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Walking along the beach the next morning, I marveled as my footprints were washed away by an incoming wave, amazed at the vast beauty all around me. Beginning each day beside the ocean was a habit of mine these days, and it had a calming effect on my frazzled nerves. I basked in the solitude, reveling in the fact that there wasn’t another person for miles around this morning.
Checking my phone for about the hundredth time since I’d awakened, I looked to see if there was a new text from Kelsey. She’d left Seattle an hour ago to make the two-hour drive to Woodridge, and she would be staying with me for three glorious days. I couldn’t wait. We hadn’t seen each other since she flew to New York last year for a visit, and the anticipation was killing me.
Kelsey’s visit was coming at the perfect time. Even though I was growing emotionally stronger every day, I was still so close to the edge that I often feared another stressful event might just send me toppling over. Her presence grounded me; she was my rock.
My phone buzzed.
Kelsey: I had to stop and stretch. Don’t panic. I’ll be there in a little over an hour.
I decided I should head back home and shower, so I didn’t look as if I’d just crawled out of bed when she arrived.
I made my way down the path, the thick fog hanging in the air like a blanket and reducing my visibility. In the distance, I heard voices, but the conversation was drowned out by the roar of the ocean behind me. As the voices drew closer, my heart thudded in recognition. It was Sam and Bridget, and I was unable to escape.
“Hope!” Bridget ran to me and threw her little arms around my waist, hugging me tightly. I hadn’t seen her in weeks, and from the excited look on her face, she was happy to see me. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much. I haven’t seen you in so long!”
“Hey, Bridget, I’ve missed you too. I’ve been really busy helping my mom. How are you?” I swallowed, feeling like I’d suddenly eaten a mouthful of sand as Sam’s handsome face came into view.
“Hello, Hope. It’s good to see you again.” He looked hesitantly at me.
“Sam. I hope you’re doing well.” My voice sounded so formal, but it was the only way to control the urge I had to throw myself into his arms.
“Yeah, I’m doing all right.” He shrugged and smiled, but his face held such sadness. I wondered if being this close was as hard for him as it was for me.
“Bridget’s missed seeing you.” He put his arm protectively around his daughter as he spoke, as if to shield her from the pain I’d caused by my absence. I felt horrible for disappointing Bridget.
“I know, and I’ve missed her too. It’s been hard.... Mom’s having a rough time with her chemo and it seems my days just fly by.” It was the truth, but I also knew it was a convenient lie.
“It sounds like maybe you need a break. How about you come over for dinner tonight? It will be good to catch up, and Bridget will be thrilled to have some time with you.” Sam’s eyes locked on to mine. The depth of feeling nearly knocked me off my feet.
“Yes! Please, please, please, Hope? Come over for dinner!” Bridget hugged me again tightly as she jumped up and down and begged. When her little blue eyes looked up at me, I had no idea how I could refuse.
I wanted to run, hide; anything I could do to get away from Sam. I would rather eat nails than sit painfully through family dinner at his house. I couldn’t sit across from Annie, in the home she’d made with my Sam, and politely say “please pass the potatoes.” As much as I wanted to be mature about the whole thing, what I really wanted to do was throw the potatoes in her face. I knew I’d made the mistake of letting Sam go, but an irrational part of me still held her partially responsible. No, thank you. That was not an experience I intended to have anytime soon.
“I’m sorry. I really can’t. Kelsey will be arriving this afternoon to spend a few days with me.” I smiled benignly, happy I had a legitimate reason to say no.
“Kelsey? I haven’t seen her in years. It would be great to catch up with her, too. Bring her along. Both of you come over.” Sam’s enthusiasm was annoyingly cute and hard to ignore. He was trying very hard to convince me. Maybe it was time to finally make amends with Annie and Sam and accept their relationship. I’d done a lot of hard things since I’d come back home, but I didn’t know if I could do that.
“Come on, Hope. I miss you. I want to show you my room. We just painted it. Come have dinner with us.” Bridget gave me her imploring, puppy-dog eyes and I melted.
It was impossible for me to say no to that girl. I didn’t want to hurt her, and since they’d also invited Kelsey, I no longer had a convenient excuse. My resolve began to crumble.
“Well, I suppose we can....” I couldn’t believe I’d just agreed, but when Bridget’s face lit up with excitement, I knew I had to go through with it. There was no backing out now.
“Perfect. We’ll see you around seven o’clock, then. Come on, Bridget. Let’s see what treasures the ocean washed up for us this morning.” Sam grabbed his daughter’s hand, and they continued on the path toward the beach while I trudged home, kicking myself for not shouting an emphatic no to their invitation.
