“Oh, Timmy, what are we going to do?” Isabel sighed heavily and looked at the baby in her lap.
He smiled at her and gurgled as he reached up, grabbed a fistful of hair, and yanked. She winced and untangled her hair.
Rubbing her face, she heaved another sigh. It had been five months since Timmy stole her heart. As much as she loved the baby, she was exhausted. He had started teething and waking her up in the middle of the night. Luckily, he always went back to sleep quickly when she rubbed a tiny bit of whiskey on his gums. She wasn’t so lucky. Worries swirled around her brain.
Mrs. Adams, who owned the seamstress shop, had been very generous when Isabel showed up for work with her orphaned “nephew.” He was a good baby and didn’t make much of a fuss. Mrs. Adams had even allowed Isabel a small corner of the shop for him to play in.
Isabel hadn’t liked to lie to Mrs. Adams, but she knew that Isabel hadn’t been pregnant, and it was strange that she suddenly showed up with a newborn. Saying her sister had died from an illness was the best explanation she could come up with.
The money she earned from the shop wasn’t enough to pay the rent and buy all the necessities for the baby. Isabel could not get a second job because she had to keep Timmy with her at all times.
Mrs. Hammond had been very gracious and had gone out of her way to be helpful. There were a couple of weeks when she let the rent slide. She also gave Isabel clothes for the baby, which Mrs. Hammond claimed were from her daughter’s child.
“This can’t go on forever,” Isabel said.
Isabel put on her best dress and dressed Timmy. She walked to the Church of the Good Shepherd for Sunday services. It was a newer building, and the wooden structure still gleamed white. Everyone had been so proud when the pastor announced they had enough money for a bell.
She slid into the pew after strolling up the wooden steps at the last possible moment.
She sat in the back in case Timmy got a little fussy, although he usually sat quietly in her lap during services, as though he was listening to the sermon, or he slept.
Isabel didn’t miss the side glances the other women gave her, and she didn’t feel obligated to give them an explanation. They could think what they—at least, that was what she told herself.
When it was time to pray, she fervently asked, “Please, Lord. Help me find a solution. I know You brought Timmy to me, but I need Your help to take care of him. Please, show me the way. Amen.”
Her face flushed red with shame when the plate was passed around, and she put in her penny. At the moment, Isabel didn’t have another cent to her name.
The reverend stood outside the door, shaking hands with everyone. He put his hand on Timmy’s head. “He’s such a good little boy. I’m glad you bring him. It’s never too early for him to start learning about the Lord.”
Isabel smiled tiredly and started to walk away. The reverend stopped her, seeming to look right through her. “The Lord answers prayers in mysterious ways. You have to trust Him.”
She paused, not knowing how to take the ominous statement. Eventually, she managed to mutter, “Thank you,” but his words stuck with her during her walk back to the boarding house.
When safely in her room, Isabel fed Timmy and laid him down for a nap. Then, she spread a light layer of butter over a piece of bread for herself and chewed slowly, thinking of what the reverend had said. It was almost as if he had heard her prayer.
She had just finished and was thinking about taking a short nap when there was a soft knock on her door.
“Come in,” Isabel called.
“There you are, dear. I wanted to talk to you about something.”
Isabel’s heart stopped, and her breath caught her throat.
Here it comes. She’s going to say that she can’t help us anymore and throw us out.
Ignorant of her internal struggles, Mrs. Hammond continued. “I found a potential solution for your problem. It might sound crazy at first, but think about it.” She handed Isabel a newspaper and pointed to some advertisements.
Isabel raised her eyebrows. “Mail-order brides?”
Mrs. Hammond nodded. “Sure. You know women are scarce out West, especially in less populated areas. A man gets lonely and needs company or wants to start a family.”
Biting her bottom lip, Isabel thought about the proposal. She wouldn’t have to worry about food and a place to live.
Her thoughts traveled to her father and how he had treated her mother. If she took Mrs. Hammond’s advice and applied, she wouldn’t know what kind of man she’d be marrying. What if she ended up shackled to someone who behaved similarly?
Isabel swore she would never allow any man to treat her that way.
Almost as if sensing her hesitation, Mrs. Hammond added, “This man, Theodore, sounds nice. He says that he doesn’t care if the woman is a widow with children.”
Maybe this is what the reverend was talking about, Isabel considered. If he isn’t so nice, I can always leave.
“Thank you, Mrs. Hammond,” she finally said, her mind made up.
She needed to make the most of this opportunity—for Timmy. There wasn’t time to dwell on her doubts, not when their lives were at stake.
