Your Habits Will
Determine Your Future
“A habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.”
—Horace Mann
Maria Sosa knew she had to make a decision.
It was not one of those everyday minor decisions we all make as we go about our lives. This was a life-changing decision that would determine if her family would survive the next few weeks.
Living in mountainous rural Colombia, Maria’s life was simple and meager. She raised chickens and sold them for a little money that would purchase some of the essentials required by her family. Her husband, Hugo, worked for a land owner tending the cattle and crops. Their home had no electricity, transport was by horse, and to reach the nearest town it was a five-hour journey. Maria and Hugo had three children—two boys, Elver (eleven) and Juan (nine), and a daughter, Luz (seven). Little Luz had been diagnosed with Reye’s syndrome, following a viral infection. This rare condition sadly resulted in brain damage and a disability that restricted her movement to a wheelchair.
To compound her challenges, Maria had recently given birth to another baby boy. The infant died after only three short weeks with the family. Hugo experienced so much distress over this that he suffered a major stroke which left him paralyzed, unable to speak, and with a walk that was reduced to a shuffle. He also suffered significant brain damage and was unable to work.
If all this wasn’t enough to cope with, Maria had to be vigilant on another front. A local terrorist group, whose favorite tactic was taking foreigners hostage and demanding large ransoms for their release, was operating in the jungles nearby. They also kidnapped children and trained them to be terrorists, as well as demanding money from local area residents. Often Maria would have to surrender half of her chicken money when they came to call unexpectedly.
One day they wanted more than money. Young Elver was their target, a ripe young prospect to join their ranks in the jungle. Maria screamed and pleaded with them: “Don’t take him away—he’s my son!” Thankfully, they relented. This was Maria’s defining moment, the moment when you trust your intuition, not caring or knowing what the outcome will be. You just know that you must act immediately! This was a choice that could change Maria’s future.
Hastily she packed up a few belongings, gathered everyone together, and under the cover of nightfall, somehow shepherded her stricken family through the mountains to a small town. The all-night journey on foot was slow and arduous. They had to be careful not to make any noise in case the terrorists heard them. With the little money they had, Maria and her exhausted family boarded a bus to the Venezuelan border. There were several checkpoints there, and having no papers, Maria had to muster all of her persuasive skills to convince the guards to let them through. Hugo, her husband, was also very sick.
A local woman, whose daughter was from Colombia, noticed their plight and arranged for them to stay with her in Caracas. After months of applying for refugee status at various embassies, a door finally opened—Canada had accepted them! Maria had no idea where Canada was and had never been on a plane in her life. A few days later, she and her family arrived in Toronto on a very cold January day, determined to start a new life.
As of this writing, her boys are doing well in school, Maria is slowly learning English, and Luz, her daughter, is now walking, thanks to the care of some very skilled doctors and nurses. Life is still full of challenges as this new adventure unfolds, but Maria’s immense gratitude shines through her eyes, with everyone she meets.
We all face defining moments that can transform our lives in positive ways, if we are prepared to step into our fear, and then focus and follow through with courage and determination.
Are you facing a defining moment that requires immediate action?
Your situation may not be as dramatic as Maria’s; however, if it’s significant to you, that’s all that matters. Step out with boldness into the unknown and trust in yourself and intuition will carry you through. When your belief is strong and your action unstoppable, an unseen force supports your efforts—many call it divine intervention—and removes all obstacles. Your path becomes clear and unobstructed. Who knows what great rewards are waiting for you when you develop the habit of enthusiastic focused action. But like Maria, once you commit, there is no turning back. It’s onward and upward!
While Maria’s story is inspiring, here is the takeaway message that’s important:
Life doesn’t just happen to you. It’s all about choices and how you respond to every situation. If you are in the habit of continually making bad choices, disaster often occurs. Your everyday choices ultimately determine whether you end up living with abundance or living in poverty. However, life never completely closes the door to opportunity.
To give you a simple visual, imagine you are holding a long white plastic chain that is twenty feet in length. The chain is made up of a few hundred individual links that are attached to each other.
Now imagine each link is a bad choice. Each bad choice is attached to another bad choice. A whole bunch of bad choices eventually becomes a habit. Now, imagine you are holding this plastic chain with your arms held high and you start passing the chain through your hands, from the first link until you come to about the middle of the chain. The last link that passed through looks no different from the very first link. That’s just like a bad habit. We don’t notice anything really changing—there are no negative results showing up. This could be a period of weeks or months. Keep passing the chain along until you are almost at the end—representing years. Suddenly you notice a very large knot in the chain. Do you know what that’s called? A crisis! Heart attack, home foreclosure, divorce—and you didn’t see it coming.
