I didn’t “lose” my virginity. Someone took it from me. On a beach. I was young. He felt sorry afterward and said, more or less, I’ll grant you anything you want. Anything I want? Why’d it take doing what he’d done for my want to matter? Why hadn’t that mattered before on the beach? Anything I want? Now? As if there was something on offer in this world that could undo what had been done? As if I didn’t understand that this was not remorse but another display of power? As if I didn’t understand who he was and what he could do? Did he think being a god made a difference at all? Anything you want. As though I was a child with a skinned knee, kiss kiss, you’re okay, here’s a Band-Aid, you’re all better. Why are we put on this earth? To experience pain and see where it takes us. Anything I want. “I never want to suffer like that again. Make me a man.” “You got it,” said the rapist. What else do you need to know?