the few things Ever would need for the week-end into a bag somewhat larger than usual. He took her arm and guided her to the car, but he did not drive her to his place. He took off in an entirely different direction – out of the city.

Stroud was in a low grade panic, but he didn’t press Ever to speak. He merely played soothing CD’s, while Ever gazed out the window at the changing landscape. He was afraid he knew what was happening but he had to be sure. So he was taking the only action he could think of, hoping against hope it would be sufficient to keep Ever from leaving him. Dear God, he could not bear it if she left him.

About an hour into the drive she said, “Where are we going?”

“To the mountains.”

Ever responded with only a single nod.

It was nearly ten when they reached the lodge. Since they’d eaten on the road, Stroud got them checked in immediately and carried their bags directly to the room. He ordered tea for Ever while she bathed and, when she’d done, he bundled her into bed in a flannel nightgown and switched off the light.

***

The next day, they took a late brunch at the lodge restaurant. It was clear, so Stroud suggested a walk along one of the scenic paths. There was still a tang to the late-March air but the sun was warm and pleasant.

Ever seemed refreshed from her sleep and, although there were still dark circles under her eyes, she seemed more like her usual self. Stroud set an easy pace up the curving path and, when the other hikers had pulled away ahead, Ever spoke.

“These are not really the plans you had for this week-end, are they?”

“I’ve brought you here as a means of creating a neutral ground between us,” Stroud explained. “Break the spell of the past few weeks. Bring things into perspective.”

Ever nodded.

“Things have been rather intense lately,” he said and Ever didn’t disagree.

“I don’t mean this as an apology, you understand. I’ve come to see that you enjoy play at an intensive level. You’re a courageous woman with a lot to offer a man like me. Just when things have reached their peak, you find the stamina to strive for yet a higher plateau. I wonder if you know how much I appreciate it.”

“You’ve taught me a lot,” Ever said.

“Have I? Well...”

The pathway leveled out as they reached the top of their climb, a breathtaking panorama of craggy hills and valleys opened out below. Another couple came up behind and passed them, holding hands as they disappeared around the next bend.

“I know we’ve been acquainted only a few short months,” Stroud said. “The perimeters of our relationship are... unusual, but I hope we’ve come to share more than just a sexual relationship.”

“Oh, much more,” she said with a quiet smile.

“Perhaps a friendship?”

“Perhaps.”

Stroud returned the smile and placed his arm around her with an affectionate squeeze. “If this is the case, it seems you’d be secure enough to share your confidence with me...”

Ever’s smile melted and she withdrew to the railing to gaze out at the vista. “Are we talking about something in particular?”

Stroud joined her, his gaze pointedly directed at the horizon. “Brooke has mentioned some things to me.”

“Oh?” Ever said, suddenly chilled.

“He tells me he’s seen you on the street, canvassing passersby.”

“Oh. Is that all?”

“He told me you said it was part of your job.”

Ever was unresponsive.

“I thought you were telemarketing.”

“I was.”

Now Stroud looked at her. “And?”

It was one thing to burden Stroud with all this without warning but now he was asking her directly. Ever dropped her head with a sigh. “This outfit is in a slump,” she said. “They’re desperate. Hence the telemarketing program. I guess it wasn’t working well enough.”

She lifted her head but did not look at Stroud.

“They offered me a cut in pay and said I’d have to hit the streets to see if we couldn’t drum up more business.”

“Is that what you wanted to do?”

“Of course not. It’s murder. But the job market is very limited and I couldn’t afford to be without even a small pay check while I hunted something down.”

Her voice was beginning to falter. “But I’m tired. You know? Bone weary. These past couple of years...”

“I wish you’d told me.”

“It seems like I’ve been on a slide ever since I became ill. Now it’s critical. Past critical.”

“What do you mean?”

“They let me go last week. All of us. The telemarketers. I’m now without a job at all and I’m not going to meet my rent...”

Stroud seemed shocked. “You live that close to the line?”

“That close.” Tears stood in her eyes as she finally turned to him. “How’s that for sharing a confidence?” A satiric smile twisted her mouth. “To top it all off, Brooke kidnaps me at the top of the week, fucks the living hell out of me and I... I regard it as some deserved punishment, passed down by the gods of ill fortune!”

Stroud was surprised by the news about Brooke and alarmed by her reaction. “Did you tell him this?”

“No. God no. Poor Brooke. He didn’t mean anything by it. He didn’t know. I didn’t know until afterwards. It was almost like an omen.

“That’s why I refused you last week-end. I was so depressed. So scared. I’m sorry...” She began to sob. “God! I’ve been bawling for days. I wish I could stop!”

Embracing her, Stroud walked Ever across the path and sat with her on a nearby rock as she vented all she had cloistered over the past weeks. When he handed her his handkerchief, Ever was incredulous.

“What are you? The last man on earth who still carries one of these?”

“I don’t think so,” Stroud said, genuinely baffled by her observation.

Ever laughed hoarsely and blew into the handkerchief. “Stroud, you’re one in a million,” she said, her voice muffled in the cloth.

Stroud smiled in relief. “And so are you,” he said, squeezing her again. “Come. We’ll talk.”

They went back to their room and, when Ever was composed, they dressed for an early dinner and went out to a quiet restaurant.

“I have a better insight into your situation now,” Stroud said, once their orders had been taken, “but when you called, I was afraid you wanted to break off the relationship.”

“The thought did cross my mind.”

“Why?”

“As you said, it’s been an intensive few weeks.”

“You’ve been over taxed.”

“It has been a strain. More of a strain than I realized.”

“I was afraid of that. Do you want to quit?”

Ever smiled. “After all you’ve shown me, I don’t think I could ever quit. I just can’t keep up the regimen we’ve been on. Every week-end, the commuting. As you say, I think I’m losing perspective.”

“Well, I’d much rather be a part of the solution than part of the problem.”

“Please don’t misunderstand.”

“I don’t think I have.”

“Well, as to my other problems, I don’t think there’s much you can do.”

“Perhaps there is,” Stroud said.

“Oh?”

“I want you to move in with me.”

Ever was nonplused. “Oh, Stroud. No.”

“You wouldn’t consider living with me?”

“I don’t mean that,” she amended. “I just think it’s too soon... Don’t you? You mustn’t allow my little crisis to push you into anything premature. It’s not your responsibility to save me.”

“A friend can’t stand by and watch a friend go down the drain.”

“I’ll be okay.”

“Perhaps, but the situation doesn’t look very good presently. There’s no need for unnecessary hardship.”

Ever could not deny the gravity of her situation but she had serious reservations about allowing Stroud to sweep her up on the proverbial white charger. She was still within the perilous rebound zone and she was jealous of her newfound independence, precarious though it might be. She was searching for a way to couch her argument graciously but Stroud spoke first.

“I have a proposal. Just hear me out and you can tell me what you think.”