Bliss Paine
Bliss Paine stood in front of the bar holding a mallet, surrounded by several thugs who wanted to rip her to shreds. Her rainbow-colored hair shined brightly in the moonlit sky. She wore a white t-shirt with the words NAUGHTY GIRL displayed proudly. Her ripped fishnet stockings covered her tattooed legs. Her face was caked with white powder with glitter mixed in. She had stolen thousands of dollars from her ex-boyfriend, Damien Dockenshire, and his thugs were there to collect the payment in blood.
“He sent ten thugs to get little ol’ me? How cute?” She laughed.
“And we’re going to beat you real good,” one of them said.
“Ok, if you guys want to dance, let’s dance.” She pressed a button on the back of the mallet and fired several rounds blowing each of their brains out as she twirled around. As she stopped and admired her handiwork, she laughed. “And that’s how us naughty girls do it these days.”
Several police cars surrounded her.
“Drop your weapon!”
“Aw shucks!” She dropped the mallet on the ground. “You’re going to arrest a darling girl like me after I just killed several of the most dangerous thugs in the city? That’s just not right.”
“On the ground!”
“I’ll lie on the ground free of charge,” she laughed as she was cuffed and placed in the back of one of the police cars. “How kinky!
”
The officer ignored her the best he could as she flirted with him. As he drove the car away, he occasionally checked his rearview mirror as she continued to blow him kisses.
“I can see you trying to sneak a peek at me. You can’t resist me. All guys submit to me, eventually.”
Bliss sat in her cell whistling as she stared at the ceiling. She hated the orange jumpsuit she was wearing. A single color was never her style. She heard the door to her cell open, and she jumped up ready to seduce whoever walked in. An older man with gray hair wearing a black suit stood in front of her.
“Fancy suit. Expensive. Nice.”
“Monique Mallory.”
“Bliss Paine. Never call me Monique.”
“My apologies, Bliss Paine. Let’s get to the chase. Your rap sheet is more like a novel than a sheet. You’re facing several years in prison. You’ll probably be in a walker by the time you see parole.”
“And your point?”
“You can spend the rest of your life here, or you can come work for the government and your rap sheet disappears.”
“Doing what for the government?”
“Covert missions.”
“Are these the type of missions where I’m caught or killed and the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of my actions?”
“Pretty much.”
“I’ll get to kill people and the government pays me?”
“That’s how it usually works.
”
“And I won’t have to wear orange or some stupid uniform?”
“You can wear whatever you want. You can go completely nude as long as you accomplish your mission.”
“Where do I sign up?”
“Bliss Paine! I love Bliss Paine! Derek Ailes promised me that she’ll be my love interest in the next book. I can’t wait! Now I have to do something that Derek told me I have to do. No, it’s nothing kinky. He wants me to beg and yes, he means beg, to have you leave a review for this book. Like all authors, he wants an honest review, but I’m the one asking, not him. I want you to leave a positive review. I like fives. Tell others how great the book is and what your favorite parts are. You can even tell every one of your friends. The Undead Pool is the next great franchise, and the whole world needs to know. Just kidding. Actually, I’m not.
I have some exciting news! The Undead Pool: Dawn of Injustice is here!
When the ancient goddess, Ta-khara, is suddenly released from her tomb, she devises a fiendish plot to turn the Why-Men against one another.
She convinces Tigernaut that Mace Murdock, Stable, Irene and the Professor have become supervillains, and that they must be destroyed at all costs. Her ultimate aim is to see a Civil War unfold between The Undead Pool and the rest of the Why-Men.
With this to occupy them she will then be able to sit back and watch, as her adversaries tear each other apart.
Meanwhile, the U.S. Government has put together a team of misfits and criminals, including Thomas “Sniper” Berenger, Bliss Paine, Rambo and Brut, with a single remit. They must destroy Ta-khara.
But this is one goddess who isn’t so easily defeated and when she places the team under a spell it forces them to join with Tigernaut, to defeat Mace Murdock and the Why-Men.
The comedy never stops in The Undead Pool: Dawn of Injustice.
You can download your copy now:
Until next time, this is the Undead Pool, Mace Murdock, saying so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen, goodbye.”