13

 

Excited about tomorrow, Joe stepped into the elevator to head back to the Denali Deck. Just as the doors were about to shut he heard a commotion in the hall.

“Wait for us, Mr. Joe!”

He stuck a foot in between the doors to prevent them from closing.

Brandon ran toward the elevator, a harried looking Chad three steps behind. Talk about timing. Knowing he didn’t have time to find Chad before signing them up for the seaplane tour, he’d gone ahead and signed them up. He’d have to find a way to distract Brandon so he could ask Chad about it.

“Where’s Miss Lisa? You guys wanna eat dinner with us?”

“Brandon, stop asking so many questions.”

“He’s no bother, Chad.” Joe tried to give Brandon a reassuring glance. “Lisa’s reading a book in the solarium just down the hall from our room. You’ll see her when we get off the elevator. As for dinner, thank you very much for the offer, Brandon. But we already agreed to eat with a different friend. She invited us this morning.”

“Oh.” Brandon kicked at the wall of the elevator.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll see Lisa sometime tomorrow.” Joe smiled at the boy, trying to offer him some assurance without spoiling the surprise until he spoke to Chad.

“OK.” Brandon sounded disappointed.

The elevator stopped on the Denali Deck, and they stepped into the hall together. The solarium was a short distance down the hall, and Joe could see Lisa sitting in her lounge chair facing the water. It looked as though she might have fallen asleep, but he couldn’t really tell from here.

“Listen, Chad, could I talk with you for a minute?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Well…” Joe hesitated as he looked at Brandon. The boy was listening intently, as if sensing something big. “Brandon, do you mind if I talk to your dad in private? It’s kind of a grownup conversation.”

Chad looked at him curiously then nodded. “Brandon? Why don’t you go stand over by the window for a minute?”

Brandon looked down at the floor as if trying to decide whether to obey. Finally, he shuffled off toward the window and leaned his face against it to stare out at the water.

Joe waited a second to be sure Brandon wasn’t listening. When it appeared the boy was watching intently as they slowly passed a glacier, he lowered his voice. “Lisa and I have been talking. We want to thank you and Brandon for helping me find her last night. We’d like to take the both of you on a seaplane ride tomorrow.”

“A seaplane?” Chad’s response was louder than Joe had hoped, and Brandon was at their side in an instant.

“Can we, Dad? Can we?”

Great. Brandon had overheard. If Chad said no Brandon would be so disappointed.

Chad sighed in exasperation. Joe tensed, waiting for Chad to turn down the offer.

“Lisa and I really want to do something to show our gratitude.” Joe looked at Brandon, took in his eager expression. “It would mean a lot to us if you said yes. Please?”

“Yeah, Dad. Please?”

Chad took a deep breath then let it out. “If I say yes, do you promise to behave?”

Brandon’s little blond head bobbed up and down, his eager features perfectly schooled into the picture of obedience.

Joe pressed his lips together to keep his expression bland but struggled not to bust out with a smile. For such a little boy, Brandon seemed so serious. If they did go on the seaplane, the boy wouldn’t be able to contain his excitement for long.

“It’s awfully expensive,” Chad said.

“It’s worth it to us,” Joe was quick to assure him.

Chad was silent for so long, Joe feared he’d say no. “OK,” he finally agreed. Then he turned to Brandon. “But I won’t put up with any of your wild behavior.”

“Thanks, Dad!” Brandon was all smiles and looked as if he wanted to jump in the air. But he seemed to think better of it and clasped his hands in front of him as if it would help him be perfectly still. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

Then Brandon turned to Joe. “Thanks, Mr. Joe. Will Miss Lisa be there?”

“You’re very welcome, and yes, she will.” At least, he hoped she would. Even though she’d agreed, he still worried she’d change her mind.

“Oh, look,” Brandon said. “There she is!” If possible, Brandon smiled even bigger as he took off running toward the solarium. A warm feeling spread through Joe’s chest. The little boy was growing quite attached to Lisa.

