about me.
It had been days, and there was no indication that Sanka or Robin were coming for me. I spent the long, dark hours meditating or drifting in state somewhere between sleep and awake. I used the bathroom by feel. I refused to eat anything the fae brought me, since I knew their magic would loosen my tongue. I drank the water sparingly, because even that had me feeling too relaxed and complacent.
I didn’t even think I knew anything important or secret about Robin and her rebel court, at least, nothing so damning that it would be valuable to the syndicate. But I also didn’t trust myself to know what was important and what was not in this little game they played. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if some small, seemingly-inconsequential bit of information from me caused Robin and the others harm.
And I knew, instinctively, that I could not let the fae figure out the full extent of my healing abilities. They would never let me go if they realized they had a source of eternal health and agelessness in their grasp.
But it was getting harder by the day.
I was so hungry that my stomach constantly cramped, and my hands shook. But that wasn’t even the worst of it. I was feverish. The magic inside me was building without an outlet. If I didn’t get out of here soon, I wouldn’t have to worry about the fae and their plans for me, because my own power would kill me.
Soft noises in the hallway registered slowly through the encroaching fog in my brain. The door was being unlocked. I stood and smoothed my shaking hands down the front of my rumpled, slightly smelly dress. It was hard to keep track of time, here in the dark. But I thought it was too early for the afternoon meal. Were they finally going to give up and let me go? Or…were they here to try other means of making me talk. Why did they want information about Robin so badly?
The door opened, and the light from the hallway made my eyes water after so long in the dark. “Come on then,” the kindly, cajoling voice of the maid said as she gripped my arm. Her fingers touched my bare skin, and I allowed it just long enough for a tiny trickle of magic to flow from me to her. Then I yanked my arm out of her grip.
I had to bleed off some of this power, but I couldn’t let them know what I was.
The thought was like a mantra in my head, one of the few things keeping me sane. Hide your power, hide your power, hide your power.
I was led through the bright, warm conservatory then through the doors, down a few steps to what felt like a thick carpet of grass. Outside. They had brought me outside. I could hear trickling water somewhere nearby, and a chorus of birdsong. I was tempted to bolt, to try to run for it. But from what I understood, I was on an island. The sad truth was, with my lack of sight, I was likely to end up in the river, or a duck pond or something. And I had never been given the chance to learn to swim.
“Ah, there you are my dear.” The fae king’s cool, charming voice slid over me like oil in water. Whatever it was inside me that hated his kind so instinctively, it had definitely grown stronger and more…sullen…during my confinement.
I lifted my chin and crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to speak.
“Oh, come now,” he said, drawing closer. “Surely, you’ve had enough of silence and stubbornness. Can’t you see you’re only making yourself miserable? My people tell me you haven’t been eating.” He tsked, as if he was a disappointed parent. “It’s not as if you have any spare weight to lose, darling. You’re only harming yourself.”
I snorted. “Oh, and I suppose kidnapping me and locking me in a dark room…that was my fault too?”
He sighed. “All is fair in love and war, isn’t that what they say? And being a syndicate leader means I am always at war. There is danger at every turn.” He gripped my elbow and tugged me over to sit on a low bench. I sucked in a breath and tried my best not to let my magic escape, even as my head spun.
“Take your little misfit court, for example,” he said, releasing me. I was surrounded by the heavy scent of flowers, and it took me a moment to realize that the little flickering tickles against my hair and skin were flower petals, raining down from a nearby tree. “A powerful person such as myself cannot allow someone like Robin to remain unaligned. It’s a wonder she has managed it for so long without one of the syndicate groups snatching her up, especially with the powerful creatures she keeps in tow. It’s a shame for them to be unaligned.”
I kept my chin up, even though I felt like I might fall over or burst into flames at any moment. “Are you that afraid of her?”
He scoffed. “Afraid? Hardly. Annoyed, is a more appropriate term. Living outside the protection of the syndicate is the purview of weaklings and madness. It’s a waste to have a lady such as your Robin living in the gutters of society. I’m merely concerned. I wish to help raise her up, to place her among the other powerful paranormals, where she belongs.”
I might not be too savvy when it came to politics and manipulation, but even I could read between the lines. Robin was powerful and attractive, and he wanted to own her. From what Sanka and the others had said, the syndicate heads were always trying to get her to join them. All while she dreamed of their destruction.
It would be amusing, if I wasn’t caught in the middle of this stupidity.
“I don’t know what you want from me,” I said evenly. “Robin and her court took me in and helped me out of an abusive situation. They pitied me, so they let me stay with them long enough to get back on my feet. That’s it. I’m not friends with any of them. I’m not some treasured confidant who can tell you all their secrets. I’m just a stray they tolerated for a moment.” I waved a hand to illustrate what I thought was an empty garden. “You don’t see them rushing here to save me, do you?”
He was silent for so long that I thought maybe he was going to let it be. Stupid of me, really.
“Ruya,” that cool voice said, sliding over my skin and trying to tunnel into my bones, driven by a sly, tantalizing magic that I could somehow sense in the air. “You’re a loyal woman. True to your friends. That is a noble thing. But it’s time to stop the lies I can sense on your tongue. I’m a fae, darling. Discerning lies and truth is like breathing. It’s time for you to tell me the truth.” That word was laced with compulsion and magic. A truth spell, I realized with dawning horror. He was enchanting my mind directly, rather than relying on drugs or magic-laced food. “Why does Robin remain unaligned? What motivates her and that disgusting court of hers?”
