10

Chase was beginning to wonder if Vivien Brooks had suffered much more than a heatstroke.

Perhaps the helmet had cracked her skull when she passed out because she seemed to be out of her mind lately.

Inviting him into her room, waiting for him after field exercises, asking how he felt about punishment. He was a strong man, capable of resisting a great deal of temptation, but she was poking a horny-as-hell bear and the bear was damn near ready to poke back.

As soon as he reached his small office, he saw her standing next to his desk holding a manila envelope.

“Private Brooks,” he greeted her, locking his door behind him because who the hell knew what was about to go down between them. Certainly not him. “How can I help you?”

Oh, there were so many ways he’d like to help her.

She handed him the envelope immediately. “First, you can sign off on my paperwork. Beyond that, I think we should wait to discuss it until after you’ve signed.”

Chase frowned in confusion but he took the papers out of the thin packet.

Bold black words screamed at him from the page.

REQUEST FOR UNIT TRANSFER.

Was she serious? She’d filled out her portion of the form and helpfully highlighted the line where his signature was needed, so perhaps she was.

“Is this a joke of some sort?”

He attempted to hand her the forms back, but she shook her head.

“No joke.” She inhaled deeply. “I’m claustrophobic, Corporal. It’s why I needed to be on top in the back of your truck. It’s also why I never take the elevator in my building. And why I can’t handle wearing the bomb suit—which we both know is a vital requirement to becoming an EOD Specialist.”

Her words came out in a rush but each one hit him like a solid blow to the chest. Chase felt like a jackass for not catching on sooner. He’d been so busy reeling from the shock of being her CO, he’d missed the obvious signs.

He lowered the papers onto his desk. “Did you know you were claustrophobic when you enlisted?”

Vivien nodded. “I did. I’ve been this way since I was a kid. I just thought . . . I don’t know. I guess I thought I could overcome it.”

Chase stared intently at her. She was the most promising student he’d ever seen. “And now you don’t think you can?”

She leveled him with her stare. “Now who’s the one joking around? You saw me. I passed out cold.”

Chase nodded. “I did. But those suits weren’t fully equipped with the cooling systems the newer ones have. It was damn near one hundred degrees yesterday. Even the doctor said the heat was a factor in—”

“Chase,” she interrupted abruptly. “Sorry. I mean Corporal. Please. Don’t make excuses for me. It wasn’t the heat. It was me. I couldn’t fight off the dizzying effects of my claustrophobia. I tried. I failed. It’s time to move on.”

“Bullshit,” Chase bit out, through with the formalities now that she’d called him by his first name. There was no one else around. No more need for the circus act.

“Excuse me?”

He took a step closer to where she stood. “I said, bullshit. Because that’s all this is.” He gestured to the papers on his desk. “You’re good at this. Hell, you intimidate me and I’ve been doing it for years.”

“And during those years, I bet you wore that suit in the middle of the damn desert without flinching.”

Chase shook his head. “You’re wrong. Yeah, I wore it, but I threw up the minute they got me out of it the first time.” He took another step closer to her. “There’s no shame in being human, Viv.”

Her eyes softened when he called her Viv. “What if I can’t do it? What if people get hurt or die because I can’t hack it?”

“What if you can?” he challenged. “What if we work on techniques to help you overcome your issue? Think of how many lives you could save.”

Vivien raised a skeptical eyebrow at him. “Why are you pushing this?”

Chase took a long hard look at the reason behind his refusal to let her transfer. Yes, he enjoyed seeing her, being close to her, and being her CO. And yeah, he wanted to make love to her until she couldn’t walk. But there was more to it than that.

Sucking in a lungful of oxygen and all of his courage, he told her the truth.

“When I was eight, my dad and his buddies took me on one of their fishing trips to the lake.” He closed his eyes, remembering how stupid he’d been to believe his dad actually wanted him to go. Later he’d learned that a babysitter had backed out at the last minute. “I was excited. He didn’t often include me in anything.”

He opened his eyes to see Vivien’s locked on him.

“They were drinking, driving the boat recklessly. Not really paying attention to me at all. By the time the sun set, I was tired, sunburnt, and starving. They were all too busy drinking to notice. At one point, whoever was driving turned the boat too hard and I fell into the water.”

She opened her mouth but he answered her question before she could ask it.

“No, I wasn’t wearing a life jacket. There weren’t any my size on the boat and honestly, my dad probably wouldn’t have bothered even if there were.”

Chase felt his pulse amp up and a surge of anger that his father still got to him rose to the surface.

“He wouldn’t even put a hand out to help me back in the boat. He laughed. Told me to man up and swim. I’d wanted to come out with the big boys so I needed to act like one.”

He turned away so he wouldn’t have to see the pity on her face. Straightening some random papers on his desk that didn’t need it, he wrapped up quickly. “Anyway, it was a good distance and I was small for my age. By the time I was able to get myself onto the boat I was ready to pass out or die. But I didn’t. And it took me ten years to get over my fear of the water. But I enlisted, learned to swim, and got over it and on with my life. Just like you will.”

Vivien moved to where he stood. He flinched as her hand grazed his face.

“Your dad sounds like a grade-A bastard. I’m sorry,” she said quietly.

Chase closed his eyes and allowed himself to bask in the sensation of her touch for just a moment.

“He is,” he confirmed, stepping out of her reach. “But I don’t let that determine what I can and cannot do. So wherever your fear of enclosed spaces comes from, we can work on it. I’ll help you. One hour every day after class we can meet and you can wear the suit for small periods of time until you get a handle on it.”

Vivien bit her lip. “I don’t know. I mean, what if I can’t? What if I pass out every single time?”

Chase looked away from her mouth before he gave in to the rush of impulses flooding his brain. “We’ll go slow. If you pass out, I’ll be there. I’ll bring smelling salts.”

She gifted him a glimpse of her gorgeous grin. “You’d do that for me?”

He shrugged. “I’m your CO. It’s my job.”

She nodded but there was reluctance in her posture. “Okay,” she said slowly. “I just don’t want to waste your time.”

Chase frowned. “No matter the outcome, I can guarantee I won’t consider anything we do together a waste of time.”

Vivien held his intense stare, and he suspected she was trying to determine if there was more beneath his words than what he was saying. There was. There always was subtext when she was involved. “It’s worth a try, I suppose.”

“So what else did you want to discuss?” Chase asked, recalling that she’d said “first” when their conversation began and mentioned waiting until he’d signed her request before discussing anything further.

An impish grin snuck across her face and she shook her head. “Nothing, I guess. Not if you’re still going to be my CO after today.”

Hunger churned low in Chase’s stomach—hunger completely unrelated to the fact that it was past lunchtime.

“And if I wasn’t? If I’d signed off and let you go?”

Vivien stepped backward like Little Red Riding Hood retreating from the wolf. Smart girl.

“But you are and you didn’t. So I guess we won’t be having that conversation after all,” she said before walking out and leaving him alone yet again.

He wasn’t sure, but he suspected she was almost as disappointed about that as he was.