 

****

 

It seemed she’d just nodded off when Lisa had the oddest feeling of someone standing over her. Her eyes flew open and she found herself staring into Brandon’s eager face. Startled, she jumped.

“Sorry, Miss Lisa. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Brandon. That’s OK.” It was kind of nice to wake up and see a little boy’s smiling face, even if it wasn’t her little boy’s face. She sighed.

“What’s wrong, Miss Lisa?” Brandon blue eyes clouded with concern.

She reached out and ruffled his hair. Would this painful longing for Cody ever go away? Somehow, she didn’t think it would.

“Nothing for you to worry about, Brandon.”

Joe was talking to Chad. She was afraid to ask the little boy if he knew about their planned seaplane adventure. “How was your day?”

“OK, I guess,” Brandon answered. “The fish was kind of gross, though.”

“I guess that means you’ll be nice and hungry for dinner.”

He nodded. “I’m nice and hungry now, though.”

“We need to get you cleaned up for dinner,” Chad announced.

“In a minute, Dad. I want to talk to Miss Lisa.”

Chad sighed, looking like he’d spent his entire day chasing Brandon. Lisa would give anything to have spent a day like that with Cody.

“Who’s Cody?”

Brandon’s innocent question brought an instant lump to her throat, and for a minute she couldn’t answer.

“Brandon,” his dad scolded.

“It’s OK.” She didn’t want Brandon to get in trouble for being a curious boy.

“How did you know about Cody?”

“’Cuz last night when you were crying about the whales, you said his name lots of times. Is he your boy?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “He’s my boy. And he wanted to see the whales for his birthday.”

“How come he’s not here? Did you leave him at home?”

“No.” Lisa shook her head and bit into her bottom lip. She had no clue what to say.

“Brandon, that’s enough. Leave the Kendalls alone.”

Lisa caught Joe’s eye.

“He’s fine, Chad.” She knelt down beside Brandon. “Brandon, honey, Cody’s not at home. At least not the kind of home you and I know. My little boy is gone from us now.”

Wide blue eyes gazed up at her, and her heart broke for the millionth time. “He’s living with Jesus in heaven.”

Brandon’s mouth formed a silent Wow! She looked over his shoulder to see Chad’s reaction, knowing full well some adults didn’t want the words Jesus, God, or heaven spoken to their children. Chad, however, didn’t seem to mind. Instead, he appeared to be listening with interest.

“How’d he get there?”

As most of his previous questions had, this one brought a twinge of pain. Brandon was certainly inquisitive. But she wanted to answer. His innocence and sincerity stole her heart. She swallowed hard.

“There was an accident. A car accident.” She blinked hard to clear her vision. But it blurred again when his warm little-boy hand tucked its way into hers.

“I bet he’s happy there. My mom talked about Jesus a lot. I bet your boy and Jesus are having lots of fun.”

Unable to speak, Lisa could only nod.

“Is that why you’re sad? ’Cuz you don’t got your boy?”

Tears stung the back of her eyes. “That’s right. I’ll always be a little sad.”

“Just the way I’m always sad that I don’t got my mom no more.” He looked up at her with those wide blue eyes, and Lisa fought to control her tears. Off in the distance, she heard Chad clear his throat. That explained why the two of them were on a cruise ship alone. It also explained why Brandon had attached himself to Lisa.

She knelt down. “Come here, honey.” She pulled Brandon close and held him tight, reveling that her arms were filled with the warmth and goodness of once again holding a sweaty little boy.

Brandon hugged her back for a minute before he squirmed to get away.

“We both needed that,” she whispered in his ear before letting him go.

“Maybe my mom knows him,” Brandon said quietly. “Cody, I mean. Maybe she’ll even make a birthday cake for him. They might be friends in heaven.”

“I’ll bet they are, sweetie. In fact, I’m positive of it. You and I are friends now, so it only makes sense that they would be friends, too.”

Brandon scrubbed the back of his hands across his eyes. Then he looked away as if embarrassed to be caught with tears in his eyes.