Consistent choices lay the foundation for your habits, as you’ll find out in the next few pages. And your habits play a major role in how your future unfolds. This includes the habits you display to the business world every day, as well as the variety of behaviors that show up in your personal life.
Throughout this book, you’ll find strategies that can be applied to both work and home. Your job is to review all of them and implement the ones that will give you the greatest rewards. By the way, all of these strategies work equally well for men and women. They are not gender specific. If you haven’t noticed, one of the most exciting developments in the marketplace today is the rapid growth of women entrepreneurs.
In this chapter, we’ve laid out the most important elements about habits. First you’ll discover how habits really work. Then you’ll learn how to identify bad habits and how to change them. This will allow you to check out your own specific habits and determine which ones are unproductive. Finally, we’ll show you a unique Successful Habits Formula, a simple but powerful strategy that will help you transform your bad habits into successful habits. Using this technique will ensure that you stay focused on what works, instead of what doesn’t work.
Successful people have successful habits
Unsuccessful People Don’t!
How HABITS Really Work
Your habits WILL determine your future
What is a habit? Simply stated, a habit is something you do so often it becomes easy. In other words, it’s a behavior that you keep repeating. If you persist at developing a new behavior, eventually it becomes automatic.
For example, if you learn to drive a car with a standard gearshift, the first few lessons are usually interesting. One of the big challenges is figuring out how to synchronize the clutch and accelerator pedals so you have a nice, smooth gear change. If you release the clutch too quickly, the car stalls. If you press down too hard on the accelerator without releasing the clutch, the engine roars but you don’t go anywhere. Sometimes the car jumps down the street like a kangaroo, surging and stopping as the new driver struggles with the pedals. However, with practice, the gear change eventually becomes smooth and you don’t think about it anymore.
Les:
“For years I dabbled at playing golf and my scores proved it. I’d take an eight or a nine at several holes and end up with a score north of one hundred. Occasionally I took lessons and noticed some improvement. Then I wouldn’t play for months and I’d still expect to produce a reasonable score. This is called living an illusion! I finally set a goal—to break ninety consistently. To accomplish this, I decided to create new habits; practice a little every day, study the top players, take regular lessons, and play twice a week. It’s working—I just shot an eighty six!”
The great news is that you can reprogram yourself any time you choose to do so. If you’re struggling financially, this is important to know!
Let’s say you want to be financially independent. Doesn’t it make sense to check your financial habits? Are you in the habit of paying yourself first every month? Do you consistently save and invest at least 10 percent of your income? The answer is either “yes” or “no.” Immediately you can see if you are moving in the right direction. The key word here is consistent. That means every month. And every month is a good habit. Most people dabble when it comes to growing their money. They are very inconsistent.
Suppose you start a savings and investment program. For the first six months you diligently put your ten percent away according to plan. Then something happens. You borrow the money to take a vacation, and you tell yourself you’ll make it up in the next few months. Of course you don’t—and your financial independence program is stalled before it even gets off the ground! The solution is called a no exceptions policy. In other words, you commit to your better financial future every single day. It’s what separates the people who have from the people who don’t have. (In chapter nine, Taking Decisive Action, you’ll learn a lot more about wealth creation.)
Let’s look at another situation. If maintaining excellent health is high on your list of priorities, exercising three times a week may be the minimum standard to keep you in shape. A no exceptions policy means you will maintain this exercise habit no matter what happens, because you value the long-term benefits.
People who dabble at change will quit after a few weeks or months. And they usually have a long list of excuses why it didn’t work out for them. If you want to distance yourself from the masses and enjoy a unique lifestyle, understand this—your habits will determine your future.
It’s that important. Remember, successful people don’t drift to the top. It takes focused action, personal discipline and lots of energy every day to make things happen. The habits you develop from this day forward will ultimately determine how your future works out. Rich or poor. Healthy or unhealthy. Fulfilled or unfulfilled. Happy or unhappy. It’s your choice, so choose wisely.
