Francis

Getting That Lady Hole a Good Workout

 

“Come on, Frannie, you can ride in front with me.”

My doe eyes widen in surprise. “But, I thought—”

“I know what I said, but today, you can ride up front with me. We’re just going to the market. I see no harm in it.”

I can’t hide my excitement. Momma’s car, or Miss Russet as she’s been named since it’s as red as a fire engine, is the size of a boat. I have to sit in the way back because it’s safer and Momma always worries I’ll get hurt. Lately she’s been super sad and I feel so far away from her. I itch to escape from my seat belt and wrap my little arms around her, but I know that’s not safe. It would make Momma more upset.

“Well, come on now. The day is getting away from us.”

I don’t wait another second and run into the open driver side door, jumping into the front seat. It’s just like the back, one long seat. A whole family could sit up here if they wanted to. I open my mouth to tell Momma, but her sad smile has me shutting my eager lips. We don’t have a big family. It’s just us two. I want to be enough for her, but I can tell she misses my daddy. I’m only five, but I try every day to be strong when she’s not. But she’s sad a lot. Miss Mabel tells me it’s not for me to worry, but I do. I don’t want Momma to be sad. I heard her crying in her room last night. I fell asleep with my favorite pillow and blankie outside her door, just in case she called me. She always says my hugs fix everything.

I hurry and buckle myself in and wait patiently for her to climb in. Shutting her door, she turns her smile on me and places the key in the ignition. The car purrs to life and I watch her fade off into one of her memories.

“Watcha thinkin’ about, Momma?”

She blinks away her memory, swiping at a tear. “Oh, nothin’, baby girl. Just… just how time is going by so fast. On this day, eight years ago, your daddy bought me Miss Russet from a used car dealership. He wanted something new or flashy, but I insisted we didn’t need somethin’ so fancy or big. But your daddy, he was a bossy one.” She pauses, falling back into her memory. “Said we would need the space for the dozen babies we were gonna have. That if I wouldn’t let him splurge on me, at least he’d get the size we needed.” She wipes at another tear. “Said with the wide-open seat, he’d always be able to drive with one arm around me.”

“I can sit next to you, Momma. And you can wrap your arm around me.”

Her smile hurts my belly. It’s sad and I’m afraid I’m going to not be strong for her and cry. I want to cry.

“Just like this?” she says and places her arm around my tiny shoulders. I want to ask more questions about Daddy. She barely mentions him, and when she does it’s in times like this, when she loses herself to memories and her words slip. I wish he were still here so I could love him just as much as she does.

“Maybe one day when you start driving, we’ll get a smaller car. This thing sure seems silly now, doesn’t it?”

I can’t imagine not riding in Miss Russet. I’ve always felt closer to him when we’re in it. I know she does too. “No, Momma. I want to drive Miss Russet when I grow up. I want Daddy to look down on me from heaven and see. Maybe one day I’ll have tons of babies to fill it. Or doggies. Miss Mabel’s neighbor had puppies and they’re for sale. If no one buys them, maybe I can use my money from my piggy bank to give them a good home.”

It’s felt like forever since I’ve heard the sweet sound of her laugh. She tilts her head back and laughs, patting me on the shoulder, before releasing me and putting the car into reverse.

“Sure, baby. One day. But how about we focus on those fresh blueberry muffins Judith from the bakery promised.”

I nod, my pigtails bouncing up and down. She’s right. I should probably have a full belly before becoming a momma.

I wake with a start.

Confusion surrounds me as I focus on my surroundings. Missing is the smell of Miss Russet’s old leather, or the purring of her engine.

“Hey.”

I turn to Luca, memories bringing me back to the present. The car chase. The explosion. Leaving Momma’s car.

“Hey,” I whisper, trying to adjust myself in the large, yet still compact seat of the SUV. “Where are we?” I question, pushing back the emotions that I left her behind. She’s gone. Momma’s car Daddy bought her—

“Since we’re now past Kansas City, we’re set to stop soon. Are you hungry?”

