CHAPTER FOURTEEN

 

Nikki was glad Joe was on the team when he read the note, not because she needed his strength, but because she didn’t. She had learned to depend on herself over the years. Her reason for being glad he was on the team was he would understand the clues as she did.

“Alicia,” he said, handing the paper back to Stiles.

“Alicia Braeborne? The senator’s daughter?”

Nikki nodded. “That’s what the note implies. I called her as soon as the caller disconnected. Allen Benedict, her fiancé answered. He told me she left last night for a weekend at a spa. She didn’t tell him which one.”

Stiles cast a doubtful look her way. “Isn’t that strange?”

“That’s what I thought. He said she gets antsy because they’re always on display because of his political ambitions. She likes to disappear and spread her wings. He thinks she’s having doubts about the wedding, too, so he wanted to give her some space.”

Stiles paced. Nikki already knew it would be a few minutes before he spoke. The detective liked to mull things over before offering any information.

Joe leaned against the table, still only inches from her. Nikki tried to concentrate on the problem. She couldn’t. She tried repeating her mantra. It didn’t help.

The only man she had ever loved, ever wanted, was inches away. Heat settled low in her abdomen, terrifying her. She glanced up and saw an answering heat in his brown eyes. Relief flooded through her when his phone rang breaking their connection.

“Fitzpatrick.” He pushed away from the table while he listened on the phone. “Just a minute.”

Nikki noticed he covered the phone before speaking to Stiles.

“I’m going to take this outside,” he said, walked to the door, and then turned back meeting her gaze. “I’ll be right back.”

Nikki had conflicting feelings about his reassurance. On one hand, she hoped he had to leave so she didn’t have to fight her attraction to him. On the other hand, his presence gave her confidence a huge boost. She needed all the confidence she could get to figure out who was trying to drive her crazy.

“What about a cell phone?” Stiles said interrupting her internal debate.

Nikki shook her head. “Allen said she left it behind. She didn’t want any distractions.”

“I’ll bet whoever called knew we wouldn’t be able to verify it. That’s why they waited. They knew when she would leave. I guess Joe is right. It is someone from your past.”

The door opened and Joe came back in. “Sorry, it was the DA. The case I was supposed to testify at in court tomorrow was resolved with a plea bargain. What did I miss?”

Nikki hated the relief she felt with his return. Determined to ignore it she filled him in. “We’ve decided that whoever called, knew Alicia would be incommunicado.”

“Makes sense,” Joe said, walking back to his place at the table.

Nikki couldn’t take the temptation anymore so she stood and walked over to sit beside Officer Collins.

“What do you think?” she asked the woman.

“I’m not sure. It makes sense if they want us to spend time running in circles looking for her, however, it appears their main goal so far has been to cast doubt on you. You’re here so what could you have had to do with it?”

The officer had a point; the media had released everything else to the public. Why do something they couldn’t check out? Unless? She stood and took up the pacing Stiles had stopped. “They don’t think you suspect me.”

“Come again?” Stiles asked.

“An officer took me to a motel last night. Today, Officer Collins took me to my house and then here. Did you have anyone watching my hotel last night?” She stopped pacing long enough to look at him.

Stiles shook his head.

“They knew that, too.”

“I see where you’re going with this,” Joe said. “They’ve put in question the only hours they know you haven’t been under police scrutiny.”

Nikki felt like a lottery winner. “Yes. Now the big question. Why?”

“I can answer that one,” Stiles said into the silence left by Nikki’s question. “You know something.”

“I don’t, I swear,” Nikki said. Why wouldn’t this guy cross her off the list? Defending herself was getting old.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Stiles said. “Whether you do or don’t doesn’t matter. They think you do, that’s the point. They’re trying to cast doubt on your credibility. That’s another reason why they’re calling hard lines and not your cell.”

Nikki hadn’t thought about that before. “You said another reason. What’s the first reason?”

