Readin’, ’Ritin’, and Rhetoric
TO BE A good persuader, you have to learn to read your opponent and the situation. Much like my old Indian mentor taught me to read a trail when I was six or seven years old, I would like to teach you to read people and size up a verbal encounter.
Because my doctorate is in English literature, a classical discipline, I feel the need to put things in rhetorical perspective. But don’t feel intimidated. I’m also an earthy guy. Highfalutin as it may sound, rhetorical perspective is easily defined and helps put handles on the subject of this chapter.
Rhetoric is an interesting word often used in the modern idiom to mean a bunch of words and no substance, such as “That’s just rhetoric.” But the word has classical roots. Used by Aristotle, it was a word of dignity. It meant “the art of verbal appeal or verbal persuasion.”
To me, rhetoric is the art of finding the right means and the right words to generate voluntary compliance. Rhetoric is Verbal Judo.
THE THIRD “R”
Rhetoric was actually a subject taught in the American public school system up until about 1940 or so, and I, for one, wouldn’t mind seeing it return to the classroom. Even if the concept is foreign to you, open your mind to it. I want to give you a rhetorical perspective on communication, persuasion, and generating voluntary compliance.
I have developed an acronym—PAVPO—which I agree is kind of an ugly-sounding one, but which is also very serviceable. If you can lock it into your mind, it will help you memorize the five components of what I call the rhetorical perspective of Verbal Judo, some of which I have already discussed:
Perspective
Audience
Voice
Purpose
Organization
If you can develop and use a rhetorical perspective in your daily life, you’ll be far more skillful and effective as a communicator.
Perspective
Perspective is simply the way you see things, your point of view, based on your knowledge, your understanding of the situation, your background, and your experience. You have to know what you’re talking about to either a group or an individual. That means you have mastered your policies, your procedures, your products, what you can and cannot do.
Too many people believe that preparing what they want to say is the end-all of effective communication. As important as that is, disregarding the other areas is an error, as I will show you. But first let me address this issue of your own point of view.
The more thoroughly you know what you know, the more powerfully you will present it. You will have an aura of certainty that comes only with preparation. There is no substitute for knowing what you want to say and having the data to back it up.
For example, if I go before the city council to appeal for more money for my budget area, I will spend what time is necessary gathering my data and creating charts that compare my department with others. My evidence and arguments will be all marshaled. I will be prepared to control my emotions and biases and to plead my case from a position of strength.
My perspective, based on my expertise, will come through because I know what I’m talking about and I’m under control.
Audience
Many people, after their preparation, just go out before an audience and begin to speak, but that’s a crucial blunder. You must spend equal time considering your audience, analyzing to whom you will be speaking.
Who are these people on the city council, for example? If there are eight people on the council, I must study all eight individually. What are their values, their belief systems? How do they think? Who are their constituents? What will their objections likely be?
I have to think carefully from their point of view. Once again, that powerful word empathy comes into play. I want to think like the others, put myself into their shoes, anticipate their reactions based on my knowledge of the positions from which they will be listening.
Depending on my reading of these people I may open differently. For example, if I know that they’re highly analytical people or that at least several are antagonistic, I will probably open with a series of examples of data comparison, factually showing that my need for money is real.
If I have determined there is no one that highly analytical in the audience, I might try another approach altogether. If it’s kind of a good ol’ boy city council, I might start out being much more chatty and informal. If they are self-righteous and see me as an underling who should be deferential, I’ll be that and maybe a little self-effacing with some self-deprecating humor. When they’re impressed and know that I know my place, I will earnestly prove my need for funds and hope for the best.
Whether you’re speaking to a roomful of citizens, a city council of eight, or just one disgruntled customer, you are onstage. You are playing a role before others, and you should be aware of the dynamics of each situation. For example, when I teach I often suddenly pull a camera out of my bag and point it at the students.
Immediately the room changes. Everything becomes still and silent, and then there’s some nervous giggling, people looking down, others warily looking at that camera, wondering what I’m doing with it. Think of yourself as that camera. As you enter a scene, it changes.
You can make two assumptions right off the bat. First, people will always see differently than you. I don’t care whether you’ve been married two or twenty years, your spouse does not think the way you do. The moment you begin to believe that he or she does, you’re headed for problems. Never assume people are going to agree with you 100 percent.
Second, as you enter, you’re very much like an actor appearing onstage. The audience quiets and they watch.
When I walked into a bar as a police officer, the whole place hushed. People whispered, “Cops!” or “The police are here.” People’s behavior changed. They tried to surreptitiously hide contraband, and say, “Oh yes. Evening, Officer. Oh yes. Evening.” Even if they were clearly up to no good, they were doing their best to appear otherwise.
Not only did they change as I entered the bar, but they also watched me. Again, it was as if I had walked onstage. They watched as I performed.
You must think of yourself as a performer, whether before your children, your spouse, or your constituency (citizens, customers, whomever). If you can see yourself as someone who is there to make changes as you act, you will understand a most interesting point, first made by Aristotle, that audiences are made, not found.
