Period

Every family is different, and talking about periods is no exception. Some people discuss menstruation with a family member or friend before puberty even starts. Others will learn about how the female reproductive system works in school or from looking information up on their own. But before most people get The Talk or do their first Google search, they’re given clues about how menstruation works from popular culture.

ASK ANY WOMAN WHO CAME OF AGE BETWEEN THE 1970S AND 1990S TO NAME THEIR FIRST MEMORY OF PERIODS IN POP CULTURE AND, CHANCES ARE, A LOT OF THEM WILL MENTION JUDY BLUME’S 1970 NOVEL ARE YOU THERE GOD? IT’S ME, MARGARET.

Our first exposure is typically advertisements on TV, where we’re offered small, inaccurate clues about what periods are like. If we believed what we saw on commercials, we’d think period blood is blue and wearing tampons magically gives you the ability to ride a horse or scale a mountain on a bike (as much as I’d love to take credit for this observation, it’s been around for quite a while, notably appearing in Pulling Our Own Strings (1980), an anthology of feminist humor and satire). In reality, it’s bright red, much thicker than water, can include dark-colored blood clots, and doesn’t make you any more skilled in outdoor activities. If this isn’t something you’re prepared for, it can be unsettling and scary. After being taught all our lives that blood is the sign that something’s wrong, all of a sudden we’re expected to be perfectly fine with bleeding involuntarily in our underwear a few days a month. It goes against everything we know, and it’s completely normal for it to take a while to get used to this.

THANKS, MARGARET (AND JUDY!)

Ask any woman who came of age between the 1970s and 1990s to name their first memory of periods in pop culture and, chances are, a lot of them will mention Judy Blume’s 1970 novel Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. In the book, Margaret and her friends anxiously anticipate their first periods, ultimately walking the reader through the ups and downs of Margaret’s experience. For a lot of us, this was our introduction to periods. Sure, by the time I read it in the early 1990s, there were mentions of periods on TV and in the movies, but there was something extra private and secure about being able to read it in a book, at your own time and pace—rereading the same dog-eared pages to make sure you absorb it all before having to return the book to the library.

Another notable menstruation mention actually came five years earlier in The Long Secret (the 1965 sort-of sequel to Harriet the Spy, by Louise Fitzhugh). Although the book isn’t as inextricably linked to periods as Margaret, they are an important topic of conversation between Harriet and her friends Beth Ellen and Janie. Thanks to learning about periods from her Victorian grandmother, Beth Ann was under the impression that the bleeding was caused by rocks passing through her reproductive system. Janie puts an end to that rumor, reassuring Beth Ann and Harriet that that’s not what happens, and goes on to explain, in scientific detail, what actually happens during menstruation—disposal of the unused uterine lining and all. She also tells the girls that she’s working on developing a “cure” for periods (specifically for women who don’t want to have children), and that there is a (minor) upside to the monthly inconvenience: getting out of gym class.

FIRST PERIODS: LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU’RE A WOMAN NOW

First periods are usually shown as momentous occasions—a transition into “womanhood” (whatever that means). For some people it is. For others, it’s not. If you get your period and you feel completely different, more power to you. If you get your period and feel exactly the same, only now bleed once a month, that’s fine, too. If you get your period but don’t identify as a woman, that’s also a thing.

As Lauren Rosewarne discusses in her excellent 2012 book Periods in Pop Culture, the only place people are ever really comfortable with periods—and even here, “comfortable” is a stretch—is in a bathroom. This provides both privacy for the menstruating person as well as physical separation from men. It also suggests that periods are in the same category as other bathroom functions, like urinating or pooping: something gross that you can control. This comes up in the 2007 movie Superbad when Jonah Hill’s character gets upset when “someone period-ed” on his leg—as if it was something intentional and controllable.

IF YOU GET YOUR PERIOD AND YOU FEEL COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, MORE POWER TO YOU. IF YOU GET YOUR PERIOD AND FEEL EXACTLY THE SAME, ONLY NOW BLEED ONCE A MONTH, THAT’S FINE, TOO.

Not everyone has had the benefit of TV and films for learning about periods. In three “period period pieces”—representations of menstruation on-screen taking place in the past—characters each think they’re dying when they get their first period. In My Girl (which came out in 1991 but took place in 1972), Vada (Anna Chlumsky) screams and tells her father’s girlfriend that she’s “hemorrhaging” when she first spots period blood. In Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman (which aired from 1993–1998 and was set in the 1860s) and Anne with an E (based on L. M. Montgomery’s beloved Anne of Green Gables books, aired in 2017 and set in the 1890s), the characters of Colleen (Jessica Bowman) and Anne (Amybeth McNulty), respectively, think they’re dying when they first notice their periods. In all three situations, each of the characters’ mothers are dead and were not able to fill their daughters in on the ins and outs of menstruation, resulting in them believing they were dying.

