Creating the Best Possible Text (BPT)
“You’re in control when you text. You know exactly what to say and how to say it, and you can take your time if need be. That’s an advantage, especially for those not very quick with the tongue (I happen to be a master with mine—hee hee).”
—Nat
putting your best text forward
There are some things in life that should be avoided and awkward phone conversations are one of them. For everything else, there’s texting. Most boys feel talking over the phone puts them on the spot to constantly entertain with funny jokes and tantalizing stories. Take this example:
Jenna: Hello?
Ben: Hey Jenna, this is Ben.
Jenna: Who?
Ben: Ben. We met the other night at the bar.
Jenna: Oh yeah, hey. What’s going on?
Ben: Oh, not much. So, how’s your foot?
Jenna: Excuse me?
Ben: Remember? You got stepped on while we were dancing. We almost got into a fight with the girl who did it.
Jenna: Oh yeah, (awkward laugh) I forgot about that. Yeah, it’s fine. A little bruised but I’ll live.
Ben: Oh good. Thought they might have to amputate. (dead air)
Jenna: (another forced laugh)
Ben: Uh, just wanted to call to say I, umm, I wanted to see what you’re up to later tonight or this week. I was, uh, thinking we, you know could maybe catch a flick or grab some dinner ... (long pause) if you were free ya know? (clearing throat)
Jenna: Oh cool, yeah, let me look at my calendar and call you back.
Later ... no call back
If you ask a boy how he feels about phone calls, we’ll bet you he says he hates talking on the phone. Boys love to text because they feel much less pressure than when calling. Say goodbye to blurting out dumb phrases and pointless stories all for the sake of avoiding awkward silence. For all these reasons, boys love to text, so girls MUST learn how to flirtext.
One of the biggest advantages texting has to offer is complete control over what you say.
Recipe for Success
Coming up with the absolute perfect text and sending it at just the right moment is our secret to winning your guy over flirtext.
We created a guaranteed way to land your man through text. It’s our recipe for love, if you will. The recipe contains two main ingredients: creating the Best Possible Text and knowing when to press send. We can be impulsive when we like someone. This can translate into our texts. The key is making sure your text is well thought through and not delivered on impulse. A great text draws attraction and more interest toward you. It makes you stand out, look smart, and shows that you are with it. A girl who can nail a great text is one that guy will want to text more.
Following is what the same awkward phone convo between Ben and Jenna would sound like via flirtext:
Ben: Jenna, you’ve got dance moves that would put Paula Abdul out of work. How’s that crushed foot of yours doing today?
Jenna: Hey! I did outdo Paula, huh? The foot’s a little bruised but nothing some ice and a cold drink wont fix!
Ben: How about I’ll get you that drink if you promise not to dance too close to me and make me feel bad about my dancing skills?
Jenna: Deal. But I can’t make any promises about the dancing. You saw me last night—I’m a machine;)
The first part of successful flirtexting begins with creating the Best Possible Text (BPT).
BPT: A text that says exactly what you want to say and in the best possible way. In order to create this, your message has to be strategically thought out and aimed at getting your desired response.
You can tell a LOT about a person by what they text, making it a necessity to always put your best text forward. As quick as we are to put our best foot forward when meeting someone we like, we must remember to do the same with our texts.
Putting the right ingredients into your flirtext will show him that you are interested, as well as keep his interest in you piqued. Luckily, text allows you the time to compose this perfect message!
Look Before You Leap
Texting is instant and as a result encourages impulsive responses. When you’re sending a text to a boy, taking two seconds to consciously think about what you are saying, instead of just typing the first thing that comes to mind, can help ensure your text is the best it can possibly be.
A valuable lesson we’ve learned in life is to try and take a step back to think about what we’re doing and what it is that we want at any given moment. Taking a second to consciously think about our actions before doing them can help reduce mistakes and curb our impulsive nature. For example, if you are at dinner and the waiter sets a huge plate of french fries in front of you, taking a second to recognize if you actually want a fry before impulsively reaching for one can make all the difference. The same goes for texting.
You always want your flirtext to include just the right amount of humor, mystery, and sass to make you seem desirable and to leave your crush wanting more.
how to create a best possible text (Bpt)
- Decide what you want:
(As if there were any other option for number one?!) Decide what it is that you want to get out of this flirtexting conversation. Do you want him to ask you out? Come over? Go to drinks? After you decide what it is that you want, writing a strategic message will help you get it.
