Whack!
Rimon drove the axe deep into the wood, pulled it out, drove it home again—angrily working out his frustrations and anxiety by cutting firewood. There was already enough piled to last a week; still he worked steadily, holding back from augmenting. That would have felt good and made the work go faster—but he didn't want to finish the mindless task and have to face reality… his growing need.
They'd come here three weeks ago with such high hopes —two Simes and two Gens ready to start a new way of life. Del had chosen carefully, a boy from town who knew Del, Rimon, and Kadi, who could understand the chance they offered him. At first it seemed they could conquer anything—even the panic that shattered the boy's nager when Del picked him out of the Pen.
"I'm not going to kill you!" Del was saying—angrily, because the boy's fear was such an irritation to him—when he led him up to the wagon where Rimon and Kadi waited.
Kadi slid off the wagon seat and placed herself between the boy and the two Simes. "Don't be frightened," she said. "Nobody's going to hurt you."
"They're gonna kill me!"
"No. Look at me… Billy, isn't it?"
The boy nodded.
Kadi held out her arms. "Look—I'm Gen, like you. I'm not frightened, Billy, because Rimon and I have found out that Simes don't have to kill to take selyn from Gens."
Wide-eyed, the boy shrank back, shaking his head with his gaze riveted on Kadi. "No—no, they kill—they'll kill you no matter what you say or do."
"Rimon took selyn from me," said Kadi, softly, convincingly. "I'm just fine, see?"
In one long, tense moment, the boy's fight against hope became almost unbearable, and all Rimon could think was, Kadi, do something—do the right thing—now!
Impulsively, Kadi put one sheltering arm around the child's shoulder. Her calm nager dissipated the stifling scream of the boy's nerves, and the two Simes drew a deep Breath. Rimon said, "We mean you no harm, Billy. Listen to what Kadi is saying—try to understand."
The boy didn't have much choice. Del owned him now. But as Rimon drove the wagon, talking softly to Del, the two Gens in the back also talked. By the time they made camp that night, Billy was not shrinking from the Simes, and his nager flared only if one of them made a sudden move.
It wasn't until the following day that Billy spoke to either Rimon or Del voluntarily, and he continued to stick close to Kadi. Finally, though, he began to relax and forget his fears for longer and longer periods.
As Billy relaxed, so did Del. By the time they arrived at the land Rimon planned to claim, he had come to accept Billy at his side, as Kadi stayed at Rimon's. When they unhitched the wagon, however, Del tended to Lightning and then left Kadi and Billy to tend to the draft horses.
As he came up beside Rimon, and began to help unload, he said, "Shuven! I'd forgotten all about my need!" He ran his fingers up and down his forearms to ease the sudden cramping there, the sick flutter in the pit of his stomach communicating forcefully to Rimon.
"Easy," muttered Rimon, breathing deeply, mustering his will as if to combat his own need.
After a moment, Del began heaving sacks with Rimon, saying, "What you said—it's true, Rimon. When Billy's around, I feel—pre-turnover. The first couple of days, when he was jumping at everything, it went through me like a shock, but now…"
"I know. He's learning. We're all learning, Del. It's going to take lots of time—but we're really onto something."
"I can see that—now. I had my doubts, but—Rimon, now I'm getting attached to the kid. What if—?"
"No 'what ifs,'" Rimon said firmly, trying to will confidence into his friend. "You've never had all my crazy problems. It should be a lot easier for you, as long as Billy's not afraid."
"Yeah…" Del said uncertainly. Then, "Hey! What are you doing?"
"Huh?"
"Did you learn that from Kadi? Your field, Rimon:—it's as if you're trying to calm me down the way she does. You don't have her—what can you call it? texture? Shen, there aren't any words for these things."
Rimon became aware of what he was doing. Yes, it was a poor imitation of Kadi's technique. He laughed. "It's incredible, Del—what we can learn from Gens!"
"Wherever you learned it, it sure is better than those mad fluctuations you used to have."
"Yeah. Well, I haven't hit turnover yet, but I'll bet that won't happen anymore."
