TEN
With Christmas falling on a Sunday, most churches in the area decided to close their doors so that families could stay home and celebrate the holiday together. But that wasn’t the case with Kingdom Builders Christian Center. Pastor Charles Loather Jr. said Christmas was the day that most believers celebrated the birth of Christ, and it just didn’t make sense to him that on the day set aside to recognize Jesus’ birth, people locked up the church and celebrated everything except that as they sat home eating, talking, laughing, exchanging gifts, watching television, and then eating some more.
“When I was growing up,” CJ said, trying to wind down the spirited Christmas message that he had just preached, “nobody could throw a party like my daddy. Charles Loather Sr. would put together the absolute best birthday parties. My mama would make the cake, but that was as much as she did, because even she knew that when it came to celebrating birthdays, my daddy was the man for the job. And going to a park or a restaurant on my birthday every now and then was cool, but there just wasn’t no party like the ones held at my daddy’s house.”
Neil broke into a grin because he knew where CJ was going with this analogy.
“What I’m trying to say,” he continued, “is celebrating Christmas at your house once in a while might be all right.” Many of the audience members jumped to their feet, and if CJ said much more on the subject, they looked ready to start the shout-a-thon they’d had earlier all over again. “But since it’s Sunday anyhow,” their pastor challenged, “what better place to hold Jesus’ birthday party than in His Daddy’s house? The invitation sent from heaven said that RSVPs weren’t necessary and walk-ins were welcome; so come on in, ’cause can’t nobody throw a party like His Father.”
“Go ’head, Pastor,” Neil heard himself say.
“We love to say, ‘Jesus is the reason for the season,”’ CJ pointed out, “but is He truly at the forefront of our minds on this day?”
Ouch! Neil felt like that one was tailor-made for him. The plans he had for later today had been priority in his mind all day long.
“I’m gonna just let that one marinade, ’cause I’m done,” CJ said, using a blue hand towel to wipe perspiration from his face. “We’re just about ready to go home, but we have to pray first.” He pointed toward the center section of the church. “Didn’t our youth department do a beautiful job reenacting the birth of our Lord?”
A collective, loud “Amen” echoed in the sanctuary. It was followed by rousing applause. Some of the members of the congregation remained on their feet, giving the youngsters a standing ovation.
From the deacon’s corner, Neil’s eyes focused on Chase, who sat on the front row along with some of the others who had actively participated in the dramatization. Chase had played the part of one of the wise men who sought the Christ child. He only had one line, but he recited it well. He was still clad in his white sheet and headdress, and in his lap he held the box that was supposed to contain the gold that was brought to the manger scene. Chase caught Neil looking at him and smiled. Returning the grin, Neil threw up his hand and motioned like he was giving the boy a high five from across the room. Chase raised his hand and did the same. How ironic that they were both left-handed. Neil had often wondered if Emmett was a lefty too, but he’d never bothered to ask. It didn’t matter.
In Neil’s heart, Chase was his son, and in the glove compartment of his truck, he had a box tucked away that contained a little gold of its own that would make it official. Over the two weeks that had passed since mending things with Shaylynn, their relationship had strengthened. If it were possible, Neil had fallen even deeper in love; so much so, that his dreams of her were bordering on becoming unrighteous. There was just too much adoration and attraction for her bottled up on the inside of him, and Neil desired to share it with her ... in every way. Margaret would have a field day if she knew that. She’d repeatedly warned him of what could happen, but Neil wasn’t about to continue like this. He had no intention of starting the New Year without Shaylynn as a fiancee, and their engagement couldn’t last more than six months. If it drew out any longer, he’d explode. Of course, all his plans were contingent upon her accepting his proposal, and Neil knew that there was a possibility that she wouldn’t, but he had to trust his heart on this one. It was time to go for it.
School was out for the holiday, so Neil had spent much of Friday morning at Deacon Burgess’s home, delivering Teena’s weekly pay and then sitting with her over cups of hot coffee and fresh-baked cinnamon rolls, discussing Homer’s well-being. Physically, he was doing about as well as could be expected of a man of his advanced years. Mentally, though, the outlook wasn’t so bright. It concerned Neil how quickly Homer’s mind was deteriorating. It didn’t seem that long ago that Alzheimer’s was just beginning to creep in. Neil wasn’t an expert on the subject, but he’d always thought the progression was much slower. Over the past ten months or so, the change in Homer had been drastic.
