Chapter Nine

Eun ignored how much her feet hurt in new pumps as she stood next to the long white altar covered with flowers. The simple walnut wood box containing her father’s ashes was centered amid bouquets of white mums and lilies. Her Uncle Max had blown into town the night before, and Eun had successfully hidden out from him until this afternoon. Now she was the subject of her uncle’s most disapproving gaze as he sat in the first row of chairs. Her father’s cousins flanked him, and Eun sensed their hard stares.

“I’m so sorry for your loss.” A woman Eun didn’t know clasped her hand and expressed her condolences. Eun nodded and smiled at the woman. She used her best neutral courtroom face and avoided making eye contact with her.

The spicy scent of Armani Code filled her nose, and she looked up and into Morgan’s eyes. Eun reached out and clasped Morgan’s hand. She held tight. The sensation of her warm skin and solid touch grounded Eun. “Thank you so much for coming.”

Morgan leaned closer. “I’m sorry I haven’t called. I figured you’d be busy.”

“A bit.” Eun inclined her head toward her uncle. She leaned closer to Morgan and spoke into her ear. “Would you come to the service tomorrow? And would you mind sitting next to me?”

Morgan squeezed her hand. “I’ll be there. You want me to bring the rest of the crew as buffers? My family is awesome at funeral blocks.”

Eun covered her mouth with her hand to keep her smile from showing. “Any help would be appreciated. My mom’s planning on coming too.”

Morgan squeezed her hand once more and rubbed her thumb over the back of Eun’s hand. “We’ll be there.”

She walked away from Eun and moved to one of the chairs in the rows at the back of the room. Eun’s gaze was drawn to her wide shoulders. Dapper in a navy-blue suit over a light-blue button-down with blue-and-yellow-striped bowtie, Morgan’s presence was a balm for Eun’s tattered soul. Of all the times to meet a sweet butch. Too bad.

Eun sighed and glanced at the clock. Thirty more minutes. I can do this. Need to slip out before Uncle Max can corner me. Ginny Burns stopped by the altar and placed her hand on the box lid for a moment while she held her cross in her other hand. After a moment, she walked to Eun and pulled her into an embrace. “How are you holding up, dear?”

Eun extracted herself from Ginny’s arms. “I’m okay. Thank you.”

Ginny patted her arm. “My husband, Adam, and I will be there tomorrow. Would it be okay if he said a few words? He and your father were so close.”

Eun bit her lip. “I—uh. I… Sure.”

“Your father was wonderful man.” Ginny smiled at her and pulled her into a second uncomfortable hug. Eun closed her eyes and breathed deep, trying to resist the urge to shove the woman off her. Wonderful as long as you weren’t queer.

Ginny finally released her and moved along the aisle to the seats for the mourners. Eun caught Ginny’s glare and followed it to Morgan. Another random person approached Eun to express their sorrow over her father’s death. The afternoon wore on, and Eun tried to focus on the mourners, but her gaze continually drifted to Morgan. Her solid presence and kind expression a magnet for Eun’s attention.

*

After struggling through two attempts to put on pantyhose and ripping both pairs, Eun gave up, not caring if anyone disapproved of her bare legs. She wore her hair loose and stuffed as many tissues into her purse as she could. The drive to McKnight’s was short, and she parked in the spot reserved for family members. She spotted her mom’s fluorescent-green VW Bug with its eyelash inserts around the headlights and rolled her eyes.

Eun rested her forehead on the steering wheel a moment and clutched the car keys in her hand. The alarm on her phone sounded. She thumbed it off with a sigh. Eun exited the car and strode to the funeral home. The air inside was cool and the scent of lilies filled the air. Eun grimaced at the smell.

“Eun?”

Cicely Park surrounded Eun in a hug. Eun stiffened in her mother’s embrace, still not used to the full body hugs her mother insisted on.

“Mom.” She patted her mother’s back awkwardly.

Her mother stepped back and took hold of Eun’s hands. “I’m sorry, dear. This must be so hard.”