It didn't. In fact, Rimon was hardly aware of his turnover; he simply found himself on the decline into need a few days later, when Kadi took Billy off for one last briefing before he and Del made their attempt at transfer. Should have noticed, Rimon thought. My sex drive disappeared. But he and Kadi had had no privacy since Del and Billy had joined them, so he'd only been relieved of an unfulfillable desire and had scarcely missed it. By next month, Rimon promised himself, we'll have a cabin built. They had spent their time so far clearing one field and getting their first crop in, working side by side, the Simes doing the heavy work, the Gens driving the horses, planting the seeds, and otherwise contributing their share.
Now came the moment of truth. For the past two days, the same question had come over and over from both Del and Billy. "Just what am I supposed to do?"
Del repeated it again to Rimon as they waited for the Gens. Although Del's nervousness was grating on his growing need, Rimon tried to retain his calm. "You do what feels right," he said. "Del, it's really more up to Billy than to you. As long as he's not scared, it'll work."
"I really like Billy," said Del. "Not just because he can make me feel good, but he's a good kid, you know? Smart.
–shendi, Rimon, I never got to know a Gen as a person before. Billy and Kadi are—real to me. I don't want them hurt."
"They won't be."
"I don't know. I'm so scared, I don't know how Billy can help it."
"Fortunately, he can't feel your fear, so all you have to do is put on a good act."
"I'll be able to feel his."
"I know. I wish I could tell you more, Del—but it couldn't have been worse between Kadi and me, and it worked for us. You're conscious, and Billy knows that it can work. Kadi didn't have that knowledge. She expected to die."
"She also loves you. Billy hardly knows any of us. He's trying hard, and I've been trying hard but…"
"He'll trust you after today, Del. Here they come. Let's do it—and then we'll have something to celebrate!"
It would be as much a first as Rimon and Kadi's first transfer. As Del and Billy faced one another, Rimon and Kadi stood on either side of them. Rimon could feel Kadi trying to calm them, and he tried to reinforce her efforts with his own.
Del summoned a shaky smile as he held out his hands to Billy, tentacles tightly retracted. "Come on, Billy," he said, the confidence in his voice at sad variance with the trepidation in his nager. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm asking for your help—only asking…"
"I know," Billy said, a palpable lie, although a genuine hope. He lifted trembling hands, placing them on Del's forearms as the Sime held himself completely still. Rimon marveled at the boy's courage, praying that it would hold long enough to complete the transfer.
When Billy's hands were gripping him firmly, Del allowed his handling tentacles to extend… and finally his laterals, relief flooding him as he released the terrible tension it had taken to keep them retracted in the presence of Billy's field. That relief counteracted the momentary shock Billy felt as the hot, wet laterals licked his skin. Rimon clearly felt both of them grasp emotional control. They're going to be able to do it!
Time hung suspended. Then Del said, "Billy—"
The boy nodded firmly. "Do it!"
Del pulled him forward, their lips pressed firmly together, and Rimon rose into hyperconsciousness, living Del's experience as if it were his own. The flow began, Del's draw riding on a wave of Billy's anxiety—but there was no pain, none of the searing, raw burn of killdraw. But Billy's faint trepidation fed Del's natural desire for killbliss—Rimon perceived Del's demand increase the speed of his draw, seeking that unique satisfaction provided only by Gen fear.
Slow down' Rimon willed, but his field was nothing to Del now against Billy's increasing agitation. The boy began to resist—and felt pain. Fear blossomed through his nager, adding fuel to the fire of Del's killbliss. All control gone, Del drew against Billy's pain and fear, pure animal instinct driving him to the ecstatic peak of satisfaction as Rimon reached out to tear them apart—
Too late.
Only at the moment of total depletion—of death—was Rimon able to wrench Del's hands and tentacles from Billy's arms. There was only a brief shock of shen, for Del had reached repletion, and Rimon had interrupted only the natural termination.
Simultaneously, Kadi understood what had happened. Her revulsion pierced the two Simes, and Del turned on her. Even as he was reaching toward her, however, post-kill transients plunged him into hypoconsciousness, and her field ceased to affect him.