Isabel sat down and wrote a letter to Theodore.
Dear Theodore,
I hope this letter finds you well. I saw your advertisement for a wife to join you on your ranch in New Mexico Territory.
My name is Isabel Collins, and I am twenty-six years old. I currently live in Brooklyn, New York.
I believe I would make a good wife for you. I am strong and healthy and not afraid of hard work. I am a good cook and an excellent seamstress. I look forward to learning the skills needed for ranch life.
You should know that I am the mother of a five-month-old son I adopted after he was abandoned.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
Isabel
She immediately took the letter to the post office and slid it into the mail slot before she could get cold feet and change her mind.
Isabel was anxious for the next month. She knew that it could take twenty days or more to get to Theodore. More than once, she sat in her room, sewing the extra shirts Mrs. Adams sent home with her, wondering if she wanted him to tell her to come or tell her he wasn’t interested.
Twenty-eight days later, Mrs. Hammond greeted her at the door when she got home from work. “Theodore replied. This was delivered today.” She handed her a telegraph.
Received letter STOP Sending money for train tickets from Brooklyn to Santa Fe and expenses by telegraph STOP.
Isabel’s heart started thrumming faster, and she grinned at Mrs. Hammond. “Is it too late to pick up the money tonight?”
“I think you can make it,” Mrs. Hammond said, patting her hand. “I’ll watch Timmy for you.”
A million thoughts raced through her mind as she briskly walked to the station to claim the money.
Am I making a terrible mistake? What am I getting Timmy and myself into?
She put one foot in front of the other because she knew she had no choice.
The next day, she gave notice to Mrs. Adams, thanked her for her kindness, and then bought the train tickets for her and the baby. Mrs. Hammond gave her two carpet bags to pack her and Timmy’s belongings in.
“I’m sorry to see you go. I will miss you, but I think this is your key to a better life.” Mrs. Hammond hugged her, though there was a hint of tears in her eyes.
Isabel held on a bit longer than necessary, basking in the warmth of the kind older lady. “Thank you for all you’ve done for me,” she managed to choke out, her own throat clogged with tears. “I don’t know what I would do without you.”
The next ten days were an eternity. She had enough powdered milk to feed Timmy during their trip. The extra money Theodore had sent, combined with the little bit of her money, let her buy food for the both of them. Isabel and Timmy spent many hours walking up and down the train aisle. Luckily, he was a good baby and easy to entertain with the few toys he had.
The anticipation was killing her.
“What does your new papa look like?” she muttered. “I hope he’s at least a little handsome.”
Even if it sounded a bit shallow, she wouldn’t want to be close to a hideous man with rotten teeth and terrible body odor. She wasn’t sure how much of a genuine marriage this would be, but if there was a chance for any real intimacy, it would help if her husband was mildly attractive.
More important, though, was his personality.
“Is he going to be nice?” she wondered aloud, staring into the baby’s face.
He responded by reaching up and grabbing her nose. She gently pulled his hand away and laughed. “That’s some grip you’ve got.”
She breathed a huge sigh of relief when the announcement blared that they had arrived in Santa Fe. At the same time, her heart pounded in her chest, and her stomach turned queasy. This was the moment of reckoning. Would a true gentleman be waiting for her, or would she be signing away her freedom to an alternate version of her father?
Either way, she had made her bed; she had to lie in it.
The first thing she wanted was a bath, and she didn’t care if it was in an old washtub or a creek. The second thing she wanted was to sleep in something besides the train seats.
Isabel and Timmy stepped out into the cloudy afternoon, looking around. She held the baby in one hand and clutched their two bags in her other hand. It must have been obvious that she was lost because a burly man with brown hair and a scraggly beard walked up to her.
“Are you Isabel Collins?” he demanded.
She swallowed, trying to keep her voice steady as she responded. “I am.”
“My name is Jacob Perkins. Theodore sent me.”
Her heart sank. It wasn’t a good sign that he hadn’t even bothered to come get her.
She nodded. Isabel had the feeling that Jacob didn’t like her, even though he had never met her.
“He didn’t tell me about the dad-burned baby.” Jacob frowned as he glared at the infant she held in her arms.
Isabel didn’t say anything. She didn’t bother telling him that she had told Theodore about the baby in her letter.
After a moment of stilted silence, he gave an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I ain’t got no choice. These bags all you got?”
“Yes.”
He picked them up and started walking. “Follow me.”
He put their bags in the back of the wagon and looked at Isabel, who was trying to figure out how to get into the wagon while holding Timmy.
“Give ‘im ter me.”
She hesitated for just a second before handing over the baby.