Eun bit her lip. “Yes.”

They made their way to the room set up for the service. The minister the funeral home had recommended greeted them. His shiny bald head and oily smile made Eun’s skin crawl. She stifled her urge to run from the room.

“Miss Park? So nice to meet you. I’m Reverend Atwell. I’m so sorry about your father.” He grasped her hand in a limp handshake.

Eun withdrew her hand from his fleshy sweaty grip, unable to respond. Most people would assume she was overcome with sadness instead of flummoxed about what she was supposed to say.

Reverend Atwell waved toward the first row of chairs. “This is reserved for the family.” Eun and her mother sat down. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Eun leaned back into the straight-backed chair.

“I’m not sure I should sit up here.” Her mother glanced at the door. “You know how Uncle Max feels about me.” She smoothed a hand over her dress.

“It’s fine, Mom. Sit where you’re comfortable.” Eun had given up counting on her mother to provide any kind of support. Her mother took a spot at the rear of the room as close to the exit as she could get. Eun stared at the walnut box containing her father’s ashes. Simple and unadorned, a fitting urn for a man who eschewed ornamentation. Eun closed her eyes and folded her hands. Maybe folks would think she was praying and leave her alone. Morgan’s cologne filled her senses and she opened her eyes. Morgan stood in front of her, dressed in a crisp black suit.

“Hey.” Morgan tilted her head toward the row of chairs. “Where do you want us to sit?”

Eun raised her head and blinked. Officer Wright in her dark-blue full dress police uniform, flanked by a young man who looked so much like Morgan he had to be her brother, and Morgan’s parents stood to the left of Morgan. “Wow. You all came. Thank you. So much, thank you.” She waved to the seats around her. “Please, will you sit here?”

Morgan sat on Eun’s right and Miesha sat down on her left. Her brother held his hand out and Eun clasped it. “I’m Neil, and I’m so sorry for your loss.” He moved along the row of chairs and sat on the other side of Morgan.

Morgan’s parents stepped in front of Eun.

“I’m Charles, and this is Margaret. We’re so sorry about your father.” They moved along the row and sat down next to Miesha.

Surrounded by Morgan and her family, Eun relaxed. Her eyes welled. This, this is what it would be to have a family who loved and accepted you. She closed her eyes and let the tears roll down her cheeks. Morgan pressed a tissue in her palm, and Eun closed her fingers around her warm hand.

A sharp suck of teeth made her open her eyes. Uncle Max towered over her. A grim expression shadowed his face.

“Eun.” He glanced down the row and sniffed before he raised his chin and looked down his nose. “Who are these people?” He glared at Morgan and her family.

Eun pressed her feet to the floor and took a deep breath. “Friends.” She tilted her head to the left and held her uncle’s blistering glare, grateful for every hour she had ever spent deposing hostile witnesses.

Her uncle turned on his heel and made a show of plopping down two chairs away from Morgan’s parents. He straightened the seam of his bespoke suit before he crossed his legs and settled his seething glare on Eun. Morgan squeezed Eun’s hand, and she shifted her gaze away from her uncle.

Ginny Burns arrived with her husband Adam in tow. He was thin and angular, his face dominated by a blade-sharp nose. A huge Bible was tucked under his arm.

“How you are holding up, darling?” Ginny’s syrupy sweet voice coated Eun’s ears. “I wish you’d have let us have a repast at the church. It’s the least we could’ve done.”

“It was a kind offer, but we’ve set things up with Ohana’s to cater it here.”

Ginny looked reverently at her husband. “Adam’s all set as soon as the pastor asks for people to speak.” She patted his arm.

Adam Burns clutched his Bible with both hands. “The lord is on me today, Miss Park. I am ready.”

Eun chewed her lip and then summoned the bland smile she used on vendors whose products she wasn’t buying. A few more people filed past them and filled the seats behind them.

The funeral director came in, surveyed the small gathering, and walked to Eun’s place. “Do you want to wait for any more mourners, Miss Park?”

