Chapter
Twenty
I’ve been in Washington for two months now and I hate it. I mean, I like being here—it’s pretty. The air is fresh and the people smile at you for no reason, but things haven’t been right since me and Sissy came back from Mississippi. Steph and Carlos are always arguing and fighting. Mainly about her drinking too much and him cheating on her with some chick at work.
Meechie loves it here. She thinks Washington is better than St. Louis. She told me that she never wants to go back again. I don’t. I would rather be with my daddy. I keep the paper with his name and number close to my heart. Sometimes, I try to call the number, hoping one day he’ll pick up, but it’s still disconnected. I pray one day soon I’ll get to go to California. Will you tell him that I’m here? Amen.
Soon after we got to Washington, Steph left Carlos and we moved into a blue rambler on the Southside of Tacoma. It was nice. Me and Meechie had to share a room, but I didn’t care. I enjoyed talking to her. I hadn’t seen Sissy much since Steph dropped her off at Donny’s that night. Steph stayed in the car, while I went in to thank him for sending for me. When I walked up, he was standing by the doorway helping Sissy with her bags.
“Hi, Donny! I missed you.” I gave him a hug, but he barely embraced me back. Maybe, he really thinks I’m a gang member.
“Hey kid. How are you doing?” He drew his attention to Sissy. “Little girl, don’t leave your stuff by the door. Put it in your room.”
“I’m okay.”
“You’ve gotten so big. You’re a young lady now.”
I smiled.
The house looked the same. The only change was the olive green paint on the walls. As I looked around, I remembered me and Sissy playing the games we got from our Saturday morning scavenger hunts.
“Donny, I really don’t want to live with Steph. Can I stay here with you and Sissy?”
He took a seat at the oak kitchen table and invited me to do the same. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
My heart fluttered. “Why?”
“Well, I’m never home. Also, I don’t have enough room.”
I felt like he was lying to cover up the fact that he didn’t want me there. “What happened to the spare room?”
He paused. “Oh, it’s a storage room now.” He got up from the table and poured himself a cup of coffee. “I think its best that you stay with Steph for now,” he said. “But hey, you can come over whenever you want.” He grinned.
I wanted to challenge him, but I didn’t. “Okay.” I got up and walked to the door. Before leaving, I turned to him sitting at the table. “Thanks again.”
“You’re welcome, brat.”
I went to the car where Steph was waiting.
“Everything all right?” she asked, backing out of the driveway.
“Yep.” My feelings were hurt, but I buried it deep. I was silent. So was Steph. I spent the rest of the ride listening to the radio and looking out the window. It reminded me a lot of Mama. Truth was, me and Steph hadn’t spoken much about what happened in Mississippi. Every time I tried to bring it up, she ignored me or changed the subject.
I’m sure they never called the police on Twin. He basically got away with raping me. For that reason, I couldn’t forgive Steph. In my eyes, she was just as guilty as he was. I think ignoring what happened helped her deal with turmoil that was going on in her life. Maybe she felt if she didn’t push the subject, Carlos would stay with her. Perhaps that why she treated me and Meechie like we were her friends, not two wounded little girls she was responsible for taking care of.
Steph enrolled us at Mount Tahoma High School. Unlike at King, me and Meechie made a lot of friends. Steph let the boys from school come over and hang out with us. I thought it was weird. I think chilling with high school kids made her feel younger. I once heard a rumor at school that she was sleeping with one of our friends, Johnathon—a mixed boy with light eyes. I asked him, but he denied it. Still, I felt it was kind of gross for a 26 year-old woman to be screwing a 16 year-old boy. It gave me the same sick feeling in my stomach as the sight of Twin did.
Steph worked days as a nurse, but was usually home by 5:00 to cook dinner and get her kids ready for bed. Her and Carlos had an agreement. Every other week, they switched off with the kids. When they were spending the week with Carlos, Steph would have parties and make drinks for us and our friends.
“Did Steph tell you we’re having a party tonight?” Meechie turned a page in her math book.
“Really?” I sighed. “It’s Thursday.”
“Yeah, that’s what she said.” She stretched her leg out from her crossed-legged position and wiggled her toes.
“Who’s coming?”
“Probably Johnathon, the twins, and Shawn and Mike.”
“No girls are coming?”
Meechie looked up from her math book. “Do girls ever come?”
I didn’t like when Steph invited our friends over. I’m sure most teenage girls would love to have an alcoholic cousin who let boys come over and drink on a weekday, but I felt it was wrong.
“Dang! Why she always hanging with our friends?” I brushed my sandy brown hair into a ponytail and picked up some strands from my bed. Meechie shrugged her shoulders and went back to doing her homework.
There was a knock on the door. “Y’all ready to par-tay?” Steph did a little jig in the doorway.
“Yeah,” we answered drily.
“Y’all don’t act like it. Liven up. I’m going to make margaritas tonight. It’s going to be fun! I’m ’bout to change out of my work clothes and get ready.” Steph closed the door.
Me and Meechie looked at each other and shook our heads. A little while later, I could hear Steph singing to music in the living room.
“She’s listening to Baby Got Back,” I laughed.
I paused. “Meechie?”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“What? Why?” She gave me her full attention.
I glanced at my orange toenail polish, then answered. “I rather be with my dad.”
“You would leave here to find a man you don’t even know? You stupid.”
“I know…but I bet he would believe me if I told him someone raped me.”
Meechie closed her book. “Here we go again. Steph told me you didn’t even see who did that to you.” She picked up her book and shoved it in her book bag. “I was right next to you and I didn’t hear nothing. Why didn’t you scream or something?”
