had come for me, and I sent her away. My best chance at escaping this strange place and its creepy ruler, and I threw it away. But I couldn’t let Robin give Yukio to Odell. I couldn’t make the woman choose between me and the man she loved, no matter how much I wished I could be free.
To make matters worse, I had no idea what Cicely had told Odell. Did the fae king know all about my powers now? Did he know that Robin was out for some sort of revenge? Did he suspect she and her unaligned court were quietly undermining the syndicate every chance they got?
He hadn’t said anything about any of it to me. I was simply dressed up like a doll and marched into the room where Odell held court. I had kept my head up, but refused to speak as he wrapped that damned collar around my neck. When he spoke to Robin of my powers, he made it sound like he thought I was weak and of little use. But then he switched tactics mid-meeting and insisted I was too valuable to trade for information alone.
He had used me to try to get Robin in his bed. When that failed, he had tried to use me to get Yukio back. It sickened me. I sat on the edge of my bed and slumped forward, my head in my hands. I wasn’t worth either horrible option. Not really. I was just a blind witch with a burdensome ability to heal. Surely hiring a normal, run-of-the-mill healer would be less fuss than dealing with my disability and my weird episodes. I was a burden on my keepers. I didn’t have any actual value.
No. Forcing myself upright, I squared my shoulders and lifted my chin. That wasn’t right, and I knew it. That was The Mother’s voice in my head. It was years and years of her conditioning me to be a compliant slave with no sense of self-worth. It wasn’t the truth. Nothing she had ever told me was the truth.
I recalled what she had said about Robin and the others using me. The same accusations that Odell cast out, unknowingly reinforcing the words of my previous tormentor. Maybe the two of them were capable of truth occasionally. If I hadn’t spoken up in that meeting, what would Robin have said? Some foolish part of me had just assumed she would trade Yukio or herself for me. But…I would never know. It was more likely she had been about to tell Odell thanks but no thanks, in that haughty but polite way of hers. In that voice that said she was willing to humor you for now, but you’d better not turn your back, or you might end up becoming a snack.
My mind went in circles, envisioning all the ways that meeting might have gone differently. Letting myself wallow over the fact that even with all my doubts about motives and political games, I missed Robin's court. Despite my best efforts to stop moping, I really didn’t have much to do with my time to distract me. As the natural light faded from the room and the evening stretched into night, I started yet another round of meditation in an attempt to stop the anxious churning of my thoughts, and the growing despair that was pulling at my soul. The surety that I would never be my own person. That I would never be free.
I jolted back to awareness of my surroundings at the faint click of the lock on my door being turned.
I frowned. The murky darkness that had taken over my room told me that night was clearly in full swing. The maid that brought me my food and any orders from Odell came at regular intervals during the day, but never overnight.
A soft meow had me standing and inching closer to the door. “What are you doing, goat man? This is my witch. Ah. I approve of your initiative. Power to the people.”
“Queen Cat?” I whispered into the dark.
The door cracked open, and I could see a faint blur of light from the hallway, but it revealed nothing to my blind eyes, aside from the fact that the door to my room was now open.
A soft, hushed sound reached my ears, like a of breath of chuffing laughter, telling me the cat wasn’t alone.
“Ah, my witch subject. I am here to offer you your freedom! Am I not a kind and beneficent ruler? One who deserves extra tuna and the softest window-seat bed?”
I swallowed my own laugh, nerves making me feel a bit jittery. What was she talking about? “Who is with you?” I whispered.
I felt magic push through my aura, gentle but insistent. Thoughts that weren’t mine filtered into my mind, almost like another voice was speaking, plunging a spear of icy fear through my heart. Cicely, that other voice whispered. The “words” were faint, almost like listening through static. But I got the gist. I felt humor. Beneath queen to do things unlocking doors.
It was beneath a queen to do things like unlocking doors by herself. Funny. If I wasn’t so terrified. I knew the nightmare storm had been just that—a bad dream. But the fear still lingered, as if I was about to be swept away and battered by the elements again at any second. The faun spoke in my mind. Did that mean he could make me dream when I was awake? Could he befuddle my mind even now and plunge me into a waking nightmare? Would I even know reality from dream?
I stood frozen in place, my heart thundering in my chest. Cicely. Bracing myself mentally, I searched for an antidote to the fear. Anger was a good choice, it seemed. The fae had slipped into my dreams, lured me with offers of friendship and safety, then coaxed my secrets from me with terror and magic, and now he was playing around in my head again. “What are you doing here?” I hissed.
There was a soft, muffled sound that could have been a pair of hard-soled men’s dress shoes for all I knew, but it reminded me of the sound of hooves. Ruya. Come. I know, angry. Please come. Yell later. After you free.
I huffed, a cold, hard anger replacing my earlier despair and lethargy. “You expect me to trust you? To just hurry off into the night with you? After how you violated my mind and betrayed me to Odell? Are you serious?! For all I know, you’re about to lead me to my death! Maybe Odell got bored, and he’s decided to revive the wild hunt. Or will I step outside and straight into a fairy circle? I’d rather die here in this pretty cage, than dance my feet to bloody stumps under some fae spell for your amusement!” For all I knew, I was spewing nonsense and none of those old human stories were real. But what did I know? I sliced my hand through the air in frustration. “And stay out of my head! If you want to talk to me, talk to me like a real fucking person, you asshole.”