In each of those shows, the characters eventually learn that menstruating is completely normal. That also happens in another period period piece—Mad Men (2007–2015)—Sally Draper (Kiernan Skipka), who is not particularly close with her mother, runs home to see her after getting her first period in the natural history museum. Her mother tells her that this is normal and means that “everything is working.” Similarly, in Roseanne (1988–1997; 2018), Darlene Conner (Sara Gilbert) gets her first period at the age of eleven and worries that it means that she’ll no longer be able to play baseball and instead will have to do things like wear panty hose. Her mother assures her that it doesn’t, telling her that “it’s almost magical” and that she “should be really proud today ’cause this is the beginning of a lot of really wonderful things in your life.” And just to keep it real, she acknowledges that cramps are also part of the deal.

Pop culture also tells us that there is no equivalent of getting a first period for boys. In My Girl, Vada says, “It’s not fair. Nothing happens to boys.” Along the same lines, in Anne with an E, Anne asks her classmates, “Do boys have to contend with anything like this?” Both characters feel unprepared and almost betrayed that their entry into adulthood is marked by blood and pain. Boys, on the other hand, are typically shown during puberty with voices dropping, masturbation, and wet dreams—none of which involve an element of pain and, if anything, are pleasurable or positive experiences.

A CURSE TO BE FEARED

Even though certain books, TV shows, and movies talk about periods, it doesn’t always involve characters assuring others that menstruating is normal and not something to be feared. For instance, variations of the man-to-man advice “never trust anything that can bleed for X days and not die” can be found throughout pop culture, including in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999). This idea positions menstruating women as creatures to be afraid of—dishonest and full of mysterious powers, likely used to the detriment of men—maybe even something inhuman. As Rosewarne points out, in 1976’s Carrie, the titular character obtains her telekinetic abilities during her first period; two years prior, Regan, Linda Blair’s character in The Exorcist, gets her powers—and possessed by the devil—as her period approaches. In some cases, fathers see it as their duty to educate their sons on the horrors of menstruation. In an episode of Roseanne, Dan Conner (John Goodman) finds his son, D.J. (Michael Fishman), running upstairs screaming. When Dan asks D.J. what’s wrong, D.J. tells him that his mother (Roseanne) was telling him about her period, to which Dan responds: “As you were”—implying that menstruation is so terrifying and horrific that it warrants running away and panicked shrieking. And it’s not just men who are taught to fear periods, as Blanche Devereaux (Rue McClanahan) demonstrated in an episode of The Golden Girls (1985–1992). She explains that she was terrified of The Curse, and only learned what it was two years after getting her period.

OUT, DAMNED SPOT

If periods are something men should fear because of the supposed supernatural powers that come along with them, women learn early on that we should be terrified of any visible stains during our period—a very public dead giveaway of this otherwise private bodily function. In Anne with an E, one of Anne Shirley’s classmates tells her that she stays home from school when she has her period out of fear of having an accident like someone else in their school did, instilling the fear of visible leakage in Anne, who places her hands behind her back the next time she stands up to answer a question in class.

A rare exception to this is in an episode of Broad City (2014–) when Ilana Wexler (Ilana Glazer) wears jeans with a very obvious period bloodstain while traveling in order to get through airport security without any TSA agents conducting a thorough-enough search to locate the marijuana she is bringing on the trip. In this case, Ilana turns this common plot point on its head, triumphantly using her period-stained pants—and the fact that most people find them disgusting—to her advantage. Another advance in talking about this aspect of periods, although the scene doesn’t actually show period stains, is found in an episode of Girls (2012–2017). Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham) tells her friend that she never knows when she’s going to get her period, so it’s always a surprise and is why her underwear are “covered in weird stains.” Even though as an audience we don’t see blood, the fact that Hannah is openly discussing these stains with her friend—as just another part of being in her twenties—destigmatizes the supposed horror we’re supposed to feel around having an “accident.” This also shows that even if you’ve been getting your period for several years, it doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself in a situation where you end up with unwanted underwear stains; this is just another normal thing that happens to a lot of people.

