CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The next morning, Talia still hasn’t texted me.

Are you alive?? Is Rose a serial killer?? I text her, trying to ignore the sick feeling in my stomach.

Hi, I am alive! she replies within a minute. I had a really good time. I got home late for dinner and then I was so tired I just zoned out and fell asleep!

I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling for a moment, then pick up my phone. Do you wanna hang out later and tell me about it? I know it’s going to hurt to hear about Rose, but at the same time, it would be weird if I didn’t ask. And maybe this is a fake-it-till-you-make-it situation. The more I pretend like I’m fine and don’t have a crush on my best friend, the more it will become true, and then everything can go back to feeling totally normal.

Yep. That’s definitely how it works.

My phone pings. I would love to! Me and Kev were gonna meet up at World Pizza this afternoon, do you wanna join?

Sure!

Huh. Talia made plans without me. The day after her date. I don’t know why this feels so weird. We all hang out together a lot, and of course my friends can hang out without me. I mean, Talia and I hang out just the two of us all the time.

But this is different. This is Talia’s second date ever. And I’m her best friend. Shouldn’t I be the first person she tells, no matter how tired she is? Shouldn’t we already have plans, with Kev joining us, instead of the other way around?

I feel weird that I even feel weird about it, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. Maybe this is what happens when you date. I’ve heard about people getting sucked into their relationships. I guess I never considered the possibility that it would happen with me and Talia.

Tears well up and I blink them back. I’m overreacting. I probably wouldn’t even be this upset if I didn’t have a crush on Talia. If I was a better friend, I’d be able to just be happy for her. If I was better at this whole romance thing, I’d be able to pick people who are actually attainable. I’d be able to turn off my feelings. I’d be able to shake off sixth grade and live in the present. I just turned sixteen. I’m almost a junior. It’s stupid to still feel this way because of something that happened years ago.

I take deep breaths until my heart rate feels normal and the tears are gone, and then I get out of bed, grab my stuff and a protein bar, and head to practice.

“Hey, do you know if someone on the team is having a party this summer?” I ask Mariah as we warm up. Last summer was legendary; one of the graduating seniors was super rich and a Leo and invited everyone and their friends to her house for a pool party.

“Victoria’s hosting it,” she says, naming one of the varsity point guards. Victoria is super friendly, a little shorter than me, with curly red hair. “She’s at one of the fancy camps this summer, but a friend of hers told everyone a few practices ago.”

I frown. “I don’t remember that.”

“It was the day you were late,” Mariah says, sinking a three-pointer.

“Oh.” I press my fingers into the pebbly skin of the ball.

“It’s in a few weeks, on August fifth, I think,” Mariah says. “And we can bring anyone we want. She lives in that rich neighborhood down in Madison Valley, so it’s gonna be lit.”

“Sweet.” I shake off the reminder of my mess-up last week and walk to center court. Mariah follows me, and so does Sherika, and slowly the other players join up for our morning huddle, still talking and laughing, dribbling or fidgeting with their basketballs.

I clap my hands. “OK, y’all!”

One of the varsity players glances at me, but the chatter doesn’t die down.

“Let’s go, Salmon!” Sherika yells, and it works like a charm. Most of the girls clap out the rhythm that follows the chant, and the group quiets down. She glances at me.

“Let’s do some footwork drills,” I say, and we all move, straggling into position at one end of the court. It’s not as orderly as usual, but at least they’re listening.

On my bus ride home, I scroll through basketball highlight videos. As I watch, I analyze the plays, think about what I would have done differently, and fantasize about my future.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life after high school, but I’m going to be a junior soon, so I’ll have to start thinking seriously about it. The truth is, if I could do anything, it would be basketball. I’d get recruited for a top-tier college, with a full-ride scholarship, then get drafted into the WNBA after I graduate. But that’s a one-in-a-million shot. I’d have to be really good, better than I am now, and my school would have to be the type that attracts college scouts. We get a few, and we do all right usually, but we’re not known for our basketball program.

Sherika’s face pops into my head—and that comment she made at our first summer practice: “You should be a coach.”

I have to admit, it felt good when she said that, and not just because I had a crush on her. I’ve been really enjoying leading our practices, even if the vibes were a little off today. Actually, they’ve been a little off ever since I was late. I know it was a mistake, that it could have happened to anyone, but still. I’m the keyholder, and I don’t want to let my team down.

When I get home, I feel so tired, and it doesn’t just feel like post-practice tired. That’s a good tired. This feels heavier. I pound back a smoothie in the kitchen, then head upstairs to pick my outfit for my hang with Talia and Kev before I shower and head out again. Talia may not like me back, or even know that I have a crush, but I can still look as cute as possible. I know it’ll help me feel a little better.

I’m ready and waiting on the couch when my doorbell rings an hour later. I chose a sunset orange crop top and a high-waisted denim skirt with pearly buttons down the front, plus my sandals. A cute summer look, accessorized with a tie-dye fanny pack and a jolt of anxiety in my chest. Good times!

