The Art of Cooking in
Your Crappy Little Kitchen
I know what you’re thinking . . . Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens, isn’t that an oxymoron? You actually couldn’t be further from the truth! Chef Francois Vatel, not only invented Chantilly cream (vanilla sweetened whipped cream) without the aid of a motorized mixer, but he also created ice sculptures for his table displays in 1671 with ice he foraged from the great outdoors. While preparing dinner for King Louis XIV, Vatel learned that the fish for the meal would not arrive on time. So distraught with embarrassment, he ran himself through with his own sword. While I’m sure your Crappy Little Kitchen has introduced many cooking conundrums and you can identify with Vatel’s pain, I can assure you there is no need for desperate measures when it comes to making the most of your Crappy Little Kitchen. With my help, your Crappy Little Kitchen will become the centerpiece for delicious gourmet meals and a place you will love to call home.
Cooking in a CLK builds character and personality—— two attributes of downright delicious gourmet meals. And I will teach you everything you need to know so you will love your CLK and the food that comes out of it.
Crappy Little Kitchens rock, and if you give your Crappy Little Kitchen (CLK for short) half a chance, you’ll be in complete agreement. When I made lobster for my friends in what was essentially a tiny bedroom on the second floor of a Brooklyn brownstone, with a teeny sink, tiny stove, and hotel-room-size refrigerator (I tower over it at 5'7") all just shoved up against the wall, I found the experience much more inspiring!
The first restaurant where I became the sous chef wasn’t much bigger than a closet. The dishwashing machine was crammed so close to the stove that I stood with my back touching the dishwasher as he worked by my side. While training a new line cook, I asked her to please juice a small bag of lemons for a fresh vinaigrette. When she asked me where my juicer was, I responded by lifting my right hand with a look on my face that said, “You’re looking at it!”
Whatever your kitchen situation—whether you have a minuscule space, ancient appliances, or a dismal appearance (or all three!)—you can still work wonders and create gourmet meals. The reason I am so confident about this fact is that growing up I witnessed my father perform what others might think is a mealtime miracle—he baked a delicious pineapple upside-down cake using a campfire. So, if Dad can do cozy comfort food in the great outdoors, there is no stopping what creations await in Crappy Little Kitchens!
Using a Dutch oven that’s been in my father’s family for generations, he layers brown sugar, sliced pineapple, and a little pineapple juice to make the caramel. He pours a very simple vanilla sponge cake recipe over the top and covers it with the cast iron lid. Using red hot coals he pulls from the fire we’ve been visiting around all evening, my father places his Dutch oven over them. He scoops more coals onto the top, and the family conjures an image of the brown sugar and juice beginning to bubble and pop into caramel around the softening pineapple, whose steam has begun to make the cake batter rise ever so evenly. In short order, my father pulls the cake from the fire to unveil it, and we are quiet for the first time since—well since the last time my dad made the cake! Look for Dad’s Miraculous Campfire Cake recipe CLK style in the Desserts to Die For section of this book.
What Is Gourmet?
I created this book to bring gourmet cooking into your home and your CLK. Gourmet meals don’t need to be intimidating or overly complicated, although the word gourmet tends to strike fear in some and inspire awe in others. It can be a proper noun describing a person with discriminating tastes and a well-defined palate for fine food and drink. It can also be an adjective to describe a type of restaurant, menu, or cook. The definition I prefer, which applies to Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens, is food perfectly prepared from the finest ingredients and artfully presented with love and care.
What I like to emphasize (especially when people tell me how they dread cooking for me because they shudder to think what I will think) is that the meaning of gourmet is subjective. How do you take an everyday dish like macaroni and cheese and heighten it to the level of gourmet? Truffles, an interesting blend of fine cheeses, and homemade pasta is one way. Or you can follow a basic macaroni and cheese recipe, and prepare it perfectly. Nicely seasoned, al dente, store-bought noodles and a well-executed cheddar cheese sauce can make a gourmet meal. Both dishes constitute a gourmet creation because they both comprise a blend of flavors and textures, artful presentations, and the freshest foods possible. You don’t need every ingredient, just like you don’t need every kitchen tool made to man to create a gourmet meal. What is essential are the best ingredients available to you, prepared with an expertise that comes with practice and respect for food preparation. A little experimentation thrown in doesn’t hurt, either! Whether you make the most complicated salmon soufflé or a delicious smoothie, all you need is practice, practice, practice! It’s way more fun to practice in a Crappy Little Kitchen where you only need the basic tools of the trade and no complicated contraptions to distract you!
My Crappy Little Kitchen experiences molded me into a better chef and a better person than I was before, and your CLK experiences can do the same for you.
A Journey Through
My Crappy Little Kitchens
Besides witnessing resourceful cooking firsthand from my dad, I learned the art of cooking in a Crappy Little Kitchen from, well, cooking in Crappy Little Kitchens. My first Crappy Little Kitchen was in a one-room efficiency apartment where I could flip an egg on the stove while sitting in my living room. In my next apartment, my CLK was so small I had to use my cutting board on my washing machine. Although my washing machine was inoperable (go figure!), it served a useful purpose by acting as additional counter space.