Your habits will determine
your quality of life
Many people today are concerned about their lifestyle. Phrases like, “I’m looking for a better quality of life,” or “I just want to simplify my life,” are now commonplace. Recently, many people are rethinking their lives after experiencing devastating financial losses in the stock market or losing their homes to foreclosure. It seems the headlong rush for material success and all the trappings of a so-called successful life are now out of reach. Here’s a critically important point to digest. To be truly rich includes not only financial freedom but developing rich, meaningful relationships, enriching your health, and enjoying a rich balance between your career and your personal life.
The nourishment of your own spirit or soul is also an essential requirement. This takes time to explore and expand. It is a never-ending process. The more you learn about yourself—how you think, how you feel, what your true purpose is and how you want to live—the more your life will flow.
Instead of just working hard every week or worrying about your job, you will begin to make better choices based on intuition and instinctively knowing the right thing to do. It is this higher level of awareness that determines your daily quality of life. In chapter ten, Living On Purpose, we’ll show you a unique system that will make all of this possible for you. Reassessing your options regularly is a very good habit to develop.
The results of your bad habits usually don’t show up until much later in life
Please make sure you are really alert before you read the next two paragraphs. If you’re not, go splash some cold water on your face so you will not miss the importance of this fundamental concept.
More people than ever are living for immediate gratification. They buy things they can’t really afford and put off payment as far down the road as possible. Cars, furniture, appliances, entertainment systems, or the latest “toy,” just to name a few. People in the habit of doing this have a sense of playing catch-up all the time. There’s always another payment next month. This often results in working longer hours or taking an additional job just to make ends meet, creating even more stress.
Taken to an extreme, if your expenses constantly exceed your income, you will have an ultimate outcome. It’s called bankruptcy! When you develop a chronic bad habit, life will eventually give you consequences. And you may not like the consequences. Here’s what you need to really understand: Life will still give you the consequences. Whether you like it or not isn’t the issue. The fact is, if you keep on doing things a certain way you will always get a predictable result. Negative habits breed negative consequences. Successful habits create positive rewards. That’s just the way life is. And sadly, in The Great Recession of 2008, millions of Americans discovered the harsh reality of this fundamental truth.
Let’s look at a few other examples. If you want to enjoy longevity, you must have healthy habits. Practicing good nutrition, exercising and studying longevity play a major role here.
The reality? Most of the population in the Western world is overweight, under-exercised and undernourished. How would you explain that? Again, it’s a live-for-the-moment attitude, with little or no thought given to future consequences. There’s a long list when it comes to health. Here are a couple—working fourteen hours per day seven days a week will lead to eventual burnout. When you’re eating fast foods or junk food on the run as a daily habit, the combination of stress and high cholesterol produces a much greater risk of heart attacks and strokes. These are life-threatening consequences, yet many people ignore the obvious and roll merrily along, undaunted by the fact that a major crisis may be looming just around the corner. For example, according to 2008 American Heart Association statistics, more than 82 million people have a significant risk for heart disease. The cost of this in 2007 was over $286 billion!
Look at relationships. Marriage is in trouble, with almost 50 percent ending up in divorce. If you are in the habit of starving your most important relationships of time, energy and love, how can you expect a happy outcome?
When it comes to money, your bad habits may lead you to a never-ending cycle of work in your later years, when you’d rather be enjoying more time off for fun.
Now here’s some really good news:
you can turn negative consequences into positive rewards
Simply By Changing Your Habits Now.
Jack:
Personally, my best new habit is getting more sleep. I had been living on 6½ hours for a long time because I could. Between 6½ and 8 hours of sleep is when the human growth hormone kicks in, which keeps the body young and also builds muscle. That last hour and a half is also when the body does the most cleansing. The immune system does the most healing on the body in deep sleep, so I’ve just committed to sleeping more. I’m going to bed more at 11 pm and getting up at 7 am. instead of going to bed at
1 am and getting up at 7 am.
The other big habit is, I’m networking more than I used to. I was so tied up reading to expand my knowledge base and doing searches on the internet that I wasn’t building my relationships. If you don’t talk to people, you don’t have any kind of ability to deepen the relationship. If you continuously nurture your most important relationships, then when you need something, they’re willing to help you because you’re not just calling them only when you need them.
Another essential business habit in today’s world is for people to become better storytellers. Good salespeople and good CEOs know how to tell a story, because what Velcro’s to a person’s mind is a story. I remember my dad telling me about the guy who started National Cash Register (NCR), the company where my dad worked. He was showing some Japanese prospects his cash registers and hoping they’d buy a bunch of them. These were the old style cash registers where you pushed down keys like the old typewriters. The drawer would pop open and the numbers would appear in the glass above. The owner was taking these people around illustrating how one of them worked—and it didn’t work! Noticing a sledgehammer nearby, he picked it up and just beat the crap out of the cash register. Then he said, “That’s what we do with cash registers that don’t work at NCR. They never leave the building!” You tell that story to illustrate that you are committed to excellence.