I’m sad. Regretful. On the verge of begging for us to turn back and save her. “No, I’m okay.” Chandler jumps up from the back seat and begins barking. “But I think someone has to go piddle.” I smile, rubbing at his favorite spot behind his ears.

“All right. It’s getting dark anyhow. Perfect time to scope out a place to stay for the night.” I nod and stare out the window, admiring the scenery. I always pictured Kansas looking just like it did in The Wizard of Oz, which it does. Lots of corn fields, but now with lots of buildings and houses. Dorothy would have loved it.

We take the exit and the first town we hit, Luca pulls into a gas station. “Sit tight, okay? I’m going to try and finagle some food. It won’t be anything fancy, but I think we need to lay low from now on. Probably have to ditch the car for another soon as well. Be right back.” And he’s hopping out and heading into the small convenience store.

I search for Chandler’s leash. “Well, we certainly can’t have you doing your business in this fancy car now.” Clipping his collar, I coddle him under my arm and jump out. We make our way to a small patch of grass and I give Chandler some privacy as I search out my surroundings.

“Oh shoot…” I scrunch my nose as I take in the payphone. My eyes scan the convenience store. “Hmmm… maybe just a quick call.” Chandler growls. “I know, but what’s one little call?” More growling. “Oh, you just focus on number two. We know how grumpy you get when you don’t do poopoo every few hours.”

I tell myself if Luca comes out before it takes me the long trek to get to the payphone—“Oh look, we’re here!” I pick up the receiver and dial in my little trick and before too long it’s ringing. The phone line connects, followed by giggling.

“Yello?” More giggling.

“Beatrice?”

“Who wants to—Frannie? Is that you?” I hear rustling in the background.

“Yeah, it’s me. What are you doing?”

More rustling. The sound of a man’s grumble. Is that— “Girl, where have you been? I know I said adventure, but I didn’t mean disappear!” Chuckling. Did someone just get slapped?

“Bea, what are you doing?” I can tell she covers the phone because I hear muted whispering. “Are you alone?”

“Hell, mind your business. Now, where the hell are ya?” That’s when I hear the faint sound of Henry’s voice. “Shhh! She’ll hear ya!”

“Um, I already have. Are you and Henry…” I’m not even sure if I can say it!

“Knockin’ boots? Well, ya kept pushin’ it! And boy can he read Jane Austen.” More rustling.

“Hey, sweetie.” Hearing Henry’s voice brings a rush of joy. Boy, do I miss home.

“Hey there, Henry. I take it Bea enjoyed your meatloaf?”

“Oh, she sure did, and the food was good too!”

I gasp, covering my eyes, as if I’m about to see something I shouldn’t be. “Henry!” I yell. No need to tell me the details.

More scuffling. “Give me that phone, old man—Listen. You need to come home. Mabel’s on the hunt for ya. What kind of area code is seven-eight-five? That doesn’t sound close. Is it close? Henry, where is seven-eight-five?”

“How the hell should I know?”

“You were in the Navy, ya geezer! Don’t they teach you that code system?”

“You mean Morse code?”

More slapping. “Hell, where ya at, child?”

I look around for a sign. “Wamego, Kansas.”

I think she drops the phone. Scuffling. “What the hell you doing in Kansas? Please tell me you’re getting that lady hole a good workout—Dammit! You wretched old hag! Get out of my room! Henry and I are nak—”

Mabel cuts off the end of that terrifying statement. “Francis, you better have a good explanation for this. This is completely out of character for you.” My heart sinks at Mabel’s angry tone. I forget in all of this, I left them to fend for the shop, with no instruction.

