I know I can do this.
Or so I told myself, walking in the frigid morning air from The Inn to The Daily Grind, bracing myself to invite Duke for dinner with my father, just the three of us. I knew convincing him it was safe to reveal our relationship to my dad wouldn’t be easy, but it would be worth it. My sneakers moved over solid cement, my stride making bold progress.
The brisk morning chilled me from ears to toes, yet the wonderful memories of our weekend together warmed me from within.
Work didn’t feel like work. Because Duke was there, my shifts were like Christmas every day. I got to be in the same place as him, brushing my arm against his as we both poured coffee, hearing his deep, soothing voice as he took customer orders, and salivating over simple things like how he carried himself with a commanding air of self-confidence, his powerful well-muscled body moving with easy grace.
It was enough to make me want to create a career out of being a barista. Only everybody kept telling me it should only be a short-term option.
Now that the family decided to seek a new place to live in Briarville, my parents and grandparents had asked me questions. The main thread of the conversation being, “Did we really set you free from the family business just so you could serve people’s coffee, breakfast, and lunch every day?”
Truth was, I knew exactly what I wanted. To be staying at Duke’s ranch, helping mix the barley mash for his horses, and delivering buckets to the stalls before the sun was up. Make him chocolate concoctions cooked up in his kitchen big enough to hold an army. Spend all day, every day with him, just so I could see his irresistibly devastating grin like the one I expected him to greet me with when I unlocked the front door of his café.
“Good morning, Clover,” he husked, his brows drawing together with an agonized expression instead of offering the smile which dared me to fall in love with him.
What was that about? I’d missed him every second since he dropped me off from our so-called business trip, and now confusion welded together in one upsurge of yearning.
The door that separated the café from the storage area in back opened, and a young woman stepped out. She had a shoulder-length bob, and her skin glowed, giving her an ethereal air. She was thin compared to me—slender like a pencil, and the apron tie around her waist defined its smallness in a way that made me envious of her figure. When our eyes met, her smile was wide and inviting, as if she already knew my name.
Indeed, she did. “You must be Clover,” she said and extended a hand.
My heart sank as I realized there would be no chance of sneaking in a cuddle or make-out session with Duke before the café opened.
“I’m Ava.” She broke into a wide-open smile, and the even whiteness of her teeth nearly blinded me.
Duke spoke coolly, empty of any emotion, and while I knew his intention was to keep things between us on the down-low, my heart felt his denial of us as if a pitiless hand wrapped around my heart and squeezed. And with his next words, I became the walking dead.
“I brought Ava on board since I need more time to manage the boarding stables. You know how to make all the coffee and espresso drinks, which is what Ava needs to learn first. Then you can show her how to keep items stocked, work the cash register, and clean everything.”
I fought hard against tears I refused to let fall. What did I expect? That after spending a weekend away with me, everything had changed? Instead, he was pushing me away, so I didn’t know where I stood with him.
Instead of reaching out to clutch his hand, whose fingers caressed his mug, I walked abruptly behind the counter to grab a cup and tried to think of something to say that might make the moment less awkward. I fumbled with my barista apron, tying it on quickly and hurriedly, without giving the loops their proper attention.
“Hi, Ava. It’s good to meet you. Like Duke said, I’ll help you get up to speed on the coffee drinks and all the rest.” My voice was an even composure, but inside my heart sank. I had so hoped our weekend away would have been the start of something new between us. Instead, it felt like we were going backwards.
The coffee mug felt good wrapped in both my hands, sending its warmth right into my blood.
What the heck did I expect? Duke was such a competent, confident man. Soldier and business owner. A man who’d fought for his sobriety.
What did I know how to do?
Milk goats and grow vegetables.
Now that my family didn’t even own a farm, that wasn’t exactly an option.
My life plans were pretty much null and void, other than serving up coffee every day.
Coffee and Duke.
It wasn’t like I had aims to be an astronaut or the first female president. Happiness was something I found in everyday life, like the rich aroma of dark-roasted beans. The sharp tang of espresso and the milky sweetness of the foam I’d just poured on top.
I took a deep, steadying breath as I stared into my coffee mug. The warmth of the liquid seemed too comforting. How could Duke pretend nothing had happened between us? That I hadn’t submitted to him, not only in body but in spirit. This very minute, every cell of my being longed for him to push me against a wall, any wall, and kiss the hell out of me.