- Forecast obstacles:
Think about anything that could get in your way of getting what you desire. Try to remember if he said anything about his weekend plans when you spoke to him earlier. Did he say he was going out of town? Is it his best friend’s birthday? It’s always a good idea to have a little 411 on your honey’s weekly activities before you hit him up. You wouldn’t want to ask him to do something when you can mathematically prove he will turn you down. This step will ensure your attempt won’t be wasted.
- Brainstorm BPT:
Now that you know what you want, and can’t predict any obstacles that would get in your way, create a BPT and get it! In order to do this, you must never write the first thing that comes to mind. If you draw a blank or have doubts about what to write, ask a friend. If that doesn’t help, check the Internet for inspiration. Do whatever it is that you need to do in order to feel like you have narrowed it down to the absolute BPT.
- Ask a friend: It’s always a good idea to get a second opinion when concocting a BPT. It’s difficult being flirty, sassy, fun, and impeccably dressed 100% of the time. In times when you’re not on top of your game and need a clever flirtext, friends are your best resource. They can help turn your run-of-the-mill text into a BPT. Since they are not emotionally involved in the relationship like you are, their ideas are usually more playful and less needy. Best part: you get all the credit! Take into consideration that what you may think is a sweet, lighthearted message may read as “trying too hard” to someone else. Your BFF will help you maneuver this situation—after all, that’s what they’re there for. Use them.
- Surf the web: When in doubt, Google. If you’re having difficulty thinking of a BPT, and your BFF is at yoga, we recommend the Internet for inspiration. For example, try:
www.thedailyshow.com—Current events and pop culture news with a comedic twist brought to you by Jon Stewart.
www.someecards.com—E-card Web site with brilliant one-liners, such as “I’m somewhat skeptical you’re laughing out loud as much as you claim.”
www.imdb.com—Movie Web site where you can pull quotes from any movie or TV show or reference our Movie Quote section in the back of this book.
www.perezhilton.com—Latest celebrity news brought with humor. You can grab some of Perez’s lines and make them your own. He won’t mind.
- Leave an option out:
A Rules Girl always leaves her options open. In cases when you’re asking to make plans with a boy, if possible, try and create an “option out” in your text in case he comes up with something better or is unable to make it. Meaning, don’t ever commit to something before he agrees to it first. For example, never text, “I’m going to the movies on Friday night do you want to go?” That statement is too definite. If what you want is to see him, movie or not, then instead text, “Thinking about catching a flick on Friday. Interested?” This leaves your plans more open-ended, giving him the opportunity to suggest something better.
Know when to press send.
BPT thought process
You decide you want to see a movie with him tonight. You can’t recall anything important he’d be doing since you talked to him yesterday, and he didn’t mention anything. You know he’s a Johnny Depp fan and it just so happens Depp’s new movie is debuting this weekend. You concoct a text that’s enticing enough to ensure a “yes” or at the very least a date in the near future.
It reads: “Any interest in seeing J.Depps new flick? Popcorn on you, Gummi Bears on me.”
knowing when to press send
“Because it helps me distinguish the desperate from the not desperate girls. Response time says a lot about a person.”
—Josh
You just received a flirtext from your crush. You’re stoked because you’ve been thinking about him all day and were wondering if he was doing the same. The minute you receive his text you begin writing the first response that comes to mind . . . and then press send. Five, ten, thirty minutes go by and he still hasn’t written back. You begin to F-L-I-P out and are certain his silence is due in part to your lame, impulsive text. You can’t believe you wrote back, “Stop it! That’s soo hilarious Pete!”
In the quiet meantime, you start driving yourself crazy coming up with a half dozen better flirtexts which you are certain would have elicited a faster response. You swear to yourself that when and if he finally writes back, you’ll be more patient with your next response to ensure the LOL you so rightfully deserve. Or at the very least, a timely response.
Now that you’ve gotten your message in place, the second part of successful flirtexting is knowing when to press send. Unfortunately, part of being a girl means getting overly excited about a simple little text from a cute potential boyfriend. A text can escalate that already neurotic butterflies-in-stomach feeling you have for a boy, and can drive the common sense right out of a girl. In other words, upon receiving his text, you feel the need to respond instantly, ’cause let’s face it, you l-o-v-e him. You respond with the first thing that comes to mind and send it. We call this a Bad Idea.