“No. It’s fine. I think we should get started.”

The funeral director waved at Reverend Atwell, and he made his way to the front of the room.

Eun tried to focus on his words, but she was distracted by the sense of her uncle’s hard stare. The hairs on the back of her neck stayed in a constant state of arousal. She fidgeted with the tissue Morgan had handed her. Her aunt’s practiced wailing at key points in the service grated on Eun’s nerves. Finally, the reverend finished his part of the service. He smiled benignly at the crowd of mourners. “I have been informed Pastor Adam Burns has a few words to say.”

Eun shifted her attention from the multitoned carpet to the altar. Adam Burns strode to the front of the room with his Bible clenched in his hand.

*

At first Morgan listened to Pastor Burns’s words, but she lost focus as soon as he started in on “getting right with the lord” and what amounted to a sermon praising Eun’s father’s unflagging work against “perversion” complete with an altar call instead of a eulogy.

She studied Eun from under her lashes. Her face was pale, and her eyes were tightly closed. Eun’s hands were fisted and rested on the tops of her thighs, her jaw set, the only signs of the controlled fury radiating from her body. Morgan shifted her gaze to her sister. Her arms were crossed over her chest, and she glanced at her watch twice in the few minutes Morgan observed her. Her mother and father sat holding hands. An occasional grimace crossed her mother’s face.

Pride filled Morgan as she looked down the row. She had asked her family for help, and they had all agreed without any reservations. Eun was so alone. Morgan couldn’t imagine how it would be to not have her family have her back. Neil nudged her foot with his shoe.

The pastor was ramping up now, his Bible clutched in one hand and the other raised to the ceiling. Ginny Burns swayed in her seat with her arms raised and a few “amens” were murmured from the others in the room. The pastor had been preaching for twenty minutes and showed no sign of slowing down.

The muscle in Eun’s jaw flexed, and she was curling and uncurling her hands into fists. A soft groan reached Morgan’s ears. How to stop it? It’s too much now. Morgan turned and caught the eye of the funeral director. She subtly tapped her watch and inclined her head toward the pastor. The funeral director nodded his head in acknowledgment before he leaned close and spoke in Reverend Atwell’s ear.

As Pastor Burns opened his mouth to take a breath, Reverend Atwell stepped up next to him and clapped him on the shoulder. “Thank you, brother. Let us all bow our heads for a final prayer.”

Morgan covered her mouth to hide her smile at the startled expression on Pastor Burns’s face. Eun’s hands were knotted together in her lap. Morgan had been bold when she first arrived, using the cover of passing Eun a tissue to hold her hand. A wave of guilt washed over her. Eun was burying her father, and Morgan was thinking about how to get to hold her hand again. What is wrong with me? She pressed her lips into a thin line. The service wrapped up, and Eun relaxed her hands.

“The repast is being served on the lower level. Take the stairs to the left as you exit.” The funeral director waved his hands at the back door of the room.

Eun stood up so fast her chair rocked, and Morgan settled it before she stood.

Eun turned to Morgan and whispered. “A few words? What the hell? That was ridiculous. All that crap about perversion. And why the hell did he have to bring up all of my dad’s anti-equality work?” Her eyes flashed with rage. Tension and anger rolled off Eun in waves.

Morgan laid her hand on Eun’s arm. “I’m sorry.”

Eun spoke through her teeth. “The only one who should be sorry is that man. If I’d wanted to go to church, I would have.”

Eun’s Uncle Max approached them, bearing down on Eun, his face twisted in anger.

“Eun. What is this ‘the repast is in the basement’? What kind of respect is that for your father? I knew I should haven’t let you take care of things.”

Eun spun around and faced her uncle. “But then you’d have had to pay for it, and we all know how that would go, don’t we?” Her voice dripped acid.

Her uncle lifted his chin. “Always back to money. You’re an ungrateful child. Your father scrimped to put you through college and law school.”