Ava was friendly and business-like as she asked Duke questions before he left, eager to learn the ropes at the café. I tried hard not to eavesdrop, but I heard her say she’d done similar work before and always enjoyed it, so it shouldn’t take her too long to catch on. My stomach twisted in knots as I watched Duke smile at her, genuine this time, and not the careful one he’d given me moments before.
My skin burned with jealousy as I watched them chat. All I wanted was for Duke to turn his attention back on me, even for just a moment or two, and show some sort of sign that he still cared about our relationship—or whatever it was we were supposed to have together before this awkward situation had presented itself.
Duke excused himself abruptly after making sure Ava and I had our marching orders for the day. He stepped right past me, hurrying off to the ranch—without so much as a glance or a wave in my direction.
His sudden change in attitude weighed heavily on my shoulders, as if tied to a Big Bud tractor going over a cliff. A lone tear slipped down my cheek unchecked as I thought about how things had been just days ago when Duke held me close during our weekend away from reality—when he acted like he loved me.
Grimly, I wiped that tear away and began scrubbing the counter with my back to Ava. Could it be that was all it was for him?
An act?
His abrupt change in mood was so puzzling.
I put it out of my mind the best way I knew how. Staying busy.
Addressing Ava, I said, “First, let’s go over the menu. I can show you where everything is in the back, and you can watch me take orders and make coffee. Does that sound reasonable?”
I looked around the café, the place where I’d happily imagined myself spending the rest of my life. So much had changed in such a short time. Now, every spot in the place was a reminder of him, how I’d suddenly catch his gaze riveted on my face, then moving slowly down my body.
The mere touch of his hand when he’d passed me a bag of coffee beans would send shivers through me. His special employee discipline program, where he spanked my bare bottom, was something I looked forward to.
I could feel my cheeks flush and my heart rate increasing just thinking about the closeness we shared during those times. Even though Ava was there now, that moment was still ours alone, a secret between only us two. And no matter how much I tried to deny it, I ached for his touch once more—for one more chance to feel those firm hands caressing my body before punishing me for whatever minor infraction he’d deemed necessary for the day.
All I could do at this point was make sure everything ran smoothly in the café.
Ava appeared eager enough to learn, and we spent the morning going over the details of the coffee and sandwich menu. Somehow, we managed the lunch rush together, probably because she knew all the techniques required to make excellent coffee. She just had to learn the specific ingredients used at The Daily Grind. At the end of the day, we both wiped down the tables and cleaned the floors.
“How long have you known Duke?” she asked.
I stiffened, replying, “Just about forever. He and my dad are best friends.”
Her tone was friendly, smiling, bantering in a relaxed manner. “Bummer. I could have sworn there was something between the two of you. Beyond the obvious boss-employee relationship, I mean.”
She clapped both hands over her mouth, her eyes flying open. I gripped the countertop tightly to keep from giving anything away.
“God, Clover, I’m so sorry. I always realize some things are better left unsaid right after I say them.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I reassured her, realizing her direct approach to things was growing on me. Then my head puzzled with new thoughts, and it turned out, Ava wasn’t the only one who couldn’t keep her mouth shut. “Why did you think there was anything between us?”
Finished with wiping the display counter, Ava grabbed the notebook she’d made notes in all day. She leaned her head back and gazed into my eyes. “Hard to explain. The main thing was every time you weren’t looking at him, he was feasting his eyes on you. Literally. Like he wanted to eat you up. Maybe it’s just a one-sided thing. Sorry, if telling you this makes it awkward for you.”
I tilted my head, telling myself awkward was when you thought you were falling in love with someone, and they didn’t feel the same. Awkward was when the man you had a crush on refused to look at you or speak to you the same way. Awkward was falling for your dad’s best friend.
“I’m okay, Ava. Don’t worry about it.” It was a lie, and I felt bad deceiving her so early into our working relationship. I’d gotten myself into this mess, and I’d figure a way to get myself out.
We returned to work until everything was clean and shiny. That done, we took off our aprons with a sigh of relief—me because I wanted to escape this day as quickly as possible, and Ava because she probably wanted to get home after such a long day on her feet at The Daily Grind.
We said goodbye at the door with one last wave before departing.
I headed to the vacation rental shared with my family, where no doubt I’d spend another long night filled with thoughts about Duke... and me... and whether we were meant to be.