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Overview of Relationships and Sexuality

As people get older they form different kinds of relationships with other people than when they were children. Some relationships are sexual and some are non-sexual. Who you want to have a sexual relationship with can be affected by your sexuality.

Sexuality is the word for the category of sexual attraction to which someone belongs. Sexuality is not fixed for all people, it can change. People often change their sexuality as they grow up. Family, peer and cultural expectations can affect how people choose to express their sexuality.

You do not need to do sexual things with people who you like to spend time with; you can have non-sexual relationships. Sometimes friends engage in sexual activity together but normally this is something that happens only with adolescents and young adults. Older adults do not usually do this. Co-workers can be friends but in some workplaces they can be disciplined or fired for engaging in sexual activity with a co-worker. A boss is not supposed to ask his or her staff to engage in sexual activity with them, and this type of request is an abuse of power in a workplace relationship.

You do not need to learn the hidden curriculum for all kinds of sexual relationships, just those that apply to your sexual orientation (another way of saying sexuality). However, first of all you need to work out what your sexuality is and then if the person that you are attracted to is of the same or a compatible sexuality.

Many people are unsure of the difference between different types of relationships; for example, when does a co-worker become a friend and when does a friendship develop into a relationship? It can help to visualize relationships through diagrams as long as you remember that relationships can change over time.

Figure 1.1 shows how relationships can intersect, so you can be friends with family members, but you may not be. A perfect long-term sexual relationship is one where you are both sexually and emotionally close to a person with whom you are friends.

Figure 1.1 How relationships intersect