If an actor does a poor job and the audience says he’s terrible, it makes no difference that the actor thinks he did a brilliant job. How he sees himself, remember, is not as important as how he’s seen. If an audience thinks you’re boring, you are. If an audience thinks you don’t know what you’re talking about, you don’t. You’ve got a problem. You’ve failed to perform in such a way as to get their attention. More than likely you failed to analyze in advance who those people really are, what they might think, what they might anticipate, what their objections might be. If you had, then as you entered the scene, your walk and your voice would have appropriately matched their needs.
Voice
See Chapter 16.
Purpose
Purpose is, of course, your bottom line: the result you must professionally achieve. If you do everything else right and don’t achieve your purpose, obviously, you’ve failed. You’d be surprised at the number of people who go into a presentation or an argument concerned only with preparing, or knowing their audience, or using their voice properly, and being satisfied that they have done all these things—only to realize later that they did not achieve their purpose. If all you care about is the means and not the end, you’ll be thrilled if you perform well. As for me, I’m into results. I want to see the purpose achieved, even if everything else doesn’t go perfectly.
If, however, you have a handle on perspective, audience, and voice, your purpose will likely be fulfilled. One way to ensure that you’ll be effective is to concentrate on the last letter in my homely, but hopefully effective acronym.
Organization
Organization is simply how you want the encounter to unfold from beginning to middle to end. The responsibility for ordering the event is yours, and you will, of course, organize it based on your reading of the situation.
Nowhere did I learn more clearly the importance of this component than on the streets as a cop. Let me use yet another police example, because I believe it is easy to transfer the principles to your situation. Police work represents the essence of Verbal Judo in stark clarity. In other words, if it doesn’t work on the street, you can’t use it at home or at the office.
Take the average, everyday, nonfelony car stop. At one time or another you have likely been stopped by the police, so you can identify with this and compare it with your experience.
The average police officer not trained in tactical communication tends to approach a car and immediately snap, “Let me see your driver’s license!”
To which the driver often responds, “Why? What have I done? Why are you stopping me?”
Notice that all the initial verbal conflict arises from the fact that the officer asked for the driver’s license first. What if he asked for it later, anticipated the questions, and answered them before they were asked? (One of my pet peeves is the officer who studies the license and then asks, “Do you know why I stopped you?” What is that? A quiz? Most fully functioning adults know a setup when they see one. Who’s going to give him what he needs to write a ticket? The obvious answer, even if you have an idea what you might have done, is “No, why did you stop me?” What does the cop expect? Surely not an answer like “Yes, Officer, I know why you stopped me. I was speeding, driving recklessly, ignoring stop signs, and drinking in the car.)
However, I teach across the country what I call a Nine-Step Car Stop. It has a far different order from the way most officers are trained. It goes like this:
1. Greeting. “Good evening, sir/ma’am.” I say it with sincerity and a smile. More than likely I’m dealing with a normal citizen, not a dangerous criminal. Pleasantly I break the ice.
2. Identification of yourself and department. “I’m Officer Thompson of the Home Town Police Department.” That should make me sound as if I know what I’m doing. I’m establishing command presence, clarity, and an unafraid approach. I’ve offered my title (officer), my name, and my authority (the name of my department).
We know from research that when you give your name, you personalize the encounter to the point where you can expect less verbal abuse. Once I have given my name, it becomes harder for the citizen to start calling me names and treating me like some abstract, uniformed, unknown authority person. Names have a way of calming people. Too often we use numbers and titles rather than names. In a store, doesn’t it help if the clerk at the counter introduces himself and says, “Hi, I’m Bill. How can I help you?”
3. Reason for the stop. “The reason I stopped you is that I did pace you over the last four blocks at forty-five miles per hour in a twenty zone.” Notice I’ve given the reason right up front, even before asking for the license. Then I move immediately into the next step.
4. Justification. “Is there some reason for such excessive speed this evening?” Normally the answer is dead silence, because it’s hard to say anything without convicting yourself. But if you’re bleeding and taking yourself to the hospital or your wife is having a baby in the car, there just might be justification for exceeding the speed limit. In such a case, the officer will escort you to your destination as quickly as is safe. When, however, there is no answer to the justification question, I can go right on to the next step.
5. Request license, papers, and cooperation. “May I see your driver’s license?”
By now the encounter, rather than starting as usual with this threatening step, sounds more like “Good evening, sir/ma’am. I’m Officer Thompson of the Home Town Police Department. The reason I stopped you is that I did pace you over the last four blocks at forty-five miles per hour in a twenty zone. Is there some reason for such excessive speed this evening? If not, I will need to see your driver’s license.”
Not only does that sound polite, but notice that also there is a command presence. I sound knowledgeable, I sound clear, I sound professional. Also there’s no personal challenge or a snapping at the citizen.
Perhaps most important, look what the driver can no longer say.
“Why are you stopping me?” I’ve told him.
“Who do you think you are?” I’ve even told him that, and it’s not who I think I am; I’m acting under the authority of the city.