Not only was he chronically forgetful, but now they had to concern themselves with him wandering off if no one was around. There were days when he still thought he could get in his car and drive himself, and days when he thought he could turn on the stove and cook his own meals. Those were no-no’s, and in the past two weeks, Teena had virtually moved in the man’s house so that he could be under constant surveillance. She said she didn’t mind the change. For her, it wasn’t exactly an inconvenience. Deacon Burgess’s house was larger and nicer than hers. Moving in with him rescued her from the long commutes to and from his home each day and from hearing the noises of the planes as they took off and landed at Hartsfield-Jackson Airport, which was located so near her apartment complex that she rarely had a peaceful night’s sleep.
For the duration of Neil’s visit, Homer sat on the living room sofa, watching the Game Show Network while eating his favorite egg salad finger sandwiches that Teena had made for him. He still had a healthy appetite, and that was good. Neil sat on the sofa with him for a while and tried to have a normal conversation, but most of the things Homer would say in reply didn’t make much sense. However, just as Neil was ending his visit and was preparing to walk out the door, Homer said seven words that stopped him in his tracks.
“You bought back that girl’s ring yet?”
When Neil turned from the door to face the living room, Homer was looking him square in the eyes, but only for a moment before the old man shoved a sandwich in his mouth and shifted his eyes back at the television screen. Neil had lost him before he ever had a chance to respond. It was easy to see from the far-away expression on Homer’s face that he was again back in his own world ... population one. But his momentary sanity was enough to send Neil straight to the jewelry store. This time, he didn’t go to Jared; he went back to Menorah Jewelers and was elated to find that the ring that had initially captured his attention was still there waiting. Like it didn’t want to be purchased by anyone but him. Like it had been made for Shaylynn’s finger only. Just as in times past, Rabbi Ezra Bernstein greeted Neil warmly by name and with a knowing smile, but this time when Neil walked out the door, he didn’t walk out empty-handed.
“In John 1:1, the Bible tells us, ‘In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.’ So Jesus Christ is the Word,” CJ stressed, getting Neil’s full attention once more. “That being the case, when He came to us wrapped in swaddling clothing and lying in that manger, that was the Word made flesh. Amen?”
“Amen,” several voices replied.
Despite the fact that CJ had closed his Bible said that he was finished sermonizing for the day, a familiar female voice in the crowd called out, “You preaching good, Pastor.”
Neil couldn’t see Margaret, but he knew it was her. Apparently, CJ did too.
“What can I say, Sister Dasher? It’s what I do.” CJ’s quick wit drew a wave of laughter from the audience, and without skipping a beat, he continued. “People could actually see Jesus. Do you know how awesome that had to be? With their own eyes, they could see the Son of God. The Christ Child. The Great I Am. The everlasting Promise. The Word. They didn’t just hear about Him. They saw Him. They watched Him grow. Anybody could converse face-to-face with Him. Anybody could see Him perform miracles. Anybody could hear Him preach and teach. Anybody could touch Him as He passed by. Anybody could follow Him from city to city. Anybody could ... yet so many chose not to.” CJ shook his head, and again used his towel to wipe residue sweat from his forehead. “Imagine that. Seeing Jesus Christ in the flesh, but still not believing.”
“Lawd, ha’ mercy. Imagine that.”
Neil looked at Deacon Burgess, who sat right beside him. He had passionately muttered the words like he fully grasped what CJ had said, but Neil saw no connection in his face. He looked as distant now as he’d looked all service long. Neil reached over and patted Homer on the knee. The old deacon looked at him and gave a mechanical smile.