“To scare you. They couldn’t know where you are. If they called your cell phone, that wouldn’t mean anything. By calling land lines, they’re making you think they’re watching your every move, and trying to make you look guilty at the same time.”

“Are they succeeding?” Nikki looked at Joe first. When he shook his head, she looked at Stiles. “You?”

“I might be stubborn, but I’m not stupid. When things are this neatly tied up, I get suspicious. The easy solution is rarely the right one.”

Nikki collapsed with relief into her seat at the table. She’d worry about being a wimp later. Right now, she needed all the strength she could get. If it meant being near Joe Fitzpatrick, then that’s where she wanted to be.

“So what now?” she asked.

“Now, we ignore the call,” Stiles said, he held up a hand stopping Nikki’s interruption. “Publicly anyway. We don’t give it any recognition at all.”

He turned to Collins. “I’m not putting this discussion in my official report yet, and I don’t want it in yours either.”

“Right,” the officer said with a nod.

“If anyone asks, you’ve been on patrol.”

Nikki watched as Stiles made a closer inspection of Officer Collins. Did he just realize what a beautiful woman the officer was? When he turned his attention to her, Nikki felt her old insecurities return. Her defensive mode reared its head.

“What?”

“You two are about the same size,” he said. “Hair color’s close, too. Probably couldn’t tell them apart from a distance.”

“True,” Joe said, as he looked them both over as well.

Nikki shook her head. “First, you’re both blind. Officer Collins is gorgeous. Second, I hope this means you have a plan and aren’t just getting some cheap thrills.”

# # #

“I should never have agreed to this.”

Joe turned his back on Nikki while he poured them more coffee. Decaf this time. He could see how tightly wound she was and figured any more caffeine would probably launch her through the roof.

“So you keep saying.” He carried their coffee into the living room. She had been saying the same thing since she and Officer Collins had changed clothes. If he had known she was so averse to being alone with him, he could have come up with another plan. Not one he liked, but something different. Like locking her in a cell until they found this nutcase. That sounded better and better.

“Sit, you’re wearing a hole in my carpet.” She ignored him just as she had since their arrival.

“Call Stiles. Change the plan.”

“No.”

“Damn it, Joe. I can’t stay here.”

“Why? I told you Travis is spending the long weekend with a friend. You don’t have to worry about him.”

“But I’m his teacher. How does it look, the two of us alone in your apartment for the weekend?”

“It doesn’t look like anything because no one knows you’re here. No one that’s going to say anything anyway.” He leaned back in the chair he sat on. “What’s the real problem, Nikki?”

She walked over to the window, staying in the shadows. He’d already told her to stay out of view. “You.”

Joe felt relief that she’d finally admitted it. He thought for a while he was misreading her.

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. “I’m still pretty much a boy scout. Besides, I have to set an example for Travis. I don’t take that lightly.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Though she spoke so softly, Joe had a hard time hearing her.

“What did you mean then?”

She turned and leaned back against the wall. Joe saw deeper shadows under her eyes than he’d noticed earlier. Whatever had her upset it wasn’t good.

“You, of all people, shouldn’t be involved in this.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s dirty, evil,” she said breaking eye contact; she turned back to looking out the window.

“I’m not a saint, Nikki. I’ve rolled in the mud a few times.”

“Not like this.”

“Damn it, Nikki, talk to me,” he said, trying to keep the frustration out of his voice.

She turned at his change of tone. For a moment, he thought she would bolt out the door from the widening of her eyes. He realized he hadn’t done a good job with hiding his frustration. Her eyes kept darting between it and the window. Then she met his gaze. A sigh escaped her tense lips as she made her way to the sofa across from him.

He gave her a minute to sip her coffee and warm her hands on the mug. Sometimes holding a warm cup could empower people more than expected.

“I guess you deserve to know what you’re getting into.” She sat on the edge, perched for flight. “I’m not the sweet innocent girl you remember.”

Already Joe didn’t like the sound of this. He tried to keep it positive though. “None of us are who we used to be, Nikki.”

