Chapter Twenty

Eun shoved her hair back with both hands and stared at her computer screen. Being locked out of her work email account was not unexpected, but she couldn’t believe her phone calls to Heather went unreturned. Not that she wanted talk to her anyway, but what the fuck? Fifteen years with a firm, and now it’s like she didn’t exist?

She had dropped her security badge in the mail this morning, signed off on the final paperwork, and now, Eun was officially unemployed. A quick check of her checking account confirmed the firm had paid her out. Eun took her time and paid the few bills she had. She chewed her lip as she navigated the post office site to extend her mail hold. When should I go back? Would she go with me? And then what? Or stay here and play house? The house is a total loss. Rebuild it? Make it mine? Start my own practice? Eun selected a date two weeks ahead and confirmed it. The coffee pot chirped as it clicked off. After closing her laptop, Eun poured herself a cup of coffee.

She leaned back against the counter. The scuffed leather cover of her father’s journal reflected the overhead kitchen light. Eun placed her coffee on the table. A bit of coffee sloshed over the side. Eun dabbed at the puddle with a napkin. She dried her hands before she touched the smooth leather of the book. After another gulp of coffee to fortify herself, she opened his journal and continued reading.

The hum of the refrigerator was loud in the small kitchen. The words ran together, and tears threatened when Eun read her father’s account of their last bitter conversation. His diary ended three-quarters of the way through the journal. His final entry was filled with bland comments about the weather on a walk he had taken with Rudy. She set the book aside and topped up her coffee. Rudy padded into the kitchen and looked up at Eun. He yipped sharply.

“You need to go out?”

Rudy ran in a circle around the table, barking and yipping. He skidded on the linoleum, and his shoulder clipped the table leg. The table shifted and the journal fell to the floor facedown. Eun crossed the kitchen and picked the journal up. Writing on the last pages caught her attention. Two columns of figures marched down the page, one with dates and dollar amounts in the other. Eun blinked. Rudy’s insistent bark drew her attention, and she left the book on the table.

After clipping his leash on she took him for a quick walk. Eun nibbled her lip. “Come on, Rudy. Hurry up. I’ll bring you out for a long walk later.” Rudy cast a baleful look at her before he followed her back inside. In the apartment Eun unclipped his leash and hung it up.

Eun flipped the journal open and ran her finger down the row of figures. The last date entered was two days before his final journal entry. She walked back to the bedroom and opened the other bins. She unpacked his other journals and stacked them next to her on the floor. She flipped through them. In each of them, on the last pages she found similar lists. Eun closed the books and replaced them into the bins. She pinched the bridge of her nose. More mystery. And does it matter? Whoever burned the house down would think his journals had burned. But maybe that wasn’t the point. Maybe someone wanted me to leave town? Like I’m going to stay. But what if I stayed? Opened a practice here and then what? Would I be happy? Bored?

Eun flushed. The lie she had told Morgan clawed at her throat. She had tossed her dream of being a writer along with most of her old spiral-bound notebooks full of ridiculous prose when she left for college.

The bright goal of making partner had dimmed. The sharp clear path she had planned out was now a murky vision, and she had no idea how to clear the glass. Eun had time and money to do whatever she wanted to do. A heady wave of freedom washed over her, and she sat down hard on the kitchen chair.

*

Rudy brushed against her leg. She reached down and rubbed his fur. “What should we do, Rudy?” For the first time in her life she didn’t have a plan, nothing to work on, nothing to do other than to wait for the insurance adjuster to call. The coffee pot shut off with a loud click. Morgan had left for work after a delicious quick fuck, and Eun’s body still resonated from her touch.

She needed to talk to Ginny and had no idea how she was going to look her in the eye. She had loved Eun’s dad. That was clear from her cards and letters her father had saved meticulously and added to his journals. Eun’s father’s journal entries were revealing. As weird as it was reading his words, Eun could not resist the lure of knowing her father in way he never would have allowed when alive.

Eun had finished the most recent journal and was now working her way back through the logs in reverse chronological order. From his words she grew to understand that his journals were his safe space, a nonjudgmental place to write down his thoughts, fears, and desires. The last few entries were the hardest to read. He had intended to reveal his affair to Eun when she visited him.