What was I thinking, agreeing to dinner with Annie and Sam? It was a disaster just waiting to happen. How in the world was I going to smile politely while they cozied up to each other at the dinner table? I would either say something horrible or run away in tears. Either option didn’t sit well with me.
The only silver lining to that dark cloud was at least Kelsey would be with me. She could be a buffer between me and the happy couple. I wondered how upset Annie would be when Sam went home and told her he’d invited us to dinner. I couldn’t imagine she’d be pleased about the situation. We’d never gotten along, even before everything that happened between her and Sam.
I sighed as I went inside to shower. Kelsey would arrive soon, and I was looking forward to that, even if I had just signed my death warrant by agreeing to dinner at Sam’s house.
###
Mom was resting and Kelsey and I had just finished lunch. Our empty plates sat on the table beside us as we lounged on the porch swing. I couldn’t believe she was here, sitting beside me on my porch, just as we’d done a million times when we were young.
“I’m glad you’re here, Kel. I’ve missed you so much.” I squeezed my best friend’s hand.
“Me too, sweetie. Daniel and the boys were sorry they couldn’t come too. Personally, I’m happy to be getting a little time away from them. I’m selfish, and I want all of your attention. I refuse to share the next three days with anyone.” She laughed, her wild, contagious belly laugh, and I couldn’t help but join in. She had that effect on people.
“So much has happened since I came back. I feel like I’m about a hundred years older, but it’s been good, too. I have important news to tell you.”
“Have you seen Sam again?”
“I did a nice job of avoiding him for the last couple of weeks, but that came to a crashing halt this morning. I ran into him and his daughter, Bridget, on the beach. They invited us over for dinner tonight.”
“You said no, right?”
“Of course I said no.” I rolled my eyes, wishing that was the end of it. “But then Bridget begged me to come, and I sort of said yes. You’re invited too. Say you’ll go with me. I can’t go alone.”
“Hope, I cannot believe you agreed to this. You’re out of your mind. You’re going to sit down to dinner with Annie? You’re going to watch the love of your life in his house with his wife? You’re just a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?” Kelsey shook her head at me, but she had a knowing smile on her face.
“It was because of Bridget. She’s such a sweetheart. I can’t say no to her! Just wait until you meet her. You’ll see. She’s like a miniature version of Sam, and she melts my heart. Besides, I’m more than a little curious about the situation with Annie. I’ve been home for months and I have yet to see her. It’s weird. Bridget’s never mentioned her. She totally clammed up the one time I asked her about her mom. It’s like Annie’s a ghost or something. I need to find out what’s going on.”
“Sucker.” Kelsey giggled at me. “Of course I’ll go. I wouldn’t send you to the guillotine all by yourself. I’ll be there to watch it all go down, and I’ll pick up your head after it rolls.”
“Thanks a lot.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
“And we will spend all afternoon getting ready. You have to be drop-dead gorgeous when Annie lays eyes on you after all these years.”
“I love you, Kel. It’s like you read my mind.” I was so glad she was here. “There’s more, too. I know who my dad is.”
“What? Are you trying to give me a heart attack? How can you be so casual about it? How did you find out?”
“I found an old box of letters up in the attic. They were from Mom’s first love. Long story short, I read them all and found out that this mystery man named Max is my father. I asked her about it, and she told me the truth. You’re never going to guess who it is. Not in a million years.”
“Who? Tell me.”
“Will Maxwell.”
“You’re kidding. He’s your father?” Kelsey looked at me for a minute before she continued. “Come to think of it, you do look a lot like him. Weird.”
“I know, right? I thought the exact same thing after I found out. You know, Will and Mom loved each other so much when they were young. It’s a shame they never ended up together.”
“Well, neither of them ever got married. Maybe they’re still in love.”
“No, I can’t imagine that after all these years.”
“Are you kidding me? You of all people should know that it’s entirely possible. Look at how you still feel about Sam.”
“Maybe you’re right. I never really thought of that. You know, Mom and I are more alike than I ever knew. She’s changed so much. I really want some happiness for her.”
“She’s certainly due for some. And so are you.”
“I think she’s far more likely to get her happy ending than I am. After all, the love of my life has his own family.”
“Speaking of the love of your life, let’s go upstairs and decide what you’re going to wear to dinner tonight. It needs to be something that makes Sam regret losing you, and makes Annie green with envy.”
Kelsey grabbed my hand and dragged me inside.