Ruya witch. A warm hand landed on my shoulder, and I flinched. Without even thinking, I lashed out, catching him in the face with a slap so hard my palm burned from the force of it.
I just stood there, stunned at my own actions. I expected violence in return. Certainly, in my old life, any show of emotion would have been met with severe punishment.
Cicely just sighed. Deserved. He touched my arm again, fumbling his way to my wrist, then lifting my hand to place it against his body. Over his throat, I realized. My fingers found smooth, warm skin, bisected by a bumpy line of scar tissue. He swallowed and I felt his Adam’s apple bob and…catch. Then he let go of my hand and stepped back. Please. Hurry. Before noticed. I felt him shift away from me, but he tugged gently at the skirt of my dress. Won’t touch. Sorry. But dark. Low lights. Vision. Was he saying he didn’t want me to stumble around in the dark and get hurt?
I huffed. “Like you care. Why are you doing this?”
He sighed, and the noise sounded so tired. Don’t want you used. Like me. Please, witch. Go or stay. Now.” He tugged at my skirt again and I could hear him shuffle his feet. Mindspeak badly. He huffed again, impatiently. Odell. Torture. Kill when caught.
I hesitated a moment more. I didn’t trust the faun. If that was even what he was. For all I knew, that had all been part of the illusion. He might be a goblin, or some other sort of man-eating monster kept shackled in the ranks of the fae court. Nothing in this place would surprise me anymore.
But what other choice did I have? I had sent Robin away. I told her I didn’t want to be rescued, in as mean a way as I possibly could, to keep her from sacrificing anyone to save me. No one else was coming for me. And my chances of escaping on my own, blind and inexperienced with the outside world, were non-existent. I wouldn’t sit here like a swooning female in some fairytale, waiting for someone to come along and rescue me. Maybe this lying, backstabbing, asshole of a fae was the only prince charming I’d ever get.
I sighed and stepped forward, my hands outstretched. “Where are you? I’ll hang onto the back of your shirt.”
Yes, he said, and somehow it felt more like his usual cheerful voice in my head. He took my hand and guided it around to the back of what felt like a baggy sweatshirt. No talking. Ready to hide if someone.
I followed along as we left the room. The cat brushed against my leg and let out an encouraging chirp. “Wait!” I whispered, tugging at Cicely’s shirt to make him stop walking. “Queen cat, would your majesty be so kind as to grant her adoring subjects some assistance?” At her curious mew, I smiled. “Can you go a bit ahead of us and tell us if someone is coming?”
“I suppose,” she sighed. “If I must.”
Cicely started walking again and I followed. Understand cat?
I didn’t want to tell him anything else about my magic. But at this point, I felt like I was fighting a losing battle trying to keep anything about myself secret. “Yes,” I said, the word tense and clipped.
He didn’t ask any more questions, taking his own advice about keeping quiet.
We moved through the dimly lit spaces at a steady, silent pace. Twice, the cat started meowing, and Cicely pulled me aside, tucking us behind something leafy until our royal feline escort chirped an all-clear. I was tense the entire time, barely daring to breathe. I was certain that every step would be my last. That we would be discovered at any moment. But it seemed that Odell had decided I didn’t need much watching, since I hadn’t escaped yet in all the time I’d been here. And I had just announced my desire to stay here rather than go back to Robin.
We halted and Cicely turned, the warmth of his body drawing closer. Put necklace. Both of us. His thoughts in my head carried an undertone of urgency. Long chain. Awkward. Charm through wards.
Something to get us through the wards that covered the building.
“Okay,” I breathed. We were going to be caught at any moment, I just knew it. And Odell…I had a feeling his make-believe polite act would fall apart at some point and reveal something bloodthirsty underneath.
Cicely looped the long chain around my neck, then he slid an arm around my waist so we could stay close as we awkwardly shuffled through the door. The night air was heavy with humidity from the nearby river, but pleasant on my skin all the same. Cicely took the necklace off from around our necks, then touched my back. Off property. Quick. Across bridge.
I understood, thanks to my time with Robin and company. The perimeter wards probably weren’t as specific as the ones on the conservatory itself, but apparently the amulet wouldn’t hide us from these exterior wards.
I nodded my understanding. The darkness out here had a different quality, the blur around me almost a deep blue, rather than a complete pitch black. I thought maybe the moon was out. It gave me a pang of regret that I couldn’t enjoy this moment. I had spent so little time outside. The witch blood in my veins wanted to dance in the moonlight and touch every blade of grass. But I got a fistful of Cicely’s shirt instead.
We had just started moving again when a loud, echoing boom split the night. A bright light flared, turning the blur before me from midnight blue to fiery orange. Then it faded, leaving me in the dark once more, my ears ringing. Shouting erupted from somewhere behind us, and Cicely stumbled before speeding up.
“What was that?” I said, gripping tightly to his shirt as I stumbled along behind him across the gravel of the driveway and onto lush grass.
He huffed. Don’t know. Explosion? Not me. But over bridge now not notice.
Yeah, we could use any distraction we could get. If Odell’s stupid conservatory was on fire, I wasn’t about to stop and question it.
Cicely broke into a jog, and I ran along with him into the night, leaving the chaos of the fae court behind us.