It was the nagging question of why he had decided to tell Eun about his affair that drove her crazy. Would he have apologized? Tried to make up for pretending Eun didn’t exist for the last five years?

Eun shoved back from the table. Shower, and then she’d figure out her life. A niggle of worry about refusing Roz’s job offer buzzed around the base of her brain. It would be the responsible thing to do. The most logical. Or would it? Eun had the luxury of money and time to figure out what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. A life with Morgan? Wasn’t that the million-dollar question? Eun stretched and walked back to spare room and gathered her clothes to wash.

Rudy padded along behind her. The emptiness of her day loomed ahead of her as she loaded the washer. “We are not going sit around and mope. Come on.” She picked up his leash and her jacket. “Let’s go, boy.”

Rudy scampered down the stairs ahead of Eun. They turned the corner and followed the sidewalk until they got to the door of Morgan’s shop. Eun pushed the door open, and they entered.

“Well, hello there, Rudy,” Charles called. Rudy tugged at his leash until Eun released him. He trotted over to Charles who leaned down and scratched behind his ears. Charles glanced up at Eun. “What are you two up to today?”

Eun placed both hands on the counter. “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I don’t have a plan.”

“Morgan’s going to be out all day with an install.”

“She told me.”

Morgan’s father leaned back on his stool behind the counter. “Sometimes when you’re used to doing all the time, it’s super hard to sit and wait.”

Eun chewed her lip. “That it is.”

Charles scrubbed a hand over his bald head. “We have a great library if you like to read, and there’s the dog park. Rudy likes it a lot.”

“Dog park it is.” She tugged on Rudy’s leash. “Come on, Rudy.”

Rudy sat. Eun rested her hands on her hips. “You want to stay here?” Rudy lay down with his head between his paws. Eun handed the leash over to Morgan’s dad. “Seems he wants to hang out with you.”

“It’s fine. I like the company.” Charles unclipped Rudy’s leash and placed it under the counter.

“I’ll come back and pick him up later.”

“No need, Morgan has to come back to the shop. She can pick him up then.”

“What’s Morgan’s favorite dinner?”

Charles cocked an eyebrow. “You a cook?”

“Not really but I don’t have anything else to do today.”

He rubbed his fingers over his chin. “She’s not particular. Her mom’s chili is her favorite.”

Eun pursed her lips. “Anything easier?”

Charles laughed. “Honey, whatever you make she’ll love it. The only home cooking she gets is when she comes to Sunday dinner.”

“Point taken. You sure it’s okay to leave him here?” She inclined her head toward Rudy.

“More than okay.”

Eun waved and left the shop.

*

“Eun Park? Is that you?” Yvonne Li called from the bar of Ohana’s.

“It is.”

Yvonne waved Eun to her. “Thought I had missed you. I heard about your father. I’m sorry.”

Mai pressed her lips. “Me too.”

Yvonne tilted her head to the side. “Want to have lunch with me? Unless you’re meeting someone?”

“No. I—Morgan is working.”

Yvonne arched an eyebrow. “I’d heard that too.”

Eun frowned. “From who?”

Yvonne laughed. “Mel Michaels was pouting when she picked up her lunch the other day, and I asked why.”

Eun flushed. “Now I remember why I like living in a big city where no one knows you.”

Yvonne laughed. “I hear that. I can’t do anything without my sister sticking her nose in my business. Setting me up on blind dates with farmers.”

“I heard that.” A voice called from the kitchen. “And it was one farmer, and you weren’t complaining when she dropped you off this morning.”

Eun tilted head. “Is that Mai?”

Mai Li walked out of the kitchen. “It is.” She rested her hands on her hips. “Good to see you, Eun.” She pinched Yvonne’s arm. “And you’re the same way.”

“Ow!” Yvonne rubbed her arm. “Are you going to make my lunch or what?”

Mai flapped her hand at the kitchen. “It’s almost ready. Eun, what are you in the mood for?”

“I was told I needed to try the eggroll pizza.”