“People who saw Jesus didn’t believe in Him,” CJ continued, “yet He continues to require that we, who have never seen Him, will trust and believe in Him. We have to walk by faith, and not by sight. It may not be easy, but when we do it, God rewards us in ways unimaginable. In John 20:29, speaking to Thomas, the disciple who said he’d never believe Christ had risen from the dead until he could see the nail piercings in His hands, Jesus said, ‘Because thou hast seen me, thou hast believed: blessed are they who have not seen, and yet have believed.”’ CJ held the cordless microphone in his right hand, and stretched his left hand toward his audience. “Do you believe?”
“Amen,” they said in chorus.
“Do you believe?” CJ challenged again.
“Amen.” The reply was louder this time.
“This child who was born of a virgin during this time that we celebrate as Christmas. This very God, yet very man, who healed the sick, raised the dead, opened blind eyes, unclogged deaf ears. This Son of God, who hung on the cross and died for the sins of the entire world. Do you trust Him? Do you follow Him? Do you believe the One you have not seen?”
More chants of “Amen” filled the edifice, and Neil felt chills as the Spirit filled his heart.
“If you don’t know Christ as your Lord and Savior, there’s no better day than today.” CJ slammed his hand against the cover of his Bible that still lay closed on the book board and said, “God Almighty! There’s no better gift that you can give Jesus on His birthday than your heart.” When CJ said those words, he turned and looked at Neil. Neil knew that look. It didn’t happen often, but when it did, he knew what was coming next. “Come up, please, Deacon Taylor. I need you to minister in song as we open the altar for lost souls on this Christmas Sunday.”
There was a time, not too long ago, when Neil would fight CJ on this. Everybody who knew Neil well, and even some who didn’t, was aware that Neil didn’t like singing as much now as he did when his brother Dwayne was alive. Neil had an amazing voice, but as far as he was concerned, he wasn’t a solo artist. He was one half of a duo, and without Dwayne, it just wasn’t the same. Still, singing was in his blood, and it was a gift and calling that God had given him that had blessed many; even since Dwayne’s passing. And the congregation relished those rare moments when Deacon Taylor’s gift was called upon. Neil had stopped giving grief to his pastor every time he dared to put him on the spot, because it had become clear, even to him, that the only time CJ did it was at the leading of the Holy Spirit.
He slipped from his seat and began his trek to the podium, knowing exactly what he was going to sing. He had been humming the tune for much of the past two weeks. It had come on the radio following the “One Chance” song by The Williams Brothers that he’d heard during his ride home from the gym that Saturday. As it turned out, the station was playing a marathon of songs by the group that day in honor of their fiftieth anniversary, and this one was a perfect fit for today’s sermon.
Amid applause and cheers, Neil walked onto the platform and accepted the mic from his pastor. Without introductory words of any kind, he looked toward heaven and began singing the words, “It’s amazing to me ... all the things that you do for me ... and I’ve never seen your face ...” Neil continued the anthem, telling Jesus how much it would satisfy his curiosity on the day that he was finally able to see Him face-to-face. He sang of how awesome it was that Jesus would go so far as to die for his sins and give him the gift of everlasting life, even though he didn’t even know Him as the Son of God. The words of the song were powerful. When Neil brought his eyes down to the crowd, he saw the floor filling with people, mostly from the youth department, who were standing or kneeling at the altar, giving their lives to Christ as he sang.
Neil’s heart did a special two-step when he saw that Chase was among them. Still in his wise man get-up, the boy had his eyes closed and his hands lifted, and CJ was standing in front of him, dabbing blessed oil on the child’s forehead in preparation to pray. Still singing the words of “Never Seen Your Face,” Neil searched the audience. He knew when he found Shaylynn, she’d be weeping, and sure enough, there she was. Theresa had gone to stand beside her and was allowing Shaylynn to cry on her shoulder as they embraced. Neil could only imagine her delight at seeing her son make such a monumental decision at such an early age and on such a pivotal day. The only thing that could make this day more beautiful was a marriage proposal, and Neil had never been more ready.
Ella’s house smelled of everything delicious when Neil, Shaylynn, and Chase entered. They’d driven two separate vehicles to church; therefore, they drove separately to Ella’s house too, but they arrived at the same time. Chase chose to ride with Neil in his SUV, and Shaylynn followed them in her Chrysler New Yorker.