Developing successful habits takes time
How long does it take to change a habit? The most common answers to this question are, “about twenty-one days,” or “three to four weeks.” This is probably true for making small adjustments in your behavior.
What you’ll find is, that after twenty-one to thirty experiences with a new habit, it’s harder not to do it than to do it. Before you can change a habit you need to first check how long you have owned it. If you have been doing something repeatedly for thirty years you may not be able to let go of it in a few short weeks. Acknowledge the fact that a deeply entrenched habit has long roots. It’s like trying to sever a multistranded fiber that has molded itself, over time, into a single powerful rope. It’s very hard to break. Long-time smokers know how difficult it is to break the nicotine habit. Many never do, despite the overwhelming evidence that proves smoking can significantly shorten your life expectancy.
As well, people with a long history of low self-esteem won’t transform themselves into highly confident individuals, ready to take on the world, in twenty-one days. It may take a year or more to develop positive belief systems. These important transitions can affect both your professional and personal life.
Another factor about changing habits is the potential for slipping back into your old patterns. This can happen when stress levels rise or an unexpected crisis occurs. The new habit may not be strong enough to resist these circumstances, and more time, energy and effort will be required. To ensure consistency, astronauts use a checklist for every single procedure to ensure the same results every time. You can create a similar fail-safe system. It just takes practice. And it’s well worth the effort, as you’ll see shortly.
Imagine if you only changed four habits every year. Five years from now you would have twenty positive new habits. Now, here’s the thing—would twenty positive new habits make a difference in your results? Of course. Twenty successful habits can bring you all the money you want or need, wonderful loving relationships, a healthier and more energized physical body, plus all sorts of new opportunities. And what if you created more than four new habits every year? Think of the possibilities!
Up to 47 percent of our everyday
behavior is habitual
Les:
I remember losing my keys on a regular basis. At the end of the day I’d park the car in the garage, march into the house and toss my keys anywhere they happened to land. Later I’d be going out to a meeting and, of course, I couldn’t find my keys. As the treasure hunt for my keys took place, my stress level would noticeably increase, and after the keys were finally found, I’d rush off to my meeting twenty-five minutes late, owning an attitude that would not be described as positive.
The solution to this recurring problem was simple. One day I nailed a block of wood to the wall facing the garage door. It had two hooks on it and a large label that said, “keys.”
The next evening I came home, strode past my new parking spot for the keys, and tossed them in some remote corner of the room. Why? Because that’s what I’d always done. It took me almost thirty days of forcing myself to hang them on the wall before my brain got the message: “I guess we’re doing something different now,” and a new habit was finally formed. I never lose my keys anymore, but it took a considerable effort to retrain myself.
As mentioned earlier, many of our daily activities are simply routines. From the time you get up in the morning until you retire at night, there are hundreds of things you do the same way. These include the way you dress, get ready for the day, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, drive to the office, greet people, arrange your desk, check your email, set up appointments, work on projects, attend meetings, answer the phone and so on. If you’ve been doing these same activities for years, you have a set of firmly entrenched habits. They involve every area of your life including your work, family, income, health, relationships and many more. The sum total of these habits determines how your life operates. Simply stated, this is your normal behavior.
As creatures of habit we are very predictable. In many ways this is good because others may view us as reliable, dependable and consistent. (It’s interesting to note that people who are very unpredictable also have a habit—the habit of inconsistency!)
However, with too much routine, complacency sets in and life becomes boring. We settle for less than we are capable of. In fact, many of the activities that make up our everyday normal behavior are performed unconsciously—without thinking. Here’s the point: Your everyday normal behavior has a lot to do with the results in your life. If you’re not happy with these results, something has to change.
Nothing much in your life will change, until you do!
Once a new habit is well-developed,
it becomes your new
normal behavior
This is great news! By superimposing a new behavior on top of your present behavior, you can create an entirely new way of doing things. This new normal behavior then becomes your new standard of performance and productivity. In other words, you simply start replacing your old bad habits with new successful habits.
