13
Eleven.
It was the number of text messages he’d typed out over the weekend. The same number he’d deleted before hitting SEND.
Everything he came up with ran along the lines of When can I see you again?
But Vivien hadn’t wanted morning cuddles or to make plans about the weekend or even anything beyond Friday night, it seemed. So maybe he was the only one wanting more.
Chase stared dispassionately at the lackluster egg and sausage breakfast sandwich sitting on his desk. He had evaluations to fill out today before class. Then he’d see her, smell her, have to be in her intoxicating presence while attempting to do his job.
Her evaluation was faceup on his desk and yet, he couldn’t find a single section that adequately described how amazing she was. She’d overcome her claustrophobia, handling her fears in a way that left him awestruck.
He could honestly check EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS in every category. It was the ones that weren’t listed that had him practically twitching in his seat.
Her mouth, her hands, every firm feminine curve that made up Vivien Brooks exceeded his expectations and then some.
He twirled his pencil in his fingers, remembering the way he’d wrapped her auburn hair in his hands when they’d lain together in her bed. She’d been even more beautiful the morning after their night of lovemaking, with her bright shining eyes that seemed lit from within her, the flush that spread across her cheeks as she took in his naked body getting out of her bed, and those swollen lips that parted to kiss him good-bye before he left.
The sounds she’d made while he was inside her played on an endless loop as he made his way through the evaluations.
The alarm on his phone sounded from the corner of his desk. And now he had to go to class and try to behave as if nothing had happened—just as she had done the first time around. It wouldn’t be fair to expect anything more from her, to jeopardize her training or her relationships with the members of her unit. Any special attention he paid her would do just that.
Chase stood and made his way into the classroom. She was already there with a few others. For the first time he looked beyond his own illicit desire for her and noticed another male bestowing attention in Vivien’s direction.
Private Devon Lawson was giving Vivien the kind of inviting grin men gave women they wanted to take home. Vivien was smiling back at him—a lighthearted lift of her luscious lips that had Chase seeing red. And green.
Anger and jealousy were a potent combination.
Chase tried to calm himself. Vivien didn’t belong to him. Lawson wasn’t a dirt bag—wasn’t the type to just try to get in a woman’s panties then toss her aside like yesterday’s garbage—at least not from what Chase had seen from him so far. The guy was a solid soldier, intelligent, reliable, and capable.
Capable of dating the one woman I can’t.
Chase’s fists clenched at his sides as he began class. It was a short lesson on the tactical disarming of roadside IEDs. The enemy had gotten smarter over the years and began planting clusters of explosives in places where not just first responders would be, but in the safe zones where the remaining vehicles in a convoy would detour after an initial blast. After the briefing, they’d head to the field and practice locating and disarming the clusters. He was practically counting the seconds until he could escape the confining classroom.
But even once they hit the field, his struggle to behave appropriately around Vivien continued.
Since he hadn’t assigned three-man teams, the groups reformed in the same ones from the previous exercise. Which left Vivien with Lawson. Chase did his best not to circle them like a pissed off predator. He focused on assisting other teams and keeping his distance.
When Vivien’s chiming laughter echoed across the field, he couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at the sight of her hand on Lawson’s arm, her head thrown back in a fit of laughter not unlike when she had been coming around his cock. Their bodies were close, too close. Would she hook up with Lawson next? Would he get to hear those sexy sounds she made? Get to see her eyes go wide with pleasure the way Chase had?
Not if he had anything to say about it.
Stalking toward them, Chase’s vision blurred around the edges.
“I didn’t realize IED clusters and blown up soldiers were so amusing,” he bit out once he reached them. “I take it your group has finished the exercise.”
Vivien sobered instantly and gaped at him.
Lawson stepped in front of her to take the brunt of Chase’s wrath. “Our apologies, Corporal, sir. We are finished with the defusal, sir.”
He wanted to put his fist through Lawson’s face and yet he knew he had absolutely no good reason to feel anger toward the man. This wasn’t acceptable behavior and he knew better. Wounded confusion flashed in Vivien’s eyes so clearly it made it hard to meet them with his own.
“Then you’re dismissed.” There. That should help. If she was out of his sight then he could focus. Could function without acting like a damn caveman.
“Yes, sir,” they both said before saluting and turning away from him.
“There’s that Italian deli a few miles off base. And that bar with the mechanical bull that everyone says has the best burgers,” he overheard Lawson telling Vivien as they began to walk away. “I’m good with whatever.”