READ (OR WATCH) INSTRUCTIONS CAREFULLY

Despite the fact that Blume’s classic Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret was published in 1970, it has served as “Periods 101” for generations of women—myself included. What was infinitely easier than asking someone else about periods? Reading about them myself. This was one of the most checked-out and visibly-worn books in my Catholic elementary school library in rural Ohio. Reading it was a rite of passage, but it wasn’t only about Margaret’s fictional experience with her first period: For a lot of us, it was also an instruction manual, albeit in some cases, a very outdated one. In the first edition of the book, Blume describes the equipment Margaret used to handle her period, which involved a complicated system of pads, pins, belts, and hooks that frankly sounded like a medieval torture device when I was reading the book in the early 1990s (despite its being a popular book, our school library still had the original version). Turns out, Blume wrote in a 2011 post on her blog, pads became the norm a few months after Margaret was published, making the book immediately outdated. Although—at the suggestion of her editor—Blume had Margaret using modern pads in subsequent editions, the wildly popular first edition was already out there, along with the pins and belts. I imagine I wasn’t the only girl who was terribly confused—and also relieved—upon receiving a self-adhesive pad from my mother when I first got my period.

Even when periods are mentioned in other forms of pop culture, it’s rare that instructions and specifics, like the ones found in Margaret, are included. There are at least two notable exceptions to this, though—one of which is in a highly unlikely show for which the target audience is not prepubescent girls. It came in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm (2000–) when a Girl Scout comes to Larry David’s (Larry David) door selling cookies, at which time she gets her first period. In the show, Larry David plays a somewhat fictionalized version of himself—an awkward man in his sixties whose everyday life provides an opportunity to comment on various aspects of society (typically, the ones he finds most annoying). In other words, he’s not the most obvious character on television to be dealing with menstruation, let alone a girl’s first period. In this episode, David assures the Scout that she had her first period “in the right place” and runs upstairs to retrieve a tampon box his ex-wife left behind after she moved out. He gives her a tampon, but she doesn’t know how to use it, so he stands outside the (closed) door and reads out the instructions that came with the box, step-by-step, walking her through the process until she gets it in. In this case, you have a character (David) literally telling another character—and in turn, the viewers—how to insert a tampon.

Another example came in an episode of Anne with an E, when the titular character gets her first period. Book purists—or those faithful to the beloved 1985 CBC film adaptation—will be quick to point out that this was never described or shown in previous versions, but given the fact that the story centers around a girl’s adolescence and coming of age, it makes sense. Just after the opening credits, Anne is shown waking up in the middle of the night, startled, and running downstairs to heat water and wash her bedlinens. The camera pans to the washbasin, where a large bloodstain on white sheets clarifies that she’s gotten her first period. Marilla Cuthbert (Geraldine James)—Anne’s mother figure—finds Anne and tells her not to panic because this is a normal part of becoming a woman. She goes on to give Anne instructions on what to do: pin cotton cloths to her undergarments and wash them—first in cold water, then in hot water. Like in Margaret, this scene describes an outdated menstrual product, but the same method for washing period-bloodstained fabric that my mother taught me. Watching this in 2017, most of the audience will likely know that we’ve moved past pinning cloths to underwear, but at the same time, could benefit from the useful stain-removing tip.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING, APPARENTLY

Another aspect of menstruation that makes regularly scheduled appearances on television is the notion of periods being well, regularly scheduled. This can take the form of the myth of period synching—that a group of women who spend a lot of time together could end up on the same cycles—as well as the idea that these cycles can be used to keep track of time, or more frequently, the time of the month when male characters should be wary of ones who menstruate.

Let’s start with some facts: This whole concept of period synching first came about from a 1971 study (www.nature.com/nature/journal/v229/n5282/abs/229244a0.html) that tracked the cycles of just 135 women living in one particular dorm at a university. Despite numerous attempts, the same results have never been found again, but given how quickly society jumped at the opportunity to explain one of the many complicated aspects of periods, this myth spread and stuck. More recent research—involving a lot more menstruating people—released in 2017 confirms that there is no truth to this. But it was too late: Period synching has become a routine—I’d even say cliché—part of pop culture.

There are so many examples of this, including episodes of 30 Rock (2006–2013), The Office (2005–2013), and Community (2009–2015), where male characters remark on the fact that if the women in their inner circle spend a significant amount of time together, they will end up menstruating at the same time. In one of the very few episodes of Sex and the City (1998–2004) that even mentions periods, three of the women find that they are all menstruating at the same time. Unlike the other scenes mentioned above, this doesn’t involve commentary from a man, but rather is used as a device to show the close friendship of these women.

In addition to the synching myth, there are plenty of examples where (typically male) characters allude to the fact that they are tracking their female friends’ or colleagues’ menstrual cycles, usually as a way to prepare themselves for the wrath of the women they must deal with on a regular basis. In an episode of Community, Abed Nadir (Danny Pudi) tells his study group that he has been charting the menstrual cycles of each of the women in his study group and adjusts the way he treats each of them as a result. Similarly, in an episode of Friends (1994–2004), when Chandler Bing (Matthew Perry) tries to guess what Rachel Green (Jennifer Aniston) has in her grocery bag, whispering to Joey Tribbiani (Matt LeBlanc) that he thought it was some sort of menstrual product, and Joey responds, “No, not for like another two weeks,” demonstrating that he knows when she has her period. Finally, in an episode of Murphy Brown (1988–1998) Miles Silverberg (Grant Shaud) comments on his boss’s behavior, asking whether it is “the eighteenth already”—letting the audience know that he also keeps track of her menstrual cycle.