For example, if you always show up late for meetings, your stress levels are probably high and you feel unprepared. To improve this, make a commitment that you will arrive ten minutes early for every appointment during the next four weeks. If you discipline yourself to complete this process, you will notice two things:
1. The first week or two will be tough. In fact, you may need to give yourself a few mental pep talks just to keep yourself on track.
2. The more often you show up on time, the easier it becomes. Then one day it becomes normal behavior. It’s like being re-programmed. And you’ll discover that the benefits of the new program far outweigh the results of the old one.
By systematically improving one behavior at a time you can dramatically improve your overall lifestyle. This includes your health, income, relationships and time off for fun.
Mark:
Regarding health habits, I’m at the fittest I’ve ever been. I’m more conscious now, thanks to my wife Crystal’s expertise and support. I’m more aware of the way that my body moves. I was starting to slump over because, you know, older people forget to take their vitamins and nutraceuticals and they forget to exercise at least an hour a day. Physically, you’ve got to have flexibility, and you’ve got to have balance. And each one of these requires a decision regarding the amount of effort you are going to expend to maximize your fitness as you grow older. I spend a lot of money on my health using acuscopes and myoscopes, which are sophisticated electronic instruments for energetic healing.
My best new habit regarding business is meditating every day in order to get in what I call an athletic zone, or the vortex, experiencing the “feeling” consciousness. This creates the habit of awareness, being where you want to be before you actually get there. You’ve got to be at the end result. For example, I could see Chicken Soup for the Soul was going to be number one while everyone was rejecting us, saying, “That will never work.” However, we took ownership and it happened.
Decisiveness separates great leaders
from dreamers and talkers.
How to IDENTIFY Bad Habits
Be aware of the habits that are not working for you
Many of our habits, patterns, idiosyncrasies and quirks are invisible, causing renowned author Oliver Wendell Holmes to observe, “We all need an education in the obvious.” So let’s look more closely at the habits that are holding you back. You are probably conscious of a few right away. Here are some common ones we have received from clients in our workshops.
- Not returning phone calls on time.
- Being late for meetings and appointments.
- Poor communication between colleagues and staff.
- Never updating your website.
- Not allowing enough travel time when going to meet clients or prospects for outside appointments.
- Not attending to paperwork quickly and efficiently.
- Wasting time on the Internet.
- Allowing bills to go unpaid, resulting in high interest penalties.
- Not following up consistently on long
overdue receivables. - Talking instead of listening.
- Forgetting someone’s name sixty seconds (or less) after being introduced.
- Hitting the snooze alarm several times in the morning before getting out of bed.
- Working long days with no exercise or taking regular breaks.
- Not spending enough time with your children.
- Having a fast-food meals program that often is Monday to Friday.
- Eating at irregular times of the day.
- Leaving home in the morning without hugging your wife, husband, children and/or dog.
- Taking work home with you.
- Being glued to your PDA when having dinner with your spouse.
- Making reservations at the last minute (restaurant, travel plans, theatre, concerts).
- Not following through on requests as promised.
- Not taking enough time off for fun and family—guilt free!
- Having your cell phone on all the time.
- Not deleting old emails.
- Controlling every decision, especially the small stuff you need to let go of!
- Procrastinating on everything from filing taxes to cleaning out your garage.
Now check yourself out by making a list of all the habits that keep you unproductive. Block off an hour so you can really think through this process. And plan it so you won’t be interrupted. It’s a worthy exercise and will give you a strong foundation for improving your results in the years ahead. In fact, these bad habits, or obstacles to your goals, really act as a springboard to your future success. Until you clearly understand what is holding you back, it’s difficult to create more productive habits. The Successful Habits Formula at the end of this chapter will show you a practical way to transform your bad habits into successful strategies.
Another way to identify your unproductive behavior is to ask for feedback. Talk to people you respect and admire, who know you well. Ask them what they observe about your bad habits. Look for consistency. If you talk to ten people and eight of them say you never respond to important emails on time, pay attention. Remember this—your outward behavior is the truth, whereas your inner perception of your behavior is often an illusion.
If you are open to good honest feedback, you can make adjustments quickly and eliminate bad habits permanently.
Your habits and belief systems
are a product of your environment
This is an extremely important insight. Understand that the people you hang around with and the environment you live in strongly influence what you do. A person brought up in a negative environment, continually subjected to physical or verbal abuse, has a different view of the world than a child reared in a warm, loving and supportive family. Their attitudes and levels of self-esteem are different. Abusive environments often produce feelings of unworthiness and a lack of confidence, not to mention fear. This negative belief system, if carried into adult life, can produce all sorts of unproductive habits including drug addiction, criminal activity and an inability to mold a steady career path.
