Even though I was worried about Benjamin, having him around meant Dad had to find things for us to do, and given he was out of a job he had plenty of time to take us to the movies, to laser tag and ten-pin bowling. Benjamin especially liked bowling as he liked seeing how his white sneakers glowed in the dark when they turned the fluro lights on. Rachel sometimes came with us, which was fun when we went to laser tag as Benjamin and I would gang up on her and she’d get all stroppy at us which we kind of enjoyed.
Today, Dad was taking us to see the new fast and the furious movie. Mum hated when he took us to action movies as they weren’t suitable, especially taking Benjamin, who wasn’t even allowed to watch My Kitchen rules at his place because of the rude behaviour. Dad bought us both jumbo popcorn and Pepsi combos, and he got himself a peppermint choc-top. Dad’s been a real stinge with money since he lost his job, but after watching Benjamin scoff down all the Pad-Thai and Ramen we order every night, he knew food was not something he could deny Benjamin.
Benjamin’s eyes lit up like a Christmas tree when Dad passed him his popcorn and Pepsi; it was the first time I’d seen him that happy since before he stayed with us. He’d even gone back to calling me ‘mate’ every five minutes which I kind of missed.
“Come on lads, it’s about to start. Make sure you go to the loo now cos I don’t wanna take ya in the middle of the movie!” Dad said without realising that Benjamin’s bladder was weaker than damp straw and that he barely made it through a 30-minute maths class without needing to duck out for a wee.
After the movie, Dad took us to the food court for KFC. It was a Saturday afternoon, so the place was packed with groups of kids after morning sporting matches and trendy adults having a break from abusing the sales at David Jones. Dad was relieved I wasn’t in my skirt today; instead just wearing some cargo shorts and a Terminator t-shirt that made me look a bit more ‘run of the mill’ as he’d like to say. And whilst Benjamin and I were perfectly happy seeing the movie and diving into a bucket of popcorn chicken, Dad, bless his heart, was in the mood for a chat.
“Bet this’s doing a world of good to take your mind off things, aye matey?”
Suddenly the mood went down a notch. Benjamin didn’t look upset or anything, but you could tell he was looking less enthusiastic dunking his popcorn chicken bites into the potato and gravy.
“Yeah Mr Goldsmith, it’s been good,” he said slurping his Mountain Dew with his head held low.
Poor Dad. Mum was a professional therapist so she knew the right thing to say, whereas Dad actually meant well but got it wrong almost all the time. Probably why Mum was such a decent fit for him.
“Good to hear, mate. How about we go to the park and toss a footy around after this?”
We appreciated everything Dad was doing for us today, but it was time to call it a day and head on home.
As we got out of the car, Rachel got a call from one of her friends and rushed upstairs and Benjamin followed behind her as he was busting to go to the bathroom because of the jumbo Pepsi plus the can of Mountain Dew he’d had at KFC. Mum came to the front door and greeted us as we walked up the driveway, and rustled my hair and told me to go inside to unload the dishwasher. I told her I would, but of course was more interested in what her and Dad were talking about, so I lingered by the coat rack in the hallway whilst they talked in the doorway. I had to clunk around with some plates to make it seem like I was legit unloading the dishwater so their conversation was muffled but I think I got the gist of it.
“I heard from Benjamin’s father today. Joanne’s checked herself out. Nobody knows where she is.”
“You’re kidding me,” Dad said with a fiery tone in his voice. “They just let yourself come and go in these places like it’s some kind of bloody hotel?”
“If she wasn’t court-ordered to attend, she’s able to come and go voluntarily I’m afraid.”
Dad looked at her with a blank face. The kind he’d always pull whenever he was watching morning television and he didn’t understand how people could be so bloody stupid. “Anyway Ken, we need to talk to Riley. He needs to know what’s going on.”
My ears suddenly got goose bumps. I think Dad’s did too given he seemed to be speechless, and that guy had something to say about everything.
Mum saw he didn’t have much to say, so continued. “I’ll have a chat to him sometime later this week, don’t worry. Thanks for taking them out today, sweetie, that was very good of you.”
Dad nodded graciously and they both walked in so I acted quickly and finished off the dishwasher so that they wouldn’t suspect that I heard anything.
What they didn’t count on though was that I had another thing in mind. I was going to go to Benjamin himself. After all, why go scrambling around for a penny when you can go straight to the mint.
I went upstairs with one thing on my mind; I was out for answers. I didn’t want Mum and Dad to hide anything from me, or Liam, or Mr Symonds, or even Benjamin himself.
I stormed into my room ready to beat the truth out of him, even if it did make him sob like a spoilt toddler.