Chase stilled. His back was to them as if he were surveying the remaining soldiers on the field. But he wasn’t. He was blind to everything and everyone around him. Deaf to all sounds except her voice as he waited for her answer.
“Um, burgers sound good,” Vivien replied hesitantly.
Chase could practically feel her gaze burning into his back. He did his best not to let his muscles tense. She was observant enough that he knew she’d notice.
She was obviously into Lawson if she’d agreed to have dinner with him, which was something she’d never done with Chase. And apparently she didn’t need help after class wearing the suit anymore. She was done with him for all intents and purposes. Eight more weeks and he wouldn’t even be her CO anymore. It stung, just enough that he knew she’d see that he was affected if she caught a glimpse of his face. So he did the only thing he could do.
He walked away.
***
Over an hour after the training exercise had ended, Chase sat with a migraine at his desk, rubbing his temples, determined to finish the unit evals and not think about how Vivien’s dinner with Lawson was going.
He hoped the fucker got food poisoning.
But having gone there with Aiden and Luke a few times, he knew Bud’s was a decent dive and the burgers were as good as everyone said. So she was probably having a great time. Knowing her, she might’ve even ridden the mechanical bull. His cock twitched and his mouth went instantly dry at the thought of her sexy body writhing on that bull. Hips thrusting, her full breasts on display as she rocked back and forth—it was an erotic image he thoroughly enjoyed.
Until he thought of Lawson watching her and a whole new type of unwelcome heat surged in his veins.
“Whatever you’re working on must be extremely upsetting,” a female voice called from his doorway. “Dinner break?”
Vivien extended a white foam take-out box like a peace offering.
Relief washed over him at the sight of her. Until he saw the short sapphire blue sundress barely covering her thighs. Had she worn that to dinner with Lawson? Was it a date?
“It’s a cowboy burger,” she informed him. “Beef, bacon, cheese, onion rings, barbecue sauce. Not sure why you’re glaring at it. I certainly didn’t peg you for a vegetarian.”
“I wasn’t aware you’d pegged me to begin with.”
A hint of smile lifted one side of her mouth. “Did you want to be pegged, Corporal? We can certainly work that in next time if you’re—”
“If I’m what, Private? Down to fuck? That’s why you’re here, right?” It was a cold and callous thing to say but he needed some answers from her. Torturing himself for the past hour wondering what she was doing was not his style and yet he’d had no control over it.
Chase needed control. Badly. And he was losing it with her, if he’d ever even had any of it to begin with.
Vivien recoiled as if he’d slapped her, but she recovered quickly, practically slamming the take-out box onto his desk. “Next time I’ll check to see if they have a whiny-ass man-child burger. Maybe it will suit you better.”
Chase stood and stepped around his desk. “Why are you here?”
Something akin to pain flashed in her eyes as she took her lower lip between her teeth. “I brought you something to eat. I didn’t realize that was a hard limit for you or I wouldn’t have bothered.”
“Why, though? Why bring me anything?”
Vivien shook her head and started to leave. The obvious distress his behavior had caused was evident all over her face. Chase reached for her arm, taking it gently but firmly enough to keep her from walking out.
“I don’t know what you want from me, Brooks. I’m trying to figure it out and go with the flow, swear to fuck I am, but I am lost here.”
Vivien’s eyes rounded as they met his. “Well you haven’t exactly been an open book either, sir.”
He nodded, conceding the truth in her words. “Maybe we need to clarify some things. Sit. I’ll eat. We’ll talk.”
“Sir, yes, sir,” she mocked, lowering herself into the seat across from his desk while he took his own.
“Thank you for the burger. It smells amazing and I’m starving.”
“You’re welcome,” she said softly with noticeably less animosity in her voice.
“So . . .” Chase opened the box and a heart attack disguised as Heaven greeted him. “How was dinner with Lawson?” He took a large bite and nearly groaned out loud in pleasure. She arched an eyebrow and tilted her head as if surprised that he wanted to discuss her dinner date. Had the woman heard nothing he’d said Friday night? “Must’ve not have been too fascinating since you’re here. Quick date?”
Recognition flared in her expression. “Ah. I see now.”
Chase worked hard to swallow his next bite quickly before wiping his sauce-covered mouth with a napkin. “See what?”
Vivien’s mouth spread into a knowing smile. “You were jealous. About Lawson. That’s why you were such a dick today.”