Peer pressure also plays a negative or positive role. If you hang around people who are always complaining about how bad everything is, you may start believing what they say. On the other hand, if you surround yourself with people who are strong and positive, you’re more likely to see a world full of opportunity and adventure.
Even if you were unfortunate enough to have a severely disadvantaged background, you can still make changes. And it may only take one person to help you make the transition. An excellent coach, teacher, therapist, mentor or positive role model can dramatically impact your future. The only prerequisite is that you must commit to change. When you are ready to do so, the right people will start showing up to help you. In our experience, that well-known saying, “When the pupil is ready the teacher appears,” is true.
How to CHANGE
Bad Habits
Study the habits of
successful role models
As mentioned before, successful people have developed successful habits. Learn to observe what those habits are. Study successful people. As well-known business philosopher Jim Rohn said, “They leave clues.” What if you were to interview one successful person every month? Take him or her out to breakfast or lunch and ask lots of good questions about their disciplines, routines and habits. What do they read? What clubs and associations do they belong to? How do they schedule their time? If you listen well and take good notes, you’ll have a wealth of powerful ideas in a very short time. And if your request is sincere, truly successful people are happy to share their ideas. They enjoy the opportunity to coach people who are genuinely interested in improving their lives.
Jack and Mark:
When we finished writing the first Chicken Soup for the Soul book, we asked all of the bestselling authors we know—Barbara De Angelis, John Gray, Ken Blanchard, Harvey Mackay, Harold Bloomfield, Wayne Dyer and Scott Peck—what specific strategies would be required to assure that our book would become a bestseller. All of these people were generous with their ideas and their insights. We did everything we were told. We made a habit of doing a minimum of one radio interview a day, seven days a week, for two years. We retained our own publicist. We sent out five books a day to reviewers and other potential opinion molders. We gave newspapers and magazines free reprint rights to our stories. We offered motivational seminars to all of the people responsible for selling our books. In short, we asked what our bestselling habits should be and we put them into action. As a result, we have sold 500 million books to date worldwide. (To put this into perspective, at this writing, the entire Harry Potter series has sold about 450 million copies in at least seventy languages.)
The trouble is, most people won’t ask. Instead, they come up with all sorts of excuses. They’re too busy, or they rationalize that successful people wouldn’t have time for them, and how do you find these people anyway? Successful people aren’t standing on every street corner waiting to be interviewed. That’s right. Remember, it’s a study. That means you need to be resourceful and come up with ways to find where these successful people work, live, eat and hang out. Make it a game. Have fun. It’s worth it! (In Chapter 5, which focuses on the habit of Building Excellent Relationships, you’ll discover how to find and contact successful mentors.)
Here’s another way to study successful people: Read their autobiographies and biographies. There are hundreds of them. These are wonderful true stories packed with ideas, and the books are in your local library, in bookstores, and downloadable online. Read one every month, and you’ll gain more insights in a year than many university courses could offer.
Also, be alert for special documentaries that feature successful people. Another habit the three of us have developed is listening to motivational and educational audio programs when we are driving, walking or exercising. If you listen to an audio for thirty minutes each day, five days a week, in ten years you’ll have been exposed to over thirteen hundred hours of new and useful information. This is a habit that almost all of the successful people we know have developed. (For some of the best, see our Resource Guide on page 343.)
Our friend Jim Rohn said, “If you read one book every month about your industry, in ten years you’ll have read 120 books. That will put you in the top one percent of your field.” Conversely, Jim wisely noted, “All the books you haven’t read won’t help you!” The internet is a wonderful source for inspirational videos, music, apps, and training programs. All this terrific information is out there waiting for you. So feast on it, and watch your awareness soar. Pretty soon, if you apply what you learn, your income will soar too.
Develop the habit of changing your habits
People who are rich in every sense of the word understand that life is a learning experience. It never stops. Learn to constantly refine your habits. There’s always another level to reach for, no matter how good you are right now. When you constantly strive to improve, you build character. You become more as a person, and you have more to offer. It’s an exciting journey that ultimately leads to fulfillment and prosperity. Unfortunately, sometimes we learn the lessons the hard way.