My next apartment move landed me in my very favorite CLK in Sunset Park, Brooklyn, where I’m convinced “Jennifer the Chef” was born. I’ve had several Crappy Little Kitchens since and live with one right now. I’m still larger than my refrigerator and my kitchen floor slopes terribly causing my ancient stove to sway back and forth. I have terrible storage and no dishwasher, well, unless you count me.
Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens offers you practical hints and tips to make the most of your CLK space and shows you exactly how to re-create the delicious gourmet meals that I’ve served as a chef in several five-star restaurants over the last eight years. I created and perfected all of the gourmet meals that make up this book in my own CLK, and I’ll share my chef secrets with you. But what you will gain the most from me is my CLK expertise. You’ll learn kitchen shortcuts, surprising factoids, space saving ideas, and frugal hints, and I’ll introduce you to new and delicious foods. I’ll expand your cooking repertoire with suggestions for unusual gourmet ingredients, but I’ll always offer you simple alternatives without sacrificing taste. You’ll discover a myriad of options for various methods of preparation and presentation. I’ll also offer easy ideas for pairing recipes and ingredients for even greater variety by combining recipes included in this book. For example, serve the Fried Green Tomatoes with the Chipotle Aioli, and the SnakeCharmin’ Moroccan Lamb Chops with the Kick Your Caboose Saffron Couscous. You can use your Crappy Little Kitchen to create kitchen magic. Don’t fall prey to the misconception your crappy kitchen space limits your possibilities or confines your pallet. The opposite is true. My restaurant-proven experience shows fine food and cramped kitchen quarters are not mutually exclusive. So, let’s take the stuffy out of gourmet. It’s time to enjoy that beef tartar AND your mother’s meatloaf, just perhaps not in the same sitting!
TOP FIVE REASONS
WHY CLKS ROCK MORE THAN GLITZY
GOURMET KITCHENS
1. CLKs take less time to clean.
2. Everything you need is within arm’s reach and never gets lost.
3. Stainless steel leaves fingerprints.
4. Making physical contact with your partner, roommate, or friend is easy (and unavoidable) in your CLK.
5. You only have what you need and only need what you have.
Top-of-the line contemporary kitchens with all the luxurious amenities and newfangled shiny appliances do not make a good cook. The only real necessity for turning out gourmet meals is you! With my help, you will transform yourself into a fabulous cook and learn how your CLK provides the perfect landscape to elevate your cooking from pedestrian to perfection. Now there are first-class kitchens that are small in stature, and there are enormous kitchens with a stove, sink, and fridge shoved up against the wall. The important thing to remember is that your little kitchen, as crappy as it may be, is far superior to everyone else’s. Wanna know why?
• Your kitchen is the “every kitchen.” It’s approachable, it’s homey, it’s where everyone gathers when you throw a party.
•Most people with super nice kitchens don’t cook in them, because they don’t want to mess up their gorgeous “show” kitchens. I will teach you how to be “hands on” in your CLK, and you’ll barely make a mess when you cook.
•Making a beautiful meal in a grand kitchen looks easy and is always expected, but your guests will experience awe and wonder when you present them with eye-watering and delicious Braised Lamb Shank Shepherd’s Pie straight from your crappy little stove.
• You may have the Crappiest Little Kitchen in your group of friends, but with my simple advice you’ll be the best cook of the bunch.
• Fashions change, economies crash, people come and go, but you’re Crappy Little Kitchen has survived the test of time. With its original subway tile, wobbly stove, and non-defrosting refrigerator that didn’t start out “eggshell,” your CLK will provide pleasure and gourmet meals for generations to come.
Where most people go awry in their CLK is in buying space-wasting gadgets. I’m here to tell you: never bother with a tool that only has one function! The kitchen gear I recommend not only does an excellent job at the function for which it is intended, it also can perform additional tasks making each item an invaluable tool for the gourmet cook confined to a small space. Invest in these CLK-friendly must-haves that will give you the most bang for your buck:
Pots and pans
You only need a few utilitarian pots and pans to do the job in your CLK. Make sure these are durable, heavy bottom pots preferably with matching lids (but foil makes a perfect crappy little lid). I prefer stainless steal (strong, resists rust, inexpensive, around $40, and usually dishwasher safe) with a copper or aluminum coil buried in the base for even heating. You don’t need to buy the most expensive, but make sure they are able to go in the oven without warping the handles (it will say “oven safe” somewhere on the packaging, but if the entire thing is stainless steal you’ll know it’s oven safe).
12-quart stockpot with strainer and steamer basket
You can boil a box of spaghetti or steam large lobsters in this monster pot. You only need one large stockpot for all size jobs. Because it comes with its own steamer and strainer basket, which nestle inside for easy storage, you can also use this same pot for steaming vegetables as well as to strain the pasta or lobsters without the need for a separate colander. Use this pot to make any of the soup or sauce recipes found in this cookbook. You can prepare small or large quantities in this same pot.
12-inch stainless steel sauté pan
This generous sauté pan will work for jobs both large and small. You can fry two pieces of bacon, or make a monster party-size portion of paella in this magical pan. I use this pan more than any other pan in my kitchen, because I sauté, caramelize, or sweat onions and garlic, which is how I begin most of the meals in my kitchen.