Don’t let the girly-girl in you get in the way of your game and control. If he texts you, then the ball is in your court and you hold the power. We recommend you try and hold onto that power for as long as your manicured hands can.
Bad Idea: Immediately answering any flirtext from a crush.
Just because it’s speedy technology does not mean you need to be instant with your response! It’s important for you to realize that the first text you think of is in all probability impulsive and driven by emotion. The key is to tone down any excitement you may have and resist the urge to write the first thing that pops into your head. There certainly is no rush when it comes to flirtexting.
Unlike phone conversations or F2F interaction, where you are put on the spot to be clever and witty, text gives you the power of time. The secret here lies in the way you use this time. By having the element of time on your side in flirtexting, you hold the power and upper hand. Yes, it’s as simple as that.
Admit it. In the back of every flirtexter’s mind there’s an unspoken timeline pertaining to when one texts and when one responds. It’s all really a game of catch-me-if-you-can. Responding at just the right moment is key when trying to land a man via text. If you respond too soon you could come off as looking desperate. Wait too long and you might come off uninterested. Knowing when to press send is just as important as what you are sending ... if not more so. Allow us to explain.
While the phone call/F2F conversation is more instant, text allows you to determine your speed according to your desire. You can respond back to text messages instantly, exuding interest and eagerness; delay responses, which conveys a sense of mystery and that you’re hard-to-get; or ultimately not respond at all, which can mean either of two things: you’re not interested in him or you’re not interested in what he texted you, be it simply boring or sloppily in 3 a.m. drunk mode. By using time in this way, you adjust your game to your needs, whether you want to be straight and to the point or a coquette. Ball is in your court; use it to your advantage.
Text gives you the advantage of time and, therefore, the power.
Stop!
Do not respond immediately to any text. Even if you think you have the perfect response, chill. Call your BFF, watch some Tivo, take a run ... whatever ! Do anything to distract yourself. Remember, he’s lucky to be getting a flirtext from you. Make him realize it by making him wait. Leave him always wanting more.
texting tip
In essence, the longer you can hold out to respond, the more he will like you. The same way The Rules told us to wait a day or two before returning his phone call, we’re telling you to keep this same state of mind—hold off a bit—when responding to his text. This signals that you are not an easy catch . . . and we can’t argue the fact that boys love a chase.
Patience is an undervalued virtue that’ll help any girl, any time. How many times have you sent a text because you felt the need to respond right away, and fifteen minutes later wished you had written something else? Trust your gut. Wait until something brilliant comes to you even if it means responding the following day.
Waiting it out means he’s sweating it out.
Waiting It Out: We’re not talking waiting a week to respond. Do this and he’ll think you’re not interested. Every flirtexting situation differs, in which case the response time will vary. However, the longest you should hold out when responding back to his flirtext is twenty-four hours. Anything beyond that reads as uninterested.
Here’s why delaying your response works to your advantage. When you hold off on your response, your potential boyfriend may start second guessing his text, as well as his approach. While you’re composing something brilliant, he’s going crazy wondering if you still like him. Boys have revealed to us that they go nuts waiting for our response to flirty texts just like we do. He may not admit it or show any signs of it, but he’s freaking out a little bit. Guys are a lot better about keeping their emotions under wraps, while girls find the need to talk it out. They hide it, we analyze it. We’re different creatures. If he admitted that it drove him crazy waiting for your response then he would lose a little game and a whole lotta manhood. So when you come back with the perfect response, he’ll be quietly thrilled! Trust us, by not responding instantly you’ll reap the benefits in the long run.
The delayed text works best in the most critical of courting situations. Whether you are head-over-heels or just interested in getting to know him better, the best thing you can do for yourself is hold out on responding right away. The saying goes as follows: “We all want what we can’t have.” Take this and turn it to your advantage.
We KNOW holding out on responding is so hard to do. But may we remind you, it’s not like he showed up on your doorstep with a half dozen roses and a cupcake. It’s a text.
Yes, texting back immediately leaves you with the instant gratification that you so desperately need to feel. Remember, this feeling is followed shortly by a slow fall into depression when you don’t hear back right away. It’s like a sugar high you don’t want to be on. What you want to do is to feed his ego to make him feel like he’s the luckiest guy in the world when you finally write back.