Les:
On a routine visit to my doctor for a check up, I learned that my triglycerides were a little high as was my “bad” cholesterol. I was also advised to lose ten pounds of weight as my body mass index (BMI) was creeping outside the normal healthy adult range of 20–25. So what do you do when the evidence is there in black and white? Two choices. Ignore the numbers or start thinking about the consequences down the road—diabetes and heart disease quickly came to mind.
I’ve always believed in taking preventative action when it comes to my health. Waiting until a crisis occurred was never very appealing to me! However, I had allowed myself to slip into a few bad habits and ignored some early warning signals. It’s easy to make excuses when you are busy in your business. I decided a few changes were necessary concerning my daily eating habits. Upon reflection, I realized my sugar intake was high. My healthy breakfast (I thought) consisted of three mixed cereals and three or four portions of fresh fruit. A nutritionist informed me this was far too much sugar to start my day. First wake-up call! On further reflection, I realized I was consuming more soda and high sugar drinks than normal. And in times of pressure deadlines at work, chocolate and cookies had become my daily comfort food. Adding this all up resulted in a case of the blindingly obvious! Too much sugar—more body bulge—negative test results.
Dear reader, if you find yourself in the same boat, take heart: there’s a simple solution. For me, the new habits were to cut out the chocolate and cookies cold turkey and spread my eating throughout the day with smaller portions. And guess what happened? I lost sixteen pounds in two months and my triglycerides were back to normal, as was my BMI index.
My energy is great, I’m more focused and more confident now that I’ve taken better control of my health just by making a few adjustments. Was letting go of the sugary drinks and chocolate really tough to do? Surprisingly not, although I still enjoy an occasional cookie. I mean, life is meant to be enjoyed, right?
The big insight for me was to not become complacent regarding these important aspects of my life. Complacency precedes dangerous consequences. Stay alert!
The point of this story is to illustrate how life will always give you consequences related to your actions. So before you embark on a specific course, look ahead. Are you creating negative consequences or potential rewards? Be clear in your thinking. Do some research. Ask questions before you start any new habits. If you do this, you’ll enjoy more of life’s pleasures, and not be screaming for morphine to kill your pain!
Now that you understand how habits really work and how to identify them, let’s conclude with the most important part —how to permanently change your habits.
As well as making a list of your bad habits, here’s a few questions to stimulate your thinking.
- Are my financial habits helping me reach my most important financial goals?
For example: Financial Freedom, that is, having the choice to do whatever I want without worrying about the cost. - Are any of my current health habits jeopardizing my future wellbeing?
For example: no exercise and consuming high calorie foods. - What communication habits do I need to improve?
For example: better listening, speaking clearly, being empathetic, less controlling. - What habits do I have that may be hurting my family relationships?
For example: not paying attention, being self-centered, perfectionism.
The Successful HABITS Formula
This is a step-by-step method to help you create better habits. It works because it’s simple. You don’t need complicated strategies. This template can be applied to any area of your life, business or personal. If applied consistently, it will help you achieve everything you want. There are three simple fundamental steps:
1. Clearly identify your bad or unproductive habits
It’s important that you really think about the future consequences of your bad habits. These may not show up tomorrow, next week or next month. The real impact could be years away. When you look at your unproductive behavior one day at a time, it may not look so bad. The smoker says, “What’s a few cigarettes today? It helps me relax. I’m not wheezing and coughing.” However, the days accumulate and twenty years later in the doctor’s office, the X-rays are conclusive. Consider this: If you smoke ten cigarettes a day for twenty years, that’s seventy three thousand cigarettes. Do you think seventy three thousand cigarettes could have an impact on your lungs? Of course! In fact, the consequences can be deadly. So when you examine your own bad habits, consider the long-term implications. Be totally honest. Your life may be at stake.
Tobacco use is the leading preventable cause of death. On average, adults who smoke cigarettes die fourteen years earlier than non-smokers. Source: CDC
2. Define your new successful habit
Usually this is just the opposite of your bad habit. In the smoker’s example it would be, “Stop Smoking.” What are you actually going to do? To motivate yourself, think about all the benefits and rewards for adopting your new successful habit. This helps you create a clear picture of what this new habit will do for you. The more vividly you describe the benefits, the more likely you are to take action.
3. Create a three-part action plan
This is where the rubber meets the road. In the smoking example there are several options. Read how-to-stop-smoking literature. Start hypnosis therapy. Substitute something else when the desire for a cigarette arises. Place a bet with a friend to keep you accountable. Start a fresh air exercise program. Use a nicotine patch treatment. Stay away from other smokers. The important thing is to make a decision about which specific actions you are going to implement.