She set her cup on the coffee table. “If you want to hear this you have to stop making excuses for me.”

Joe held up his hands in surrender, forcing himself to lean back again and shut his mouth.

“I told you my uncle caused arguments with my parents. It wasn’t just the typical lending money to family thing, though dad did that, too. Darin made passes at my mom when dad wasn’t around.”

Joe couldn’t remain in his relaxed pose after hearing that. Leaning forward he picked up his cup to cover his rising tension. “What did your father do about it?”

“You’ve got to understand the family dynamic. My grandparents never thought they would have another baby after dad. Then when he was in high school, grandma found out she was pregnant. Darin was like a miracle to them. Dad bought into it, too.”

“So, he believed your uncle rather than your mother?” Joe could imagine the strain that put on the marriage.

Nikki shook her head. “Mom never told him.”

“What?”

“She didn’t want to upset dad. She knew how much he loved his brother. She thought she could make him stop.”

“But?” Joe hoped he didn’t have to pry every piece of the story out of her.

“He didn’t. He considered her silence an invitation.” She ducked her head and Joe heard a sniffle.

He reached for the tissue box on the end table and set it in front of her. Other than that, he waited quietly. He had a bad feeling he knew what she would say next.

“I came home from school one afternoon to find her half-naked, curled in a ball on the living room floor.”

“What the hell? He raped her?” When Nikki nodded, Joe understood why psychologists say everyone has the capacity to kill. At that moment, he would have joyfully rung Darin Sterces’ neck. With every ounce of training he’d received, he managed to control his rage. “When did this happen? You reported it, right? Your father had to know.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head repeatedly. “Mom wouldn’t let me call anyone for help.”

“Dear God, why not?”

“That’s what I asked her, but she wouldn’t say anything else. She made me swear not to tell anyone. She grabbed me by the arms and shook me. She was hysterical, Joe. I had to agree. She wouldn’t let go of me until I swore.”

He gave up the distance game. One step around the coffee table and he pulled her into his arms as he sat beside her. “It’s okay, Nikki. You were just a kid. You did what your mom wanted.”

She remained in his arms far too short a time. Joe wanted to hold her there, not hear anymore of her uncle’s dirty secrets. Unfortunately, she seemed determined to tell him the whole story. If nothing else, he at least stayed beside her. Her body language when she pulled away said don’t touch me, but she only moved an inch or so.

“The only other thing she said about it was that I was never to be alone with him. She made sure I wasn’t, too. If mom and dad were going out, she had me call a friend and stay at their house or I would tell them I had a class at the studio and come over here. Your dad didn’t seem to mind when I’d show up unannounced.”

Joe smiled at her. “He loved having you over. Almost as much as I did.”

His words, meant to bring some good memories into the ugly ones swirling around them had the opposite affect. This time she did move away. Clear across the room. When she started talking again, it was as if he’d never said a word.

“All went well, if you call my mother walking around like a zombie well. Then mom died. I know it was ruled an accident, but I’ve never believed it. I think she couldn’t take it anymore and...”

“Nikki, stop right there,” Joe said. He stood and went to the kitchen. Retrieving one of several files he’d brought home to look through, he returned. “When Stiles first doubted you, he pulled the files on your parents’ deaths. This is your mother’s.” He held it out to her. “I glanced through it earlier. All the evidence, skid marks, speed estimates, everything point to her swerving to miss something. An animal, another car, they weren’t sure, but she did not drive over that cliff deliberately.”

For the first time since they’d walked in the door, Joe felt like he’d done something good. When she looked up at him, he saw years of guilt slip off her shoulders. “Nikki, I wish I had known about this before. You never should have carried this by yourself.”

“It’s okay,” she said, hugging the folder to her. “At least I know now. Thanks.”

She walked around him taking the folder with her back to the sofa. She opened it and pulled out a picture of the crushed and burned vehicle. “Now I know she didn’t leave me behind.”

