DAVID BECKHAM IS PEOPLE MAGAZINE’S SEXIEST MAN ALIVE

and I’m just hoping my jeans fit

after carb-heavy, sad-heavy months.

He says on Instagram: I thought

I was past my sell date. He’s a year younger

than me. At twenty I would’ve traded

brain cells to look how he looks now:

almond nipples, crunched abs, muscles

amped under intricate tattoos:

In the face of adversity sits in clouds

on his beefy shoulder, an angel—pouty,

big-bellied—underneath. Harper, Romeo,

Brooklyn, Cruz—his kid’s hip names

script his back. I never worried about what

I wore or how I looked. I didn’t care about

attention from girls. I just wanted to play soccer.

Last year it was Chris Hemsworth,

and the year before that: Adam Levine.

They must be dead now. I wake up,

and whatever’s happening with it

just happens, he says about his hair.

I’m bald and hungry with a pillow-

y chest, my skin fits looser every day.

(Of course he sleeps naked,

or only in underwear.) David

thinks his fans will be surprised

he’s shy. I think my friends think

I talk too much. The magazine’s

on the floor by my toilet: his cheeky

face a perfect way to start each day.

At least I’m not losing my aim.

2015