“I know, and I’m sorry. I can’t really explain right now, but…but…” I have no idea how to explain the last few days of my life. I was kidnapped by a con artist who needs me for collateral for a mobster who wants me. No idea why. And in the process, he’s showed me more adventure than I’ve seen in the whole twenty-two years of my life. Not to mention passion. Real life passion. And how do I tell them that I think I’m falling for him? I hear a bell in the distance and see Luca pop out of the convenience store. Shoot. “Gotta make this quick. Bullet points only. I was kidnapped by a man whose family was kidnapped and he needs to take me to someone who wants me, but I have no idea who he is, but he’s a mobster and may be Andy Garcia and I’m his captive but kinda like not his captive and we’ve become partners. Kinda like Bonnie and Clyde, hopefully minus the shootout part, which we’ve kinda already been in, and I think I may have Stockholm syndrome because I really like him even though he’s a con and handsome and he kisses—”

Luca rips the phone out of my hand. I wait for him to slam it on the receiver and start yelling. Instead, he stares me down, those eyes eating away at my soul, and brings the receiver to his ear. “Who is this?”

Then he pulls it away. Even Chandler starts to bark at Mabel’s yelling.

“Excuse me? I—I—Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. Her what? Lady—Christ.” He looks at me, one confused brow shooting to the sky. “I have kissed her. Many times. Yes. No, I did not know she’d never been kissed before me. I did enjoy it.” His mischievous smile has me losing my balance. I grab for the payphone. “Oh… I didn’t know that either.” Gone is the smile, in its place seriousness. “Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. Promise. Complete gentleman. At this point, I think we’re each other’s captive.” He guns it for me, those eyes. Shoot. “It’s been a pleasure, but time’s up. Have a good day.”

He hangs up the phone. I’m in shock. I don’t know what to say. I want to know what Mabel asked or what she said. Luca doesn’t say anything either. He grabs my hand and takes the leash from my grip.

“Let’s go. I have a surprise for both of you.” And with a grin from ear to ear, he starts escorting Chandler and me back to the car.

The ten-minute car ride is silent. Luca hasn’t lost his smile, and I haven’t lost my worried expression. At least it wasn’t Beatrice he spoke to. Mabel is levelheaded. She wouldn’t say anything bad. Would she? My eyes are trained straight ahead, so I don’t sneak a glance at the driver’s side. We’re riding through a small town, a row of quaint little shops and—

“Oh my, stop! Look!” I point at a huge sign reading, Oz Museum. Luca doesn’t obey and continues to drive. “Luca! Stop! Did you see it! It does exist!” He stops at a stop sign, but instead of turning around, he makes a left-hand turn and continues. “Stop right now, or I’m jumping out of this vehicle.” Which will hurt since we are so high from the ground. These big cars are nonsense. He takes another left turn into a back alley. “If you just turn around in here, I saw a parking spot right up front.” Instead, he pulls into a spot in the back. “What are you…” I trail off when he puts the car in park and looks ahead.

“The museum’s closed,” he says.

My expression falls. “Oh.”

“Or in con artist language, it’s closed for a private viewing.” He pats my thigh. “Let’s go. Bring the snacks.” He climbs out of the car. It takes me a moment to gather myself, then scoop up Chandler.

By the time I’m even to the back entrance of the museum, Luca’s managed to cut the wire to the camera and jimmy the lock. “After you, my lady.”

A jolt of excitement shoots all the way down to my toes. Even Chandler can’t handle it and wiggles out of my arms and races inside. While entering, Luca presses a huge lever and the place comes to life. Lights blast through the large room, accentuating each display.

My eyes can’t take it all in fast enough. Life-sized statues. Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion, the Tin Man, and Scarecrow. Chandler starts yapping when he finds Toto. “Look, Luca, it’s a replica of her tiny home in Kansas.” I hurry up to it and gasp in delight when I see the ruby red slippers sticking out from under the house. “Oh my! They even have the shoes!” One after another I take in each display, my heart rate at an all-time high, my excitement on overdrive. “Oh look, Chandler, the haunted forest. Better turn back.” I giggle, knowing he always hides under the blankets during that scene. When we arrive at the glass cases, I sigh heavily, my hand lifting to cover my heart.

“What’s that big sigh for?” Luca asks, nudging me with his shoulder.

