Her name’s April, you say with a mean scowl.
How’d you like it if
I called you Daw instead of Don.
Daw? he says, laughing loud enough
to startle the few kids in the lunchroom who weren’t
paying attention.
That doesn’t even make sense.
Daw is the origin of your name, you continue.
It means simpleton, as in IDIOT.
He stops laughing.
As for your last name, Eggleston,
well, that comes from the Latin word
egesta, as in excrement, or dung.
So maybe we should call you Dumb Dung.
Now the whole lunchroom is cracking up,
April too.
Or better yet, how about Stupid Crap!
A guy in the back of the line hollers,
SHOTS FIRED!
Even the blond-haired cafeteria lady joins in on the fun:
Oh my, you just got cooked, son.
The place goes crazy.
It’s like you’re about to score
and everyone’s chanting your name.
Nick Hall! Nick Hall! NICK HALL!
He charges, tries
to tackle you.
And then (What the—)
you snap
out of it and
realize
that none of this
happened.
ARGGH!