“I had a full scholarship for college, uncle, and yes, he did help with law school. And I paid him back. Every single dime. Not that it’s any of your business.” Eun’s voice dropped to a lethal tone, and her mouth pulled into a snarl. “Not sure why you think you have any right to speak to me like this.” Her voice was low and deadly. Morgan tightened her fingers on Eun’s arm.

Eun pulled free, flashing her a sharp glance. She stepped to her uncle, toe to toe. She loomed over him, taking advantage of her height in three-inch pumps. “You want to play it this way? Let’s go.”

Eun’s uncle lifted his chin. “You’re a terrible daughter. No wonder he was ashamed of you.” An arch expression came over his face. “Wait till you find out about his will. You get nothing. Not one thing. He knew you’d use it for your disgusting lifestyle. It all goes to the church. And the house comes to me.” His glare settled on Morgan before he shifted it back to Eun. “Don’t think I don’t know about you. You are going to hell, Eun. You and the rest of the alphabet soup of perverts.” Eun’s cousins had gathered around her uncle. They observed the conversation, their eyes shifting between Eun and her uncle as they shuffled their feet.

Morgan stepped between the two of them. “I don’t think this is the time or place for this. And I don’t care what you say about me, but you need to leave Eun alone.”

Eun clasped Morgan’s shoulders and moved her out of the way. “Thank you, but I don’t need anyone to protect me.” She shoved past her uncle, shoulder checking him, before she snatched her father’s box of ashes off the table and tucked it under her arm. “Uncle, I’d say it’s been nice to see you, but my father insisted on honesty.” She nodded at her aunt and left without saying another word. Her strides were purposeful, and she walked out of the door leading to the foyer and the exit.

Morgan pursed her lips and crossed her arms. Miesha came and stood next to her.

Neil stepped up next to Morgan. “Problem?”

“None.” Morgan turned her back on Eun’s uncle and walked away from the group, trusting her siblings to block Max’s path if he tried to follow Eun. She trotted in the direction Eun had taken, hoping to catch her before she left the building.

The hallway was vacant. Morgan shoved the door to the parking lot open. The slam of a car door drew her attention. The headlights on Eun’s car lit up. Morgan sprinted across the parking lot. Eun pulled out of her parking space. Morgan bolted in front of the car and waved her arms. Eun swerved and stopped.

The tinted window rolled down. “What the hell is wrong with you? What do you want?” Eun shouted.

Morgan stepped closer. Eun’s face was streaked with tears. “Nothing. I wanted to talk to you. To ask if you were okay, but that’s a stupid question.” She rested her hand on the doorframe.

Eun leaned her head against the steering wheel. “I don’t have time for this. You.”

Morgan lifted her hand, wanting to touch Eun’s shoulder, to soothe her, before she let it fall away.

Eun raised her head and looked straight ahead, avoiding Morgan’s gaze. “Thank you for coming, Morgan. And please thank your family for me. I’m sorry. I have to go.” She rolled up the window. Morgan yanked her hands away to keep from getting pinched as the dark glass slid into place, blocking Eun from Morgan’s view. Eun drove the car around her and sped off, gravel flying as she left the lot.

Morgan shoved her hands in her pockets. What’d I expect? She’s like a feral cat, not trusting anyone. After witnessing the display between Eun and her uncle, and the talk of money, Morgan understood more than ever Eun’s estrangement from her family. A breeze blew a yellow fast-food wrapper across the parking lot. Morgan rested her hands on her hips.

She lifted her gaze to the clear spring sky before she lowered it and studied the houses surrounding the small funeral home. Older homes most in need of paint and repair with shaggy lawns crowded the narrow brick streets. A desolate feeling settled over Morgan. Nothing for her here. Why would she want to stay? Great sex was just that, great sex. No reason to think it might lead to more. She’ll go back to her Chicago life and not give Sikesville or me a second thought. Morgan leaned down and wiped the dust off the tips of her wingtip shoes before she walked back to the funeral home.