Contents

INTRODUCTION

BACCALAUREATE

1 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE THE POWER; IN THE MEANTIME, REMEMBER TO SKYLARK!*
Bennington College, Bennington, Vermont, June 1970

2 THE TERRIBLE DISEASE OF LONELINESS CAN BE CURED!*
Hobart and William Smith Colleges, Geneva, New York, May 26, 1974

3 LET THE KILLING STOP*
Barnstable High School, Barnstable, Massachusetts, October 23, 1969

4 HOW TO MAKE MONEY AND FIND LOVE!
Fredonia College, Fredonia, New York, May 20, 1978

5 ADVICE TO GRADUATING WOMEN(THAT ALL MEN SHOULD KNOW!)
Agnes Scott College, Decatur, Georgia, May 15, 1999

6 HOW TO HAVE SOMETHING MOST BILLIONAIRES DON’T
Rice University, Houston, Texas, October 12, 2001

7 HOW MUSIC CURES OUR ILLS (AND THERE ARE LOTS OF THEM)
Eastern Washington University, Spokane, Washington, April 17, 2004

8 WHAT THE “GHOST DANCE” OF THE NATIVE AMERICANS AND THE FRENCH PAINTERS WHO LED THE CUBIST MOVEMENT HAVE IN COMMON
The University of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois, February 17, 1994

9 HOW I LEARNED FROM A TEACHER WHAT ARTISTS DO
Syracuse University, Syracuse, New York, May 8, 1994

10 DON’T FORGET WHERE YOU COME FROM
Butler University, Indianapolis, Indiana, May 11, 1996

11 WHY SOCIAL JUSTICE DOES MORE THAN ART TO NOURISH THE AMERICAN DREAM
State University of New York at Albany, May 20, 1972

12 HOW TO BE A WISE GUY OR A WISE GIRL
Southampton College, Southampton, New York, June 7, 1981

13 WHY YOU CAN’T STOP ME FROM SPEAKING ILL OF THOMAS JEFFERSON
The Indiana Civil Liberties Union (now The American Civil Liberties Union of Indiana), Indianapolis, Indiana, September 16, 2000

14 DON’T DESPAIR IF YOU NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE!
On receiving the Carl Sandburg Award, Chicago, Illinois, October 12, 2001

15 HOW I GOT MY FIRST JOB AS A REPORTER AND LEARNED TO WRITE IN A SIMPLE, DIRECT WAY, WHILE NOT GETTING A DEGREE IN ANTHROPOLOGY
From An Unsentimenal Education: Writers and Chicago, University of Chicago Press, 1995

16 SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME NOT TO JOIN A FRATERNITY
“If I Knew Then What I Know Now: Advice to the Class of ’94 from Those Who Know Best,” Cornell Magazine, May 1994

17 THE MOST CENSORED WRITER OF HIS TIME DEFENDS THE FIRST AMENDMENT
“The Idea Killers,” Playboy Magazine, January 1984

18 MY DOG LIKES EVERYBODY, BUT WAS NOT INSPIRED BY ANCIENT GREECE AND ROME OR THE RENAISSANCE
“Why My Dog Is Not a Humanist,” The Humanist, November/December 1992

UNSTUCK IN TIME—QUOTES TO PONDER