“Good choice.” Yvonne shifted off the counter stool and picked up her cane. “Can we sit in a booth? My ass is not built for these bar stools.”

Mai snorted. “I’ll bring it out when it’s ready.”

Yvonne placed her hand on Eun’s forearm. “Come on. I want to hear everything.”

*

The blare of the smoke alarm and Rudy’s frantic barking startled Eun. She ran to the kitchen. Smoke seeped from the edges of the oven. No flames were visible through the oven glass. She turned the oven off and left the door closed. Eun shoved open the window over the sink. She snatched a dish towel from its hook and wafted it toward the smoke alarm, desperate for it to stop. The alarm stopped, and the smoke cleared from the kitchen. Eun wiped her forehead with the back of her wrist. After making sure there were no flames, Eun took the pan from the oven. She wrinkled her nose at the smell. Eun placed the pan with the charred remains of what would have been a roast chicken on the top of the stove and turned on the vent fan. Rudy barked and scratched at the door as a key turned in the lock.

“Easy, Rudy.” Morgan stepped into the apartment kitchen and eyed the smoking pan. “Damn, what was that?”

“Dinner.”

Rudy whined at their feet. Morgan kneeled next to him and hugged him close. Morgan looked up at Eun. “Um, so I’m guessing we should go out.”

Eun pressed her lips together. “Sorry.” The weight of failure settled over her. She couldn’t even make a simple dish without a disaster.

Morgan stood up. “You okay?”

Eun opened the refrigerator and plucked out two bottles of beer. She passed one to Morgan. “Yeah. I’m not sure why I thought anything would’ve changed from the last time I tried cooking.”

“My mom gave up trying to teach me to cook after the second time I set a pan on fire making eggs.” Morgan took the offered bottle of beer and snagged the bottle opener off the refrigerator. She opened her beer and passed the opener to Eun. “Where do you want to go?”

Eun took a long sip of her beer. “I wanted to eat here, to have a nice meal ready for you when you got home.”

Morgan frowned. “I don’t care about stuff like that. It’s cool to just come home to you.”

Eun studied Morgan’s face. “We can’t go to Mai’s. I was there for lunch.”

Morgan rubbed the back of her neck. “Lots of places are closed on Monday. There’s a taco truck usually set up at the brewery on Mondays.”

Eun took a long drag of her beer. “Tacos it is.” She inclined her head toward the burnt remains of their dinner. “Let’s give this a proper burial.”

“After it cools off from the cremation.” Morgan grinned at Eun.

Eun grimaced. “I’m sorry. That burnt smell will stay a while.”

Rudy yipped and they both looked toward him. “What’s that, Rudy? You shouldn’t use the smoke alarm as a timer?”

Eun rolled her eyes. “Like I haven’t heard that before. Come on. Let’s go get tacos.” Rudy wagged his tail, his entire body wiggling with his movement.

“Let me wash up. It was dusty as hell during the install.” Morgan sauntered back toward the bathroom with her beer, unbuttoning her work shirt as she did.

Eun tilted her head to study Morgan’s fine ass in her work uniform and a different hunger overtook her. She finished her beer in two long pulls before she placed the bottle on the counter.

Rudy whined.

“Shh, we’ll only be a minute.” Eun waited until she heard the shower running and crept toward the bathroom.

The door to the bathroom was open a bit and Eun pushed it wide with two fingers.

“Eun?”

“Who else?”

“Rudy has jumped in with me once or twice.”

Eun pulled back the curtain. Streams of water cascaded over Morgan’s body, rivulets of soapy bubbles tracing the fine curves and angles of her body. Eun reached out and tracked her finger down Morgan’s spine. Morgan shivered. Eun delighted in her reaction. She withdrew her touch. “Hurry up.”

“You hungry?”

“Uh huh.” Eun leaned a hip on the counter.

Morgan shut the taps off. The outline of her form was visible behind the shower curtain. The shower rings clattered along the rod in the small bathroom. She stepped out onto the bathmat. Streams of water slid down her neck and dripped off her nipples. Eun held out a towel.

Morgan took it from her hands as a cocky grin settled over her face. “Like the view?”