It’s not like he’s going to eat Timmy.
Isabel lifted her skirts, climbed into the wagon, and sat on the hard wooden bench. She reached for Timmy, holding him close to her chest and tucking him under her dark green ankle-length wool coat.
Jacob didn’t say anything during their long ride to the ranch, so she looked around with interest. Large expanses of prairie were dotted with pinon pines and juniper trees. Rocky outcroppings, tufts of grasses, and sagebrush decorated the plains.
The Sangre de Cristo Mountains loomed on the horizon, their peaks already covered in snow, although it was early fall. As they drove further away from the city, Isabel was fascinated by the changing landscape. She had never seen prickly pear cacti and yucca plants before and wanted so much to ask about them. However, one look at Jacob’s hard face convinced her she didn’t want to know that badly. A dry arroyo, a channel cut into the land by flood waters, was carved into the land.
She looked up into the darkening evening sky. The clouds had cleared away, and she could see a crescent moon peeking out from behind the mountains. A hawk flew overhead, crying out.
The landscape became grassier as they grew closer to the ranch. A large herd of cattle was grazing in the fields. Tall prairie grass covered the land, interspersed with cacti. She could see a wooden house in the distance. It wasn’t a huge house, but the smoke twirling out of the chimney made it seem welcoming. A covered porch with two rocking chairs faced the west. A large red barn loomed next to the house, along with a sizable corral, enclosed with a white wooden fence, that sat in front of the barn. A smaller corral was on the side of the barn.
Isabel let her shoulders slump in relief when Jacob brought the pair of horses to a stop in front of the house. He hopped out and reached for Timmy without bothering to offer her a hand. She had to resist the urge to rub her sore bottom when her feet touched solid ground.
She looked around her, smiling widely. Compared to the big city life, this place seemed like a haven. Cattle dotted the fields, and a couple of horses pranced in the corral. A peace that she hadn’t felt in a long time settled in her soul.
Isabel kissed Timmy and whispered in his ear, “We’re home. You have a place where you can grow up and be happy.”
A tall, muscular man approached from the barn. He had shoulder-length sandy blond hair and a beard. He was very tanned. That wasn’t what got Isabel’s attention, though. He had the most intense green eyes she had ever seen.
“How was your trip?” he asked, although his expression told her that he really didn’t care. His voice was cold, sending a chill down Isabel’s spine.
“Good, thanks,” Isabel replied.
She didn’t know what to expect when she arrived, but this man almost seemed unhappy that she was there. He didn’t offer her his hand or a smile. The man simply stared at her and Timmy with a hard, stoic look on his face.
Jacob pulled her bags from the wagon and took them into the house. Once he was out of earshot, Theodore said, “I want to make something very clear from the beginning so there aren’t any misunderstandings. This is strictly a marriage of convenience. I need an heir, and you need a place to stay. We’ll be married in name only.”
She bit her bottom lip to keep it from trembling. Isabel had figured that their relationship would be like this, even if she had hoped, deep inside of her, that it could be different. Long ago, when she was a girl still raising her five siblings, she had dreamed of falling in love and having a family.
I have no other choice. This is likely my only chance if I want to be able to take care of Timmy. Lord, give me the strength to get through this.
“I’m sure you’re tired and hungry. There is some leftover stew on the stove. Your bedroom is to the right of the kitchen. The baby can sleep with you for now, but there is a third, smaller room he can use when he gets older. I’ll have Jacob draw you some water so you can wash up.” He turned his back to her and walked back into the barn.
With a sinking heart, Isabel slowly trudged into the house. Timmy chose that moment to let out a loud cry, letting her know he was hungry.
She kissed his forehead and blinked away a tear.
I have to be strong for both of us.
***
Theodore’s calloused hands pushed open the worn wooden door of the barn. The hinges creaked in protest, and he stepped inside the barn, letting his eyes adjust to the dimness.
He pictured Isabel’s golden hair, bright blue eyes, and heart-shaped face. She was incredibly beautiful.
Walking as though he was in a trance toward the cows that waited to be milked, his mind raced a million miles an hour. She was nothing like he had imagined. Her letter had painted a picture of a serious, practical woman. In his mind, Isabel was short and stout with a lined face that was proof of a lifetime of hard work. That was not Isabel. Her smile was radiant and the opposite of the no-nonsense grim look he had expected of his future wife.
This vibrant, beautiful wife was not what he signed up for. She was a complication he didn’t want to deal with. Unfortunately, he was stuck with her.
As the milk hit the metal bucket, he groaned. “What in the world did I get myself into?”