There are rules to how one dresses to buy dragonfruit. The first time I read Shannon Dunlap’s essay "Forwarding Addresses,” this sentence resonated. It echoed an unspoken question that appeared again and again in the stories of the 86 expatriate women who submitted their work for consideration in this collection. It is a question I tackled when I moved to Asia four years ago, when I started my first expat job, when I married into a local family. It is, of course, not a question about shopping, nor is it about clothes.
It is a question of balance.
How can I be respectful of the rules of this new culture? When do I choose not to adhere to the norms of my adopted home? Should I assimilate? Should I be independent? Or accommodating? Where is the point of equilibrium for a modern woman navigating a new culture?
From everyday occurrences like shopping and taking the bus, to dealing with loss and infertility far from home, the expat life is full of tension. Despite the enthralling stories resulting from this tension, too often expat women’s voices go unheard. We are labeled and dismissed, tagalong characters in someone else’s adventure. But if the scores of submissions I read for this work are any indication, there’s a lot more to the story.
In Asia especially, expat men have long held the spotlight. They arrive, tall and privileged, and find a life that is charmed, exotic. Sometimes, they bring along wives who may not be able to find work, no matter how educated and accomplished they were back home. The women’s voices are confined to coffee mornings and emails to the folks back home. You will find those voices in this collection. But there are as many kinds of stories as there are expat women. Some feel freer, safer, and more valued in East Asia than in their home countries. They innovate and take control in a way they couldn’t in a more stagnant environment. They trail their ambitions here. They thrive. They make their voices heard.
The twenty-six women in this collection will show you what it’s like to be an outsider. Some of them came to Asia alone, striking out to find a new life. Some took risks on a job, a lover, a whim. Some look, on the outside, as if they should blend in, women with Asian faces and other cultures who strongly identify as expatriates. They feel their otherness but are expected to be fluent in the language and the culture and the way one dresses to buy dragonfruit.
These twenty-six women built spaces for themselves between the skyscrapers of China, the markets of Cambodia, the streets of Vietnam, and the art galleries of Japan. You will find them struggling to fit in and fighting to stand out. Just like any other women, they study, they work, they fall in love; they bear children and lose them; they wander; and they wonder where and what home is. You will find memories of childhood and confrontations with mortality, the furious uncertainty of youth and the emerging maturity of women who have found their place in the world—for now.
As you read these stories, put yourself in their shoes, their dresses, their motorcycle boots. These women are making choices every day. They must ask: Who am I in this culture, this place? Follow along as they explore the balance they’ve found in themselves and in their homes abroad.
Shannon Young
Hong Kong
February 2014