8-inch nonstick sauté pan
Most chefs swear by stainless steel and refuse to use anything else. It’s true that proteins like chicken or beef won’t brown as well in a nonstick pan (mainly because you really shouldn’t get nonstick pans that hot). If you don’t scratch its surface or overheat it, nonstick is a spectacular invention. Eggs over easy are heaven on buttered toast, and fish get a crispy crust before sliding out of the pan with the greatest of ease.
1-quart stainless steel saucepot
This pot is the perfect size when making delicate sauces or reheating small amounts of soup. A larger surface area will retain heat better, and therefore cook much faster. When working butter into a sauce or reheating a velvety cream soup, this is the opposite of what you want. You need slow and low heat to prevent overheating or breaking your sauce or soup. It doesn’t require much space and takes the place of a meat mallet when pounding out cutlets!
Dutch oven
A Dutch oven is a large pot or kettle with a tight fitting lid. You can choose from cast iron, ceramic, or even stainless steel, but what you need is something slightly smaller than a roasting pan. It should have a heavy bottom to go on the stovetop for baked beans, but also go in the oven for braised rabbit or pot roast. Now if you have a small roasting pan or braising pan, don’t throw it away and buy a Dutch oven. This is a great example of using what you have. Make the Lamb Shank Sheppard’s Pie in your braising pan and use a piece of foil as your lid.
Pot rack
This is very easy to make with a wire rack from an old barbeque grill, four strong ceiling hooks, four chains of equal length, and some “S” hooks. The look will add a bit of shabby chic to your Crappy Little Kitchen. The grill rack itself becomes the body of the pot rack. First, you must anchor the hooks into the ceiling. Just explain the project to the hardware store employee, and they’ll steer you in the right direction for the items that you need. Once you’ve properly installed the hooks into the ceiling, hang the chains from the hooks, then hang the four “S” hooks from the bottom of each chain, and attach the grill rack. Hang the rest of the “S” hooks from the grill rack, arranging them equal distances apart. Start looking for stuff to hang from those hooks!
If you’re not a do-it-yourselfer, you can also find reasonably priced pot racks in any store that boasts a kitchen section. With this nifty gadget, you can suspend pots and pans right above your head for easy reach, but most important, your lack of storage becomes a non-issue. Make the best use of your limited space by hanging all sorts of things from the ceiling, walls, or counters. Buy inexpensive under-the-counter wineglass holders and hanging wire baskets for your fruits and vegetables.
Utensils
You no longer need a meat mallet, since whacking the meat with your saucepan will serve that purpose, but having a few double-duty utensils can eliminate all sorts of unnecessary space-wasting gadgets. Keep all your thin handled utensils (spatula, spider, etc.) together in a decorative jar next to your stovetop for easy access, and you won’t have to use up your limited drawer space.
Heat-resistant spatula
Usually made of silicone, a heat resistant spatula won’t scratch your pans, melt, or catch fire. It takes the place of the wooden spoon and the metal spatula. A heat-resistant spatula flips eggs and burgers beautifully, and it will scrape every last drop from mixing bowls.
Whisk
One 12- to 16-inch, thin wire whisk is the only whisk you’ll ever need. Whipping cream, working butter into a sauce, creaming eggs and sugar, sifting dry ingredients, and even whipping up mashed potatoes are all utilities of the whisk, so I do recommend owning one.
Tongs
In a professional kitchen, this is the most used utensil. You can turn meat, stir, move pots with hot handles around the stovetop, pick out food from poaching liquid, and you can even juice a lime with it. It’s a great serving utensil for salad or asparagus, too! A nice lightweight aluminum pair of tongs is a great piece of equipment, and if there’s no room left on the pot rack, you can hang it from a nail on the wall.
Spider
No, not an arachnid, but a nifty Asian-style utensil that looks like a shallow wire basket with a long handle and is great for lifting vegetables and pasta out of boiling water in fairly large batches. It keeps you from having to pull out broccoli one by one from blanching liquid or pouring out all your boiling water into a colander and starting over. If you need to strain the fat from a few pieces of meat or gently lift poached eggs, this is the tool to use.
Pastry brush
These guys are incredibly cheap, and I haven’t found an acceptable substitute for brushing on butter, egg wash, and sauces. I can’t think of a better way to apply glaze to a duck breast. You can also use it to spread herbs and spices, pesto, or condiments like whole grain mustard over your culinary creations. It’s a great tool for spreading oil on your sheet tray, too.
Vegetable peeler
A vegetable peeler is great for peeling cucumbers, apples, and potatoes.
It’s also an excellent tool for shaving hard cheeses and slicing carrots into ribbons for a colorful salad display.
Knives
You only need three basic knives to perform every slicing and dicing task you can imagine as a gourmet chef. This discovery liberated me because knives can be one of the most costly items in your kitchen. Everything else the knife guy tries to sell you is either a glorified steak knife that belongs in the silverware drawer, or unnecessary equipment that will be perfectly happy taking up needed space in someone else’s kitchen.
