She makes you tell her what is wrong with you. This is a favorite activity; even better than her telling you what is wrong with you. Years later, it’s a habit that’s hard to break.
You can be an incorrigible snob. You value intelligence and wit over other, more admirable qualities. You hate it when people say stupid things. You have an ego: you believe you are good at what you do. You’re neurotic and anxious and self-centered. You get impatient when people don’t understand things as quickly as you do. You’ve definitely done some dumb things because of horniness—embarrassing things. You’ve degraded yourself in front of more than one person. You secretly want to be a man, not because of any doubts about your gender identity, but because you want people to take you more seriously. You love squeezing zits. You’d rather have an orgasm than do most things. Occasionally—and often without warning—your ability to give a fuck drops to exactly zero, and you become useless to anyone who needs you. You’ve had sexual fantasies about the majority of your friends. You wish someone would call you a genius. You’ve cheated at board games. You once went to an emergency doctor’s appointment on Christmas Day because you thought you had herpes, but it was just a zit. As a child, you were a tattletale, and you remain an unflinching rule follower. You’re a prude about drugs. You’re a hypochondriac. The only way you can focus during prolonged meditation is thinking about an orgy. You love a good fight.