VIII

BREATH IS THE NEW BLACK

Reporting on the frenetic world of Hollywood celebrity only feeds my distraction from myself. A sensational story recently has followed the troubling story of actress Taryn Manning, who has been accused of beating her ex-girlfriend and splashing her with a cleaning solution. Manning stars as a disturbed felon in the Netflix series about a group of women in prison called Orange Is the New Black. The accusations against her would suggest Taryn’s life is imitating her art: Taryn was arrested for assault.

Throughout my career, I have developed a knack for reaching out to stars in crisis and offering them the opportunity to share their side of the story with a trusted journalist who will play fair and not sensationalize the interview. Reality stars caught in cheating scandals…pop stars recovering from addiction who want to explain how much they’ve changed…actors whose careers have been hurt by personal drama. Since Taryn fits firmly in this last category, I tell my boss that I am going to track her down for an interview, starting my search with every journalist’s favorite research tool: Google. Within minutes, I learn that the thirty-seven-year-old, who grew up in a trailer park in Arizona, is very active on social media and, in fact, she follows me on Twitter. Maybe she’s an E! fan. Encouraged, I follow her back and send her a direct message:

Hey T. Saw that story. Look, I’ve forever been a fan but finally saying “hey”…if you ever need help or facts straightened…feel free to hit me up anytime. I’ll help. Hope to meet ya—ken

Just a few hours later, Taryn writes back and shares that her ex is trying to “ruin” her even though she is innocent and has done nothing wrong.

I reply:

After 20 years doing what I do in Hollywood, working in this biz, surviving, I’ve been through a lot of shit too. I have empathy. Anyway, if you ever just feel like you need a friend in the media don’t hesitate. We all need friends, a team; people who won’t F you. Talk soon…

Taryn asks for my number, and several days later she calls me. She tells me her side of the story, admits she has been under a lot of stress and wants to clear her name, but her lawyers are advising her to keep her mouth shut. She sounds very upset, her voice cracking with emotion.

“That makes sense,” I tell her. “If there is a right time to do an interview, please know I am here.”

“Thanks for understanding,” Taryn says.

“Of course,” I say. “It sounds like it’s been a real hard time for you.”

“Honestly, Ken, it has.” Taryn lets out a long sigh. “Thank God I meditate. It has saved me.”

“You meditate?” I reply. “So do I. Well, I have recently started to at least.”

“A while ago, I learned Buddhist meditation,” she says. “And I have been trying to follow Buddhist practices.”

I tell her I recently have begun meditating with the help of a former Buddhist monk on the Headspace app.

“That’s cool, Ken,” she says. “I have found solitude by meditating. It has taken the pain out of my head. The truth is that it’s been a real hard time, and I have even thought about quitting acting because this tabloid part of the business is so shitty. But every time I meditate, I focus on love—onto myself, and I send it out. It really works. My heart is fully opened and blossomed and bleeding, Ken.”

“Thank you for sharing all this with me,” I tell her, explaining how I am amid my own search for God and peace and spiritual meaning in my life and I have been trying to be open to new beliefs and practices.

“I believe in God,” Taryn says. “I was raised in the Bahá’í Faith and was taught that there is unity in all religions and our purpose is to love God and in so doing love ourselves.”

Taryn doesn’t sound like the whack-job actress that “Page Six” gossip items have made her out to be. Of course, I learned long ago not to believe everything you read. Yet clearly she has made some poor choices in her life. But haven’t we all? I wish Pastor Brad’s “No Perfect People Allowed” slogan was painted over the Hollywood sign. Then, perhaps, the veil of perfection that cloaks the celebrity world would be lifted, thus freeing the masses from the unattainable Hollywood standards of beauty and lifestyle and money.

Even so, I am surprisingly impressed with Taryn’s spiritual awareness and her ability to articulate it with a relative stranger with such vulnerability and openness.

“I know I wanted to talk to you about doing an interview,” I tell her. “But to be honest, what you just shared with me is, personally speaking, exactly what I needed to hear. But if you ever need to share anything in the media, I am here for you. I don’t really ever take sides when I am reporting on a story. I am on the side of the truth.”

Taryn doesn’t reply. I hate awkward silences, especially over the phone.

I quickly add, “So there you have it.”

“Just keep meditating, Ken,” Taryn says. “That’s where you will always find truth.”