I keep my knives on a magnetic strip on the wall where I can easily grab them. This storage method is not only more hygienic than the old school butcher’s block (knives may drip dry naturally rather than sit in a puddle inside the storage block) but also, a huge space saver. Imagine the great big chunk of counter space you’ll save by not having that ugly block of wood on the counter. This way, the knives don’t take up space, and you don’t have to worry about getting grazed by a sharp blade or point as you would if you stored them in a drawer with other utensils. Look for the magnetic strip in a kitchen goods store. It’s a snap to install and is a handy item you’ll use every day.
6- to 8-inch chef’s knife
This is the perfect utility knife, with a distinctive shape made famous by movie serial killers like Michael Meyers. Besides cutting, chopping, and slicing, you can use it to crush and peel garlic, carve meat, and even fillet a fish. When choosing a knife, hold it in your hand to see if it feels comfortable. If you have very small hands, a Santoku-style chef’s knife will be perfect, because it has a shorter blade and a slightly curved and smaller handle. Always go with a stainless steel knife because it won’t rust, and it holds a sharp edge very well, is relatively inexpensive and easy to sharpen if it does go dull. I use a very inexpensive handheld knife sharpener that has guards to prevent accidents, but if you don’t own a knife sharpener it’s not a necessity, since most places that sell knives can either sharpen them for you or refer you to someone who can. For cooking at home, I do not buy expensive knives. Shop for a comfortable, stainless steal knife priced around $40–$50, and you’ll be pleased with your purchase.
Bread knife
Because it has a serrated edge, a bread knife can cut up a whole rib eye or carve a turkey, not to mention slice bread. Plus you’ll need this tool for slicing cake layers whenever you can’t find the dental floss (more on that later).
Paring knife
A paring knife, with its compact blade, is perfect for cutting small vegetables like radishes or for deveining shrimp.
Cutting board
For years, wood cutting boards received a bad rap because they were believed to harbor bacteria. As the proud owner of an heirloom wooden cutting board, I reserved its use for cutting vegetables, while using a plastic one for meat. New research refutes the old notion that wood is bad, and now scientists claim that wood, especially bamboo, actually has antibacterial properties. Cleaning a wooden cutting board is a breeze, just wipe it down with a soapy rag and give it a quick rinse with cool water. Very Crappy Little Cleanup friendly! Buy one good-size bamboo cutting board, and base that on how much counter space you have to lay it out on when in use. Mine is one by two feet, but if you don’t have enough counter space for something that big, you can set it over two burners of your stove to chop and have very easy access to the pot next to you. If you have too many burners working, just place the board on a towel draped over your sink (the towel is to keep the board from slipping while you chop).
Bowls
I recommend buying one nestling set of three or four stainless steel mixing bowls. The very largest is for whipping cream, tossing vegetables in marinade, dressing a salad, or mixing a cake. The smallest is for stirring together the cornstarch and water for thickening your soup or whisking a couple of eggs for a small frittata. I like to have two in-between sizes, because I use them frequently and often need them both at the same time.
Glass bowls can go in the microwave and work well as double boilers but can also break and send glass shards all over your CLK. Ceramic bowls chip and break easily, are very heavy, and take up more room because of their thickness. Plastic can go in the microwave but can’t go on or in the stove, and looks cheap and can stain. However, stainless steel is best because it won’t break, can be used on the stove, and it takes up the least room when stacked together. A stainless steel bowl gets a good chill in the freezer, which makes it perfect for whipping cream, and if you don’t beat them up too badly, they look very nice as serving bowls. Check out the next section to see what you need for melting chocolate in the microwave.
Measuring cups
One four-cup measuring cup set will take care of all your wet ingredient measuring needs. Make sure to buy a non-breakable, heat resistant one. Because of its high tolerance to heat, this measuring cup can go in the microwave for melting butter or chocolate, and you don’t need to worry about glass chipping into any of your recipes. The packaging will let you know if it is resistant to heat and chipping. In addition, you’ll need a set of multisize, fitted, round measuring cups (the material of these isn’t that important), which are usually connected on a ring. You can level off dry ingredients and use these to portion out crab cakes or cookie dough. If they’re on a ring, you can hang them from your pot rack or a nail in the wall.
Measuring spoons
They all hang out together on a ring and work out well for precise measurements of baking powder, spices, etc. Make sure to purchase metal ones because you can use them in place of a melon baller, and to hollow out tomatoes for stuffing. The plastic ones will probably snap under the pressure of either of these jobs.
Box cheese grater
It will tackle any grating or microplaning need you have and can hang from your pot rack. Each of the four sides has different size holes for making hash browns, grating ginger, or shaving truffles. It’s also a useful tool for shredding cabbage or onions.
Fine strainer
Sometimes you need to strain a sauce to remove stems, seeds, or shells that might escape through the holes of a stockpot strainer. A fine strainer only costs a couple bucks and doesn’t take up much room; in fact mine hangs from my pot rack. It also works well for sifting flour and dusting desserts with cocoa or powdered sugar.
Thermometer
You’ll need one digital-read multipurpose food thermometer. It fool proofs the difference between medium rare and medium, prevents sugar from getting cooked past the soft ball stage, and perfectly regulates your frying oil in the saucepan, so you don’t have to buy a fryer! The same one can work for meat or candy!