By anticipating certain kinds of abuse and questions, I have ordered my presentation to deflect them. I have taken those weapons away from my opponent and made him less of an opponent and more of an ally. I basically have sounded professional without having angered the citizen.
As kind and professional as that approach is, it is also very forceful, and these five steps will usually persuade the person to produce a driver’s license.
6. Clarification. If there’s anything more I need to know (Is this your current address? Is there anything I can help you with?), I ask it now.
7. Decision. There are only three things a police officer can do. He can warn you and let you go, cite you with a ticket, or move to the optional next step.
8. Search and seize. This step is necessary only if the officer sees contraband or discovers that your car is stolen, you’re wanted for some other offense, or you create a disturbance by physically resisting. That, of course, is rare.
9. Close. My goal here is to effectively and appropriately close the encounter so you feel better about it than you did at first. If I issue you a ticket, I will say, “Thank you for your cooperation. Do drive carefully.” If I have given you a warning, I will say, “Have a nice day.” Notice that I don’t say, “Have a nice day,” if I’ve given you a ticket, because I just cost you money and would thus sound sarcastic.
Look at the advantages of the Nine-Step Car Stop and apply them to your typical confrontations.
It’s polite.
It normally generates voluntary compliance.
Its structure creates presence for you and deflects verbal abuse.
If this approach fails and abuse is still coming your way, you can immediately switch to Step 2 (setting context) of the Five-Step Hard Style outlined in Chapter 12. If that doesn’t work, move to confirmation (“Is there anything I can say or do to get you to cooperate?”). If the answer is no, you must take action. I hope it never gets to that point for you, unless you are in law enforcement and have all the resources you need to coerce compliance.
This structured, professional approach should keep you safe and sounding good, even when you may be having a bad day. The professional communicator can’t let bad days get to him. Under pressure, the pro just gets better.
That ninth step, the appropriate close, should be memorized to the point where it’s second nature and can be enacted even when you don’t like the person you’re dealing with. The ninth step keeps you safe because you sound professional. It allows you to ignore your negative inner voice, which would have you give that speech you would live to regret.
BUT I’M A CIVILIAN
Fair enough. You don’t have at your disposal the uniform, the law, the tactics, the weapons of a cop. Your problem is not a speeder or a dangerous lawbreaker. Maybe you’re in a business, dealing with a complaining customer who is clearly overreacting and out of control.
First, make it your goal, your business, to win the person over. No matter what is said, you’re going to deflect the abuse, not take it personally, remain professional, and keep your eyes on the purpose. You want what the customer wants: satisfaction and a happy result. Let nothing stand in the way of that.
Can you see the transferable principles from PAVPO and even several from the Nine-Step Car Stop? You have perspective because you have mastered your policies, your procedures, your products, what you can and cannot do. You have that aura of certainty that comes only with preparation. Remember that there is no substitute for knowing what you want to say and having the data to back it up.
You have an audience you may not have had time to study, but take whatever time you can to research them anyway. If you’re on the phone with a disgruntled customer, try to bring the account up on your computer or stall for enough time to pull it from the file. Anything you can learn about the person or the account will help in how you deal with him. “I hope we can straighten this out for you so that you can enjoy the product as much as you have the garden tractor. Is that still working out for you?”
Or if you see a previous return in the file, you might ask if the reimbursement arrived in due time and apologize for any delay.
Clearly your voice in such an encounter should be soothing and authoritative. You’re as apologetic as necessary, as confident as you can be, and reassuring—insisting that the customer finally has the right person and that by the time you are finished, action will have been taken.
Your purpose was determined as soon as you silently set your mind to satisfying this customer. Obviously there is a limit to what you can do, and that limit is the integrity and well-being of your business. But when you know what kind of damage one unhappy customer can do to a company, that expands the horizon of possibilities. Your purpose is to turn a bad situation into a good one, an unhappy customer into a happy one. Many management experts will tell you that it is better to have a satisfactorily repaired relationship with a customer than a relationship that has never had a hitch. Such results are talked about among friends, and people take notice.
Organization, you’ll recall, is how you want the situation to unfold. That is in your hands. Don’t let the customer dictate it. When a customer starts raising his voice or making accusations, that is the time to take charge. With your best voice, tell him, “I am absolutely certain we can work this out to your complete satisfaction.” Then go immediately into your variation of my car stop steps. “My name is _____, and my job here is to get to the bottom of just these types of matters. Let me tell you what information will be most helpful in being sure this is taken care of.”
Once everything has been clarified, you can present options. “Based on what you’ve told me, here is what I am prepared to do. By policy, I can refund your money, replace the item, or give you the appropriate credit in your account. Which would be best for you?”
The appropriate close will tell you whether the person has been completely satisfied. “Will that take care of it? Is there anything else we can do for you?”
WORTH MEMORIZING
Jot my rhetorical approach on a card and carry it with you until you have memorized it: PAVPO—Perspective, Audience, Voice, Purpose, and Organization.