JAN MAUDLIN

Playing

i.

my arm flailed on your

mother-in-law’s hospital bed knocked the whiskey

glasses off bedside table, then the glass

table top as you

relaxed yourself into me

“i’m just playing” i won’t wake deeper

i party and play with a former escort manager

who is playing my party his way into my

substance

pause before cellphone

then wash my options into purgatory

till there is nothing to decide

ii.

i’m just playing your defeated cum onto my lips

you’ll never enjoy a blow job the same

you won’t let out a sincere moan of pleasure or release

your sex is a tool

a collar you broke yourself into i hold the leash

but i’m just playing

i’m in love with a hooker

She is my girl

after pinning her tense throat fucking her dry ass

i ask her if she has been hurt

She says yes of course shrugs as she sinks away

further into the glossy mattress beneath me

i’m just playing an eight-year marriage

the kids asleep on their beds in the windows

on the other side of the penthouse

As to divide our speech exists

i.

as to divide our speech exists

we hear out

the harsh passings of the wet street

we touched our questions into each other

my tender thumb and lips expound

uncertain urges to your deltoid

explicate my headtilt her shyness her locked

crouch our shaggy heads over the table

draw with a pen on the seams of button-up shirt

hold my hand as we clench our jaws

patience is a comedown

the burn in your back from a rest

left unattended

ii.

as to divide our speech exists

we’re touching our questions into each other

my lips and tender thumb shyly whisper

uncertain urges to your deltoid

explicate my headtilt her bashful her locked jaw

mount me on the awkward couch breaks down

dog scratched leather outside her bedroom

carelessly big a room spreads apart sections

i’m gonna cry about this when it’s raining

i’m holding your fists in my sweaty palms

a silver lining in my jacket

flakes onto my T-shirt when it’s hot