Sheet tray
Most home cooks are more familiar with the term cookie sheet, but it truly can do so much more than that. You can use it to toast nuts, or as a lid on a pot of water. You need one for roasting vegetables, and don’t forget the cookies!
Cake pans
No one loves cakes more than I do, but I find I don’t make them that often. For the recipes in this book, you’ll only need a 6-inch and 8-inch springform pan. For all other cakes baked in my CLK, I purchase disposable pans. Grocery stores carry a variety of shapes and sizes so you don’t need to store regular pans that you only use twice a year. If you find yourself making a lot of cakes, go ahead and buy the pan you need.
Blender
Luckily blenders come in various shapes and sizes, so you should be able to find one that will fit some nook or cranny in your house. A six-cup blender with three AMPS and two speeds is perfect for my home needs. Remember you don’t need to store it in your kitchen if there’s no room. Keep the box it came in, and when you’re not using it, leave it in the hall or bedroom closet. A food processor is certainly helpful, but not necessary if you don’t have the room.
Torch
You can buy the tiny one for too much money at your local kitchen gadget store, or you can go to the hardware store and buy a serious torch. A propane torch will caramelize a brulee in 30 seconds as opposed to that tiny butane one sold in a kitchen store that will take 5 minutes. It will come with a small propane canister that is very cheap to replace when it runs out, but chances are, it will last for years. I use mine for everything from caramelizing sugar on desserts to searing large pieces of meat.
CLK Saboteurs
Your kitchen is probably cluttered with a ridiculous number of unnecessary items that you’ve accumulated over time and stashed in every nook and cranny of your cramped space. How often have you used the ice cream maker from Auntie Ann or the trifle bowl from your wedding? Go through your kitchen cabinets and drawers and pull out every piece of useless equipment, unnecessary bowls, pans, and gadgets, and box them up. You only need the important tools I’ve recommended above, but if this causes a great concern for you, wait a year. If you haven’t gone into the box because you needed something in one year, the whole box goes to charity. Someone needs that crap more than you!
In particular, you should unload the space-wasting, extraneous items, aka CLK Saboteurs that follow:
Colander
Because our stockpot comes with a built in strainer and a steamer basket, you have two colanders right there. One big, and one small.
Roasting pan
It’s just too big! If you plan to roast a turkey or something huge, just buy a disposable pan for the occasion. Don’t store that monstrosity of a roasting pan for the blue moon occasion when you cook an entire rib eye. A Dutch oven or braising pan can go in the stove or on the stove and will hold enough food to feed a small army. Give grandma her roasting pan back. You don’t need it.
Meat mallet
This is my favorite example of CLK ingenuity! Don’t buy or store a meat mallet. Pound out that chicken cutlet, crush those nuts with a heavy bottom saucepot, and tenderize that steak with a fork. Really.
Metal or wooden spoons and metal spatulas
One heat resistant spatula can take care of all your stirring and flipping needs. It comes clean much easier than a wooden spoon, and mine has a hole in the handle making it perfect to hang from the pot rack.
Sifter
My mom always used one of those old school flour sifters that looks like a tin can with a handle attached. This thing is the epitome of the one trick pony. In my CLK, I can’t live without a whisk or a strainer and both can take the place of a sifter. A sifter, however, can’t whip egg whites or strain out raspberry seeds (at least not very efficiently).
Melon baller
I’m kind of offended by balls of melon anyway. Think of all the melon that probably got thrown away, unless you were clever enough to put the scraps in a smoothie or fancy margarita! The Greek-Godlike Stuffed Tomatoes do need to be hollowed out, however, and a metal measuring spoon or even a dinner spoon will make short order of this.
Mandolin and microplanes
Now in my restaurants, I really can’t live without a mandolin. We just slice and julienne in too much volume to use a box grater. In my home however, I only use my box cheese grater, which comes with three grating sides—fine, medium, and coarse, and one slicing side for slicing—for all my grating and slicing needs. I can slice cheese and mushrooms, fine grate or microplane ginger and chocolate, or shred potatoes—all with one handy tool.
Immersion blender
I love the immersion blender we have at the restaurant, but it’s a great big stainless machine with super sharp blades and a boat motor inside of it. However, the smaller versions designed for use at home have two problems. They can’t smooth soup perfectly, nor can they make margaritas. Your blender will perform these tasks to a tee!
Food processor
A food processor takes up a lot of space and is a bear to clean. Your box grater and blender will fulfill all the functions this ungainly item can perform.
Coffee maker
The idea of fitting an electric coffee maker on my counter is truly funny. Guests do deserve a good cup of coffee, and, interestingly enough, the tool that makes the tastiest cup is also the most CLK friendly. Get yourself a French press, and not only will you have the most flavorful cup of coffee in two minutes flat but cleanup will be a snap, and you can even use it to brew tea.
Electric can opener
Trusty old handheld can openers are not only reliable in a power outage, but most of them double as a bottle opener. Ditching your electric can opener for a manual model is a wonderful example of trading up from a one-trick pony to a CLK-friendly device.
