CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

I wake up before my alarm the next morning and sit up, breathing in the fresh summer air drifting through my open window. My phone chirps, and I reach for it to see a text from Talia: Have a great time at practice today!

I grin at the screen and text back a line of smiling emojis with hearts dancing around their heads. It’s fitting that it’s the first emoji to pop up when I type the phrase “in love” into the text box.

The group chat lights up. Kev wants us all to meet at World Pizza later. I thumbs-up the suggestion and toss my phone into my bag, along with my basketball shoes and a water bottle. A pair of shorts and a tank top from the floor pass the sniff test, and then I’m thumping down the stairs to grab some breakfast before I head out.

Ella’s already there, gulping down cereal before she heads out, too. “You look all . . .” She waves a hand at me. “Sparkly.”

“Hayley and Talia are dating!” I turn and see Sam grinning at us. “They made up yesterday and kissed and everything!”

“Sam!” I shriek. “It’s my news!”

“Sorry,” they say, shrugging, in a tone that suggests they are very much not sorry at all. “I overheard you telling Mom and Dad about it when you got home.”

I grab a handful of blueberry snack bars from the cabinet, glaring at them. “You mean you were eavesdropping. Again.”

They shrug, grinning.

I roll my eyes. “Whatever. Yes, we’re dating,” I say.

Ella slow claps. “Finally.”

“Ugh!” I stuff the snacks into my bag. “You two are so annoying.” I rush past them toward the door.

“We love you,” Sam calls after me.

“Love you, too,” I shout, waving my hand above my head, and then I’m out the door.

I have plenty of time before the bus to get my headphones on and eat a snack bar, savoring each bite while Janelle Monáe pumps me up. My whole body is fizzing like the LaCroix I drank last night. I feel like I’m flying, like the world is sharper and more beautiful than I’ve ever seen it. When the bus comes rattling down the street, it looks like a chariot, here to take me into the next chapter of my life. My life with a girlfriend. My life, more importantly, with Talia as my girlfriend.

I’m right on time to practice, jogging up as Jaya unlocks the gym door for the team.

Sherika holds up her hand for a high five. “You look wide awake.”

I meet her hand with mine for a satisfying smack. It feels like Sherika’s become a friend over the course of the summer, and I love that for us. I’ve never befriended a former crush before. “I’m ready to dunk on y’all.”

Jaya snorts, and for a minute I think I’ve gotten on her nerves, but then she swings the door open. “All right, sophomore, show me what you got.”

“I’m a junior, excuse you,” I say as I dart past.

They cackle behind me, our shoes squeaking on the gym floor. On the sideline, I change out of my sandals and into my socks and sneakers as they unlock the gear room and wheel out the bin of basketballs. Sherika tosses one to me and I turn, square up, and jump. The ball leaves my hands and arcs through the air, passing through the basket with a clean swish. A perfect three-pointer. Jaya whistles and Sherika whoops.

I pass the ball to Sherika. “It’ll be good to have you on varsity this year,” she says.

“What?” I laugh.

She shrugs. “You heard me. You better bring your A game to tryouts in September.”

“Challenge accepted,” I say. We smile at each other, and then she turns and sinks a three-pointer of her own.

My teammates trickle in, and maybe it’s just the girlfriend high I’m riding, but the vibes are immaculate. I get a couple fist-bumps and nods, no one gives me the side eye, and Sherika puts Beyoncé’s new album on.

“Morning,” Mariah says as she steps up beside me at the free-throw line. We shoot at the same time and her ball makes the basket, knocking mine away. “Got ’em!” she crows as I race after my ball.

“Guess what?” I say when I get back. “What?”

I smirk. “Guess.”

She eyes me. “OK, what’s different . . . you’re peppy as fuck, for one.” She scans me. “You look like you’re about to vibrate out your skin—and you’re grinning like a fool.” Her eyes go wide. “Oh my god. Your bestie.”

“Talia’s my girlfriend!” I screech.

She screams, and the whole gym goes silent.

We look around. Everyone is frozen in place, staring at us, and then one of the seniors starts laughing and clapping. One by one, all the players join in, even a few players who are just coming in and don’t seem to understand why we’re clapping but do it anyway.

I take a bow, and the clapping dies down as people go back to their warm-ups.

