I don’t drive a car. I drive a portable locker room.
Who needs a garage when you’ve got a trunk?
~Author Unknown
Let me make my disclosure right at the beginning. I am not a runner, although I did spend several decades chasing after my six sons and two daughters. So, I cannot claim to be a member of the “Runners’ World.” I am, though, a proud member of the highly selective “World of a Runner’s Mom.”
One does not easily become a card-carrying member of this group. There are multiple initiation tasks to complete. To remain a sustaining member, a mother must exhibit dedication to and patience with the often-eccentric environment of runners.
Many children begin running as young teens. The first challenge to a runner’s mom is the need to adjust to the emotional ups and downs of the runner child. These fluctuations are precipitous, intense and often dramatic. A runner’s happiness quotient and sense of self-worth are strongly connected to the perceived success of the last race or workout. Mix a disappointing time into the cauldron of adolescent insecurity, and your runner has created a toxic potion.
The usual maternal psychology may prove ineffective in this situation. This is not the time to apply the comparative method. Your runner sees little consolation in looking back at past successes or in looking forward to the next opportunity to achieve a personal record. The present is what matters. I once read that a mother is only as happy as her least happy child. If you have several runners in your home, you may experience many unhappy moments.
However, a good race, a training PR (personal record), the camaraderie of a team or a running buddy — these can quickly offset the unhappy moments for a runner, and a mother. At times, the sport can be a harsh but nurturing teacher of life skills. Sometimes you win; sometimes you lose. Aim to do your best; be diligent in your preparation; enjoy the process. Gradually, a runner learns it can be just as rewarding to compete against oneself as to compete against others.
There are also physical challenges for a runner’s mom. You must be ready to do lots of laundry — lots of odoriferous laundry. If you are a good trainer, you will insist your runner do his/her own laundry. However, even the best-trained children slip up — or out the door — now and then, and a mother can only hold her breath for so long. So be ready to do some extra loads of laundry out of self-defense.
Some of your happiest moments as a runner’s mom occur at the finish line or at your front door. No matter how experienced your runner may be, it is always a relief to see them back safely. It is anxiety-provoking to be standing at the finish line knowing the expected time of arrival of your runner, but your child is not in sight. In panic, a mother’s mind creates many possible explanations for the delay. As a veteran mother of runners, I have experienced the news of twisted ankles, dehydration, and falls.
One of my daughters provided a most original explanation for her delay. She was running a half marathon in torrential rain when she stopped to use a Porta-Potty along the route. Her spandex running tights were so soaked that she couldn’t pull them up to leave. So, there she was stuck in the Porta-Potty with her tights glued to her ankles. It took minutes of distressed wriggling and tugging to get them up. How can people say running is a boring sport?
Weather can be a mother’s best friend or her most challenging adversary. There is nothing more pleasant than standing at the finish line for a cross-country meet or a road race on a crisp, clear fall day. A mother must store that memory as a pleasant flashback as she shivers on a cold winter day or wilts in the heat and humidity at a summer race. There is always consolation in reminding yourself that at least you are only a spectator, not a participant.
At first glance, running seems to be a comparatively safe sport — and so it is. Still, a runner’s mom may be called on to add some impressive medical terms to her vocabulary. However, with luck you will never need to deal with:
• plantar fasciitis
• Achilles tendonitis and insertional Achilles tendinopathy
• shin splints
• patella tendonitis
• high hamstring tendinopathy
• stress fractures
• runner’s knee, aka patellofemoral pain syndrome (PFPS)
Dealing with the emotional repercussions of an injury is often more difficult than treating the physical issue, especially if your son or daughter is a “passionate” runner. Losing weeks of a season or a training program can be traumatic. However, it can be a period of enlightenment when a runner can learn that running does not define the person. The time-out experience often confirms the adage, “When one door closes, another opens.” Personally, I have watched my runner children on the disabled list slowly gravitate toward involvement in a new activity — school newspaper, volunteering with children with disabilities, swimming, or a public-policy study. It is important to learn that there is fulfillment outside the running realm, although the call of the pavement may remain the most commanding in the end.
Eventually, your runner children move on — and out of the family home. Now, as the experienced mother of a runner, you have earned the right to rejoice in the good moments, while being less directly involved with the frustrating moments. However, I can still tell as soon as I hear one of my kids on the phone whether the most recent race was a good one or a not-so-good one. The mother of a runner retains her maternal ESP.
But what does the semi-retired mother do once there are no resident runners at home? I have been privileged to find out that, with luck, she becomes the grandmother of runners!
— Patricia A. Gavin —