I swallowed hard, clenching my teeth against the magic urging me to speak. It seemed I did know at least one thing about Robin that was dangerous. I knew she hated the syndicate and that she was up to something that would undermine them. I couldn’t tell him much. But I could tell him enough to make Robin go from desired prize to enemy of the entire syndicate. I ground my teeth together, rage rising up inside me with a raw whimper of frustration. How dare this asshole try to manipulate my mind so blatantly. How dare he try to bend my will to his own. Arrogant fucking fae. I let out a little high-pitched shriek as I shoved his magic off me, resisting his compulsion. “Ask her yourself!”
I knew I had messed up. Now he probably suspected that I had some sort of strong, valuable magic that let me resist his power, and he’d be digging for that next. But still, even I hadn’t known I could resist fae magic. And it wasn’t like I was about to sit here and let him mess with my brain.
I expected anger, maybe a blow as he lashed out at me. But I was with a fae lord. His anger didn’t run to hot outbursts. It ran icy cold. I flinched when he cupped my cheek. A bit of my magic seeped out into him, healing him of daily wear and tear before I could pull it back. His voice was soft. But no less scary for it. “What are you? Something more than a mewling little witch?”
I turned my head to get away from his touch. The sensation of his skin against mine, even so briefly, made my skin crawl. “I’m just a witch,” I said firmly. “One who is fed up with being imprisoned and manipulated.”
He chuckled softly. “Oh, you poor, delusional little darling. How was your time in your previous court any different?”
I clenched my fingers in the folds of my stupid, flouncy dress as more flower petals rained down around us. It must be a pretty sight, my unwashed state aside, a fae lord from a species known to be universally lovely to look at, sitting with a woman in a ballgown under the flowering trees. Maybe we looked like lovers. Like something from an old-world romance novel. Sometimes being blind is a blessing, I thought bitterly. I was less likely to be deceived by pretty things.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I snapped at the fae.
He sighed, as if he was just so sad for me. “My dear. You say you were taken in by Robin and her companions, that they sheltered you out of compassion. But I sense both the truth and a lie in those words. I have a feeling,” he said slowly. “That you are more than you seem. And that you weren’t entirely willing when you were taken from wherever you lived before coming to reside with them.”
I took in a slow, measured breath, battling my ever-increasing magic, and my panic. He was right, after all. Sanka, Martina, and Dusek had kidnapped me, stolen me from my family. Much like this man had stolen me from Robin.
“They are my friends,” I said, trying to sound firm and sure. “Maybe I don’t know all their secrets, but they saved me from…a bad situation.”
“Mmm,” he hummed. “I see. And what did they get out it? Can you tell me truthfully that they never used you for whatever talents you so stubbornly hide from me?”
That hit a sore spot. They had used me, and made no effort to hide that fact from the beginning. Sanka stole me so I could heal Robin from the effects of the wasting curse that plagued the princess. Then I had saved Yukio’s life when he was injured on some mission of theirs.
Yes, we had all become friendly. I had come to trust them. To care for them. But I would be a liar if I said I never wondered if their feelings toward me were less than pure. I was a tool. I always had been. But at least Robin and the others had been up front about what they needed, and they had made some effort to treat me as a person. They had always told me the truth about their motives. Hadn’t they?
“Darling little witch,” the fae said, his fingers lightly stroking over my hair. “Life is cruel sometimes, I know. It is often the ones we most trust who betray us the deepest.”
I batted his hand away. “More fae manipulation.”
His voice was sad, almost apologetic. “I remember what it was to be so young and naive. So vulnerable to the hurts of the world. I certainly won’t win any favor from you for it, but I will gift you with a truth you need to hear. Robin planned to sell you. She put out an invitation to a private auction a couple weeks ago. For a ‘rare and valuable healing artifact.’” He leaned in close to whisper in my ear, as if afraid someone else might overhear. “And I felt what you did to me just now, with just a touch. You’re a healer.”
My heart stopped beating. No. It was just more fae lies. Robin wouldn’t sell me. She said I could stay with them. She said I was free to leave, if I wanted to. That she would even help me find my way in the world if that was what I chose to do. She said….
But I had been lied to before, hadn’t I? By my own family. By the people who were supposed to love and protect me. How could I say with any certainty that Robin and the others wouldn’t betray me? After all, I had only known them a short time. And I was a valuable commodity. A tool who had served her purpose. Robin was well now. They didn’t need me anymore.
I shook myself. “No,” I said quietly. “You’re wrong. And it doesn’t matter, because I still can’t tell you anything of use. I don’t know anything about the inner workings of Robin’s court. I’m sorry.”
He sighed. “You’re lying again. But it’s no matter. I am nothing if not patient, Ruya. Since you’ve so nicely chatted with me this morning, I will be generous. I’ll see that your accommodations are improved. I can’t have you starving on me out of stubbornness. How would I ever live with myself?”
I held back a derisive snort. Somehow, I thought he’d be absolutely guilt free if I accidentally died on his watch. But I didn’t say it out loud.
“Perhaps if you were to decide to tell me about these healing powers of yours,” he said casually, “I might be willing to allow you even more freedom. I can be kind to my people. To my court. Perhaps you might consider that in your free time. There are benefits to belonging to a syndicate group, rather than skulking in the shadows with unaligned riff-raff.”
Riff-raff who he had just admitted he was trying to get to join his court. Funny how quickly he changed his tune about Robin.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said, trying out a fake smile of my own.
When I was led back inside, I was given a room suffused with light from the windows overhead. A tray of food and sweets waited for me. But the door was still locked.
I felt my way around the room, then sank down onto the edge of a soft bed. My head was a mess, and my magic was about to overwhelm me. I needed to figure out how to get out of here on my own. Because regardless of whether I believed what the fae king had said or not, one thing was very clear. “They’re not coming for me,” I whispered, a silly tear escaping to trace its way down my cheek.
I couldn’t depend on anyone.