He stared at her, seeing her as Kadi. Then his eyes turned to Rimon, sharing haunted anguish. Together they focused on the slight, crumpled form on the ground. Del went to his knees next to Billy's body, making half-articulate sounds, remorse so thick around him Rimon could almost taste it.
And then Del was crying. Kadi's revulsion melted to compassion, releasing Rimon's tears as well. Del touched the pitiful body, so full of life a few moments before. "I couldn't stop!" he said. He closed his eyes, able now to shut out the sight as Rimon could not—but he couldn't shut his mind to it. "Rimon, I didn't want to stop. I couldn't even think about stopping!"
"I zlinned what happened," said Rimon, his voice a tight whisper. "You did it right at first, Del. That's what you've got to learn to maintain—"
Del turned on him in fury. "You think I'm going through that again? Make a friend and kill him? What do you think I am?"
"You don't want to kill," protested Rimon.
"I didn't want to kill Billy. But I want to kill, Rimon. I'm Sime—and so are you. You'd better take Kadi to the border, or you'll kill her, too. Why did I ever listen to you? You couldn't tell me what to do, because there's nothing to be done! Last month was a fluke—you were unconscious. What are you going to do—have Kadi knock you out every time? You're going to kill her, Rimon, and I'm not going to stay and watch!"
Rimon knew that guilt and sorrow prompted Del's harsh words. Nonetheless, they preyed on him as his need deepened day by day. Over and over, Del's words came back, I want to kill. I'm Sime, and so are you.
Was Del right? Could Rimon keep from killing Kadi, or would the killbliss take him helplessly once again? He picked up the split wood and piled it with the rest—and saw immense irony in that great stack of firewood. Who was going to use it?
The test had to come soon. In another day, Rimon's need would be beyond even the control his peculiar history had given him. Beyond Kadi's control? He was afraid to find out.
He had deliberately left Kadi at their campsite today, sewing a jumpsuit for herself out of the blue material. Her few clothes were in tatters after their adventures and hard work.
His fathers concern, Rimon realized, had also affected him. Was Kadi controlling him? He'd come away from her to try to think straight… and discovered that he was just as confused—even more so. No, he was sure it was not a false perception. Kadi only let him be himself.
She was waiting for him, wearing her new outfit, her bright red hair tied back with a strip of the blue fabric.
He sensed she was preparing herself for him, fresh and clean and new.
Stalling for time, he laid the armload of wood he'd brought back beside the small fire Kadi had started, saying, "Why don't you make us some tea, Kadi, while I clean up?"
She agreed easily, her nager soothing him as he washed up and came to sit beside her, accepting the tea. After they had taken a few sips, though, she said, "We ought to do it now, Rimon."
"Do it?"
"Have… transfer. I know you can drive yourself another couple of days, but you don't have to do that anymore. You're not avoiding a kill now."
"Kadi—"
"I want it, Rimon. I can't—can't stand to see you in need like this. It—hurts. I can't explain it—it just does."
Rimon met her eyes over his trail cup, aware of the swirling interlocked fields that made up her nager. It was almost as if he could see into the very center of her being, and he was falling, falling into eternity.
"Rimon?"
"Hmmm," said Rimon, blinking his way forcibly duo-conscious.
"I said I want to give you my selyn, and then—I want to make love to you. It will be… a consecration of our new home."
He shook his head, not in negation, but bewilderment. "I wonder if all Gens are as—strange to understand as you."
Kadi cocked her head to one side, also bewildered. "It seems quite plain to me. The place of life and love is the place of home__no?"
Rimon put his cup on a hearthstone and watched it steam. "Right now, love is just a word. I remember it was nice—worth dying for, even—but I can't feel it. I'm too busy—dying—myself to feel anything else. Except fear. Kadi, what if I—what if I can't? What if I hurt you?"
"You won't. I'm not going to let you."
With a forced quirk of a smile, Rimon said, "What are you going to do, take a stick of wood and knock me out?"