Toaster/toaster oven
Anything you can drop in a toaster you can toast in a pan over medium heat. Unlike in the toaster oven, you can toast that bagel with butter in that same sauté pan without drying it out.
Spice rack
Besides wasting precious counter or cabinet space, spice racks hold spices that lack flavor and punch. Get rid of the crusty jars of decade-old spices and buy spices only as you need them.
Salad spinner
Yes, it will get your lettuce incredibly dry, but do you really need a gadget for this purpose? Simply allow your washed salad greens to drain inside the strainer or steamer basket of your large stockpot. Toss them around a little or pat them dry with a paper towel to expedite the process.
It’s Not What You Have,
It’s How You Use It
I cannot overemphasize that what’s in your Crappy Little Kitchen has very little to do with the gourmet meals that come out of it. It’s what you do with what you have that makes all the difference. Without hiring an architect or civil engineer, you can convert a genuine hovel into a lean and mean crappy little machine! Organization is the key.
Once you’ve purged the extraneous items from your CLK, it’s time to evaluate your kitchen layout. Try to think as logically as possible. I keep my jar of long handled utensils on top of my refrigerator right next to my stove. When I’m cooking, I can easily grab the utensil I need because it is in full sight and within arm’s reach. (It doesn’t hurt that I am taller than my refrigerator, but it can still work for you, too.) Put the set of mixing bowls next to the flour and sugar. Your pots and pans should already be hanging overhead, Keep the salt and pepper right on the stove.
Just like us, cabinets need to be beautiful on the inside as well as out. In a CLK, cabinets have to work double time. Placing a lazy Susan inside a cabinet adds a ton of usable space. Now the crap that you had buried in the back can swivel quite easily to the front. With a few minor tweaks, you can enhance the space in your crappy little cabinets and drawers. Add some trays to the drawers to separate your utensils. Don’t throw your back out crawling inside that cavernous, low to the ground cabinet, just install some rolling shelves.
You can buy them at any home improvement store, and the shelves come with detailed instructions. If I can do it, anybody can do it.
Buy inexpensive wire wine glass and coffee mug racks that you can easily install beneath your cabinets. You can even store everyday dishes, glasses, or appliances on freestanding shelves. Keep the good china wrapped up and boxed in an out-of-reach place for the rare occasion when you use it. Remember, you don’t need to store kitchen items in the kitchen. I store my good china at my Mom’s house and I never feel guilty about it! Cookbooks make wonderful conversation pieces and have beautiful pictures, so I keep mine on a bookshelf in the living room.
Lots and lots of light, especially natural light, help to create the illusion of space. If you have a window in the kitchen, don’t block the light with dark curtains or shades. Open the blinds and let the light shine in. For artificial light, use energy efficient lightbulbs to decrease the heat your bulbs pump into the kitchen, while increasing brightness. If your CLK doesn’t have wellplaced overhead lighting (and most don’t), you can easily install extra lighting beneath the cabinets. Buy battery-operated lights that adhere to the underside of the cabinet with adhesive tape. Brighten your walls with a fresh coat of semigloss paint. Food splatters wipe off easily from the slick surface semigloss provides. A clean, white canvas on your kitchen walls will make the room look and feel open and roomy.
The CLK Pantry
Stock minimal pantry items for everyday use. Most CLKs don’t have a real pantry area, so I recommend using at least part of one upper cabinet for staple dry goods. You can buy any other spices you need in small quantities, as they are needed, not only to maintain freshness, but also to take up less room. Many grocery stores sell loose items in what is often called the bulk section. Don’t let the name dissuade you. You can buy spices, nuts, and grains in small quantities as needed—even as little as a tablespoon at a time.
The list below covers items used repeatedly in the recipes for this book. It is not intended as a comprehensive list of ingredients used in the book since you would need quite a large pantry, as well as fridge, to keep all the ingredients on hand. Not to mention, the recipes often benefit from fresh-bought ingredients. Saffron is used several times throughout Gourmet Meals in Crappy Little Kitchens, but for financial and quality reasons, only buy a pinch at a time whenever you need it. When making gourmet meals in Crappy Little Kitchens on the fly (as we say in the biz), I would consider the following items “non-refrigerated staples”:
• Quality sea salt
• Pepper mill
• Red pepper flakes
• Ground cumin
• White pepper
• Bay leaf
• Yellow curry powder
• Smoked paprika
• Cayenne pepper
• Extra virgin olive oil
• Tabasco
• Honey (your favorite)
• Soy sauce
• Crushed, canned tomatoes (they’re always in season!)
• Dried pasta (only keep one variety on hand to save space, and just pick your favorite)
• Whole wheat bread
• Canned chipotle in adobo sauce
• Brown or white rice (whichever you prefer)
• Panko (Japanese bread crumbs)
• Chicken stock (or vegetable stock if you prefer)
• Kalamata olives
• Roma tomatoes
• Good vinegar (your favorite, but I use a lot of balsamic)
• Cornstarch
• Flour
• Sugar
• Powdered sugar
• Cornmeal
• Baking powder/baking soda
• Red wine (a chef’s kitchen should always have alcohol!)