WELCOME TO THE PERIOD PARADOX

If you think society’s view of periods sounds like a no-win situation, you’re right. On the one hand, we’re expected to “suck it up”—just handle the pain and discomfort, and keep it to ourselves. After all, we know people think menstruation is gross and just part of being a woman, so no one wants to hear about it. On the other hand, there’s also the perception that periods are so debilitating for women—mentally, physically, and emotionally—that we couldn’t possibly hold positions of power or make high-level decisions as, say, an airplane pilot or politician. In other words, periods are simultaneously supposed to be so incapacitating that they’re used to exclude us, and something so routine and insignificant that we’re expected to just deal with it. This is what I call the period paradox—and yes, the idea is reinforced by pop culture.

The two episodes of Roseanne discussed earlier in this chapter clearly illustrate how the same show can perpetuate the period paradox. In one example, Dan gives D.J. permission to run away and scream in horror at the mere thought of his mother’s period. In the other, Roseanne reassures Darlene that yes, it hurts, but it’s normal—even “magical”—and doesn’t need to change anything in her life.

An episode of the NBC sitcom 30 Rock, appropriately named “TGS Hates Women” acknowledges, then pokes fun at the period paradox. Responding to a negative review of the show based on its one-dimensional portrayal of women, head writer Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) explains that with the (male) costar of the show gone, the previous episode of TGS exclusively featured Jenna Maroney (Jane Krakowski). The scene then cuts to clips from that show, where Maroney played Amelia Earhart losing control of her plane because she got her period (leaving her unable to fly a plane), and then–Secretary of State Hillary Clinton exclaiming, “Let’s nuke England!” because again, she had her period (leaving her unable to resist utilizing weapons of mass destruction). Cutting back to the TGS office, Lemon explains that those two examples are “an ironic reappropriation” of how women are typically shown in the media. She then goes on to say, “We should be elevating the way women are perceived in society,” before stopping abruptly, clutching her abdomen, and yelling, “Oh, my period—you’re all fired!” before collapsing backward. This reinforces the fact that whenever periods are shown on TV, it’s done in a context that undermines women, regardless of the show’s actual intentions.

SOMETHING’S MISSING

One of the only other times we see periods come up in television and films is when they are used in a pregnancy scare. For many people, a missed period is the first clue that they’re pregnant—but of course, not everyone has a regular twenty-eight-day menstrual cycle, so the suspicion of pregnancy has to be confirmed by taking a test. This creates drama, building up to the point of either the character taking a pregnancy test or getting her period unexpectedly.

When Blanche Devereaux’s period is late on an episode of The Golden Girls, she assumes that she is pregnant and, along with her roommates, starts planning for a later-in-life baby. But when she visits the doctor for confirmation, she finds out that not only is she not pregnant but that’s also no longer likely: She is going through menopause. On Sex and the City, Samantha Jones (Kim Cattrall) hasn’t gotten her period in nine weeks and suspects that she’s “all dried up”—meaning, starting menopause—so she agrees to go on a date with a man she finds repulsive, assuming that no one else would be interested in her. She ends up getting her period while having sex with him—interestingly, the only time the groundbreaking show addressed the topic of period sex.

While first, last, and missed periods make the best plots, what’s really missing from pop culture are realistic depictions of all the years in between puberty and menopause. An entire episode of Broad City (2014–) revolves around Abbi Abrams (Abbi Jacobson) getting her period while on an international flight. It’s not her first, nor her last: It’s one of many periods Abbi will get throughout her life. Regardless of how many apps you use to track your cycle or fertility, there are times when your period will be irregular and take you by surprise and, like Abbi, you may be left to improvise menstrual products. Another example of run-of-the-mill menstruation is a scene in 20th Century Women (2016) when Abbie (Greta Gerwig) announces that she has her period at a dinner party. Another period period piece, it takes place in 1979, when this was an even more unusual topic of conversation than it is today. Abbie tries to get the rest of the people at the table to be comfortable with the word menstruation and makes each guest repeat it, with conviction. It’s not a coincidence that the two examples of normal, non-milestone menstruation are the most recent: As we’re becoming more comfortable—or at least more vocal—about periods, the more we’ll see them pop up on-screen, leaving their mark on anyone who watches.