This technique is probably similar to the strategy you used to get his interest the first time you met. You most likely flirted with someone else in his direct eyesight to make him notice you. Finally, after making him sweat the whole night, you give him your number and not the other guy. This gives him the ultimate satisfaction because in a sense he’ll feel like he’s won. Not that it was a game or anything ;).
Quick reminder: Jane is that desperate girl you don’t want to be!
Here we list different timelines for texting scenarios and what it means by how long we take to respond. These approximate timelines pertain to budding relationships. The texting timeline does not apply if you are texting back a friend or family member. And it doesn’t count if you’re in a serious relationship. We advise using them in the initial six weeks of dating. Knowing when to press send is key when trying to hook-line-and-sink your man.
FLIRTEXTING TIMELINE:
when to respond
1. His text—“What are u doing tonight”—at 5:30 p.m.
| When you respond | What it means about you | |
|---|---|---|
| Jane. | 5:32 P.M. | You love him and now he knows it and has all the power. Don’t do this. |
| The Romantic. | 6:00 P.M. | You like him a lot. You want to hang out with him and want him to know it. |
| The Chill Girl. | 7:30 P.M. | You think you like him but don’t really know yet. Perhaps you’ll know more based on his response. |
| The Bad Ass. | 8:30 P.M. | You like him but want to field your options. He’s not the only one to ask you out tonight. He better have a good plan to keep your interest. |
| The Shameless. | 1:30 A.M.- 5 A.M. | Oh, sweetie (we still love you). |
| The Busy Girl. | 3:00 P.M. the next day | By taking this long to respond you probably had a lot going on. You’re giving off a catch-me-if-you-can ’tude. |
2. His text—“Dinner tonight?”—at 3 P.M.
| When you respond | What it means about you | |
|---|---|---|
| Jane. | 3:05 P.M. | You’re eager to see him and made it quite known. It’s mid-day and you are a working girl ... so act like one and don’t respond right away, even if you do want that dinner. Mr. Last Minute isn’t the only meal ticket in town, let him know it. |
| The Romantic. | 3:30 P.M. | You’re excited he asked you to dinner and are already planning what to wear. You hope he picks a romantic spot. |
| The Chill Girl. | 6:00 P.M. | You just got off of work and you’re considering meeting him later. You text him back and ask what time he’s considering doing dinner. |
| The Bad Ass. | 8:00 P.M. | It is very clear by now that you’re not going to dinner with him. By responding this late on, you let him know that you’re not one to succumb to last minute dinner invites. You should, however, apologize for getting back to him so late and say that you’ll be out at X tonight if he wants to come by after dinner. Watch him run over and meet up. |
| The Busy Girl. | Noon the following day | He asked you to dinner the day of and you already had plans. We know you were busy but he did invite you to dinner. It’s not polite to leave him hanging, even if it was last minute. |
texting tell-all
Plan B?
If a boy texts you to ask about dinner a few hours before the reservation, keep in mind his plans may have fallen through which means you’re plan B for the evening. When a boy likes you and wants to take you out to dinner, he usually asks you a few days in advance.
3. His text—“What’s going on?”—2 P.M. after two weeks of silence
| When you respond | What it means about you | |
|---|---|---|
| Jane. | 2:15 P.M. | Who are we kidding? You’re so happy he texted and make your enthusiasm well known in your response time. |
| The Romantic. | 3:00 P.M. | You kept a positive outlook and promised yourself if it’s meant to be, he’ll re-contact. You write back in hopes of seeing him very soon. |
| The Chill Girl. | 5:00 P.M. | You’re psyched that he’s back in the picture, but you’re taking your time with letting him know that. |
| The Badass. | The following day | You give him a little taste of his own medi cine. And don’t make it easy for him to get ahold of you quickly. |
| The Busy Girl. | Won’t respond till his second attempt at contact | He’s been out of contact for two weeks. WTF. Obvy he’s interested in you because he’s re-establishing contact. But just because he is, doesn’t mean you’re gonna jump. Therefore, you wait until he texts again to earn your attention a bit more. |
texting tell-all
Booty-Text
If a boy texts you to see what you’re up to any time past 10 P.M. he only wants to make out with you late night. If you like this guy and feel it’s too early for this sort of causal meet and greet then don’t respond back until the following day. This will train him to know that you are just not that kinda girl. If you do respond that’s okay too. Just know that he will most likely only think of you when it’s late at night and . . . well, you know what we’re saying.
the waiting game
“I love the anticipation of response. You know the feeling you get after you send a text and start wondering what the recipient is thinking ... I always know that I really like a girl if I’m stressing over my text after I pressed send.”
