Mike Microphone
Float Mike Microphone on the floor at the front of the stage where ‘floats’ (a row of lights) used to be
Head Mike A small microphone taped to the forehead or cheek
Mike Pack The battery, aerial and connecting wire, usually on a belt under the costume but also on the inside or outside of the thigh. Down the back of a corset, under the armpit. In America, in the wig
Stage Left Auditorium Right
Stage Right Auditorium Left
Prompt Side Stage Left
Bastard Prompt Stage Right
OP Opposite Prompt
USC Up Stage Centre. A Nice Place to be
DSC Down Stage Centre. A nice place to be if facing the audience
Centre The best place to be. As long as no one’s USC
Wings The bits either side of the stage where actors wait to come on and leave their throat sweets as they enter. Nothing to do with Red Bull or sanitary wear
Flys / Flies The place the crew go to have a chat during the show. In the roof of the theatre accessible by a vertical ladder
Grid A mesh that forms a floor above the stage. Newcomers are often asked to ‘sweep the grid’. It is a joke
Sightlines The angles from which the audience can see the whole stage. Difficult in a house where the auditorium is wider than the stage. It is thought hilarious to ask newcomers to ‘Paint the sightlines’
Lighting Rig The stage lights (lamps), which hang from bars, the circle, the wings or any available hook, depending on the lighting designer
Brace A bit of wood which holds up a flat
Cleat A bit of metal sticking out of the back of a flat
Cleat Line A bit of string
Set The world inhabited by performers on stage. Minimalist, Surrealist, Drawing-room or Box, invariably littered with actor traps
Flat A painted canvas on a wooden frame which makes up part of the set
Masking Flat Black material on a wooden frame used to prevent the audience seeing into the wings
Stage Weight Square or round lump of metal of some weight. Used to steady braces. Also to prop doors open. Often put by stage management into a prop-suitcase just before an actor picks it up thinking it’s empty. Also often put by actors into furniture the stage management have to move during a scene change. They were often used as ashtrays in the past
Trap Hole in the stage with a lid on it. Used for entrances and exits
Star Trap Small hole with a lid on it through which actors enter very rapidly. Usually in panto
Cyc (Cyclorama) Painted cloth at the back of the stage
Backcloth Cheaper painted cloth at the back of the stage
Skip A large cardboard box, originally basket, for storing and transporting anything except actors
Props Any object used by an actor that’s not nailed down
Talking props / Software Actors
TLC Talentless lazy c***s (usually the actors)
Prop table The table on which props are kept. Can be anywhere depending on the room available backstage. Normally in the wings
Workers Lights used on stage when the show lights are off
Blacks / Drapes / Tabs Various curtains
The Rag The Curtain
The Washing Line The song sheet flown in during panto or the Ring Cycle
Fourth Wall Through which the audience observes the actors in straight plays. Non-existent if the actor plays direct to the audience. This is referred to as ‘breaking the fourth wall’ ‘playing out front’ or an ‘absolute disgrace’ depending on whether you’re doing Brecht, Cooney or Ibsen
Hemp House A theatre where the flying of flats and curtains is done by hand with hemp ropes. It is not a West End theatre where the crew are mainly Rastafarian
Iron The Safety Curtain
Forestage What sticks out beyond the Iron or the pros
Pros / Proscenium Arch The frame round the stage going from floor almost to grid
Pasaralle A semi-circular runway from the stage, often surrounding the band – to keep them out of the pub
Vomitorium A tunnel entrance from the auditorium
Sitzprobe When everyone sits and probes what’s going on just before opening a musical. Very Royal Shakespeare Company term
Treads Stairs on stage
Tallescope Ladder on wheels
Riggers’ Knickers Varies from place to place
Gaffer Tape The DNA of theatre. Without it nothing works
LX Electrics
Sound Irritating people who think the show is all about them. Often to be found under women’s skirts adjusting their mike packs
Prince of Darkness The Lighting Designer
Chorine Chorus member
Lahdy Straight actor
Turn Musical theatre / comedy, non-Shakespearean actor
Twirly see Walloper
Dance Captain The person who makes sure the dancers perform the choreography correctly. Often rehearses new members of cast who have joined after the show has opened
Walloper Dancer (does not include Rudolf Nureyev or Margot Fonteyn)
Swing Dancer who knows the ‘tracks’ of every other dancer. A universal understudy. Can go on for anyone at a moment’s notice. Paid very little extra. Needs psychiatric help
The Band More than one musician
Who’s Carving? Who is tonight’s condutor?
Follow Spot What we all want
Blonde / Basher / Limes Old terms for lights
House Lights Lights in the auditorium
FOH Front of house and its staff, including House Manager, usherettes, bar staff etc
Crew The people (mostly men) who work for the theatre as scene shifters. They build and dismantle the set. Not usually vegetarians
Stage Management Team Consisting of Stage Manager, Company Stage Manager, Deputy Stage Manager, Assistant Stage Manager(s). SM is most senior on stage and backstage after curtain up, outranking all including director. CSM deals with money as well as egos. DSM is on ‘the book’: sits in prompt corner with the script and ‘calls’ the show to lighting and sound operators. Also provides prompts if needed and calls the actors to the stage during the show in time for their entrances. This is a courtesy not an obligation. ASM spends life running round getting props, making tea and doing everything no one else wants to do. Often to be found in tears during the Technical Rehearsal. All but Company Manager wear black
Read-through the first reading, seated round a table, of the script
Technical Rehearsal A nightmare that can last between two days and four weeks. It does what it says on the tin. Everything of a technical nature is rehearsed and the actors are no more than the software
Tannoy / Show Relay Speaker through which the perfomance is heard in the dressing-rooms. Replaced call boys
Interval When the theatre owner makes their money
Entrance Round Applause when a famous actor comes on. Now confined to theatres where the audience is of an age
Exit Round Applause as an actor leaves the stage. Usually to show appreciation of a fine performance or a brilliant exit line. Often started by the actor himself
The Who’s Best The Curtain Call
SADS Severe Acting Deficiency Syndrome
Notes Interminable sessions in the stalls when the director attempts to improve the show by telling the actors where they’re going wrong. Some directors visit the dressing-room and give notes privately. This is often done rather than embarrass leading artists in front of the company. The late great Ken Hill wrote them out in different colours and nailed them to the wall for all to see
Cattle Call / Audition / Meeting Methods of getting work, depending on how high up the tree you are
Offer High enough up the tree not to have to do any of the above