Chapter Nine

Stay. The single word kept looping through Katerina’s thoughts, transitioning into the real meaning. Defect.

Was she crazy for even entertaining such ideas? He loved her. That pure and simple truth changed everything. A month ago, she never would have thought it possible to fall in love in such a short time, but she couldn’t deny the connection that had developed between them. She had tried to discount her feelings, afraid of the depth of emotions Robert stirred in her, yet she hadn’t been able to keep herself from slipping deeper and deeper into the world they had created together.

Breaking up with Robert had made sense five days ago when she had last stood on her balcony in Toronto. They didn’t have a future, so she’d needed to put him in her past. And she’d been miserable ever since. She couldn’t deny it. She loved him.

Robert’s note created new possibilities. What if they could build a future together? She closed her eyes and considered her options.

To be with Robert, she would have to leave everything familiar behind. She would never see her brother again, never meet his unborn child. Her home would become a distant memory, a place she could visit only in her dreams.

She looked around her dressing room, the flowers lying on the table in the corner. The card with Robert’s note was noticeably absent, and she suspected he had taken it with him in case someone read through the cards. He was learning.

She sat, gently removing her toe shoes, taking a moment to survey the most recent sores on her feet. The pain had become part of her life, one of the many sacrifices necessary to pursue her love of dance. If she defected, would she lose that part of herself as well?

Katerina changed into her street clothes. When she emerged from her dressing room, Tanya stood outside her door.

“Are you ready to go? The bus is waiting,” Tanya said.

“Yes.” Shifting her bag over her shoulder, she fell into step with Tanya and the handful of dancers who were waiting nearby. They were almost to the exterior door when she caught a glimpse of Robert standing next to it. Seeing the women approaching, he pulled the door open and held it as they passed through.

Katerina glanced up at him as she walked by, their eyes meeting for a brief moment. She managed to keep moving at a steady pace, but the familiar warmth flowed through her. Stepping outside, she breathed in the spring air, her mood lightening. This could be her home. A smile tugged at her lips, but she fought it.

A new life could be hers, but only if no one knew it was what she wanted.

Robert carried boxes of apples and oranges into what had been fashioned into a break room backstage. Dinner would begin shortly for the dancers who had been expected to stay at the theater in the time between their last rehearsal and their warm-ups for the show.

He set the fruit on the table and turned to go back to the food truck that had brought the evening meal. Katerina entered in a rush when he was still several meters from the door.

She came to a sudden stop, her surprise obvious.

“Robert.” His name passed her lips on a whisper.

He glanced around the room, noting that she had entered through the only door. Stepping to the side, he reached for her arm, pulling her with him so they would be out of sight if anyone entered.

“Stay,” he whispered.

She looked over her shoulder before bringing her gaze back to his. Uncertainty shone in her eyes, and he couldn’t resist pulling her to him. His lips lowered to hers.

Though the kiss was brief, the spark between them exploded, confirming what he already knew. In the past few weeks, Katerina had become his everything. His future unfolded before him, and he let his hopes and dreams spill out in his words. “I’ve missed you. Please tell me we can make a life together. I want you to be my wife. I want to give you my forever.” His lips brushed hers in a feather-soft kiss. “Will you marry me?”

Footsteps sounded in the hall, and Robert and Katerina broke apart. The door cracked open, and Robert quickly lifted the box of oranges to make it appear as though he had just arrived.

Tanya stepped inside, her gaze accusing. She said something to Katerina in Russian, pointing at Robert.

Robert set the oranges down a second time and stared at Tanya. In French, he asked Katerina, “What did she say?”

“She wants to know when dinner will be ready.”

“I have another load to bring in,” Robert said, not trusting that the other woman didn’t understand French. “Tell her I need another five or ten minutes.”

Katerina plucked an apple out of the box closest to her and relayed the message.

The two women continued to speak, and Robert took the opportunity to slide past Tanya to complete his duties. To his surprise, Katerina followed him out.

He turned back, all too aware of the dancers lingering nearby.

“What else is for dinner?” Katerina asked as though she hadn’t been party to their forbidden kiss.

“Chicken and vegetables.”

Her eyes met his, and she said, “Yes, I would like that.”

“You would?” Robert asked, uncertain if she was speaking of the food or of his earlier plea.

“Yes, very much.” Katerina’s lips lifted into the beginnings of a smile.

Though his heart raced, he nodded. With some effort, he managed to keep his voice steady. “I’ll be back with the rest of the food in a minute.”

“Wonderful.” Katerina lifted the apple to her lips and took a bite.

Hoping he looked as casual as she, Robert continued toward the back door, a sense of wonder flowing through him. He was getting married.

When he reached the exit, he passed two KGB agents. He was getting married, Robert repeated to himself, but first, Katerina had to escape.

He stepped outside and approached the truck, two more agents coming into view. How in the world was he going to get Katerina past these men? How could he make her free?

She was getting married, and she couldn’t tell a soul. At least, she hoped she was getting married.

Lying on her bed last night, Katerina could see it all. A white dress, a ring on her finger, and a bouquet of white roses mixed with those pretty purple flowers Robert sometimes brought her. Eventually, she would audition for the local ballet, but first, she would learn of the country she hoped would soon be hers.

She wanted to see for herself the markets with shelves full of food and the roads they could travel without papers. She would watch Robert play hockey, and together they would make a home, someday start a family.

In her quiet moments alone in her hotel room, the anticipation of it all wrapped her in joy that threatened to bubble over. When she arrived at the theater and saw the many security measures her troupe had in place, she instantly deflated.

Her emotions rose and fell throughout the day, her time on stage providing her with her only constant.

“It’s another sellout crowd,” Vitya announced a few minutes before the show began.

“Ivan must be very pleased,” Katerina said.

“Ivan will be pleased when he is home with his wife and daughter. Two months is a long time to be away.”

“We’re already halfway through.”

“Places!” Ivan demanded, his command sending the first-act dancers onto the stage.

The music swelled, the curtains opened, and the dance began. The energy from the audience carried them through the final act, Katerina eager to take her bows and have Robert bring her flowers from the audience. He didn’t disappoint. He carried an armful of flowers and handed her two bouquets.

She lifted her hand in acknowledgment to the audience, not looking at the floral arrangements until the applause faded and they left the stage. Then she noticed. A spray of nearly two dozen red roses and a second bouquet, this one with a dozen white roses and three purple flowers in the center. Her flower, the same kind Robert had given her.

Her grip tightened on the paper-wrapped stems, the edge of a card evident beneath her fingers.

The line of backstage guests seemed longer than usual, an eternity passing before she finally got to her dressing room, flowers in tow.

She closed herself inside and gently removed the flowers, retrieving the card curled around the base of the stems. She opened it and read the note written in Robert’s handwriting.

I meant what I said. I want our forever.

Katerina dug through her bag and fished out a pen. In the space below Robert’s note, she scribbled her response.

I want forever too, but how? They’re always watching.

She tucked the card back into the envelope and replaced it, curling it around the stems before rewrapping the flowers in the paper.

After she changed her clothes, she opened her door, her eyes scanning for any sign of Robert. To her relief, he stood a short distance from her dressing room door.

“Robert, I heard you got engaged recently,” Katerina said.

Surprise registered on his face for a brief moment before he controlled it. “That’s right.”

Katerina retrieved the flowers he had given her and the bouquet of red roses. “Here. Take these to your fiancée. I have more than my dressing room will hold.”

“Thank you. These will make her very happy.”

Katerina offered him a smile. “I’m glad.”