The Senate vote on Flag desecration was close last June and you can be assured it will come up for just before July 4th every year — especially if it is an election year. Should the Senate ever pass this Amendment, protesters of government policies (right, left, and middle of the road) will need a new symbol to get media and citizenry attention. I recommend protesters turn to Bible burning as the new alternative.
Why Bibles? Because burning Bibles is the perfect way to draw attention to your cause. In fact, it may draw more attention and ire than Flag burning ever did. In addition to TV, newspapers, and blogs, your protest will be covered by virtually every Church during weekend services.
Bible burning can be used by all political persuasions. Those opposing fundamentalist religious policies like gay bashing can burn King James versions. Fundamentalists might burn a New Revised Standard Version or a New American Standard Bible. Die-hard Republicans might consider burning The Jefferson Bible.
Those favoring building walls along our Southern and Northern boarders to keep out immigrants might burn Spanish and French versions of the Bible. And there are always gender neutral Bibles like Today’s New International Version that should appeal to Promise Keepers and other groups that insist on the man as head of the family.
Supporters of hierarchy might burn Gnostic Bibles. They say history repeats itself. Unlike burning oil, we won’t run out of Bibles. As the best-selling book for hundreds of years, Bibles are found in every hotel/motel room and in nearly every home. Even I, a skeptic, have several. And should Bible burning really catch on, it could be a boom for the publishing industry which has experienced some rough times.
Bible burning is the perfect sequel to a Constitutional Amendment endorsing idolatry. What better way to demonstrate our Flag’s Godlike status? With greater protection for Flags than Bibles, we can finally end our denominational squabbling united in the one true religion of nationalism.
The next two essays, which form the basis of a series on urban and historical crises that remains unfinished, chronicle the aftermath of two critical moments in recent American history. Using the events following the Rodney King beating in Los Angeles in 1992, and the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995, Dr. Ehrlich offers a succinct analysis of the lessons to be learned from each. From the de-politicization of the Los Angeles riots to the initial assumption of Arab involvement in Oklahoma City, Ehrlich demonstrates how much, and sometimes how little, our situation has changed.
Originally published in issue 21.