Mariah high-fives me. “That’s my girl.”

I grin. “I’m back in the game, baby.”

As I walk up to Talia’s house that afternoon, my stomach starts flipping out again. It’s not exactly anxiety, but it’s not the same fizzing from this morning. This is the first time I’m seeing Talia in person since last night, and even though we texted back and forth all day, part of me feels like this isn’t quite real. Do I kiss her when I see her? Hug her? How do girlfriends greet each other usually? How will Talia and I decide to greet each other?

The door opens as I come up the front walk, and I stop short, a smile taking over my whole face. Talia stands there with a smile to match mine.

She lifts a hand, biting her lower lip. “Hi.”

I wave back. “Hey.”

We stand there, just grinning at each other.

“So, um . . . do you wanna come in?” she asks, and I nod vigorously.

I follow her upstairs and scan her room while she shuffles through the papers on her desk, looking for her phone. It’s the first time I’ve been in here since before we started dating. When was the last time I was here? My eyes land on a watermelon-print blouse of hers hanging over the edge of her laundry basket.

Oh wow. The last time I was here was the day of her first date with Rose. The day I helped her pick out her outfit and she made that comment about me being in her bed, and—

The butterflies are flapping wildly inside my chest. Her bed’s right there. It’s neatly made, the purple comforter smoothed out, the pillows in their lavender and cream and galaxy-pattern pillowcases all plumped up and sitting against the headboard. Her stuffed elephant sits in the center.

“Hayley?” I look over. Talia’s standing there holding her phone, looking at me with a frown. “You OK?”

“Totally.” I nod quickly. “Just spacing out.” Thinking about her bed and lying on it and—and I’m not going to tell her that. We aren’t there yet. I’m not there.

She smiles. “I almost forgot something.”

“What?”

“I wanted to kiss you hello.”

“Oh!”

“You’re blushing,” she says. I put my hands to my cheeks. They’re definitely warm.

“It’s a sunburn,” I say. “A special kind. It only appears when my girlfriend says cute things to me.”

She laughs. “You’re adorable.”

We stare at each other and step closer at the same time, her hands going to my face, mine on her waist—and then her lips are on mine. It’s easier every time we kiss. I feel like I’m getting the hang of it now, and our mouths fit together perfectly. My arms move to pull her closer.

We kiss for a long time, until my head goes fuzzy, and then she steps back. Her face is flushed all the way down her neck, her eyes sparkling. I wonder if I look the same way.

“That was.” I clear my throat. “Good. Yeah.”

She nods. “Agreed. Very good. We should do that again. You know. For science.”

“Mm-hmm.” I nod and reach for her.

We kiss again, and my body is more than fizzing; it’s all shooting stars and comets, lost in the universe of her. The skin of her bare upper arms, the back of her neck, her face as I cup it with both my hands, is all so unbelievably soft. She sighs into my mouth, and it’s the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.

She startles, pulling back.

“What’s up?” I ask through my kiss-drunk haze.

“Sorry. Your phone dinged. It startled me.” She grins. “You didn’t hear it?”

“Not at all.” I giggle and pull my phone out of my pocket, then hold it up to show her the message from Kevin in the group chat: HURRY UP WE’RE HUNGRYYYYYYY!!!!!!

“We better get going,” she says. She reaches out a hand, and I reach out mine, and then we’re holding hands.

Just like that.

We’re really here. We’re really dating.

“Shall we?” she asks, cheeks pink.

We stay hand in hand all the way out of the house and down her front stairs. I can’t stop thinking about kissing her and how much I want to do it again. When I first realized my crush, I was so worried about us maybe breaking up some day that I never stopped to think how amazing things could be. But now, with our fingers entwined, my fear is a distant echo. I know that no matter what happens, no matter how hard things get, our friendship can survive it.

The afternoon is humid, and after a while my hand is sweaty in her grasp. She squeezes once and lets go.

“Too . . .” She wiggles her fingers and I laugh. We both wipe our palms on our clothes and smile at each other.

“I never thought about what it would be like to hold hands in the summer,” I say.

She furrows her brow, thinking for a second. “What about this?” she asks and then links her pinky through mine.

Instant butterflies. “That’s good.”