“It’s a replica of the costume Dorothy wore. Well, Judy Garland wore. It’s…beautiful.”

Luca chuckles and I slap him in the chest, probably hurting my hand more than it hurt his solid stomach. “Okay, okay, it’s beautiful.”

“It is,” I whisper, my mind starting to turn. My foot starts to tap.

Tap, Tap. Tap.

“Okay, what’s going on in that squirrel brain of yours now?” he asks.

Round and round, the thought that if I just…

“Spit it out, babe, before you hurt yourself.”

“I just think… We’re in here. Private viewing and all. No one would mind if I maybe… tried it on.”

I watch his eyes widen through the reflection of the glass. His lips spread into a humorous grin, but he refrains. Maybe it was a silly suggestion.

“In this adventure, there are zero restrictions. If my girl wants to wear Dorothy’s dress, she’s wearing her dress,” he says with laughter in his tone, but he does something so romantic, my heart does a triple flip inside my chest. He goes to the side of the glass case and jimmies open the lock.

Luca steps to the side and my eyes light up as I climb into the glass case and retrieve the costume. Chandler jumps in too and wrestles out the Toto stuffed animal and runs away with it.

“I’ll just be a moment,” I say and follow the lit sign for the restroom. Once inside, I hug the blue and white dress to my chest. Knocking from the other side of the door startles me and I jump. “Yes?”

“I’m leaving something by the door.”

“Okay. I’ll be right out.” Undressing as quickly as possible, I slide into the costume. Surprisingly it fits quiet well. Smells a bit musty. I giggle at myself when I swiftly braid my hair to match the part and when I open the door, my breath catches. The ruby red slippers. I bend down and slip them on my feet. A little snug but nothing that I won’t endure for a short time.

I find Luca sitting in front of Dorothy’s house, a Wizard of Oz blanket from the gift shop now on the floor, Dorothy’s picnic basket next to him, along with Chandler and a half torn up stuffed Toto. Hopefully they have more of those in the gift shop.

“Wow,” he starts and pats the open spot next to him.

“I know. Silly, right?” I say, taking my seat.

“Not at all. You actually look just like her.” My smile widens from ear to ear. Every girl dreamed of being Dorothy, wearing the ruby red slippers, skipping down the yellow brick road, and making a billion little munchkin friends. I’m no different.

“Thank you.” I blush, smoothing out my dress. Taking in the basket, I say, “I’m not sure Chandler will travel well in the basket. As you can see, he doesn’t care for Toto too much.” Chandler rips off Toto’s nose.

“Going to change up the storyline a bit.” He opens the picnic basket and pulls out sandwiches, chips, and some cookies from the convenience store. Not realizing how hungry I truly am, I accept the food and start chowing down.

“Tell me about your childhood.”

“’Scuse me?” Luca says, taking a hefty bite of his own sandwich.

“Where did you grow up? Did you have any pets? Were you happy?” I want to know everything about him. His favorite color, food, game growing up.

“My childhood was shit. Lindsay and I had a shit mother who was nasty in her words and liked to hit. Chose booze over her children. I had to step up and raise Lindsay when Mom would forget to buy groceries and shit, so I started taking odd and end jobs. We couldn’t afford pets. Lindsay did win a fish once at a state fair. Never seen anyone so ecstatic to win a stupid goldfish. Had the damn thing not two days, though, before our mother did what she always did and ruined it for her. Barfed in the fucking bowl.”

“How awful!” I couldn’t even imagine having a mother who was unloving and cruel. Momma made sure not a single moment went by that I didn’t feel special and important.

“Mom OD’d on heroin not two days later,” he says with a tired sigh. “My sister was fifteen and because I didn’t want the state to take her, I grabbed Lindsay and got the fuck out of there. Learned to survive on our own.”

What a sad story.

“Is that when you became a con?” I regret asking. It makes him sound like a criminal. He is, silly. He’s a nice, handsome one at least.

