Son: Mummy, Mummy! Can I lick the bowl?
Mum: Shut up and flush it like everyone else.
Son: Mummy, Mummy! Why am I running around in circles?
Mum: Shut up, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor.
Son: Mummy, Mummy! Daddy’s on fire!
Mum: Shut up and get the marshmallows!