“Welcome, welcome.” Ella’s voice was chipper as she held open the door.
“Ho ho ho ... Merry Christmas!” Neil’s Santa impression left much to be desired.
“Merry Christmas to y’all too. What’s all this?”
“We come bearing gifts.” He set his armload on the floor by his mother’s tree, and then proceeded to relieve Shaylynn of hers.
“Me too.” Chase handed Ella the single box he was holding. “This is for you.”
Accepting the neatly wrapped present, Ella said, “Well, I sure do thank you. Is it from you?”
Chase nodded. “Me and Mama.”
“Well, I can’t wait to see what it is.”
“That’s too bad, because you’re gonna have to.” Neil eased the box from his mother’s hand and placed it under the tree with the others. “We’ll open gifts later. I’m about to starve, and this whole house smells edible. If I don’t get a plate soon, I’m gonna just start gnawing on the walls.”
Shaylynn giggled and slapped his arm playfully. “You want me to fix his plate, Ms. Ella Mae? I took a lot of care in redecorating your house. The last thing I need to see on your walls is a grown man’s teeth marks.”
Laughing, Ella said, “No, chile; I don’t want you fixing nothing. I want you, Sol, and Chase to wash up and sit at the table.” While Shaylynn was the only one who referred to Neil by his full middle name, the short-cut “Sol” was occasionally used by several of his immediate family members. Ella nudged Shaylynn in the direction of the hallway. “While y’all doing that, I’ll fill the serving dishes and set them on the table.”
While Shaylynn obediently headed for the restroom to wash her hands, Neil kissed his mother’s cheek. “Ms. Ella Mae, you did more than enough by cooking it all. Why don’t you take a load off? You and Shay can sit down, and let the men serve you. How’s that? Me and Chase will fill the serving dishes and set them on the table.” He looked down at Chase. “Won’t we?”
Chase’s eyes grew with excitement. “Cool!”
“Fine by me.” Limping slightly without the help of her cane, Ella headed for the table that was already decorated with her best china.
Neil bent down slightly and raised his hand. He remembered a time when he used to have to stoop much lower. Chase was growing. “Let’s do it.”
“Yes, sir!” Chase said, slapping his palm against Neil’s.
The men used the kitchen sink to wash their hands, and they were hard at work when Shaylynn joined Ella.
“We’re fixing the table, Mama,” Chase announced as he set the bowl of macaroni and cheese on the table beside the bowl of collard greens and the plate of corn-bread that Neil had placed there just moments earlier.
Shaylynn kissed his cheek. “Well, aren’t you two just full of surprises?”
Neil smiled to himself. You don’t know the half of it, suga. He almost wished all his siblings had traveled to Atlanta to share the holiday with their mom. Not only would Ella have liked that, but it would have opened the door for the people closest to him to be witnesses to his moment of happiness. Neil’s smile widened at the thought of his brothers poking fun at him well into the evening for doing the one thing he’d said he would never do again.
From the kitchen counter where he stood, carving the turkey into slices, he turned and looked across the room into the adjoining dining area and winked at Shaylynn. Then he looked at his mother, who sat beside her. “Speaking of surprises, I think Chase has something to tell you.” When Chase threw him a confused look, Neil said, “Tell Ms. Ella Mae what you did today.”
“Oh.” Chase turned to face Ella. “I got Jesus today.”
“You got Jesus?” It was clear from the expression on her face that she didn’t understand.
Chase bobbed his head, grinning from ear to ear. “Yes, ma’am. I went up to the front of the church, Pastor Loather prayed for me, and I got Jesus.”
As it all became clear to her, Ella gasped, and her hands fluttered to her chest. “Oh, baby,” she said as tears filled her eyes. Ella didn’t cry that often, but Neil knew that one would get her. It had gotten him too. “Come give Ms. Ella Mae a hug.” Chase ran around the table and obliged. “You just made the best decision of your life. You know that?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He was wrapped so tight in Ella’s arms that his voice was muffled.
