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Even though it was her idea to wait until Saturday to see each other again, Elizabeth couldn’t stand the time apart. It’d been torturous, waiting to be near Annabelle. Part of it was fear that Annabelle wouldn’t show up, that whatever held her back would keep her from continuing to see Elizabeth. The other part was anticipation. She couldn’t wait to hold Annabelle in her arms again, to kiss her and let her know how much she missed her.
Now that she and Annabelle were seated in the restaurant, facing each other over exquisitely-styled platters of omelets, fried potatoes, fruit and, of course, mimosas, she couldn’t stop smiling.
“What is it?” Annabelle asked, shaking out her napkin and placing it over her knees. Even with her goth-black hair, all-black clothes, and extra piercings, she looked fairly comfortable in the restaurant. It was a bit fancier than where they’d gone so far, though certainly not as upscale as what Elizabeth was used to when it came to work.
She mentally stripped the black dye out of Annabelle’s hair and changed her clothes to something slightly... prettier. Not totally different, of course, because Annabelle’s charm was in how unique she was among a sea of basic blandness. Underneath it all, however, she could see a lovely woman who didn’t need to hide anything about herself.
“I just think you’re adorable,” Elizabeth answered.
“Well, thank you.” Annabelle picked up her fork and knife and cut into her omelet. “I have to ask you something and it’s okay if you say no, or if you say yes and then things change before it happens.”
“Oh?” Intriguing. Elizabeth sipped at her mimosa and waited for Annabelle to continue. In a way, she admired that Annabelle was prepared for any response, but she found it disconcerting that she anticipated something negative. She hoped she wasn’t giving off some sort of vibe that gave Annabelle any reason to worry.
“My family – well, my father, really – holds an annual holiday gala and I was wondering if you would be my date. It’s fancy, of course, and just an excuse to get together and make merry with about a hundred or so of his closest friends and associates.”
That sounded interesting and Elizabeth sat up a little straighter. “Would it be my first chance to meet the family?”
“I guess so, unless you think you should meet them sooner. But I kind of like the idea of springing you on them. Especially my sister.”
That didn’t sound promising and Elizabeth furrowed her brow. “Why is that?”
Annabelle looked at her and shook her head. “Nothing bad, I promise. It’s just that they’ve gotten used to me dating a certain type of woman and you would surprise them. I’d like to see their faces when I bring someone in the same class as them. I really hate that word but, yeah, it’s the only way to put it.”
Suspicions confirmed. Annabelle was just as upper class as Elizabeth. “Why?” she asked.
“Why what? You seem to be full of why questions today.”
“Well, I think they’re valid questions, so why do you date women they won’t approve of?”
The breath Annabelle blew out seemed long-suffering or impatient or... something. Elizabeth wasn’t sure. Then she saw the way Annabelle puffed out her cheeks and squared her shoulders, like she was psyching herself up for something.
“My mom died right after I graduated from high school and then my father married this awful woman.” Annabelle paused and added, “I make it sound like it happened immediately after my mother died. Dad waited a couple of years, but I think he could have done better.”
“Well, why don’t you define awful,” Elizabeth said. The last thing she wanted to do was pass judgment on a woman she’d never met, but knowing Annabelle’s feelings would certainly help. Especially if she was going to meet her stepmother at the event.
“Oh, gosh. Like, I mean the kind of woman who puts Snow White’s and Cinderella’s stepmothers to shame. All the stepmonster cares about is money and prestige, which both Dad and my sister give her. I’m the disappointment, the one she thinks is determined to ruin her life by not falling into line. And it doesn’t help that she thinks she’s the cool stepmom, you know? Like, she’s thirty-eight or something, but she acts like she’s fifteen years younger.”
Annabelle stopped and took a breath, her cheeks red.
“I’m ranting, aren’t I?”
“A little, but I want to hear it,” Elizabeth assured her. “I’ve been trying to wrap my head around all these things about you. You’ve given me some clues, but now it’s all coming together. Did this rebellion start with your mother’s death?”
“No,” Annabelle answered, drawing out the word. “No, definitely not then. It started long before that. Like when I read the poem Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe and decided I didn’t want people to know I was named for my grandmother anymore. Not that I didn’t love my Grandma Annabelle, but there was something far more exciting about Poe’s works. So I wanted to claim I was named for that poem. That was my mom’s doing. She’s the one who taught me to love literature.”