“I was a dick today? How so?”
Vivien laughed. “Oh, I don’t know. Ripping my head off for laughing for one. Stalking off like a petulant child when you overhead me making plans to grab a burger with a friend. Then you question my motives when I bring you food. Kind of dickish behavior.”
Chase could feel his forehead creasing. She had a point. A few points.
He knew himself well enough to know his own strengths and weaknesses. Maybe he couldn’t do the same type of behavioral-analysis profiling shit that Luke could, but he got the gist of it. He was good at giving orders, at leading a group, at taking risks and assuming responsibility for them.
Talking openly about his feelings however, not so much.
“I didn’t mean to be,” he said lower. “A dick, that is. Or jealous, if that’s what I was. But yeah, I didn’t like it that you were going to dinner with Lawson. Particularly since you’ve never been to dinner with me.”
“You never asked,” Vivien offered evenly.
She had him there.
“I should have. I wanted to—this weekend. I just wasn’t sure . . .” He trailed off into a sigh. Truthfully he wasn’t sure about anything. Where they stood, what exactly they were risking, if she wanted to risk anything just to be with him. Hell, if she even wanted to be with him beyond the bedroom.
“Wasn’t sure about what? Me?”
Chase nodded as he polished off his burger and set the box aside. “About all of it. You said so yourself, the night we met, that you didn’t want more than that—than a fling. I didn’t know if that had changed or not. And this is a risk—you know that. Anything we do we have to do privately and carefully.”
Vivien scoffed at him. “I think a few things have changed since you were just the hot guy at the bar.”
Chase fought back a smile. “Oh yeah? Such as?”
Vivien stood and came around to his side of the desk.
Chase watched wide-eyed as she straddled his lap and wiped what he assumed was barbecue sauce off the corner of his mouth with her thumb. He kissed it gently then slid his hands onto her hips, wanting to close his eyes and delight in the feel of her pliant body against his.
“You stayed at the med center with me when you didn’t have to. You told me about your dad, helped me overcome my fear of that damn suit, and I don’t know how it was for you but for me . . . Friday night was . . .”
“Pretty damn spectacular,” Chase finished for her.
Vivien nodded. “Yeah. So while I don’t want to get you in trouble, I can honestly say without a doubt, I want you. And not just your dick, Corporal. Though I may or may not have you saved in my phone as Corporal Perfect Cock.”
Chase let out a loud chuckle and pressed his forehead to hers. “Well I probably shouldn’t put you in mine as Private Perfect Pussy, but I would if I could.”
“What do we do?” Vivien asked, the urgency in her tone shifting quickly from teasing to intense as the warmth she gave off grew hotter against him. “Can we even do this?”
“Hell yeah, we can,” Chase answered eagerly. In that moment, consequences felt like a foreign concept he had no interest in exploring.
He kissed her deeply, long and slow, pouring everything he couldn’t convey with words into her mouth.
Vivien broke the kiss just as he’d begun to grind his erection against her, and he groaned in protest.
“Seriously. We need to focus here. If we’re going to do this, we need to be prepared for what could go wrong and how to prevent it.” There was legitimate concern in her voice and Chase wanted to assuage it.
“I know, baby. And I promise, if anything goes sideways, whatever shit comes down the line will fall on me and me alone.”
Vivien shook her head. “I don’t want that either. I don’t want to hurt you in any way.”
“I don’t want to hurt you either, sweetheart.” He gave her tight ass a firm squeeze. “Only in the good ways that make you come for me.”
“Chase!” She slapped his chest playfully. “I’m serious. What was it you said about training? That first day in the field?” She lowered her voice a few octaves. “You need to have these concepts, not just the what but the how—the specifics—ready to go at all times. You also need multiple fail-safes and backup plans in case the ideal option isn’t available.”
Chase smiled at her impression of him. “Okay, so we’ll come up with a five-point plan to execute. When we go out, what we drive, where we go, whose place we stay at, and how loud you can scream when I fuck you. Got it.”
“You’re hopeless,” she said, resting her body against his. “What am I going to do with you?”
Chase leaned back to look his fill so he could fully appreciate having her in his arms. He let his fingertips skate up her bare thighs until they edged beneath her dress.
“What do you want to do with me?”
Vivien glanced at his empty take-out box. “Well, we’ve both already had dinner so I was thinking . . . dessert?”
Chase felt the tension in his chest easing for what seemed like the first time in weeks. “It’s like you read my mind.”