• Nutmeg and cinnamon (for desserts, but also for making coffee special)
• Speaking of that, coffee and tea (it’s just polite)
THE AGE OF VINEGAR MATTERS
“Good” vinegar should be aged, much like fine wine. Often it is infused with flavors such as herbs or spices, but it can also be distilled from something other than grapes, like tomatoes, for example. Some specialty shops will actually pour tastings for you to try the wide variety of special vinegars available, and you won’t get tipsy!
• Dark chocolate (70 percent cocoa concentration. Don’t go any higher or it will taste very bitter. I find the chips or chunks melt very well, bake perfectly into cookies, and make a wonderful late night snack.)
• Quick cooking oats
Everything in Its Place
Now in my CLK, I keep a highly organized mini-pantry, which is actually just the cabinet next to the stove. Here’s my functional arrangement:
Consider what you’ll use most and keep it out. I use my sea salt, pepper mill, and olive oil every day, so I keep them out on the counter by my stove. Items that don’t get used daily can go in the cabinet. Place pastas, rice, and beans toward the back, because they stack well and will probably be used once or twice a week at the most. Group together baking ingredients such as flour, sugar, baking soda, and baking powder and store them near the back.
Frequently used, but non-staple items sit in the first row or on a lazy Susan, if you have one. In my CLK that means pepper flakes, paprika, soy sauce, Tabasco, and honey.
Since most refrigerated items are perishable, buy them very close to the day you plan to consume them. You’ll find very little inside a chef’s refrigerator that doesn’t come in a bottle or can, but I try to keep these items on hand for everyday use and in the event of pop-in guests.
• Eggs
• Butter
• Cream (for coffee)
• Yellow onions
• Beer and white wine (for guests and the chef—W. C. Fields said, “I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.”)
•Wedge of your favorite salty cheese (Hard salty cheeses last longer than soft or triple cream cheeses. Buy soft cheeses when you know someone is coming over.)
• Section of salami (If it gets around that you offer wine, cheese, and salami to the pop-ins . . . you’ll be beating off friends with that stick of salami!)
Preventing Crappy Little Casualties
It’s tough enough to maneuver as one person in a Crappy Little Kitchen. Have you ever experienced the excruciating pain of smacking the top of your head on the corner of an open cabinet or, heaven forbid, of sloshing scalding hot water on your arm? Throw one or two more cooks into the mix and accidents are bound to happen. The yelling you may hear that wafts into the dining room of your favorite restaurant probably comes from cooks giving a “heads up” in a professional kitchen to prevent such mishaps. Now in your CLK, there’s no reason to yell, but you can apply the same principal to prevent crappy communication.
• When carrying something hot announce it. “Hot! Coming through.” Your sous chef will know where you are and that you have something hot, so he’ll get out of the way.
• When moving from one end of the kitchen to another, let everybody know. “Coming down!” This helps to prevent crappy little collisions.
• If you’re working behind someone, make yourself known. “Behind you!” If he knows you’re there, he won’t turn around quickly and burn you with a hot sauté pan or accidentally turn into your knife.
• While carrying your knife through the kitchen, hold it down at your side and pointed directly at the ground, just as you learned to carry a scissor in grade school. Safety should come first when maneuvering around your CLK with a deadly weapon!
• Exercise common sense. Let your crouching kitchen partner know you just opened the cabinet above them. Make the kitchen a no-run zone (even running in small circles, which is all you can probably do, should be verboten). If you pull a pan out of the oven and set it on the counter, announce that it is “Hot!” so your friend won’t try to pick it up.
Nine Gourmet Rules
Now that your CLK is well stocked, looks great, and has functional flow— what about taste? Remember a kitchen does not make a gourmet, but rather a gourmet makes the food that comes out of the kitchen. With a little practice, a few golden gourmet rules, and my restaurant-tested recipes and chefwisdom, you’ll possess the know-how to create beautiful and tasty culinary masterpieces from your Crappy Little Kitchen.
Rule number one: Buy fresh, seasonal, local, and organic. Purchasing seasonal fruits and veggies, not only ensures the best flavor and color, but it also saves money. Ask the produce person at the grocery store to point you in the direction of his freshest items. Buy local produce at farmer’s markets and mom and pop grocers. When at the supermarket look for the country of origin on your fruits and veggies, and gravitate to products grown in your own region or state. Free range, vegetarian chickens without hormones, pesticide free peppers and tomatoes, and 100 percent whole grains will present you with a completely new spectrum of colors, flavors, and textures.
They don’t make specialists for nothing! Purchase your meat from a butcher’s shop, your fish from a seafood supplier, your produce, herbs, spices, eggs, and dairy from a farmer’s market. You’ll be pleased, not only with the quality and value of these products, but the people who work at these places remember faces and names and can offer great advice and ideas for the foods you are purchasing. I make a point of being friendly with specialty shop owners and workers. They can provide a plethora of information, from special deals you should jump at, to the freshest ingredients available, and they’ll sometimes throw a little extra your way and won’t let you buy anything you’ll regret.
Rule number two: Before you do anything, always read a recipe through.
This will make it easier to come up with a game plan and then a shopping list. You don’t want to start cooking only to realize you don’t have all necessary supplies, or that you don’t have the time needed to cook the recipe start to finish. Make a list of all the ingredients you need to purchase including the specific amount desired, and shop for only two to three days at a time.