Kadi laughed. "No." But there was an undercurrent of anxiety beneath it, increasing Rimon's own anxiety. That faint fear in Kadi's nager, which she was trying so hard to control, reminded him only too much of Billy's nager when he'd begun transfer with Del. Rimon knew exactly what had happened there: the slight anxiety had triggered killdraw against resistance; Billy had felt pain, causing fear; and his fear had driven Del to the kill.
If only I could control my rate of draw, Rimon thought. He sighed, and got up, walking to the edge of the space they had cleared, where their house would be. If we ever have reason to build a house.
Looking up the rocky hillside, he could see the mound of earth over Billy's grave, still a scar on the face of their new home. In his mind's eye, he saw a second grave yawning open, and shuddered with the effort of thrusting the thought aside.
Kadi came up beside him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Rimon—look—maybe Del failed because it only works between male and female? We don't know. We don't know what makes it work, but we do know that, for us, it does work. Isn't that where every new advance starts? First somebody finds out how to do it. Then somebody makes a fancy theory out of it First thing you know, everybody takes it for granted. Well, we're just starting. We don't have a theory. We don't have to. We just do it."
Edging toward hyperconsciousness, Rimon zlinned her. Her control of her emotional nager was close to perfect again. Still, that small nagging fear was there beneath her desire.
Desire?
She was reflecting his need somehow, absorbing it, amplifying it, and playing it back to him in a new form of intense but painless desire. Her hands closed gently around his wrists, barely touching, sending waves of pleasure through his nerves. Slowly she slid her hands up his arms as he stood helplessly, knowing himself in her control and not caring. He didn't care about anything except what Kadi was doing to him. ;
Her anxiety lessened as she settled her hands over his transport nerves. She was in command. Confidence rose in him… Kadi's confidence. His tentacles lashed about her arms of their own accord, his laterals drinking in the pure joy of her field. It was Kadi who made the lip contact, Kadi who began to pour selyn into Rimon. In pleasant surprise, he accepted… but it was tantalizingly slow. Against his will, need and pure instinct drove him to draw that selyn faster and faster to feed his depleted nerves.
Kadi started in surprise, on the edge of fear as Rimon's draw increased. Reflexively, she resisted and felt pain, just as Billy had. No! Rimon reached into himself and shut off the voracious demand, his whole body screaming against his will. And suddenly, Kadi relaxed, all resistance gone as once more she began to push selyn at him, a little faster this time.
And then there was no more pain, only soaring bliss for both of them, the same intense joy they had shared a month ago… no—this time it was better! Conscious, Rimon could feel every sweet thrum of pleasure, the stark terrors of need melting away to be replaced by—desire.
Even before the last trickle of selyn ceased, Rimon found his mouth softening upon Kadi's to a demanding kiss. Her lips yielded, and as the flow terminated with their fields in perfect harmony, a desire almost as strong as need sang through both of them, resonating and overpowering.
Rimon reached for the ties that held Kadi's jumpsuit at her shoulders. When those and her belt were untied, the garment slithered to the ground. He didn't want to stop touching her long enough to shrug out of his own clothes, but Kadi was helping him, and then they were in each other's arms.
They made love eagerly, hungrily, driven by a mutual yearning, Rimon delirious from the sheer tactile sensations that faded so during need, and Kadi awakened after long abstinence. It was better than the first time—an improvement on perfection, Rimon thought, as he became enough aware to think again. His head was pillowed on Kadi's breast. Too languidly content to sit up, he slid into a position beside her from which he could look at her face. It felt so good just to look.
She turned to him, smiling. "I told you we could do it again."
Smiling crookedly, he said, "Are you always going to say, 'I told you so'?"
"Only when it suits the occasion. You're glowing again."
"I didn't know I could feel better than the first time. But I do."
"Me, too. Maybe it'll just keep getting better."
"If it does, next time it'll blow out my whole system"– or yours. "Kadi—I hurt you. I know I did."
"Only for a moment. You just startled me, and—I think I resisted you, and it hurt. It makes sense that that's a Gen reflex, doesn't it—to try to prevent a Sime from draining away all his selyn?"