Lisa stood as Brandon ran over to his father. Chad stood with Joe, and both men looked uncomfortable. Chad was tucking a handkerchief into his pocket. “Sorry about that.” Chad avoided her gaze and patted Brandon on the top of his head. “We need to go get ready for dinner.”

Lisa nodded and waved at Brandon. He appeared so upset she offered him a smile of reassurance.

While father and son walked toward the elevator, she forced her smile to stay in place as long as possible. Brandon was almost out of sight when the smile gave way to tears. She turned her back so Joe wouldn’t see, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable and see her as weak and needy. He must have sensed her need though. In a breath, his hand touched her shoulder. A second later he turned her to face him and drew her into his arms.

****

 

As they headed back to the cabin to dress for dinner, Lisa tried to muster some excitement. But her encounter with Brandon left her emotionally worn out. Joe went into the bathroom to get ready for dinner first, and Lisa sat on the bottom bunk to wait for him. She worried he might change his mind about dinner.

They had broken fragile ground today, and she couldn’t help but worry that he might regret the things they’d talked about.

She didn’t realize she’d fallen asleep until Joe gently shook her and told her it was her turn to get ready. She blinked and scrubbed her hand across her eyes. She couldn’t really be awake.

Clean shaven with his still damp hair freshly combed, Joe looked like he’d stepped out of one of her dreams. One where she dreamed that nothing in their life had changed. He looked more relaxed than she’d seen him in months, and he had a gentle smile on his face. Proof he looked forward to their dinner together.

“Lisa?”

She couldn’t seem to take her eyes off the dab of shaving cream he’d missed. Just a smear. High up on his cheekbone. Should she dab it off?

Wow. Twelve dozen nerves descended on her, making her mouth freeze and the words stick in her throat. Her knees almost knocked together. She’d better leave well enough alone. He would probably misinterpret the action and run scared, and she didn’t want to push her luck.

“Lisa?” Joe repeated himself and as she stared at him, his smile disappeared. “I don’t know if these are good enough for the dining room.”

Lisa realized he thought she was judging his clothing.

“No, Joe. You look great. I don’t think you have to be dressed in a tux to eat there. Jessica told me it was nice, but not formal. I’m sure she wouldn’t tell me that if it wasn’t true.”

“I don’t even have a suit jacket with me.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. If not, we’ll just leave.” She offered him a wide smile, trying to reassure him. It wasn’t hard to smile, given she would be dining with her husband.

“You’d better get ready.” He gestured toward the door.

“Oh, yeah.” She tore her gaze from his face and headed to the closet to grab her dress. What would Joe think when he saw her in it? Would his reaction be anything like hers had just been?

Please, Lord, let it bring back good memories for him.

 

****

 

What was taking her so long?

Looking at his watch for the sixth time in as many minutes, Joe tapped his foot impatiently. It had been over fifteen minutes since Lisa went into the bathroom to dress for dinner. Not that he was in any big hurry to go eat in a dining room with a bunch of strangers. He just didn’t like waiting.

“Joe?” Her voice was soft, almost timid. When he turned from the window, he knew why.

Wow.

Her dress, a tiny little thing in a dark blue velvety fabric, hugged her in all the right places and highlighted the blue of her eyes. It reminded him of one of the happiest times in his life. Their wedding night when Lisa had first worn that dress.

Once again the thought ran through his mind that she’d come here in order to try to talk him into going home. He quickly dismissed it. She really hadn’t been doing anything to push him in that direction. So then why was she wearing this particular dress tonight? More curiously, why had she even brought it along?

“Lisa.” Great. He sounded breathless, like an awkward teenager on his first date. Hopefully she hadn’t noticed. “You look gorgeous.”

A shy look washed over her features as Joe stood staring like an idiot. For a split second, he wanted to turn and run. But he couldn’t do that to her. He’d already hurt her enough. In ways he could never atone for.

Trapped, he smoothed the front of his shirt. “Are you…um, sure this is OK for the dining room?”