We walk like that the whole rest of the way, sometimes talking, sometimes quiet, sometimes looking at the people and buildings and cars as they pass, sometimes looking at each other. We giggle a lot, and it’s hard to keep eye contact for long because all I can think about is how cute she is.

Our friends are already there in the back booth when we arrive. They look up guiltily from their half-eaten slices.

“We couldn’t wait,” Kev says. “I was getting hangry,” Jacob says. “It’s not good when he’s hangry,” Bri adds.

Karina takes another bite, waving at us.

I snort and shake my head. “It’s fine.” I turn to Talia. “What do you want?”

“I can get my own,” she says.

“It’s OK. I want to,” I say.

She smiles. “The cheese with peach slices on it?” She stims, lifting her shoulders up and down, and it’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

I bite my lower lip. “You got it.”

“Oh my god.” We look back at them and Jacob is staring at us, hands clasped together, eyes gleaming. “You’re dating!”

“You knew that,” I say. Last night, after me and Talia’s picnic, they all came back to meet us, and for a full five minutes we all screamed in excitement about it until we jumped in the water to celebrate.

“Still.” He waves a hand. “Just watching you—you’re ordering for her! You’re holding pinkies. I can’t even.”

Kev grins. “We’re really happy for you.”

I glance at Bri, and they just smile at me.

Karina kisses them on the cheek. “I guess we’re not the cutest couple in the group anymore,” she says.

“Whatever!” Talia waves a hand. “You were the only couple before.”

“And now we have competition.” Karina puts her fists up.

“Pizza first.” I point at her. “Fighting later.”

She puts up her hands, granting a truce, and I make my way up to the counter. As I wait for our slices to warm, I watch the group shuffle to make room for us. Jacob pulls over one of the extra chairs to sit at the end, and Kev slides to the inside of the booth so Talia can sit. There’s an open space on her other side.

For me.

We all hang out there until it’s late. There’s a small rush of people from the end of a sports game at one of the stadiums downtown, but I hardly notice the noise. I’m too focused on my friends’ glowing faces, the warmth and weight of Talia’s hand on my leg, watching her eat pizza beside me. After a while, the shop empties out again, and one of the cooks swings by to let us know they’re starting to close down.

We finish the last of our slices, dump our dishes in the bin, and wander out into the night. We decide to go back to Kev’s house to hang out, so we cut over to Jackson Street for the walk up to the Central District. As we walk, the group unbunches and forms pairs: Bri and Karina leading the way, Kev and Jacob chattering about a new video game they’re both excited about, and me and Talia bringing up the rear.

“I have a question for you,” she says. I tilt my head. “You know the summer love strategy?”

“I’m not sure . . .” I put a hand up to my chin and make a serious face. “Can you remind me?”

She swats my shoulder lightly and I dodge away, giggling. We come back together, pinkies linking as we pass under the streetlight behind our friends.

“I was thinking,” she says. “We should do it over again, but this time as dates. I know there aren’t any concerts or parties coming up, but . . . do you want to go swimming with me tomorrow? I heard a lot of queer people swim at Madison Park Beach over here.”

I look over at her, my chest swelling like I’m about to float off the ground and away into the stars. “Talia. That’s so sweet.”

“Well.” She shrugs and ducks her head. “I just . . . I really liked the strategy because it was something we were doing together, and I want to do it again, but this time the way it should have been: as our romantic summer dates.”

My eyes are stinging now, and I stop, pulling her to me. We hold each other tight in the darkness under the overpass. “I would love to.”

“Hey!” We look up ahead. In the glow of the streetlight, our friends are waving. “Get a room!”

“You get a room!” I yell back.

“Well, we’d be in mine already if you weren’t stopping to make out every ten seconds!” Kev shouts.

“We are not!” Talia calls as we race up toward them.

Our friends turn and we chase them all the way up the street, laughing until none of us can breathe and we have to slow down. I’m sweating, and my legs are burning, but I’m OK with that.

Talia’s pinky slips around mine as we all stand panting at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to turn, and when I look at her, she’s smiling at me. I get that fizzing, sparkling, shooting star feeling again, but I’m not out in space this time. I’m standing on the ground, basking in the glow. So this is what it feels like when the person you have a crush on likes you back.

I’m so glad it’s Talia.