"Yes," he said. "Now that I've been fully conscious through a transfer, I know that's it. You can overcome that reflex, Kadi—but how are we going to teach other Gens to do it?"
"It wasn't just me! Rimon, you did something, and it stopped hurting long enough so I remembered how desperate you felt, and then suddenly I could feel it myself– a—need to give…"
That sounded like a child's bad grammar—need to give indeed! But he remembered, "I think I did slow my draw for just a moment. I couldn't hold it though."
She put a hand on the middle of his chest, and he felt a little tingling tremor there. Suddenly there were pale ghosts of nager around things, and he was duoconscious, tingling pleasantly all over as she said, "Maybe next time you'll be able to hold it a little longer. We'll have to teach the Simes to go slower and the Gens not to resist."
"But how—V
"I think we should wait a while," said Kadi. "If we build our house and get all our land cleared, and just live together, people are going to notice. Then, maybe if we show them how we do it—"
"Oh, no!" he groaned, nuzzling her hair and luxuriating in the feel of it. "Somehow I can't see us doing this in public. I'm certainly in no mood to give a lecture!"
Kadi had become intensely desirable again. The sun glinted on her bright hair, her blue eyes danced an invitation, she smelled deliciously sweet, and as he began to caress her once more, the very feel of her sent sparks of joy charging down his spine, wiping away the invisible scars Of a lifetime.
He was aware that he'd lost duoconsciousness again, but his other senses were enough to take him to the limits of ecstasy. The future would have to take care of itself. At this moment, he had Kadi, and that was enough for any man.
Gradually Rimon became aware that the thundering in his ears wasn't just his racing pulse. "Horses I Kadi, wake up!"
It was close to sundown. They scrambled to their feet, stepping hastily into their garments as they turned to face a group of five riders approaching from the east. Rimon was relieved to make out five Simes. It wasn't a Gen raiding party.
The three men and two women reined in too close to where Rimon and Kadi stood, and then, without even reading the fields, Rimon knew they were being hazed.
The shortest of the three men asked, "Mind saying what you're doing here?"
"Does this land belong to you?" asked Rimon, feeling naked in such an exchange for the first time in his life. How can you tell what they mean if you can't zlin? No wonder Gens are so scared all the time.
"Don't belong to nobody," said one of the women. "What we asked is what you're doing here."
"Building a house."
The five of them burst out laughing. It was an ugly sound, but Rimon hadn't judged laughter by sound in so long, he had no idea what they meant. He put a protective arm about Kadi's waist, willing her not to be frightened.
"They're building a house, Risko, did you hear that? Farming, now I can understand that if you've a passel of Gens to feed till you can get 'em to market. But—"
"Quiet, Flieg." One of the women edged out the man's horse and confronted Rimon. "You get a good crop to sell, you come into town and see me. I run the holding Pen in these parts, do a little breedin' on the side. You got any Gens, you sell 'em to me. You got any grain, you sell to me to slop my Gens. I give a fair price. But I don't want no competition. Understood?"
She gave Kadi a penetrating look. "What happened to that one?"
"Nothing," said Rimon, grabbing innocence around him like a cloak. He wasn't sure who or what he was dealing with, but he knew that they had no chance against these Simes. This far from any real civilization, there was no law but the whip, and each of these under-fed but strong Simes was well armed. He even saw a dagger at the waist of one of the women, and shuddered. No self-respecting Sime would carry one of those.
"Well," said the lead woman, "if she doesn't recover, come see me. If I'm in a good mood, I may extend you credit. If not—well, I can always use workers."
The Simes whirled their horses and rode on into the west. Kadi turned into Rimon's arms, shaking but not crying. Somehow that made Rimon wonder all the more urgently if they'd chosen their neighbors,wisely.
"Rimon. Wake up, Rimon," Kadi said, poking him.
Rimon stirred and pulled her into his arms. She pushed away, saying, "Wake up! Someone's coming.' Can't you hear it?"
