Run your finger down a man’s spine:
if he arches his back, he’s a bottom.
Run your finger down a man’s spine,
and if he doesn’t arch his back, he’s a bottom.
Beautiful men always know they’re beautiful,
and not every man is beautiful.
You’ll never have perfect abs in 30 days.
Your biceps can get bigger,
but even men get stretch marks.
You can’t please your lover every time,
so come first and fast.
If he took a cab to see you,
give him a towel for cleanup.
If he was bad in bed, give him toilet paper.
Tell him to use his sock
if you don’t want him to stay over.
Try not to let him stay over.
You should never wear a speedo,
unless you’re someone who should always wear a speedo.
When you kiss a man with scruff,
don’t say his face feels like sandpaper.
He’s being tender when he kisses you
and doesn’t have language for the sadness
that passes through skin—
it was rough-knuckled out of him when he was a kid.
Say: dry washcloth or favorite sweater,
something useful and plain
that won’t embarrass him.
Don’t embarrass him,
unless you think he needs to be embarrassed.
It’s better to say nothing:
trace your lips in the kitchen and think of it.
Don’t ask him to change
the shirt he’s worn for days,
instead sniff the armpits, lick the faint, yellow stains.
Watch him shower.
Watch him dry off in the hard bathroom light.
Study every mole, each hair on his shoulder.
Don’t be cautious: it’s just a body.
Don’t ask if he’s going to call.
Don’t ask him to be brave,
never ask a man to shave.