We can now begin to build a deeper familiarity with the seven Empathic Archetypes. A method we’ve found helpful is to think about someone in your life or the world who personifies each archetype the most. Think of this exercise as discovering your archetype exemplars.
To some, the Convener, whose behavior is to host, immediately brings to mind Martha Stewart or other well-known lifestyle gurus. Others might imagine a maître d’ at their favorite restaurant or their yoga instructor. Each of these perfectly embodies the spirit of the Convener.
Assign to each archetype a real-life person who embodies its behavior. Doing so will help bring the archetypes alive for you and will bring them closer to your own reality. It will also help you understand and work with the archetypes more readily.
Self-Assessment and Application
Once you have a better understanding of the archetypes, it’s time to connect with your personal strengths and weaknesses. You must be honest with yourself about this work. No one is evenly distributed across all seven archetypes; a good way to determine where you index on each of them is to personalize them.
Personalizing the Archetypes
Reread each of the archetypes, keeping in mind the real-life exemplars you have assigned to each one. Now, for each archetype, look back on your own life and identify a moment in your past where you clearly embodied the archetype fully. Remember how it felt when you were in that moment. Were you happy? Anxious? At ease?
As you do this exercise, journal your memories of these experiences. Consider how easy or hard it was for you to find an example in your past. Did it come to you immediately, or was it difficult to find one? How did you feel in those moments? Was the feeling natural or unnatural? These are the clues that will help you to understand your strengths and weaknesses across all seven archetypes.
Use the spider graph on the next page, or one you sketch yourself, to plot where you felt most to least comfortable with each archetype, and a clear picture will start to emerge.
With this assessment of where you stand with the strengths and weaknesses of each archetype, you can begin “trying on” each one. One of the ways I try to improve my ability to shift among archetypes with greater ease is by pushing myself to work through the ones that make me the most uncomfortable. You can also identify specific ways you can “show up” in the perspective of a particular archetype and make them part of your daily practice.
For example, let’s look at the Alchemist, whose behavior is testing and learning, experimentation at all costs. Ask yourself each day how you can challenge yourself to experiment. It doesn’t have to be huge. You don’t need to dive into particle physics. Perhaps you have always been intimidated by cooking. Now is your chance to pick up some groceries and make something for yourself. You will probably not like the feeling of being outside of your comfort zone, but stick with it.
See how you look at problems from this perspective. How do you grapple with not knowing how the dish will turn out while you’re prepping the ingredients? Does it make you anxious? Those who thrive in this archetype become exhilarated at this moment of experimentation. See if you can find a way to experience the joy that comes from this experimentation. Over time, you’ll discover how the mind of an Alchemist works and the sort of state you can embody in order to connect with it more fully. Do the same for each archetype in order to understand your strengths and weaknesses better.