"Yeah," he said, immediately alert as he recognized the sound of hoofbeats, but even as he was reaching for his clothes, the rider came around the bend, and they saw that it was Del Erick. Rimon sank back under the blanket with Kadi.
Del pulled Lightning to a halt, jumped down, strode to the edge of their makeshift bed, and stared down at them. "You did it again," he said flatly.
"Yes—of course… but Del—" Rimon broke off in mid-sentence, propping himself up on one elbow to peer at his friend. Del had said he could never come back. Yet here he was.
Del followed the thought. "I—ah—I got to thinking about you and Kadi out here alone like this. What if– what if you'd—Kadi—I mean it wasn't like with Billy. You've loved Kadi all your life!"
Rimon put an arm around Kadi. "And I'll love her all the rest of my life, Del." There was an awkward silence until Rimon said, "Anyway, welcome back."
"Look, I—ah—I'm sorry I left like that. What happened wasn't your fault. I'd have come back sooner, only I found a town down the road, with a saloon and I got drunk on porstan. I don't remember much about the last three days, until I woke up this morning."
"You really thought we couldn't do it again?" asked Rimon.
"I'm glad I was wrong!" Del said. "And now you can throw me off your land if you want to!"
Kadi said, "Of course we're not going to throw you out, Del. We're glad you came back. Look, want some breakfast? We're starved—I am, anyway."
"And," said Rimon, "when Kadi's hungry, everybody's hungry!"
"Oh, I couldn't eat—" Del started, then reconsidered, looking at Kadi. "On second thought—" They laughed together, and then Del said thoughtfully, "I haven't eaten since—since before—" He broke off, and nobody wanted to finish the sentence as his eye strayed toward Billy's grave.
Kadi said, "Rimon, where's my jumpsuit? You're letting all the cold under the blankets!"
As she dressed, Del frowned at Rimon, zlinning him closely. "What's wrong, Rimon?"
"Huh? Nothing's wrong. Things have never been righter!"
"Your fields—there's something—Rimon, you're still hypo!"
Rimon shrugged. "I can't zlin right now, but it comes back in a day or so."
"I never heard of such a thing!"
"Neither did I," said Rimon. "Del, we're the first, Kadi and I. And you—"
"No! Oh no, Rimon, I'm never going through that again!"
"But… you came back."
"To help you if you were in trouble. Since you're not, I can at least give you the rest of the money I owe you."
"Money? Where did you get—?"
"I don't remember it all too clearly, but sometime in the last couple of days there was a race. I rode Lightning, and I won. I must have—I ended up with more money this morning than I had before I arrived in town!"
"I didn't know anyone could get that drunk on porstan!"
"Oh, I remember someone playing shiltpron, too… I think. Anyhow, I managed to blot out some. time. There are parts I wish I could remember, though. At some point, I saw some wild horses in the hills, and that gave me an idea. I think I can capture some mares and start a herd."
"You're not going home?" asked Rimon.
"No—your dad knew I always planned on getting my own place."
"Won't you stay with us, Del?" asked Kadi. "At least for a while?"
His warm brown eyes looked into hers. "I can't, Kadi. I can't live like you and Rimon, so I can't live with you. But there's more land around here, good land for breeding horses. I'm going to claim some of it and in a few years I'll have the best herd in the Territory!"
"We can at least be neighbors, then," she said.
"Friends," asserted Del with a smile.
They shared breakfast and made plans.
A few days later, Rimon and Kadi went with Del to help capture some of the horses he'd found; then Del helped them plant Kadi's kitchen garden. The soil was rich, a pleasure to work with. Why had no Simes settled here, even if it was near the border? Certainly such fertile land was worth the effort of defending it.
Perhaps, though, it was simply that no Simes interested in settling down had come this far before. The riders who had stopped to laugh at Rimon and Kadi had scoffed at the idea of farming—and Del had described the nearby town as hardly more than a few huts thrown up as saloons and gambling places to milk the money from the Simes who hunted Gens across the border.