“Yes. Oh yes.” Eun dropped to her knees and gripped the back of Morgan’s thighs. She touched her tongue to her clit. She pressed her nose against her wet curls and inhaled the fresh soap scent and under it, the faint aroma of Morgan’s desire. She flattened her tongue and caressed her clit with her tongue. Morgan shifted her feet, widening her stance.

Eun looked up at her. “You better hold on to something.” She took her then, devoured her, sucking her clit and driving her to orgasm. Sweet salt honey burst across her tongue. Eun indulged her ravenous desire, not stopping until Morgan pushed her shoulders weakly and begged her to stop.

*

Morgan shuddered through a second orgasm, the pleasure bordering on pain. She let go of the bathroom vanity, grabbed Eun’s shoulder, and pulled away from Eun’s mouth. “Enough. I can’t again.”

Eun pouted as she nuzzled Morgan’s thigh, her face shiny, a sublime expression on her face. “I’ve wanted to do that all day.” She stood and kissed Morgan gently before she patted her cheek.

Morgan panted and struggled to catch her breath. “You can burn dinner every night if this is how it goes.”

Eun swatted her ass. “Get dressed. I’m taking you for tacos.”

Morgan caught her arm and spun her around. “You’re not the only one who fantasized all day.” She backed Eun against the bathroom door and leaned into her. With one hand she popped the button on Eun’s pants and slid the zipper down. Eun scrabbled at her back. Morgan shoved past the waistband of her briefs into the silky wet heat between Eun’s legs. She teased her fingertips over her thick clit before she pushed lower. Morgan groaned as she entered her searing heat. “You been like this all day?” Morgan licked and nibbled her neck and teased her finger in and out. “Thinking about me all day? How much you wanted to have me?”

Eun lifted her leg and wrapped it around Morgan’s hips, pulling her close. “Shut up and fuck me.”

Morgan thrust three fingers deep and ground the heel of her hand against Eun’s clit as she pumped her fingers in and out. “You want this? Me to fuck you?”

Eun growled and rocked against Morgan harder. “Take it. All of it.”

Morgan rocked on, slamming into Eun until she came with a shout, her nails digging into Morgan’s bare skin.

Eun lowered her leg to the floor, her body pulsing around Morgan’s fingers. Curling her fingers forward, Morgan stroked over Eun’s sweet spot as she kissed her, swallowing Eun’s soft cries as she shuddered through another orgasm.

She held tight, slowed her thrusts, cherishing her response as Eun’s body throbbed around her fingers. Morgan closed her eyes and savored the sensation of Eun in her arms.

*

“Do you collect these? This is exquisite.” Eun picked up a wooden puzzle box from the corner shelf. On the lid of the box, a marquetry hummingbird sipped nectar from a flower, the design created by the intricate inlays of different shades of wood.

“Some. I made that one.”

“You made these. All of these?” Each one was unique in shape and design. Eun fiddled with the hummingbird box trying to figure out how to open it.

“Most of them on those three shelves.”

“Why puzzle boxes?” Eun turned the box in her hand.

“Did you ever see that movie, Hellraiser?”

“Vaguely. Demon in a box? Or something like that?”

Morgan laughed. “That’s the one. I saw it and became obsessed with puzzle boxes.”

Eun tilted her head. “I take it without the demons and alternate universe?”

Morgan laughed. “Yeah. Demons not included.” She held out her hand. “Let me show you.”

Eun placed the box in her hands.

“It’s not as hard as it looks.” Morgan pressed and turned the box, sliding the sides back and pushing different areas in a sequence. After a small series of clicks it opened. She closed the box back and held it out to Eun. “You try.”

Eun took the box back and turned it in her hands. “You are so very clever, and this box is gorgeous. Do you sell them?”

“No. It’s a hobby.”

“You should.” Eun waved her hand over the shelves of polished wood boxes. “They’re works of art.”

“Now you sound like Dale and Eli.”

“Who?” A wave of jealousy swept over Eun, and she struggled to smooth her expression.

Morgan rested her hands on her hips, the smirk on her mouth letting Eun know she had failed to keep her feelings secret.

