I couldn’t get the blood off my hands.
My fingers shook as adrenaline dumped from my system. I’d done my best to keep my men from seeing my reaction to the ambush, but now that we were back in the Hummer, I finally let it out.
A little.
The tower of gear between my driver, Specialist Brady, and me kept him from seeing the dance my hands were doing. He was too busy honking the horn and ramming cars off the road to notice anyway.
I clenched my jaw, forcing my lips not to quake. Without my Oakleys, it was hard to keep him from seeing the sheen covering my eyes. The stink of copper wafted from my shoulder, where the blood had soaked through. It was sticky and warm.
“Drive on the sidewalk if you have to,” I barked at Brady. I hoped my voice didn’t quiver.
Sandford and Barker didn’t make a sound in the backseat.
We’d followed the orders that came down from the commander, even though we all had a bad feeling about that goddamn house. The front of the place was wide open, giving anyone who wanted to take a shot at us a perfect opportunity. It felt wrong.
The heat baked off the hardened, cracked ground in waves, as it always did in Shitsville, Iraq. Goats bayed somewhere down the street. Sweat coursed from every pore in my body.
Another fireteam joined in, making us eight strong—more than enough to check out one house. We left the Humvees down the block and ran around two shitty apartment buildings on our way to the rear of the house.
Kicked the door in.
Secured the rooms.
No problem.
Except the damn place was empty. Another wild goose chase courtesy of some intel jackass who had never left the green zone. We found a couple of cell phones and a wad of cash, which meant there could have been some activity there at some point.
Al-Qaeda used cells to detonate IEDs.
Even though I didn’t like its wide-open nature, I figured the house wouldn’t have much going on since they only sent eight of us. If something big was going down, they usually sent a lot more than that. But still, what the hell was the point? Another day, another example of bureaucratic incompetence.
I sent the other fireteam back to the base while we bagged and tagged the little bit of contraband we found. It didn’t take eight guys to round up some cash.
Money had a way of disappearing as it passed through more hands too. It would be easier for me to keep track of it if there were less people involved.
Sergeant Barker kicked a hole in the wall on our way out. He was just a kid really, but this was already his third tour in the sandbox. To say that he’d become disillusioned with the whole thing would be a bit of an understatement.
Barker was a good soldier though. He did what I asked of him, always. Even though I was his lieutenant, we’d developed a bit of a friendship. He liked football, beer, and hot women, which made us blood brothers.
Along with the rest of America, right?
His little boy sent him an email every single day, which always perked him up in the mornings as he read them. Though the kid was five years old, Barker had only spent two of those at home. The other three had been here in Hell. That was no way for a family to function. A son should know his father.
Watching Barker catch a bullet was something that would always haunt me.
He was stomping through the front door, bitching the entire way, when he stumbled. I thought he’d tripped over something at first. The snap of a sniper’s rifle reached us a split-second later.
Barker staggered a half step sideways before collapsing in the dirt.
“Get down!” I lunged for the wall beside the door, barely getting out of the way as a bullet whizzed by.
Brady crouched by a window, his mouth twisted in fear. “Is Barker hit?”
“Yeah.” I poked my head around the frame, scanning the opposite side of the street for a microsecond. Wood splintered in front of my face as I jerked my head back inside. “I can’t spot the fucker.”
I looked back at Private Sandford. “Take Brady’s spot.”
He ran to the window and ducked down. Brady crawled to the corner and stood up as another barrage of rounds peppered the wall by the window.
“What are we going to do?” he asked. I heard the panic in his voice. I couldn’t blame him—I was about to shit myself. “We can’t leave Barker out there. He’s dying, man!”
“Go get the Hummer,” I shouted over the gunfire. “We’ll meet you out back. Don’t stop for anything, you hear me?”
He hesitated. “What about Barker?”
“I’ll get him, now go! And get on the radio. We need some fucking help!”
He ran through the living room, clearing the back door as a series of holes were punched in the floor behind him.
“Sandford, on the count of three, I want you to pop up and put a mag into the building across the street. I’m going to drag Barker in here, you got it?”
“Yes, sir!” He adjusted his grip on his rifle, his eyes as wide as saucers.
I took a deep breath. Sandford hadn’t even turned twenty. I was about to jump into the line of fire with a kid who couldn’t even legally drink yet as my only cover. This was his first tour. Hell, he’d only been out on a handful of missions.
He hadn’t even seen any action until now.
“Barker, can you hear me?” I peeked around the corner again.
Barker was facedown in the dirt. He didn’t move when I called his name a second time.
I held my hand up, one finger raised. Sandford nodded.
Raised a second finger.
With the M4 against my shoulder, I burst into the open. I blindly pumped a handful of rounds into the far building, hoping the suppression would buy me a few seconds.
In two steps, I was at Barker’s feet. I dropped my rifle, letting it hang from the clip attaching it to my shoulder, and grabbed his ankle. He wasn’t a small man, weighing at least two hundred pounds. Adding that to the heavy gear we all had to lug around, and I struggled just to get him moving.
Sandford unloaded across the street. He screamed as he fired.
We inched backward as I heaved against Barker’s weight with everything I had. The heels of my boots skidded in the dirt with each step. Fear pulsated through me as the first tufts of dust flitted into the air beside my feet as the sniper’s bullets honed in.
My head snapped back, and I heard a thud as a round glanced off my helmet. The force knocked me to my ass.
Sandford’s rifle clicked. “Reloading!”
I grabbed my weapon and raised it again, shooting over Barker’s prone body. With my legs splayed out in front of me, I scanned the windows of the dingy apartment complex again as I continued firing.