Something about the admission was morbid, but charming at the same time. Elizabeth could appreciate that, given her shared love for the renaissance faire, history, and literature, and she nodded. “So you were a pretty normal teenager, I take it. You just decided to explore your goth phase.”
“Sort of. There were existential aspects of it, too. Like when it hit me that being rich was useless if we were all susceptible to the same human conditions – love, illness, and death, you know? That definitely happened when my mom got sick.”
Charming and deep. Elizabeth felt her heart flutter in her chest. So many feelings filled her at the moment – sympathy for Annabelle’s loss and admiration for how she’d explored some of the scarier facets of existence as a result of it. These were the questions most people shied away from, especially the rich and the beautiful.
“I know what you mean, at least a little bit. I went through similar realizations after my sister decided to estrange herself from me, which is what brought me to drama and medieval reenactment. On the side, of course, because I still had career ambitions.”
“See, if I’d done that – had a career in business and some weird little side interests – my family would have been fine with it. They would have seen the stuff I’m into as a phase or a hobby, and accepted it. But when my mother was dying, it just drove all of those adolescent thoughts home for me. Life itself is a phase and that’s all she wrote.”
Elizabeth almost waved the waiter over to refill Annabelle’s mimosa, because the brunette downed half of it in one swallow.
“No, I’m good,” Annabelle told her. “I just want juice after this. Anyway, what might have been a phase stretched out into a lot more for me. I couldn’t see the point of going to college to slave away in a corporate job, when what I really wanted was to make other people happy, to make this whole journey of being alive worthwhile for others, not just myself.”
“That’s really noble. Did you ever consider non-profit work?” Elizabeth suggested. “You know, we work with some in the city that might be of interest to you.”
“I did, but that felt a little too depressing, even for me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s rewarding. But the path just isn’t for me.”
That made sense. What worked for one person, didn’t necessarily work for another, and Elizabeth nodded in agreement. “I can respect that.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that, because goodness knows my family can’t. I’m their biggest disappointment. It doesn’t help that my sister did exactly what they wanted us both to do and got some amazing job doing... I don’t know, whatever she’s been doing ever since graduating from college.”
“Well.” Elizabeth picked up her glass and said, “I’m sure you are both awesome in your own ways, so here’s to you and your sister.”
Annabelle raised her glass in response to the toast and the flush seemed to recede. “Right,” she said. “We can both be awesome, while still doing different things. I need to learn to think about it that way. Teach me, Wise One.”
Elizabeth laughed and set down her glass. “Trust me when I say I’m not wise, even in my forties, but I understand. I’ve learned a lot over the years. You know my sister and I don’t see eye-to-eye. It’s sad to think we probably never will, but I had to learn to accept it, since I can’t change it.” Thinking about her sister didn’t really make Elizabeth feel better, but if it helped Annabelle, it was worth discussing.
But Annabelle waved her off. “I don’t want you to relive the pain of how she rejected you. I get what you’re saying. Maybe I got off light, in that regard. My father thinks gays are the ultimate fashion accessory.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, still grinning. “Of course we are, because we’re fabulous.”
They finally ate, but Elizabeth mulled over the conversation, relieved to understand Annabelle’s history. Knowing what had contributed to her becoming the person she was explained so much of her unwillingness to even consider dating Elizabeth at first.
There were no more excuses now, though, especially since they’d slept together. Their cards were both all out on the table.
“I don’t want to sound like I’m having my own existential crisis or anything,” Elizabeth said as they sat back after eating their huge breakfast, “but I’m in a strange place these days. Since you seem to have it all figured out, maybe you wouldn’t mind if I bounce some thoughts off of you.”
Annabelle’s chuckle was music to her ears. It wasn’t often that the girl laughed. “You’re welcome to, but I’ll have you know I’m the last person with the answers to everything.”
“Then maybe it’s a good thing I don’t know the question just yet.”
“Right? Like in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.”
“Yet another reference lost on me.”
Annabelle clucked her tongue and winked. “You poor dear. It’s a good thing you found me.”
