We were out for a joy ride. Of course, Jonah looked breathtakingly handsome while driving his sexy Charger. Wind blew our hair wildly as we sped through the winding roads of the mountains. I’ve never been to the mountains before, but it was like Jonah was completing my thoughts and imaginations of what I believed it would be like.
He didn’t speak. During the silence, I took the time to stare at him with reverence and admiration. His silky dark hair was a raging mess as the wind from the sunroof blew through the strands. His glittering green eyes held promises I was only too willing to discover. His lips pursed slightly as he concentrated on the road, then split into a full-on cheesy smile when he caught me staring. I didn’t bother to look away. I wasn’t embarrassed of my admiration for this man.
My first vision of the West Coast was perfect. The sun was setting over the Pacific Ocean causing the sky to swirl with the most beautiful pinks, oranges, and yellows my eyes had ever seen. Streaks of tiny, puffy clouds broke the gradient of colors, causing an abstract pattern across the afternoon sky.
Jonah reached over and grabbed my hand, lacing his fingers through mine, and bathing me with goose bumps all over my skin. His hand was warm. Tender, yet strong. I wanted his hands all over me, exploring every inch of my body and making me writhe with excitement. Just the mere thought of his hands touching my tender skin caused the blood to whoosh through my ears with every beat of my heart.
I suddenly wished the center console of this car was nonexistent so I could sit closer to the man who took my breath away.
Brazenly going where I had never gone before, I leaned over and ran my hand up his leg, slowly tracing the hard muscles from his knee all the way to his groin.
A sharp hiss was all I heard as he sucked in a ragged breath, obviously affected by my forward advances. I leaned further, practically stretching out of my seat belt, and gave him a light peck on the cheek. I continued my assault by trailing my lips across the light scruff on his jaw. Making my way to his ear, I used my tongue to let him know how divine he tasted.
Deciding to excite him even more, I lightly nibbled on his earlobe with my teeth, grazing ever so slightly and sucking the soft tissue into my mouth. My advances were rewarded with a low grumble of pleasure as he brought his hand up to grab the back of my head in an attempt to keep me steady. He was enjoying this.
Still, he said nothing as he stealthily navigated the mountainous roads ahead of us. But, I didn’t need words to know I was driving him wild. His reaction alone told me I affected him just as much as he did me.
Out of nowhere, a dog limped in front of the car, causing Jonah to swerve frantically in every attempt to avoid hitting the poor mutt. He tried to gain control of the car, but ended up fishtailing. You would think I’d be able to hear the screeching of the tires, the rev of the engine, or the sound of my screams as we plummeted over the side of the cliff. Yet, there was no sound—only devastating horror as we watched each other die.
My lungs gasped for air as I sprang up from my pillow, grabbing my chest in a desperate attempt to close the gaping hole in my heart. Sobs began pouring out of my throat, causing tears to splash unforgivingly onto my quilt.
Reality set in once more, as it did every time I woke up from one of my nightmares. Part of me wished it could be real, if only for the fact it would mean Jonah was also real.
God, I wish he were real. I don’t know how I planned to live my life without knowing whether he truly existed or if he was just a figment of my sad, pathetic imagination.
I looked out the window to see it was still dark. The clock glowing through my darkened room told me it was only five-thirty in the morning. My mind was telling me to go back to sleep. My heart was saying how absurd that idea was as it pounded on my chest.
Knowing full well I would never be able to get back to sleep after the nightmare that plagued me in darkness, I decided to get up and do some of my stretches to help recover my muscle flexibility. Atrophied beyond belief, my legs were still very weak and caused me to struggle constantly with even the simplest of tasks.
Today, I would challenge myself. Today, I would go for a walk. I needed to do something to gain my strength back. I was way too independent of a person to be relying on my mother all the time. At least now I could wipe my own ass.
*****
Once it was light out, I decided to text Jesse just to see what she was up to today.
What are you doin?
About a half hour and a cup of tea later, I finally got a text back. Wait... make that two texts, back-to-back.
Crushing on some very sexy fictional characters.
Um, I mean, reading. You?
I began to laugh at her witty response.
Bored. Couldn’t sleep.
After I sent the text, I realized just how pathetic it sounded. But, one thing I’ve learned from Jesse’s mind, she didn’t judge. It was probably her most admirable quality.
Another nightmare?
Ahh. She knew me too well. I let her in on my nightmare secrets, but not in detail. She doesn’t know anything about the fact that all my nightmares involve one particularly handsome, green-eyed god. All she knows is I am plagued with them and have been ever since I woke up in the hospital a little over a month ago.
Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about it.