And then I spotted it—muzzle flare.
“Third floor, second window from the right!” I spaced my shots, not wanting to shoot my wad until Sandford was ready again.
“I see him!” The private sent another volley at the open window, and the sniper’s firing ceased for a moment.
I clambered back to my feet and grabbed Barker. His torso was halfway through the doorway when the shooter started again. The frame splintered by my knees as I dragged him the rest of the way in.
Flipped the sergeant over.
Blood everywhere.
Eyes open and glassy.
“Goddamn it.”
Sandford dropped under the window again. “Are you hit, LT?”
“No, but we need to get him out of here right now.” My head thrummed from the ricochet. The stress and pain made it difficult to think clearly.
“What’re we gonna do?” Tremors ran through Sandford’s voice. He jammed another magazine into his rifle.
“We’re going out the back. I’m going to carry him out first, while you lay down another round of suppressing fire. Got it?”
He nodded and wiped at the sweat running down his brow from under his helmet.
I bent down and lifted Barker’s limp arm, pulling it over my shoulders. His head lolled on his neck. The weight of his rag-dolled body fought against me as I struggled to get him off the floor.
I got his waist against my shoulder and managed to pull him onto my upper back. My knees creaked as I straightened out, teetering as I shifted his weight to distribute it better. Cords stuck out on my neck.
“Give me one more line of fire while I carry him out, then you follow.” My words were clipped, breathless.
Sandford slid over to the door. “Ready.” He popped into the opening and loosed another burst.
I made it halfway across the room when he shouted behind me.
“RPG!”
The explosion hammered my ears. The wave of heat thrust me toward the door, and I struggled to stay on my feet with Barker on my shoulders.
Sandford ran into us, shoving us along even faster.
As I turned sideways to fit through the doorway, I caught a glimpse of the front of the house. A wide, dust-filled hole ate up most of the front wall, the space between the door and window gone.
My ears rang.
I straightened out and ran through a squalid, empty kitchen. We paused at the rear door, and I nodded at it. “You first.”
“What?” Sandford banged his left ear with his hand. Grime covered his face. “I can’t hear shit!”
Barker’s weight strained my neck and shoulders. “Go!”
He must have heard me because he plunged through the doorway, rifle at the ready. Never breaking stride, he scanned both directions and disappeared into the backyard. The kid was kicking ass.
My eyes struggled to adjust to the brightness outside. The sun always blasted you like a furnace in Iraq, making sunglasses a basic requirement. Mine had fallen off at some point during the firefight, though I couldn’t remember when.
Blowing dust stung my cheeks as I cleared the house. Sandford shouted something from ahead, but I couldn’t make it out. The fog of war blotted out half of my senses.
The street behind the house stood empty. Usually it would have been teeming with civilians and small goats. Every living thing but us had fled when the shooting started.
“Where the hell is Brady?”
The Humvee came barreling down the unpaved road to our right. Brady sat at the wheel. It slid to a stop by Sandford, who was still shouting incoherently.
The ringing in my ears abated slightly as I ran to the driver’s side. Pain twisted into my knees with each step. Barker’s blood ran down my shoulder, soaking into my jacket. It coursed over my hands as I held onto his equipment to keep him from falling off me.
The thrumming gunfire from the other side of the house intensified.
Brady jumped out of the vehicle and opened the back door, waving me toward it. “Is he alive?”
I didn’t reply because I didn’t know. When I got within two feet, I lowered my right shoulder and leaned into the open door. Barker flopped onto the rear seat, his arm hanging limply to the floor. His eyes were wide open, unseeing.
“Get us the fuck out of here!” I shoved Barker’s feet in the door and slammed it shut.
Specialist Brady hopped in behind the wheel.
Sandford stood by the rear bumper, firing at the side of the house in small bursts. I grabbed him and dragged him around to the other side. Brady had the truck rolling before we’d even closed the doors.
The windshield spider-webbed in front of me.
Bullets dented the hood and fender.
“Get pressure on his wound!” I shouted back at Sandford.
“Lieutenant Benson, are you hit? Your helmet is fucked up.” Brady kept glancing at me out of the corner of his eye.
“I’m fine. Just get us the hell out of here.”
“Yes, sir.”
When we rounded a corner two blocks away from the house, the gunfire finally died down behind us. I unstrapped my helmet and took it off.
The fabric by the area just above my left temple was torn away.
Son of a bitch had missed my face by three inches.
Cars swerved in front of us as we flew down a side street.
The citizens of Iraq held no regard for traffic laws or decorum. They did whatever the hell they wanted. Driving was complete madness, and we didn’t have time for that shit.
Brady rammed the back end of a Dodge Shadow, sending it careening off to the side.
“Drive on the sidewalk if you have to.”
My hands started shaking. I dropped my helmet to the floor and stared at my trembling fingers. Blood dripped from my knuckles.
I wiped my hands on my dust-covered pants, mixing the dirt and blood into a grime.
I couldn’t get them clean. The filth nestled in the lines of my palms and the crooks of my fingers, refusing to come off. The sight sent a fresh wave of dread through me.
My throat bobbed as I fought to keep my emotions in check.
Focus.
“How is he?” I turned and looked into the backseat.
Sandford held Barker’s head in his lap. Tears cleaned lines down the private’s soiled cheeks. He’d closed Barker’s eyes.
I reached for my friend’s hand, fighting against the scream building in my throat.
A deafening roar popped my eardrums.
A concussive force lifted my body, spinning me around in midair.
Brady screamed beside me.
The world outside flipped as the Humvee rolled. Flames licked across what was left of the front end.
My head cracked off the window beside me.
And everything went black.