—Pete
It’s Saturday afternoon. You and your PBF were texting back and forth earlier that day about insignificant nothings. Now it’s 3 p.m. and you want to know if you are going to see him tonight. After all, you’re not about to waste a new going-out top if he’s not going to see it. You decide to text him to see what he’s up to later, so you write, “Big plans tonight?”
Ideally he will respond within thirty minutes with “you tell me;).” But he doesn’t, so you wait. And wait. You go to the gym for a spin class and hope no one sees that you set your phone in the cup holder. Lame. Class is over and still nothing. You head to Starbucks for some caffeine, because at this rate it’s looking like a long night. While enjoying your coffee your phone buzzes and as you lunge into your bag you burn your hand. UGH! It’s only your BFF asking what you’re wearing tonight. Finally you hop in the shower and decide that if he doesn’t write back by the time you’re out, it’s his loss and you’re moving on. Then despite him, you decide you’re going to wear the new top anyways because you’re on the prowl to replace “Mr.-I’m- too-busy-to-text-back.” Whatever.
It’s Just a Text
Here’s the thing: Boys in general are naturally more nonchalant about responding in a timely manner than girls are. When he’s at the gym, he’s at the gym. When he’s eating lunch, he’s eating lunch. He might read your text immediately, but he won’t respond until he believes it is appropriate for him to do so (i.e., after the gym or after lunch). Boys don’t get giddy when they open a text, read it to everyone around them, and ask their spotter at the gym for help on creating the best possible text. Can you imagine?
This time lapse may appear to you like he’s playing a game or not that into you, when in reality it’s just him being a guy. Train yourself to think differently about why he hasn’t responded. Know that his non-response has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him (unless, of course, you sent a lame text). Whatever you do, please don’t send him another text just for the sake of getting him to respond. Boys deem that as being desperate and it’s a huge turn off. Put it this way: Jane would send another text and then one to his friend trying to locate the guy. Don’t be Jane.
Try not to let the time lapse get to you. Because let’s face it, we know what happens to you when it does. He’ll have you second guessing your last text to him and re-reading it a million times trying to figure out if his delayed response is due to your last text. Thoughts begin racing of: Was it something I said? Was I rude? Did he not get my joke? Did his battery die?? Not only are these frantic thoughts a huge waste of time, but they are all pathetic excuses we come up with to try and help ourselves understand the reason behind his tardy response. You should understand that the tardiness is meaningless and you should stop worrying.
Did you get my text?
Don’t believe boys’ excuses, such as “I didn’t check my messages until now,” or “Sorry my phone died—I just got this message.” We’ve all used these and know they’re lies. He got your message and just didn’t respond. Be wary of boys who make these excuses. Therefore, refrain from asking “did you get my text?” because it’s a lost cause.
texting tip
The act of texting is casual. Therefore, taking a little time to respond back is permitted and even admired. Try to remember this during the time you are waiting for his response. Even if you’re secretly going crazy inside, the key is to create a laid-back attitude about the situation, much like our male counterparts do. Set the phone aside and go on with your day/life. Show that you are a cool girl, who has better things to do than wait around in agony for a text response. We guarantee that he will respond when he can. Just be patient.
Realizing you hold a lot of power in that little cell of yours is key to a long road of successful flirtexting. A well-worded message sent at the time you desire can help navigate the direction where you want your relationship to go. Remember, what you send is just as important as when you send it. The time you take in responding says a lot about your character. Alert: Your popularity may improve by using this formula. Don’t be surprised if your inbox is full.... and no, we won’t pay your next phone bill.
FLIRTEXTING TIMELINE:
from digits to dinner
| saturday | You meet a hot new crush and he gets your digits. |
| sunday | You check your phones a few times to see if he texted, but he didn’t. |
| monday around noon | Crush sends you an initial text that is encompassing: witty, charming, clever, and flirta tious enough to make you fall in love. |
| monday night | Crush calls or texts to ask you out for Thursday night, to which you respond with a “love to.” |
| tuesday | Nothing. |
| wednesday | He calls you to confirm your date and affirm his interest. |
| thursday later | You exchange flirtexts throughout the day, which gets you excited about seeing him that night. |
| friday | You text him that you had a great time last night. Then he writes back something funny that happened when you were together. |
| saturday | See last Saturday! |
PRE-PACKAGED TEXTS:
clever responses to his common texts
Since we know you are busy ladies, we took the liberty of listing some BPTs to boys’ most common flirtexts. Like us, they are mood dependent. The content of our text will depend on many things: the time he sent his text, how sincere it is, and whether or not we are having a good hair day.