They saw the town for themselves a few days later, when they went with Del to pick out the land he wished to claim. Kadi shuddered as they passed the Pens on' the outskirts, where dispirited Gens watched them pass, not even curiosity showing in their eyes. The town was a shabby place indeed, a block-long street of mud bordered with ramshackle buildings. There was a general store, stocked only with goods one might require on the trail, all grossly overpriced. Loud voices and music coming from some of the other buildings told where they might encounter trouble.
In the store, the two men flanked Kadi as she chose a few supplies. Noticing the outrageous price of trin tea– not even a good brand—Rimon hoped that the annual variety Kadi had just planted would produce well enough to see them through the coming winter.
The proprietor zlinned Kadi as she looked about. Finally Kadi turned and looked the scrawny, unkempt Sime woman up and down, then glanced at Rimon and Del on either side of her, both strong and sleek, with glowing skin and hair, the product of Farris' regimen. Rimon caught Kadi's warm, protective pride—but so did the Sime woman. "Take that Gen bitch outside," she said. You got no right bringin' it in here."
Rimon bristled. "I can take her anywhere. She's my—"
"She's his property," interrupted Del, "and he can do what he wants with her. You know the law."
"Law!" She laughed. _"No law out here but what we make for ourselves. I know what you are—couple of fine, high-minded lawbreakers yourselves, takin' little sister to the border! Got no tags for her, do you, boys?"
"As a matter of fact," said Rimon, "I have." He pulled Kadi's tags and papers from his pocket. "Not that it's any of your business, but in case you were thinking of sending the sheriff chasing after us, don't bother."
"Sheriff? Got no sheriff here, an' don't want none. You goody-goodies better keep on goin', 'fore someone takes that pampered Gen away from you."
Rimon wanted to lash out, but Kadi's discomfort faded as she looked at him… and suddenly the whole scene was vastly amusing. His anger evaporated. "No one would want this Gen," he said. "She doesn't know how to be scared."
The Sime woman broke into helpless laughter. "Oh, that's a good one!" she gasped. "A Gen that doesn't know how to be scared!" Rimon felt Kadi's amusement go from forced to real—and realized she was using her own emotions to affect the Simes. The atmosphere in the store remained one of high good humor as Rimon paid for their purchases, the Sime woman wiping tears of laughter from her cheeks as she took his money, still muttering, "Oh, that's a good one!"
They left, got on their horses, and rode to the edge of town before Rimon reached over and took Kadi's hand. He was laughing now from his own genuine relief. "Kadidid, that was beautiful!"
"I can't believe it," said Del. "I saw it, and I can't believe it! Kadi, you're safe from Sime attack. You can make an attacker laugh himself to death!"
"It's more than that, Del," said Rimon. "Kadi protected us! We could have ended up in one shendi-fleckin' fight back there if she hadn't turned the whole thing into a joke. But Kadi," he continued, "be careful. That woman was pre-turnover. I'm not sure what would have happened if she'd been in need."
"Or if she'd reacted like your father," said Kadi. "Don't worry, Rimon. I'm not going to take any foolish risks."
As they left town, they splashed through a small creek, following a well-worn trail across the ford, and came to another small settlement. "What's this?" asked Kadi. "Del, you didn't say there were two towns."
"I wasn't over here," he said. "I remember now, though—somebody said some out-Territory Simes had settled here."
There were a number of homes clustered together behind a stockade. Although the gate was open, the place did not appear inviting to strangers. Rimon and Kadi peered in as they rode past, seeing neat houses with gardens, and children playing in the central green. Around the community lay carefully tended fields, a few Simes working in them.
Feeling a wistful envy in Kadi, Rimon said, "If they're from out-Territory, they grew up with Gens, expecting to be Gens. It makes sense that they'd want to learn not to kill Gens."
"You'd better wait until you know how you do it, Rimon," said Del.
"I think—Well, I guess we don't have the answer for sure, yet," Rimon admitted. "But I am going to find out exactly how Kadi and I do it!"
