long I was in that dark, empty room alone. But if the fae king thought solitary confinement in the dark was going to frighten me, he was mistaken. Thanks to my blindness and the tender, loving care of my so-called mother, I’d spent most of my life alone in the dark.
I spent my time meditating, and when I was done with that, I worked on the exercises Sanka had been showing me to help me control my healing powers. Then I moved through a few of the physical exercises Martina had showed me one day when I was pestering her during her workout. Of course my mind wandered to Sanka and the others, desperately hoping they were okay. Would they try to get me back? Or was I really only an expendable tool in the end, nice to have around but not worth the effort of retrieving?
And all of that thinking led me to replay the attacks. To recall The Mother’s words as she tried to drag me back to the order to do her bidding. She wasn’t really my mother. She had made that much clear. I shuddered as I recalled how I had sung Yukio’s death song. How I had whispered the names of our attackers as they died. How, apparently, I had done it again last night when the fae syndicate leader was trying to get information from me. “We never could figure out what your parents were,” my fake mother had told me the last time I saw her.
The Order had kept me because I was just witch enough to make it acceptable to them. And because I had unheard of healing powers that they could use to coerce powerful people into doing what they wanted them to do. But in all my time with The Order, I had never manifested this heartrending urge that I felt now when I sensed death.
“What am I?” I whispered to the dark.
But the darkness had no answers to give.
Would The Order of the Triple Moon come for me again, now that I was once more outside Robin’s wards? Would the fae bother to stop the cult leader who had called herself my mother? Was staying here any better than being returned to my isolated tower in the pocket world where I had lived most of my life as a willing slave?
I sank into meditation again to escape my thoughts. Maybe solitude was more dangerous than I thought.
“Who are you?”
My eyes flew open, and my measured breathing stuttered at the soft meow that came from beyond the door behind me.
I pressed my lips together as I considered my reply. I was in the fae court. I might not know much, but I had already learned that they weren’t to be trusted, that they wouldn’t hesitate to use trickery to get what they wanted. Was the cat outside my door really just a cat?
“Ruya,” I whispered.
There was a long stretch of silence, and I thought maybe my furry visitor had simply moved on. Then she spoke again. “You can understand me. How does a person understand a royal feline?”
I smiled to myself in the dark. Of course a cat would think she was royalty. I had never met a feline in person, but from what I’d gathered from books and movies, it was a very catlike response.
“I’m a witch, your majesty,” I whispered to her. “Are you a cat or a fae?”
The tone of her little mews seemed offended, however that was possible. “Me? One of those pointy-eared people? Their smell makes my nose itch, but they make good servants. They feed me the best fish and I get to sleep on a soft bed and catch all the mice I want, just like royalty should.”
I was beginning to believe she really was just a cat.
“That sounds lovely,” I said softly. “I wish I had a soft bed and some food that wasn’t tainted with fae magic or drugs.”
The cat scratched at the door. “Are you trapped in there? Do your strange people fingers not work? Turn the knob thing.”
I huffed a laugh. “I’m afraid I’m locked in. And there’s magic there, I can feel it.”
I bit my lip, considering whether this was really the best idea. But I didn’t know what other options I had. “Do they let you go outside?” I whispered through the door. “Do you ever leave this building, whatever it is?”
“Silly witch. The magic users don’t let me do anything. I’m in charge here.” She made a little sneezing-huff sound that was just adorable. “But yes, I sometimes leave the conservatory to visit the gardens outside. They have the plumpest chipmunks….”
I smothered a laugh. The poor chipmunks. “I was taken from my home against my will,” I said urgently. I was suddenly afraid we’d be interrupted. And the last thing I wanted was for the fae to know anything about my abilities, even this one. “Do you think you could get a message to my family? Let them know where I am?”
The cat’s voice was lazy. “I suppose I could. But I’m not leaving the island. It’s dirty and loud out there in the city. Belle Isle is much nicer. And the mice aren’t nearly as fat and tender on the mainland.”
I bit my lip as I tried to make sense of her response. “We’re on an island?” But I didn’t have time to get sidetracked. Someone could come along at any moment and catch me talking to the cat. “Never mind that,” I said. “I have a crow friend. Maybe if you could get word to the birds? Can you speak with them?”
The cat did that sneeze-huff thing again. I think it was meant to be scoffing. “I don’t speak bird chatter, aside from understanding a bit of the snide insults they cast down on my perfect pelt.”
We were both silent for a moment as I tried to figure out a way to get a message to the others to let them know where I was and what was going on. Although, for all I knew, they were already well aware of my situation and just hadn’t bothered to retrieve me.
The cat meowed again, but this time it was just a meow to my ears. A nonsense sound that ended in an inquiring trill. I tensed when a voice replied from outside my door. “Away with you, Lily,” a woman’s lilting voice urged. “This lot isn’t for you. It’s been prepared especially for our guest.”
I heard the click of the lock being turned, then the woman spoke again. “Now, miss,” she said sweetly. “I have to warn you, even though I’m opening this door, you’ll just bounce off the wards and get hurt if you try to come running out. Understand?”
I sighed. The thought had occurred to me. But it wasn’t as if I could see to find my way out of the building, and I could feel the hum of strong magic. I knew she wasn’t lying about the wards. “I understand,” I said, my voice a bit more sullen than I wanted.
The door opened, letting in a spill of fuzzy light to combat the utter darkness of my little room. “There now, I knew you were a reasonable woman. Here’s a tray of food from the kitchens.”
I fumbled to take the large wooden tray she shoved into my hands. “And I’ll just set the jug of water here on by the door for you.” She hummed merrily. “I’ve brought you a sleeping mat, blanket, and pillow too, love. And I assume you found the facilities?”
I nodded. I had to wonder how often they kept prisoners in this place, since this room didn’t seem like it would be of much use for anything else.
“Odell is a fair man,” the woman said softly, pitching her voice low, just for me. “I know his methods seem high-handed sometimes, but he really only wants what’s best for our people. I think you’ll find he can be quite generous if you cooperate with what he asks of you.” She sighed. “You might even earn yourself more than a bedroll and some food. I bet he’d let you out of here in the blink of an eye if you would just unbend.”
I didn’t respond.
“Oh, love. I understand why you’re angry. Really, I do. But no one here wants to hurt you. Just think on it. All Odell wants is some information about the people who were holding you captive before. If you have anything to share, anything at all, just let me know and I’ll make sure it gets to him.” She patted my shoulder, thankfully in a spot that was covered by my stupid, flouncy dress. “I’m here for you.”
I didn’t say anything, and she retreated, locking the door behind her, leaving me in the dark again with my drug-laced food and my weak excuse for a bed.
My stomach growled, but I ignored it. I wasn’t going to tell Odell anything. And I certainly wasn’t going to eat anything they gave me. There was tap water, if the sink was functional. And honestly, I’d drink out of the toilet before I gave in to the stupid man’s demands at this point.
I pressed a hand to my stomach and tried my best to ignore the tantalizing scents on the tray beside me. Hunger wasn’t new to me either. The Mother had kept me on a strict diet when I lived with The Order. She said it was to protect the purity of my healing magic. But I was pretty sure it was just one more way to control me and undermine my will.
The fae could isolate me, keep me in the dark, and starve me all they wanted. I wouldn’t give them any information about Robin. I wouldn’t willingly divulge anything about my powers. I was never going to become someone’s tool again. Even if it killed me.