Silence settled between them and Elizabeth wrapped her hands around the hot cup of coffee sitting in front of her. She took a deep breath, appreciating the rich scent. After two mimosas and a filling breakfast, the coffee was a welcome end to the meal.
Annabelle seemed content to do the same – cradle her coffee between her hands and sip it occasionally. Even though she had to work later, she looked more relaxed than Elizabeth had ever seen her. Except in sleep and after sex, of course, and the thought of both made her wonder if Annabelle would want to come over after work.
Instead, though, she redirected her thoughts to the topic she’d already mentioned. “I work in a very demanding job,” she said, “and while I don’t know if I want to give it up entirely, I know it doesn’t feel right anymore. Not the way it used to.”
“When did you start feeling like that?”
“In the last year or so, but it was this year’s ren faire that really kind of hammered it home for me.” Elizabeth took a sip of her coffee and glanced out the window. It was a gloomy day and she wondered if the heavy clouds meant snow. “Like now,” she murmured, her gaze remaining on the window. “It would be so nice to not have to worry about going to the office if it snows this week, you know? To be able to enjoy the weather, instead of putting in sixty or more hours to snag a client.”
“Ouch, I still can’t believe you work sixty hours a week. Is that every week?”
“As a rule, yes, though I’ve put in seventy or eighty during crunch times. I slacked off a little bit last week to see you. When I get home after this, I’ll probably work some more from there.” Elizabeth finally turned back to Annabelle and took a sharp breath in through her nose. “It used to give me a thrill, pushing myself like that, driving myself to prove to everyone that I could be as much as a tiger in the boardroom as they could. You know? I wanted to do it for me and for the women I knew would inevitably come after me, also hoping for their chance to play with the big boys.”
Annabelle reached across the table to run her fingers over Elizabeth’s. “But now it’s just exhausting?”
Elizabeth nodded and lifted her hand to meet Annabelle’s, to intertwine their fingers. Seeing their joined hands filled her with contentment. She wished they could do this every day.
“Yeah. I’ve certainly done what I set out to do, so now it’s like there’s nothing else to prove or accomplish. And even if there was, I don’t know if I care now. I have this incredibly capable junior analyst who could take my place in a heartbeat. All I’d have to do is step aside and put in the recommendation. But, while that’s all well and good, I just don’t know what I want to do with myself.”
“Ah, so that’s the problem,” Annabelle said.
“It is,” Elizabeth affirmed. She released Annabelle’s hand as the waiter set the check on the table. “This, however, is not your problem.”
She handed the check back to the waiter almost immediately, along with her credit card. Doing so reminded her of the financial freedom she took for granted. Surely, she’d lose that if she left her job. What would she gain, then?
When she turned back to Annabelle, she could see that she was deep in thought. “I don’t know exactly what the answer is, but I guess you have to figure out the right question, first, like you said.”
“Which is what?” Elizabeth asked.
A smile lifted one side of Annabelle’s mouth. “What would make you happy?”
Elizabeth nodded and she was still nodding when the waiter returned with the receipt for her to sign. Still pursing her lips in thought as she and Annabelle made their way to the door. Still musing when she heard Annabelle say, “What are you doing here?”
“Me? Annabelle, what are you doing here?”
Elizabeth looked up and blinked, doing a double-take.
“I’m just on a date,” Annabelle said, pressing closer to Elizabeth. “I suppose I have to introduce you, now. This is Elizabeth. Elizabeth, this is my –”
“George. Hi.” Elizabeth managed to stop blinking and smiled instead. “How are you?”
“I’m...” George’s gaze moved between them, confusion wrinkling her brow. “I’m good, though wondering how the heck you know Annabelle.”
Annabelle turned to Elizabeth. “You know Georgina?”
“Yeah, she’s my junior analyst at work, the one I mentioned. She’s a phenomenal woman. How do you...” Elizabeth compressed her lips as she looked at the girls’ faces. The resemblance was much more noticeable here, with them side by side. Even though Annabelle’s hair remained black, those dark brown roots were the same color as George’s, their faces also a similar shape, their eyes the same color.
It was, Elizabeth realized, the worst possible thing that could have happened to her. Not only was she dating a woman she found irresistible. She was dating a woman whose sister was her subordinate at work.
Why did it have to be going in the right direction, only to turn out to be so damn complicated?