Rule number three: Get to know recipe lingo. If you want to cook like a chef, you need to learn some basic recipe terminology. Here’s most of what you’ll need to know to cook like a pro. According to American Culinary Federation guidelines, chopping results in random, irregular shaped pieces and has little to do with the size. Dicing involves cutting into uniform sizes and shapes. Large dice means a three-fourth-inch cube, medium dice means a one-half-inch cube, and small dice means a one-fourth-inch cube. A brunois is a one-eighth-inch cube. Mincing is anything smaller than a brunois. It is usually so fine that the product is almost pastelike.
Simmering is cooking at a lower temperature than boiling. This is when small bubbles may break at the surface, but they can be stirred down. Boiling takes place over higher heat with the liquid in full motion where large bubbles form, continuously break at the surface, and cannot be stirred down.
Folding usually involves using a rubber spatula to integrate two mixtures gently together without beating, to preserve the volume. You carefully cut down through one side of the mixture and then roll your spatula over, turning the bowl with each stroke, to “fold” the two together.
Sweating is the process of releasing flavors with moisture at a low temperature. Add a little olive oil and the vegetables to the sauté pan on low to medium heat. Cook for only a few minutes to release the moisture from the vegetables, but no browning should take place.
Rule number four: Prior to grocery shopping, take the time to check out what’s already in the refrigerator. If you have leftovers, see if they can be used in your upcoming recipes, and throw away anything that’s about to go bad. Rather than buying more tomatoes to dice in your Tomato and Avocado Frittata, use your leftover Pico de Gallo from the night before.
Rule number five: Break down your groceries right when you get home.
I always have a box of quart-size and gallon-size freezer bags on hand for this purpose. That way, I can wrap all my fresh herbs in clean paper towels and put them in the same large bag. I separate my protein into usable portion sizes and put them in small bags, and my vegetables stay fresh longer in a sturdy plastic freezer bag than in the flimsy plastic sack intended for travel.
To save time when you’re in a hurry, buy food that’s already been cleaned and prepped for you. I frequent grocery store salad bars for perfectly sliced onion, carrot, and celery in whatever quantities my recipe calls for, and conveniently priced by the pound. Not only does this save you prep and cleanup time at home, but often the price per pound at the salad bar costs less than some vegetables whole, especially when you factor in what gets thrown away from waste.
Rule number six: Complete all the legwork before you start cooking. In a professional kitchen a chef will tell you to “mise en place” a recipe, which is French for “in its place.” That means dice all your veggies (if you didn’t buy them precut) and chop up the meat before you heat a pan. Pull out all the condiments for the recipe so you know you don’t have to go digging for the flour while your garlic burns in the pan. A very CLK friendly concept since we might only be working from one cutting board.
Rule number seven: Always taste your food before you serve it. I will repeatedly ask you to season to taste with salt and pepper. Seasoning is a very personal preference. Only your taste buds can decide how much to add.
Taste the dish first with no additional seasoning. If it tastes bland, add some salt, a pinch at a time, until the salt brings out the flavor of the food. You want to enhance the flavor of the food, not taste the salt. Move on with the pepper and do the same thing. Most important, never serve a dish that you haven’t tasted, seasoned, and tasted again.
A few recipes call for you to season the meat heavily or liberally with salt and pepper. To do this, I want you to coat the food thoroughly with salt and pepper until the spices fall off the meat. The seasonings infuse the meat with flavor and enhance the overall depth of the dish. On the other hand, a recipe that says to season lightly means to sprinkle a pinch of salt and pepper over the whole dish.
Rule number eight: Presentation counts. For each recipe, I will provide you with step-by-step instructions on how to create an elaborate-looking plate with your limited space and resources. Use my ideas as a springboard for your own creativity, because a plate is like a blank canvas for you to paint your own stroke of genius. When developing your style, start with innovative garnishes you find pleasing, such as the ones found in the Soup section, and move on to mastering simple Appetizers and Salads. The good news is that every recipe completed, not only brings you closer to culinary dominance, but closer to dinner!
Rule number nine: Keep a sink full of hot soapy water whenever tackling a big cooking endeavor, even if you have a dishwasher (I don’t in my Crappy Little Kitchen). Wash as you go, freeing up the pots and pans you need to use more than once, and cutting the end cleanup time to no time flat! Never let the pile of dishes left after a meal spook you out of cooking from scratch again.
Tuck these rules in your back pocket, and get ready to embark on a culinary journey only your Crappy Little Kitchen can provide. Nurture the love and cherish the uniqueness and glory of your Crappy Little Kitchen space. With my help and your willingness, your Crappy Little Kitchen will serve as the centerpiece for great times, gourmet food, and countless memories. With each recipe you’ll become a stronger cook, gaining confidence as a chef until, eventually, you won’t need me to tell you what to do. You will master the art of cooking, and take pride in your CLK and the special aura it creates. You will love your Crappy Little Kitchen as I love mine. I guarantee it.
Let’s hold off on the love fest and get down to the meat of the matter (pun intended) by experiencing the gourmet recipes that follow.