SHEP SMITH: Good afternoon. It’s one month before Election Day, and the president has had a hell of a day. At a campaign stop in Orlando, Florida, President Trump brought a young woman from the audience onstage and…well, there’s a term you don’t hear much on cable news, but he dry-humped her onstage.
With us is Kevin Lackey, the 31st White House communications director.
Mr. Lackey, thank you for being with us. Today at a campaign rally, the President of the United States grabbed a female audience member and…
LACKEY: Shep, this is just more of the liberal fake news your communist network is famous for. The president did no such thing.
SMITH: Mr. Lackey, I’m going to stop you right there. There is live video, from this and other networks…
LACKEY: So you admit the conspiracy.
SMITH: …and we’re going to roll the tape.
(Trump, wild-eyed and gesticulating onstage, pulls a young woman out of the crowd. She’s blonde, gorgeous, and thin. Her MAGA shirt is clinging to her, and Trump leers. After a long whisper in her ear, he paws at her. With an arm wrapped around her waist, he drags her to the podium.)
TRUMP: “You’re done, Melania. I have found my next wife.”
(The President of the United States simulates a sex act with the woman.)
LACKEY: That’s fake, Shep. That video is obviously fake. That’s not him.
SHEP: No, Kevin, it’s him.
LACKEY: Fake News. Fake, fake, fakety fake.
SHEP: Mr. Lackey, my producers are telling me you’re taking my job now and I’m to leave the building. (Tearing off his IFB): This is Shep Smith, signing off. Fuck this noise. You can’t fire me. I quit.