Today, the promise of the internet is finally fulfilled in America. It’s going to be big. And beautiful. And I think people are really gonna like it, and I think it’s going to be very good for the United States of America.

— the President of the United States,
announcing the Heuristic Internet Vetting Engine

Any mobs today? I have the day off and I’m bored! #SaveMeFromMyself

Nice day for some Hive Justice! Look at that sunshine! Who’s heading to #MonsterNotAMan?

#BLINQReaderPoll3995: Is #MichaelJones a monster or a man? Vote: bl.inq/poll3995

HIVE ALERT: #MonsterNotAMan rally happening now in Rasche Field.

I just voted MONSTER in #BLINQReaderPoll3995, join me: #MonsterNotAMan Vote: bl.inq/poll3995

ENTERTAINMENT NEWS ALERT: Rumor has it #MichaelJones’s wife will be appearing at today’s rally. What will she be wearing? Streaming now at enewsalert.hive.gov/3995. #MonsterNotAMan

What kind of man does this to his wife and children? An animal, that’s who. #MeetMeAtRascheField #MonsterNotAMan

I just voted MONSTER in #BLINQReaderPoll3995, join me: #MonsterNotAMan Vote: bl.inq/poll3995

How much must it suck to be related to #MichaelJones right now? Poor kids. #MonsterNotAMan

HIVE ALERT: #MichaelJones has arrived. Hive Justice set to begin momentarily. #RascheField #MonsterNotAMan