These pre-approved and ready-to-use flirtexts are sure to get the response you want and then some;). And, by the way, feel free to take all the credit for them. It’s what best friends are for.
Added bonus: We asked all of our hot guy friends to tell us what they really mean when they text these things. We have listed their candid and truthful answers, verbatim, under “what it means.”
1. His text: “Hi”—and nothing else.
What it means: He’s basically saying,“I’m here, don’t forget about me...”
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “Hey yourself;)” or “Hey handsome” |
| Sassy: | “You’re gonna have to do better than that” (calling him out on his lame attempt) |
| LOL: | “Who is this? Uncle Leo?”(Classic Seinfeld quote. Boys love Seinfeld.) |
| Straight to the point: | “Hey u what’s happening?” |
| Jane: | “Heyyyy”(A pointless response to his pointless text ... and mind your y’s). |
2. His text: “What are you up to tonight?”
What it means: He’s beating around the bush and wants to ask you out. He’s hoping you are free and will wait to see what you’re doing before asking.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “Not sure. What’d you have in mind Mr. Party Planner?” (Ball’s back in his court . . . where it should be!) |
| Sassy: | “Whatever it is, it won’t include boys who text me last minute asking what I’m up to tonight;)” (Slacker!) or “Ridiculously busy. Need to update my Facebook profile. You?” |
| LOL: | “I don’t know. Was thinking about going to Home Depot. Buy some wallpaper, some flooring. Then maybe Bed, Bath, & Beyond. U?” (Tip: When in doubt movie quotes are always a good choice) or “Just finishing up our scrapbook” (HA! Obvy you aren’t making a scrap-book of the two of you. You’ve been on two dates!) |
| Straight to the point: | “You tell me.” (He’s blushing) |
| Jane: | “No plans” (Social suicide, ladies!! Always have plans even if you are sitting at home watching Lifetime with zit cream on. He doesn’t know that!) |
3. His text: “Do u want to see a movie?”
What it means: He’s into you and wants to take you on a date but doesn’t feel like being on the spot for a two-hour dinner. Taking you to a movie is less pressure.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “Only if you’ll hold my hand during the really scary parts!” |
| Sassy: | “No thanks I’ve seen one!” |
| LOL: | “Yes as long as it’s either——or ——Because if you choose any thing else I’ll fall asleep. So excited to see what you choose!” |
| Straight to the point: | “Sure. You pick;)” |
| Jane: | “Absolutely. What movie and when? Are you picking me up?” (Don’t be too eager and bombard him with questions. He asked you out; assume he has a plan.) |
4. When you want to see him that night and he’s not asking you out!
What it means: He’s either really busy or not that into you. (Fingers crossed for really busy.) Don’t fret, he could be having a moment of insecurity/loneliness/vulnerability and will text you in the near future. However, this isn’t always the case. You should begin to explore other options.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “I know a really cute [insert your hair color here] who will be at——tonight. U should stop by and check her out.” |
| Sassy: | “——tonight. Get involved.” |
| LOL: | “People I want to see tonight, for 400 please. Answer: Who is [insert full name of recipient] ?” |
| Straight to the point: | “Buy you a drink tonight?” (No guy in his right mind would turn this down.) or “So I had your secretary clear your calendar and MapQuest you directions to the party I’m going to tonight. See you there!” |
| Jane: | “Hey!! What are you doing later?” (Lame. Too generic. Boring. Need we say more?) |
5. When you’ve been texting back and forth all day and suddenly he stops texting, leaving you hanging ... Text one of these to get a quick response.
What it means: See Scenario 4.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “I’m not sure I like your attitude.” |
| Sassy: | “Sorry, did you not hear me? Should I type louder?” or “Should I assume you ran out of text minutes?” |
| LOL: | “Are we playing the quiet game? Because if we are, you’re really good at it!” |
| Straight to the point: | Re-send your last text and act like your phone is messed up. |
| Jane: | “Are you ignoring me?” (Again, a case of social suicide.) |
6. His text: When he name drops and instantly turns you off. “Hey. Going to——tonight. [Insert name of trendy celeb here] is going to be there.