You must take action. Start with one habit that you really want to change. You can apply this to any area of your life. Focus on your three immediate action steps and put them into practice. Remember, nothing will change until you do.
Insights
As we get older, the world continues to evolve, and along with it, so do our habits. Here are a few current habits that have become normal daily behavior across the globe: text messaging, online shopping, music and movie downloads, plus apps for just about anything we need.
However, what we have noticed is, the more connected we become electronically, the less connected we are physically and emotionally.
This has some serious consequences if we are not smart enough to look down the road. Throughout our own careers, we’ve discovered communication is one of the most important life skills. The habit of excellent communication is essential for businesses and individuals to thrive. Although group conference calls and video meetings undoubtedly save significant expense on travel and can create quicker action within teams, they will never be a complete substitute for sitting down face to face. This is especially true when presenting your product or service for the first time. There are so many subtle nuances that will not be picked up on a video screen.
When face to face, the presenter always has the advantage of creating direct emotional energy. The ability to respond immediately and confidently to unexpected objections, and ultimately to close the sale, is often related to the dynamic energy that has been created “live” in the room. Have you forsaken the power of personal presentations for the deceptive comfort of technology? This is especially valid if you are working on a major deal or building a relationship with an influential people-connector.
On the home front, statistics prove that families who are in the habit of eating together, especially at dinner time, communicate better and deepen their relationships. Families who are splintered and polarized have opposite habits. They often eat alone and allow their electronic devices to take priority. Many kids prefer playing a video game to family discussion. You can imagine the future consequences from this bad habit.
As we have said before, successful people and families have successful habits.
Is it time for you to change some of your current habits, especially the ones that may be driving a wedge into your most important relationships?
One of the things you really want to get clear about is knowing that anything you want to improve—your health, relationships, or even your golf game—requires a set of easy to measure, actionable habits. When the outcome you want is clear, then it’s just a matter of commitment and following through each week on your best actions, until they become second nature. We want you to experience a transformation in your results and in your lifestyle. The next chapter will build on what you’ve learned about habits. It’s all about focusing your power.
Expect some breakthroughs!
“Power is the faculty or capacity to act, the strength and potency to accomplish something. It is the vital energy to make choices and decisions.
It also includes the capacity to overcome deeply embedded habits and to cultivate higher, more effective ones.”
—Stephen R. Covey
Action Steps
A. Successful People I Want to Interview
Make a list of people you respect, who have already done extremely well. Set a goal to invite each of them to breakfast, or lunch, or book an appointment at their office. Remember to take a notebook or a recorder with you to capture their best ideas.
Name Phone Interview Date
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
B. The Successful Habits Formula
Look at the following examples. There are three sections—A, B and C. In section A, define the unproductive habit that is holding you back. Be specific.
Then consider the consequences if you keep repeating this behavior. Every action you take has consequences. Bad habits (negative behavior) produce negative consequences. Successful habits (positive behavior) produce benefits and rewards.
In section B, define your successful new habit. Usually all you need to do here is write the opposite of what you had in section A. If your bad habit was taking too much work home on weekends, your new habit could be to keep weekends free for fun and family. In section C, list the three action steps you will take to turn your new habit into reality. Be specific. Pick a start date and get going!
Example:
Taking too much work home on weekends
consequences:
Family time restricted, feeling guilty, important relationships become polarized, marriage breakdown
Example:
Completely free up weekends from work
benefits:
More relaxed, rejuvenated and refreshed mentally, reduced stress levels, create unique family experiences
1. Design my work better by not overcommitting.
2. Delegate secondary tasks to staff to free up my time.
3. Have my family keep me accountable. No golf if I don’t follow through!
Start Date: February 3rd.
Example:
Making bad investment decisions like get-rich-quick schemes or overly risky stocks
consequences:
Embarrassment, decreased net worth, increased family stress, need to work extra years to recoup losses
Example:
Invest wisely in the areas that I know best
benefits:
Peace of mind, security, confidence restored, better focus, healthy net worth, future freedom
1. Find an excellent financial mentor whose advice
I can trust.
2. Create a solid financial plan that is aligned with my new risk tolerance level.
3. Set up an auto debit plan to save 10 percent of my monthly income.
Start Date: Monday, 19th March.
On a separate sheet use the same format to determine your own new habit. Do it Now!
