‘Look, Dr Dot … it’s very hard for me to be here with you. No, don’t speak. Please don’t say anything until I’m through talking. I guess Dr Guttman told you a little about me. I’ll tell you what I can, but I’m afraid to tell you everything. I don’t know if I should tell you about the demons? They’re everywhere. I can’t fight them. I abandoned the work. The group isn’t protecting me anymore. You probably think I’m crazy? I can’t stand it, I’m always hungry. I have a pit, this pit right here in my stomach. Can’t fill it up. I need to eat, but when I eat, I feel like I’m going to throw up. I hear voices. Since she died, I hear voices. They’re louder now. How do I know you’re not a demon? No, don’t say anything. I’m not ready to hear your voice. One more voice will put me over the edge. I left my mother … my mother’s house last year. My sister left too. My father went to work. Bastard. My mother drank a bottle of Drano. Ate up her stomach. How could I leave? She told me that she didn’t want to be a burden anymore. Didn’t want to spend my father’s money. Never saw her again. My father sees ghosts in the bedroom, where they used to sleep. Ghosts everywhere … I hope he dies soon. I’m not protected anymore. Christ, I’m shaking. No, don’t come any closer. I’ll just sit here and shake. I like to rock back and forth.’
‘We all left her.’
‘Down will come baby.’
‘I tried to save her … Her best friend Mrs B. found her in the tub … Are you a real doctor? It’s August. Why are you here? Why am I here?’
He speaks. ‘How can I help you, Loli?’
‘Kleenex, please.’ He hands me the box of Kleenex. ‘Are you really a psychiatrist?’
‘Yes, I am.’
‘Can you help me?’
‘I hope so.’
‘You look like my father. I hate him.’
‘He loves you, honey.’
‘She says he loves me.’
‘Who says he loves you?’
‘My mother.’
‘I’m sure he does. Loli, do you live alone?’ I nod yes. ‘Is there anyone who might come and stay with you? Is there anyone you trust?’
I nod yes again. ‘My sister Dina. But she’s very busy with my nephew. He’s sick. That’s why she couldn’t stay … with my mother. I could have … stayed. I could have saved her.’
‘Loli, no one can save anyone, unless they want to be saved.’
‘I’m tired.’
‘Go home. Get some sleep. Do you work?’
‘Not since my mother died.’
‘Call your sister. Tell her you need her. I’m sure that she’ll understand.’
‘Can I call you?’
‘Absolutely. My exchange can reach me any time night or day … Please call your sister.’
‘I will. I’m sorry if I’m … I’m just sorry … Thank you. Bye.’
‘Three blind mice!
Three blind mice!
See how they run!’
Dina and I ran … So did Pop.
‘Goes the …’
We all ran.