“It was probably the day of the fair.”

“What do you mean?”

“The goldfish. Lindsay had blown all the tickets I hijacked off some kid, not even close to getting the ping-pong ball into the little bowl. So, when the attendee turned to grab a fish, I threw her ball into the bowl. Won the fish, stole the food. I’ve been conning my way through life ever since.” He waggles his eyebrows, his deviant smile causing me to blush. “Enough about me. Tell me something about you.”

I don’t know where to start with that question. It feels wrong to talk about my perfect childhood when his was so horrible.

“Tell me one of your best childhood memories,” he urges.

I try and pinpoint one, because I had so many with Momma. “Momma used to always take us to the farmers’ market. Large orders would come through the antique shop and we’d have extra money to get these blueberry muffins. They’d still be warm, and Momma always bought three. One for me, one for herself, and always one for Daddy. She said it was his favorite. It was our time we spent remembering him. Even though she spent most of her days with her thoughts on Daddy.”

Luca’s hand brushes up my thigh. “What happened to him?”

“He died when I was a baby. Momma never really told me how. I tried to ask, but she’d always get so upset. Before she died, she said one day there would come a time when I would be hurt by someone, and when that time comes, I need to forgive in order to move on and find peace. I think she had a hard time forgiving him for dying. But when she made her way into heaven, I believe her heart felt solace knowing she was going to be with him again.”

His other hand reaches up and wipes away a tear. “And they both left you here in this scary world, alone, having to fend off scary bad guys and handsome con artists?”

Crimson paints my cheeks. “Oh boy, you heard that?”

“Not to mention the intriguing information your angry friend gave me. While also threatening me.”

Oh my Lord, what did she tell him?

He leans in and to my surprise, places his lips to mine. He presses ever so gently, not making a move to take it any further before he pulls away. “Lots of very revealing things…”

Oh, someone just put me down. Now, why in Sam hell would she embarrass me like that? I mean, he technically already knows about my level of inexperience because of our drinking game, but it still stinks for him to have it confirmed by my dumb best friends.

“Hey, little squirrel. Don’t worry. I promised her I’d take good care of you.” He kisses me quick. “Be a gentleman.” Another kiss. “Treat you the way you deserved to be treated.” Another kiss. “And to make sure it was extra special if you allowed me to unlock your chastity belt of virginity.” His lips curl into a smile as he takes mine and kisses me hard, refusing me the opportunity to get up and run into oncoming traffic.

“Old people. They’re all senile,” I say with a huff. “Must be off her meds again.”

His laughter against my lips feels glorious. He kisses me senseless until I’m on the verge of passing out if I don’t take a time-out for air. I totally get it now, in the romance books how kissing can steal your breath. He pulls away, his eyes finding mine.

“Some other woman got on the phone and made me promise to take you on a proper date before deflowering you too.”

Those two women are dead to me.

“Hey, look at me. You know I’d never do anything you didn’t want as well, right?”

I nod, scared to admit what I truly do want.

“I can’t deny there’s something starting to happen between us. Fucked up, I know. Because you shouldn’t like me, you should hate me. But I can’t help but want more than just your first kiss, your first touch. I can’t offer you a future, because hell, I have no idea where my own lies. For the time spent together, I sure as fuck want to offer you the world.”

My hand is up and wrapping around his neck, pressing our lips together in the “best speech” kiss of a lifetime. He doesn’t hold back, his arms scooping me up and placing me into his lap. His hands roam freely up my dress, his thumb teasing at the lining of my panties.

“For what it’s worth, this is the best date ever,” I mumble between our kiss.

“Agreed,” he says, taking my lower lip between his teeth.

A thought has me pulling away. “But what about you? What about your adventure? This shouldn’t just only be about me. It’s important you cross some things off your bucket list too.”

His smile. Ferocious. “I am. Always had a thing for Dorothy. But in mine, she’s wearing nothing but those ruby red slippers.” Then, he captures my mouth just as he officially does my heart.