I saw him on my bed laughing hysterically. I’m not sure if he was laughing or crying, but as I approached him he turned the screen of my laptop to me and I saw he was watching a photo of a goat singing a Taylor Swift song. I laugh along with him, quietly at first but then as it goes on we’re aching on the floor from giggling. It was at this point I realised that like on my first day wearing the skirt, Ben didn’t need yet another parent or guidance counsellor or someone to watch over him and babysit him; he just needed a friend. And with the week I’d had dealing with glares from the school vice-captain and every other Cretan in the school, that was all I needed too.
Sitting on the stairs, I could peer through to see Dad in the living room reading the brochures about the ‘Safety in the schoolyard’ program they were putting on at school. Benjamin was fast asleep and I think Mum turned in for the night as well. But Dad was at the dining room table with the family laptop and an island of pamphlets around him. He saw me eventually and moved his finger in the same way Liam the guidance counsellor would to signal that he wanted me to join him.
“Doing your homework, are ya?” I said with a sarcasm that I knew he’d appreciate.
“Yeah mate. Something like that.”
There was now a silence I was hoping would pass.
“You know Dad, you don’t have to memorise all this stuff. There won’t be a test or nothing.”
Dad turned his head to me and instead of smiling as I thought he might have, he looked at me with a puzzled look.
“I suppose you think your mother is making me read this stuff, aye?”
I nodded even though that hadn’t actually occurred to me. I figured he was reading the stuff because he feared Mum would eventually force him to do it.
“You’ve been avoiding talking to me since you started wearing your sister’s old skirt to school, haven’t you?”
This time I nodded knowing full well he was right on the money.
“I don’t blame you. I talk a lot of garbage in front of the telly, in the car home, at the dinner table.”
“Pretty much all the time,” I interrupted. This time he did smile.
“That’s right mate. But even though I rant and rave about a lot of things in this world that rub me the wrong way, I didn’t once try and stop you wearing the skirt.”
That was true, I’d figured Mum had always given him a lecture prior to me wearing it, threatening him with doing a week’s worth of dishes or something.
“Mate, when I lost my job I hated those dregs overseas who were gonna do it for cheaper. And one day, that job will be done by a robot or something and it’ll become even harder for a guy like me to achieve anything. But you’re different, mate. You’re like those blokes on Q&A and on the Project who stand up for stuff. The ones who are actually trying to fix the mess we’re all in, trying to change the world.”
He paused and pointed directly at me without batting an eye. “You mate, you are going to change the world.”
This was all a bit of a shock to me, I gotta say. I’m only 11, yet suddenly he thought I was gonna defeat global warming or something. But I could barely stand up to Scott McElroy and his red bull and snickers breath, let alone change the weather.
“You get that from your mother, she’s an incredible woman. But what you’re doing mate, I don’t understand at all. We grew up with bikes and model planes. You kids and your iPads and Macintosh Books and such, you’re in a whole new world.”
Dad must have had a couple of Victoria Bitters or something; this was most unlike him to open up. Part of me thinks he was just sidetracking me with this to avoid chatting about Benjamin. And it was working, I guess.
“But Dad, all I did was wear a skirt?”
Dad got up and turned on the telly, putting on the ABC channel which he usually watched, even though he never really had a bar of what the idiots, as he called them, on the show were going on about.
“Look at these dummies,” he said with a hardened tone. “Getting paid six figures and then some to pretty themselves up and go on telly saying whatever the hell they can think of on the spot, and then tell all us uneducated dumbos that it’s the truth. And then they go out to the pub after the show without giving a crap about any of the stuff that they were paid to spout out on the show.”
“Still looks a lot harder than anything I’ve ever had to do.”
Dad turned off the telly and knelt down to me sitting at the table.
“No mate. Anyone can say they know what’s what and who’s who. And anyone can buy a fancy suit and parade themselves around like they are the expert on everything. But I bet when they were your age, they weren’t half as brave or courageous as yourself!”
My eyes started to water up and my cheeks became hot and probably looked pretty red too. I didn’t usually cry or anything, but it isn’t every day that Dad says something good about you. Or suggest that he’s proud of you.
“Thanks Dad. I still don’t know how I’m gonna change the world, but I could give it a go, I guess?”
Dad smiled at me and now placed his hand on my shoulder.
“I’ve been reading this stuff for a few hours now. There’s some handy stuff in there in case you ever wanted to talk about anything.”
“Like what?” I said, wondering what he was thinking.
“The brochures and the website talk about kids who may have strong feelings for people of the same sex. As you probably know this is called being gay. And it’s ok. Actually it’s better than ok, it’s awesome. And boys who feel they might be more into ballet than soccer. And that’s ok too, mate.”
I think Dad was trying to explain that some boys may like to dress as girls, and some girls would like to dress as boys. Liam said that’s called being gender-fluid, I never quite knew what that meant, and it didn’t really bother me either. There were a bunch of names for other kinds of things too, but for tonight Dad telling me he was ok with me wearing a skirt was enough for me.