You should come.”
What it means: HE’S A TOOL. He thinks you’re a cool chick and feels the need to impress you in order to compensate for his low self-esteem. Or, he thinks you are superficial and can pick off the low-hanging fruit with some materialistic bait.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “Wow I didn’t realize who I was deal ing with . . . you’re kinda a big deal huh?” |
| Sassy: | “Who’s that?” (This will put him in his place) |
| LOL: | “Hang on I think you dropped something. Oh never mind, it was just those names.” |
| Straight to the point: | IGNORE his lame attempt to woo you through who he knows. Hopefully he’ll get the hint when you don’t respond and try a second attempt, with a lot more class. |
| Jane: | “I’d love to meet sometime. I’m such a huge fan!” |
7. His text: How to handle a cheesy/mushy text:
“You are so cute. I miss you when you’re not around.”
What it means: He likes you but be wary. He may just be lame and cheesy.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “Who told you that cheesy lines are my weakness?” or “Are you reciting lines from Casablanca again? (Throw an equally—or more—cheesy line right back to poke fun a bit and see how he reacts.) |
| Sassy: | “I know, aren’t I adorable?” (Boys love a little cockiness. It makes them laugh and heart you more for your confidence too.) |
| LOL: | “Yeah, I’d miss me if I wasn’t around too.” |
| Straight to the point: | “That’s so cheesy. And I like it!” |
| Jane: | “Aww you’re so sweet, I miss you tooooo☺” (Excuse us while we throw up!) |
8. His text: When you got into a little argument and he texts “Are you still mad at me?” or “Is everything cool with us?”
What it means: He f’d up and knows you are pissed off. Either you are ignoring him or he is afraid that if he calls, you will blow up again so he’s texting to test the waters first. Depending on your response, he’ll know how much he can get away with in the future.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “Ask me again when you show up on my door step with fro-yo and The Notebook.” (This is fine in instances when you are OVER being mad.) |
| Sassy: | “Who is this?” (Obviously you’re still mad.) or “Is Al Gore GREEN?” (Any updated pop culture news will work here.) |
| LOL: | “Ask me again in 5 minutes.” (Keep doing this until he gets annoyed and calls. Something he should have done in the first place.) |
| Straight to the point: | Don’t respond. He will get the hint. |
| Jane: | “No. I could never stay mad at you! <3” (If you say this, he’ll do whatever he did to piss you off again. Guaran teed.) or “Yeah im mad. It was really disrespectful and I cant believe u would do that to me.” (Don’t have “feelings” talks over text.) |
9. His text: When he’s been flirtexting you off the chain and you want him to call.
What it means: This may be a problem. Or, he may think you prefer to communicate non-verbally. Drop a hint that you are not one of those girls and see if he responds in kind.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “I think we’re ready for the next step. I’ll wait by the phone and hold my breath. Ready, go!” or “I’m doing something with my hands. Call me.” |
| Sassy: | “FYI—Unlike Verizon I do not offer unlimited text plans” or “You know these things also place calls? We should really be adventurous with our phones.” |
| LOL: | “All this texting is giving me carpal tunnel. [Insert digits here] .” or “T-t-t-today Junior: [Insert digits here].” (Billy Madison movie quote) |
| Straight to the point: | “I’m running to the gym [or out to dinner]. Call me later.” (Being the first one to end the conversation is the best way to leave him wanting more. If he likes you, he’ll follow up on that call later.) |
| Jane: | “I really wish you would call me instead of texting.” or “Hey do u think u can call me later?” (Don’t put him on the spot. This sounds needy and eager. Both turnoffs.) |
10. His text: “When do I get to see you again?”
What it means: He wants to see you.
| If you’re feeling | Respond like this |
|---|---|
| Flirty: | “I don’t know. You tell me.” |
| Sassy: | “Depends. Were you thinking coral diving in Malaysia or more along the lines of dinner and a movie?” |
| LOL: | “When Britney Spears goes bald. Oh ... shit. I’ll be ready at 8.” (Any improbable pop culture related news feed will work here.) |
| Straight to the point: | “When you make reservations.” |
| Jane: | “How’s tonight?” |