“Dale Miller, she’s a general contractor. Her dad makes guitars and mandolins. He lets me use his shop. They’re always after me to sell them.”

Morgan turned away and trailed her fingers over a square box. She picked it up and held it out to Eun. “This one is one of my favorites.” She manipulated the box and it became a heart shape. She opened it. Inside was a small portrait of a harlequin Great Dane.

Eun glanced up at Morgan. “Who’s that?”

Morgan stroked her fingers over the photo. “Beau. He was an amazing dog. Eli made this for me.” Morgan manipulated the box and returned it to its square shape before she replaced it on the shelf.

Eun rested her fingertips on Morgan’s arm. “Why not sell them as part of the lock shop inventory? Or sell online.” She placed the box she held back on the shelf.

“I don’t know. It’s kind of a private thing. It would feel weird sharing them with everyone.”

Eun squeezed Morgan’s arm. “Thank you for showing them to me.” She cupped Morgan’s face and pressed a kiss to her cheek.

*

“So, you want to hear my crazy idea?” Roslyn’s voice was loud in Eun’s ear, and she pulled the phone away from her face.

“Hello to you too.” Eun shifted on the bed and squinted at the phone’s time display. Morgan had left for work before dawn, and Eun had crawled back to bed and pulled the covers up over her head with Rudy’s warm comfortable weight over her feet.

“I think we should open a practice together.”

Eun sat up and raked her hair back with one hand. “What?”

“Let’s do it. We have the experience. We can do this. We wouldn’t have to chase partner anymore. We would own the practice. We work well together. What do you think?”

Eun fell back on to her pillow and pinched the bridge of her nose. “What do I think? I think I’m too sleepy to talk about this now.”

“Come on, Eun. What do you have to lose?”

“A bunch of money.”

Rosslyn’s snort through the phone was loud. “How can we not make money?”

Eun rubbed her eyes. “Overhead, office space, we still have to pay salaries and rent even if we’re not making any money.”

“Fine. But I am going out on my own, Eun. Come with me. I’ve missed working with you. And folks would come to us. Your clients have already been calling me to see where you are. They hate working with the new guy.”

Eun chewed her lip. She was touched her clients were looking for her. Guilt at leaving them behind gnawed at her. Her clients had trusted her, counted on her. And here she was playing house and burning chickens. And having the most amazing sex and feeling cherished for the first time in her life.

“Eun? You there?”

“Yeah. Roslyn, I love you, but I can’t commit to anything right now. I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I don’t know. I can’t get my head around anything right now.”

“The sex is that good?”

Eun huffed. “It’s not that. I told you. It’s everything. I’ve never done anything for myself my whole life. I want to see where this goes. While I can. It might not go anywhere but she looks at me the way Jeff looks at you.”

“You’re in love with her.”

Eun groaned and fell back onto the mattress. “Yes. Damn it. I don’t know what to do. I’m so out of control. I can’t concentrate. All I can think about is when I can have her in my arms again. I’m so fucked.”

Roslyn laughed. “Aw, honey, enjoy it. And don’t worry. I’m not going to do anything drastic until after the New Year. And even after, you’ll always have a place with me if and when you want it.”

The unspoken “when it ends” hung between them. Eun closed her eyes. “Thanks.”

“Talk to you later.”

Eun placed her phone back on the bedside table. She snuggled back under the covers. Rudy stalked up the bed and nosed her hand. She petted him absently. All her education had prepared her for was to work. She had no idea what to do with herself. She had been unable to come up with an answer when Morgan had asked her if she had any hobbies the night before.

Unless you counted mindlessly binge-watching shows when she couldn’t sleep Eun didn’t have anything she did in her spare time, because she never had any spare time. Until now. The insurance adjuster had been prompt, the claim would be paid out by the end of the month. Eun had no reason to stay in Sikesville except for Morgan and her desire to be with her.

How did one go about reinventing oneself? Eun didn’t know, but she did know lying about with a dog, no matter how comforting, was not getting her any closer to figuring what to do with herself. She grimaced as she recalled her disastrous attempt at cooking. Something different today. The library. And she’d pick up a rotisserie chicken and some salad greens for dinner.