Joe remained across the room watching her. God, how heavy a load of guilt had she been carrying all these years? He thought about his own load of guilt. He hadn’t tried hard enough to find Nikki after graduation. He’d married Melissa even though he hadn’t loved her and hadn’t been able to help her when she needed him most. His failure to notice when his job was tearing his son up inside. Yeah, well, at least he deserved his guilt. He shook himself out of the quagmire pulling him down. This was about Nikki not about him.

“So, this is the dirt you think should keep me from helping protect you?”

Nikki put the picture back in the folder, closed it, and met his gaze. “No. That was just the beginning; mom’s death devastated my dad. He could have been a robot for all the life left in him. He spent most of his time at work, and when he was home, he’d look at me and start crying.

“So, I did what’s expected of a good girl. I took care of the house and laundry, made sure there was food for him in the fridge and I made myself scarce. It worked for a while and then dad had to go out of town for an extended business trip.”

Please, don’t say, what I think you’re going to say, Joe prayed. He didn’t think he could live if she did.

“It was a last minute thing. He didn’t even tell me, my uncle did.” She stopped and took a deep breath before looking up and catching his gaze with her big brown eyes. “The night he picked me up at the library.”

There it was; the stabbing pain through his heart. Joe felt certain he would collapse any moment. Unfortunately, he didn’t. The look in her eyes told him she wasn’t finished. He hadn’t been there for her before, but he could damn well buck-up and be there now.

“Go on,” he said, though he dared not move a muscle.

First, she broke eye contact. Then she sat in silence so long he didn’t think she heard him. Still he didn’t move.

“Knowing how evil he was I had to go with him, please understand that,” she said, lifting her eyes to him again.

All Joe could do was nod. He didn’t trust his voice anymore.

“I was afraid of what he would do to you if I didn’t. I swear I didn’t think he would do more than yell at me.”

Joe felt the shovel full of guilt land squarely on his shoulders at the same instant he felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He knew what was coming and yet he couldn’t bring himself to believe it until she said it.

“That’s what he did, for awhile. Yelled, and slapped me a few times. I tried to run to my room, but he caught me by the hair. Then he shoved me ahead of him and followed me into my room.”

Joe couldn’t take it. He held his hands up. “Don’t say it. Don’t say anymore.”

All the little changes he had noticed since the morgue made sense now. Her keeping her physical distance, but not backing down from any perceived challenge. It all came up and slapped him in the face. How could he possibly have missed the signals he’d seen dozens of times before in Chicago?

“I fought him, Joe. I swear I did,” she said. Tears coursed down her face. She looked as scared now as she had when she’d walked to the car twelve years ago.

“Do you think I don’t know that?” The fury inside him made it more of an accusation than belief, he realized. Through the red haze of anger for the man that did this to her, Joe watched as Nikki shrunk back into the corner of the sofa making herself as small and invisible as possible.

God, I must look like the devil himself, he thought. Forcing himself to move, he took the few steps required to reach her chair.

“I’m sorry, Nikki. I didn’t mean to scare you.” His voice was hoarse from the raw emotion churning inside, but at least it was softer than the fury he’d spouted moments ago. “I’m mad at myself, not you. You are innocent.”

She shook her head. “No. I didn’t tell you this to share the guilt. It’s mine. All mine.”

“Nikki, you can’t believe that. You were raped,” he said, though the word caught in his throat. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes, I did,” she said. “I ran away and let that bastard get away with it.”

“You were seventeen,” he argued. “You were terrified and felt alone. No one can blame you for running away.”

“I do.”

Joe saw the determined tilt of her chin and stiff posture. He wasn’t going to convince her with platitudes or psychobabble. This would take time. He prayed they would have the time for him to take. Which brought him, them, back to why this afternoon of torture had happened in the first place.

“Okay, I’m not going to argue with you. Not now anyway.” He wanted her to know they would get back to this. “What we need to concentrate on is the case we have now. Why, after all these years is someone digging all of this up? What is it you know?”

 

 

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