They did it again at the end of the, month, easily this time, with the same deliciously inevitable transition from transfer to lovemaking. This time they did it indoors, in their own house, in their own bed—the one piece of furniture Rimon had gotten built so far. Resting contentedly, aglow with the joy of their double celebration of life, Rimon looked around at the home they'd built, with Del's help. It was a small cabin, just one room, but well made and weatherproof. A barrel Del had brought from town served as table and lamp-stand. Since there was as yet no storage space, most of their belongings were stored in the root cellar, as Kadi preferred to speak of the hole in the side of the hill. They had built their cabin flush against the hill, using the hill as one wall of the cabin.
Del and Rimon had dug the root cellar as a hiding place for Kadi. The packed dirt walls were insulation enough of her selyn field, and they had spent several days working with the doors, shooing her in and out, zlinning, adding insulation until she could hide there if necessary, safe from detection. Then they camouflaged the doors; once they were pulled shut from inside, they appeared to be a part of the natural hillside.
Some hours after their transfer, Kadi finally fell asleep, and Rimon soon joined her. When he couldn't zlin for a day or two after their transfers, he seemed to sleep undisturbed by the world of shifting selyn fields he was accustomed to, unaffected by the physical stimuli that were of secondary importance to a Sime.
"Rimon! Rimon, wake up! Someone's coming!"
He was awake instantly—nothing wrong with that Sime faculty—to find Kadi dressed. Pulling on his clothes, he found he could still not zlin, but he could hear Wolfs barking in the distance turning from curious to challenging to angry, charged with growls and snarls as he came back toward the cabin. His retreat was accompanied by the sound of a large number of horses, riding hard from the border.
Kadi edged up to the side of the window and peeked out the crack between the curtains. Ten or twelve Wild Gens galloped into view, Wolf trying unsuccessfully to drive them off. Kadi asked, "What do we do?"
"Stay low. They can't zlin us. Pretend there's no one home." Rimon whispered.
The Gens were all carrying guns. Rimon watched anxiously as they looked around, shouting to one another. The only word he could make out was "Sime."
Then, suddenly, all the guns were pointed at the cabin. Rimon thrust Kadi to the floor, falling on her as bullets raked through their house, making the curtains wave as if blown by a brisk wind. All went over their heads. Wolfs growling became a roar—punctuated by a sharp yelp, a howl of pain… and silence.
"Wolf!" cried Kadi. "They've shot him!"
"There's nothing we can do," Rimon said grimly, holding her down. "They'll shoot us if they figure out where we are'"
The rain of bullets continued for a few moments more, then stuttered to a halt. There was more shouting, followed by footsteps cautiously approaching the door. It was barred, and in the noise of the Gens shaking it, Rimon and Kadi scuttled into the root cellar and pulled the door shut behind them. They had insulated the door so well that they could barely hear what was going on outside—except the slam of their front door being battered down.
"The worst they can do is steal what's out there," Rimon murmured.
"Almost everything is in here," Kadi replied in the dark.
"Everything that matters," said Rimon, holding her close. His breathing became irregular as they waited. The palms of his hands were damp on Kadi's arms, and he found himself trembling. I've forgotten what it's like to be in the dark and scared.
Presently, when it grew quiet, she said, "I think they've gone."
"No, we'd have heard or felt the hoofbeats."
"What's that?" asked Kadi, alarmed at a muffled roar outside.
Rimon pushed the door open a crack, and then slammed it shut again as smoke and a blast of scorching heat poured .through.
Kadi cried, "They're burning our house!" Smoke poured through their small ventilation slits. "Rimon, will the door burn through?"
"No—it's mostly mortared rock, remember?"
Kadi began to cough. Rimon pulled off his shirt and put it over their faces. "Get down on the floor," he said. "The smoke will rise."
But he, too, was seized by a fit of coughing and choking as they fell to the floor, clinging to one another, eyes smarting, each breath a fresh torture to their throats and lungs.
Kadi clung to Rimon, but he could do nothing but hold her. Is this why I brought her here, learned not to kill her, just to have her die of suffocation? He felt her go limp, unconscious. So much for the grand scheme to make friends with the Wild Gens. So much for all my grandiose schemes to change the world—when I can't even protect the woman I love.