I snapped back. “What was I going to do, Meechie? He covered my mouth.”
“Shoot, you could’ve bit him or something.” She plopped back on her bed.
“So, you don’t believe me either?”
Meechie sat next to me. “All I’m saying is it’s time to move past it. Have some fun for once in your life. All you do is frown and pout. Give Steph a chance. She’ll make it up to you.”
It was like I was listening to Grandma all over again. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I didn’t want to give Steph another chance. I didn’t trust her. Also, I thought Meechie was the one that was stupid for believing in her. Furthermore, she never told me why she left me and Sissy in that wretched place, but took Meechie with her.
Around 7:00, Johnathon and the rest of the boys showed up.
“Come on, Meechie and Nikki,” Steph called from the living room. “They here!”
Steph greeting them with open arms and ushered them into the kitchen for their fill of alcoholic drinks.
I watched, but didn’t partake. I didn’t like the way I felt when I was drunk. Steph was always trying to get me to drink.
“You ain’t drinking?” she asked.
I put my hand up. “Nah, I’m good. I don’t like the way it makes me feel.”
“Ahhh, come on. Stop being a party
pooper. Just have a little bit.” She handed me a cup.
I stared at the cup for a moment, until I started to feel the pain
in my heart flare up once again. If this will take the pain away.
I’ll drink a little bit.
I grabbed the red plastic cup, then drank the berry-tasting concoction to its end. Then I poured myself another cup and drank it quickly.
The room started to spin. I felt like I was on a merry-go-round—loud music and laughing faces passed me by. My stomach began to feel queasy, so I found my way to my room and lay on my bed. I closed my eyes for what seemed like a few minutes.
I was awakened by banging and yelling in the hallway. When I opened the door, I could see a crowd forming in the front of the house. I went on the front porch and saw Carlos and Steph fighting in the front yard. Instantly, I had a flashback of Mama and TeeTee fighting at Grandma’s house.
Straight ahead there was a black Honda parked in the driveway with its lights on. There was so much chaos I could hardly decide if I should pay attention to the strange car or Carlos and Steph fighting.
“Go get that bitch, Meechie!” Steph yelled as her and Carolos tussled in the grass.
Meechie ran to the black car and banged on the window. A young Asian girl rolled down the window and barked some obscenities at Meechie. But, before she could roll up the window, Meechie reached in and pulled her out of the car by her long dark hair.
I gasped. “Oh my God, what in the hell is going on?”
Meechie kicked and punched the tiny Asian girl, but she managed to get away. She must have had enough of getting her butt kicked, because she jumped in her car and sped off. Carlos ran toward the car, but it was too late. She was gone.
“Ha-ha! That’s what she get!” Steph taunted Carlos. “That’s what happens when you bring yo’ hoes to my house.”
“I didn’t bring her over here—she followed me here!” he hollered. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
“Well, I can’t put my hands on her, so I got my little cousin to beat that ass!”
Carlos slapped Steph, but she came back with a haymaker to his left jaw.
“Nigga, don’t you ever put your hands on me again!” She kept on pounding on him until he tackled her.
They wrestled from the side of the yard to the sidewalk. She was kicking his ass so badly, he got frustrated and slammed her on the grass. I was frozen, but Meechie responded. “Uh-uh, you ain’t goin’ be hitting my cousin like that!” She came from behind Carlos and hit him in the head with a huge stick.
“Ouch!” He grabbed his head, then turned to come after Meechie. Steph clocked him again, this time knocking him down.
A silver car quickly pulled up and stopped on a dime. Donny and his girlfriend Margie hopped out. His brown tailored suit moved sleekly with his medium-framed body. Who called Donny?
“Stephanie, cut it out!” he shouted.
“Daddy, he put his hands on me!” she explained.
It took Carlos a few moments to get up from the ground. “Mr. Avery, I can explain.”
Donny stuck his hand out to stop Carlos and shook his head. “Son, you can’t explain shit to me. The next time you put your hands on my daughter, I’m going to kill your ass!” Donny pulled back his suit jacket and revealed the shiny silver gun hidden in his waistband. “Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.” Carlos held up his hands and backed away.
“Now, get your ass out of here!” Donny raised his arm and pointed to the street.
Carlos didn’t waste any time abiding by Donny’s orders. He ran to his car and sped off. Donny calmed down the situation and sent everyone home before leaving himself.
Damn! How is being here any different from St. Louis? I could’ve stayed home if I would’ve known it was going to be like this!
Me and Meechie got ready for bed and talked a little about the foolishness that had occurred that night.
“Man, did you see how Steph was kicking Carlos’s butt? She needs to be a boxer,” I said, laughing. “Who was the girl in the car?”
“The girl Carlos is cheating on Steph with. I guess she followed him over here when he came to get some clothes for the kids.”
“Why was they fighting anyway?” I pulled the covers over my body and fluffed my pillow.
“He was mad because she was drinking with Johnathon and them.”
I can see why he would be mad.
For a moment, Meechie was quiet. “You still want to leave?”
“Yeah, Steph got too much drama. I want to go to California.”
Meechie let out a big sigh and turned over. “Good night, girl.”
“Good night, Meechie.”
Dear God,
I can’t stay here anymore. I don’t fit in. I want to see my daddy. I’m tired of fighting. I want to feel whole. If you won’t help me find my daddy, please take me away in my sleep. I can’t bear another day of this mess. Send someone to save me. I’m begging you. Anywhere is better than here. Love, Nikki