Ella pulled him away from her and looked him in the eyes. “You done made Ms. Ella Mae so happy.” She picked up a napkin and dabbed at her eyes. Neil noticed Shaylynn wiping hers too. “If you hadn’t bought me nothing for Christmas, this would be my Christmas gift right here.”
“Dr. Taylor said when I got Jesus, they started having a party up in heaven,” Chase said.
Ella clapped her hands and laughed. “That’s right, sweetie, they sure did. That’s what Jesus said. He said that the angels in heaven rejoice over one soul coming to Christ.” She held up her index finger when she said the word “one,” and Chase’s eyes followed her gesture. “That means they threw a party today, just for you. The angels were up there rejoicing,” Ella concluded.
Shaylynn sat forward in her chair. “That means your daddy was rejoicing too, Chase.”
Neil gasped and stifled an “Ouch” as he snatched his hand back from the blade of the knife that had just nicked the index finger on his right hand. The excruciating pain from the cut made him bite down hard on the inside of his bottom lip. Not the cut of the knife, but the one caused by Shaylynn’s words.
“Your daddy is happier than all the other angels combined.” She was bordering on giddy now, and her chipper tone was like grinding broken pieces of glass into Neil’s flesh. “You know, Christmas was Daddy’s favorite holiday,” Shaylynn continued. “I wish he were alive and there in the church to see you get ... Jesus today.”
I wish he were alive. Those words rendered the deepest stab of all. She was still talking, but Neil tuned her out. He had to in order to contain his fury. He snatched off a sheet of paper towel and wrapped his finger with it before picking up the tray of turkey and delivering it to the table. When he placed it down, he dropped it harder than necessary. The resulting thud got everyone’s attention.
“Be careful, Sol,” Ella said, probably thinking the tray had slipped from his grasp. Then she took note of his hand. “What’s the matter? What happened?”
“I’m fine,” Neil lied. His finger may have been fine, but he certainly wasn’t. “I cut myself a little bit while I was carving the turkey.”
Shaylynn stood. “You want me to—”
“No.” Neil tried not to sound snappish, but he didn’t know if he succeeded. “No, thank you,” he added. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom and put something on this. I’ll be back. Don’t wait. You all just go ahead and bless the food and eat.” He was already halfway down the hall when he completed the sentence.
“There’s some peroxide in the medicine cabinet,” Ella called after him, “and some Band-Aids in the first aid kit on the floor of the linen closet.”
Neil closed himself in the bathroom, taking special care not to slam the door ... even though he really, really wanted to. What did she mean she wished he were alive? If Emmett was alive, then Neil and Shaylynn wouldn’t be together. To Neil’s ears, what she had said was as good as saying she didn’t want to be with him; she was just with him because she couldn’t have the man she really wanted. He ripped the makeshift dressing from his finger and discarded it in the trash can. There were only a few specs of blood on it. The wound was almost superficial.
In frustration, Neil shoved his hands in his pockets. That’s when he felt the ring. He had taken it from the box of his glove compartment and hidden it there ... waiting for just the right moment. Every day since he made the purchase, he’d taken the ring out of its casing and admired it with a smile; sometimes even rehearsing his lines in preparation for today. Looking at it now brought him no joy, and he knew that every time he looked at it from here on out, it would remind him all over again of the ill-timing of Shaylynn’s little salute to the great Emmett Ford.
Melancholy began to replace his anger. Why did she have to do this today? Not only was she refusing to let Emmett die, but it was like she was on some kind of mission to keep him alive in Chase’s mind too. How could Neil propose to her? Not only was she not willing to allow him to be her husband, she also wasn’t willing to allow him to be Chase’s father.
Defeated once again, Neil dropped the ring back into his pocket and washed his hands with soap and water. Peroxide wasn’t necessary. Instead, once he dried his hands, he proceeded to hunt through the first aid kit for a Band-Aid that was the right size for his minor wound. Neil was so dejected that he’d lost his appetite. He didn’t know how he was going to manage to put on a brave face and pretend to enjoy the rest of Christmas Day, but one thing he knew for sure: the only piece of jewelry that would get presented today was the birthstone cuff watch that Shaylynn and Chase had purchased for Ella Mae.