I swing open the door, and Talia’s there smiling at me. She looks head-to-toe amazing in a teal sundress and her curls up in a bun with a few strands framing her face. We hug, and I breathe in the scent of her lotion—it’s citrusy. Normally she uses lavender-scented products, but this is new. Another new thing.

“I’m ready for pizza and details!” I say, extra excited to cover up how much smelling her just threw me off.

“Well, perfect, because I’m ready to tell you!” Talia claps her hands. I lock the door and we head down the street.

She’s walking bouncier than usual, and I can’t help grinning. “I’m guessing it went well?”

She holds a finger up to her lips. “I’ll tell you everything once we’re there.”

“OK, fine.” I pretend to pout, and she laughs.

About ten minutes later, we link up with Kev and head down Jackson Street toward the International District.

“How’s Parker?” I ask. “Did their chest heal OK?”

“They’re good,” he says. “They had some complications for a minute. One of their nipples got infected.” He pitches his voice lower when he says the last sentence, but an older gentleman passing us still gives us a look.

“Oh my god.” I put a hand up to my mouth. Talia grimaces.

“Yeah, it was not great.” Kev hits the button for the crosswalk signal, and a minute later we’re crossing the intersection and heading down the hill toward Rainier Avenue. “They were fine; they didn’t get sick or anything. It was just gross.”

“Did it heal?” Talia asks.

“I mean . . .” Kev glances at us, smirking. “Kind of.”

“OK, Mr. Mysterious.” Talia rolls her eyes.

“Are you sure you wanna know?” he asks.

“Um, yeah!” we chorus and look at each other, laughing. This is the Talia and Hayley I’m used to. I’m starting to feel more at ease, less distracted by the way my hand keeps brushing against hers as we walk three across down the sidewalk.

“Well . . .” He pauses for dramatic effect, striding in front of us, then whirls around. “It fell off!”

“What?!”

“They straight up have a little crater where their nip used to be,” he says, falling back into step beside us. “Apparently it happens sometimes. It’s not a big deal. They healed up just fine otherwise, and they said it doesn’t bother them, so . . .”

“Wow,” I say.

“I’ve been calling them Ol’ No-Nip,” he says, grinning, and we burst out laughing.

When we walk into World Pizza and the smell of cheese and bread hits my nostrils, I suddenly realize how hungry I am. The pizzas in the display case look fresh, and we each order slices in turn. I get a pepperoni—made with Field Roast meatless sausage, since all of their pizzas are vegetarian—a cheese with peach slices on top, and a plain cheese.

We slip into an empty booth, Talia on one side, Kev and I on the other.

Kev and I exchange glances, and we fix Talia with a stare.

“OK,” he says. “Tea. Now.”

She giggles. “OK, so. We met at Cal Anderson. They brought the snacks, and I brought the drinks. We set up on that hill at the north end, by the field where people bring their dogs.”

We nod. I can see it in my mind. Rose and Talia, smiling at each other while puppies frolic around them. I take a big bite of my pizza and focus on what she’s saying.

“They brought a tarot deck, and they gave me a reading about my past, present, and future.” She wiggles her fingers like she’s doing magic.

“Oh, so they’re into witchy shit?” Kev asks.

“Yeah, they read tarot, and they’re studying astrology, too,” Talia says.

Rose sounds really cool. Definitely cooler than me. I can’t even name a single tarot card, let alone tell Talia her future.

“So what did the cards say?” Kev asks.

“I can’t remember,” Talia says, blushing. “I kind of . . . was distracted. By how cute they were.”

“Yes!” Kev fist pumps, glancing at me. I force a grin, like I’m loving this as much as he is.

Talia keeps talking, telling us about the snacks they brought, what they talked about together, how they got to play with a few of the dogs, and how Rose walked her home. Then she pauses.

“We didn’t kiss,” she says. “I think I wanted to? I’m not sure. But I do like them, and we’ve been texting about making plans again. Actually, Hayley, I was going to ask you about that.”

“Me?” I hate how relieved I feel that Talia and Rose didn’t kiss.

“Yeah, they have a friend who’s single and seems really cool, so we were thinking of doing a double date?”

“Sure!” I say before I can stop myself.

“Hey, what about me?” Kev pokes out his lower lip.

“Their friends aren’t into guys,” Talia says.

Kev sighs dramatically. “It’s all good. I guess me and Jacob still have our bromance.”

I laugh along with them, but my head is spinning. Why did I just say yes? Couldn’t my brain just take one single second to think about something before jumping in?

“Congrats,” Kev says, turning to me with a hand lifted. “The strategy’s almost complete.” I stare at his hand for a second. He wiggles his fingers. “Don’t leave me hanging.”

I high-five him and look at Talia. She’s smiling. Maybe this will be fine. Maybe it’ll be fun. A double date. Just like how I imagined.

Great.