Lisa laughed. “I already told you, you look perfect. Anyway, isn’t it the woman who is supposed to ask those questions? Next you’ll be asking me if you look fat.” She laughed again.

It had been far too long since Joe heard that sound, and he loved it. He could listen to it forever. He hoped he’d be able to hear it again at dinner in a romantic setting—after all this time. Especially with Lisa wearing that dress?

The nerves started dancing in his stomach again.

“Well.” Joe reached for the doorknob, and they stared at each other awkwardly. “Let’s go.”

Unable to help himself, he put his hand on Lisa’s back as they headed toward the elevator. Warmth suffused him, and he blamed it on the dress. It drew him directly into dangerous territory.

Once they stepped into the elevator, he made sure to keep a good three feet between them.

Even three feet away was too close. She smelled too good. She smiled nervously but didn’t say anything.

Following Jessica’s directions, they found the Aurora Borealis dining room on the Tlingit Deck without any trouble. Lisa turned to Joe. “See, I told you it would be fine.”

Looking around, Joe relaxed a little. Plenty of men were dressed just like he was.

“What about me? Does this dress make me look fat?” She laughed again and her blue eyes sparkled. For a quick second the years seemed to melt away. It was almost as if they were dating again—young lovers, happy, their entire lives ahead of them. He longed to kiss her. He searched her face before he reached out and brushed her cheek. Her lips parted and her eyes grew wide.

“Your hair.” He knew he sounded lame, and he made a show of smoothing the curls that caressed her cheek. “We must have encountered some wind between here and our cabin.” He knew full well that hadn’t happened.

“Um, yeah.” She nodded, but the hopeful glimmer in her eyes said that she’d seen right through him. He was deeply drawn to her tonight. Not that a day ever went by when he didn’t think of her, long for her, and wish for a chance to turn back the clock and change things. But tonight was different…and impossible.

He’d do his best to remember and accept that. He didn’t deserve a second chance. Moreover, Lisa deserved not to be burdened by his brokenness.

“Joe, Lisa, over here.”

Snapped from his wistfulness, Joe followed Lisa to Jessica’s table. Surprisingly, Chad and Brandon were there as well.

“Hi, Miss Lisa.” Brandon’s face lit up.

“Hi, Brandon.” Lisa smiled at the boy, her smile so bright and genuine it rushed from Joe’s head to his heart then to his toes. No wonder the little boy was enamored of her.

The large table was round, and there was a space for two between Jessica and Brandon. Chad sat on the other side of his son. On the opposite side of the table, between Chad and Jessica, sat a guy in his mid-thirties. He nodded a greeting and gave Lisa the once-over. Joe clenched his jaw as he returned the nod.

“Here, Lisa.” Joe pulled out the chair next to Brandon, knowing she’d want to sit by the little boy. He was rewarded with a wide smile, and before he realized what he’d done, he winked at her.

Again, he caught a whiff of whatever she’d showered with. He inhaled and found himself scooting his chair closer to her as he sat.

While Lisa, Jessica, and Brandon exchanged pleasantries, Chad sat in silence and the man across the table looked on expectantly.

In Joe’s estimation, the man could only be described as suave and debonair. But his demeanor was so obviously fake. Joe didn’t like the interested look in the other man’s eye, so he deliberately said nothing.

Apparently uncomfortable, Lisa finally extended her hand across the table. “Hi, I’m Lisa.” Then she speared Joe with a pointed look of chastisement.

He raised one shoulder halfway. Why should he have to introduce her to a shark with a predatory gleam in his eye?

“I’m Darryl. Pleased to meet you.” Darryl held Lisa’s hand a little too long.

“I’m Lisa’s husband, Joe.” In one swift motion, Joe grabbed Lisa’s right hand from Darryl’s and tucked it in his own left hand.

Lisa looked at him in shock, as did Jessica. He was surprised himself, but not displeased. Lisa’s hand was where it should be—clasped in his, not some smarmy stranger’s.