I felt stupid for even bringing it up now that I was effectively cutting her off from the subject. I felt a little relieved when the phone buzzed again.
Want me to come over? We could do breakfast...
Mmm. I loved having breakfast with Jesse. She was a great cook, probably because her parents left her alone to fend for herself so often. According to my mom, Jesse would come over for breakfast quite often while I was in the hospital.
I would love that.
She responded saying she would be over in a few and the idea of a blooming friendship with this girl made me smile.
*****
Once Jesse came over, we busied ourselves by making breakfast. Poached eggs, turkey bacon, and mixed fruit were artfully splayed out as my sleepy mother rounded the corner.
“Good morning, ladies,” she said with a smile as her eyes sparkled in the morning sunlight. “A girl could get spoiled with such wonderful meals every morning. You two are keepers.”
“You know it was all Jesse, Mom. She’s the cook,” I said as I poured my mom some tea and pushed the cream and sugar toward her.
“Oh, yeah, right. Don’t let her fool you. What Ella fails to mention is she poached the eggs this morning. I just put on the bacon and sliced fruit,” Jesse said as she sat next to me and nudged me with her shoulder.
“Regardless of who did what, you two are spoiling me. Keep this up and I might just have to treat you girls to a ride later this week,” my mom added with a wink as she bit into a melon, causing juice to dribble down her chin.
I haven’t ridden Cora or Skip yet. Well, not really. Unfortunately, the memory of my riding excursion with Jonah would be way too intense at the moment. But, my mom thought it would be great muscle therapy to begin riding again. So, we planned to sometime soon. Jesse has never been riding before, so she would likely ride along with me or my mom.
“I would love to go riding!” Jesse squealed, clapping her hands together and smiling broadly as she bounced in her seat.
“Well, okay then! We’ll go tomorrow afternoon,” my mom said with a wink.
The thought of Jesse being with us was probably distraction enough to keep my mind somewhat clear of Jonah memories. At least, I hoped.
*****
That day, I decided to go to Lavendine by myself. It was only a few blocks from my house and the walk would do me some good. Plus, I hadn’t sat at a wheel since I was fourteen and I wanted to try it alone. No pressure of onlookers... I was really hoping the studio would be fairly empty today. I thought about inviting Jesse, but I just needed the solitary hours to myself for now.
My mom and I played around a bit yesterday, but not on the wheels. We just got our hands dirty making some simple pinch pots and fooling around a bit. We didn’t even keep what we made. It was just an attempt to relax for a while. We spent great time together and it helped me familiarize myself with the substance again. I also needed to refresh my memory with all the tools. They had some community tools at the studio, but I felt the need to get my own. So, I was thankful to learn there was a small art store just a block away from the studio. With a little huffing, I successfully walked the distance and stopped by the local art store on my way to Lavendine.
As soon as I walked in the glass doors of Lavendine, my stomach flipped and my heart began to race... almost like I was nervous about something, or someone. My body was reacting to something, turning over like the rev of a crotch-rocket. But, the only person around was the studio monitor, Jay. He was nice and all, but he kept staring at me and smiling like he had some hidden secret. All he kept thinking was, Wow! Her eyes! and Man, the boss flipped over her.
I thought this was a community-run studio, so whoever “the boss” was remained a mystery to me.
After introducing myself to Jay and making some small talk, I decided to dive in headfirst... or, hands first... and throw myself a small mug or vase.
Jay seemed to hover precariously close, constantly touching my arms and asking me if I needed help. I really was beginning to feel uncomfortable around him when he finally received a text message and excused himself.
Thank god!
I gathered some clay and set out all my new tools, knowing I would need them. It took me quite a while to lay everything out, not because I was a degenerate or anything, but because I was nervous. My over-organization of the area was my way of stalling. Finally deciding to brave it, I straddled the wheel basin and threw a small wad of clay onto the bat, attempting to get it as close to the center as possible. As I began centering some porcelain and familiarizing myself with the smooth, buttery feeling between my fingers, I couldn’t help but shake the feeling I was being watched again.
I could hear Jay’s thoughts and it seemed he was telling someone I was here. It was odd because his were the only thoughts making a sound in my brain. Then, his thoughts were becoming rather graphic with ideas of how he would “take me” as he kept putting it in his mind.
I rolled my eyes at the idea. Not gonna happen. Not interested one little bit. It’s not that Jay wasn’t cute or anything, he just definitely wasn’t my type. Most of the time, his thoughts were just a little too graphic for me to ever like a man like that. Maybe graphic isn’t the right word. Maybe, offensive?
Then, I heard Jay’s thoughts as he uttered the one word that would surely get my attention... Jonah.