Journal of Cortez Modrables

May 4, 1877

I arrived at Fort Lapwai today with a designated group from White Bird’s Lamtama band. I am to listen carefully, but not speak at the council unless White Bird asks me for an interpretation. There will be others making interpretations, but because I’m a shaman and a white man, I might make different interpretations that only White Bird would know about. The council was requested by the non-treaty chiefs to make their position known to General Howard of the U.S. Army. He may still try to force the non-treaty bands to move to Lapwai Reservation.

White Bird told us to wear our finest buckskin shirts and leggings, comb our hair in the tradition of the Dreamers, and braid in colored ribbons as we please. All warriors were told to paint their faces with red ocher. White Bird would wear his best headdress. As White Bird said, we are not poor Indians looking for gifts. We are rich Ni-mi-pu who are not afraid of the one-armed general and his soldiers.

Because I’m a tiwet, I must wear those things that give me spirit power. I have chosen to wear the tanned cape made for me from the hide of El Oso and the string of grizzly claws that Culculshensah gave me around my neck. The spirit strength of my wyakin might be needed.

When the council began, Toohoolhoolzote spoke as planned, with the approval of the other chiefs. He talked with force and eloquence about the stewardship of the land and how the Ni-mi-pu were placed on specific lands by Nami Piep.

General Howard and Agent Monteith appeared bored and uninterested in what the chief was saying.

The council was to have started yesterday, but White Bird wasn’t in a hurry to get to Lapwai.

The chiefs and General Howard agreed not to meet Saturday and Sunday.

Journal of Cortez Modrables

May 5, 1877

There was no council meeting held with Monteith and Howard today by agreement. I stayed in the camp area of the Ni-mi-pu in case I was needed. There was much tension in the air between the reservation Ni-mi-pu and the non-treaty bands. I didn’t have a chance to see Rachel. Tomorrow, after her church service, I will try to be with her.

There was no council meeting the next day, because it was Sunday. Cortez put on his best soyapo clothes and went to the home where Rachel lived when she was teaching at the agency school. When Cortez knocked on the door, Rachel opened it and met him with a big smile. She told him, “I’ve been very concerned about the rumors that I’ve heard about strife at the council meetings, but today, at church, there were many people of the non-treaty bands among the Christians.”

Cortez kissed her cheek and tried to make a face that would make Rachel laugh, but his effort was only mildly successful. So, he took her hand and said, “Let’s walk and talk of the future.”

Rachel quickly dropped Cortez’s hand and scurried back into the house to tell the Christian family with whom she lived where she was going and then grabbed a head scarf. When she returned, Rachel took Cortez’s arm, as a proper young lady. Cortez smiled at her action, thinking that most Indian women wouldn’t do this, for they were just as sure-footed as men. Still he liked the feel of her hand on his arm and the nearness of her body.

“Let’s stroll up on the hills to the west, that is, if your store-bought shoes can take the rough ground,” Cortez proposed with a smirk.

Rachel caught the tease and responded, “Oh my gallant knight in moccasins, should I stumble over a rock or cannot step across a muddy pool, you would lift me into your arms and carry me to smooth ground.”

The young man was delighted at the image of holding Rachel in his arms and the banter with Rachel—whom he dearly loved. They climbed the hill with more teasing remarks about different white and Indian ways. After they went over the crest of the first hill, where they could not be seen from Lapwai, Cortez encircled Rachel’s waist with his arm and drew her close. The first look in her liquid dark eyes was of surprise, but it soon turned to warmth. This beautiful, wonderful girl gave in to her natural feelings and folded into the embrace, looking first into the young man’s eyes and then at his lips. Cortez slipped his hand up her back to her neck so that he could guide her full, moist lips up to his. They had never kissed like that before. The breath of both quickened with excitement as Cortez pulled her full body closer so that he felt her breasts against his chest. Then he lifted Rachel onto her toes. As her thighs pressed against his, he was fully aroused. “Oh how I want you Rachel!” Cortez whispered into her neck as Rachel pulled away from their kiss. “I want you as a man wants a woman. I want you as my wife.”

Rachel pushed away and turned so that Cortez couldn’t see her face. He knew that he had frightened and embarrassed this proper Christian girl. The moment had changed. A gust of wind seemed to tell them this as it blew the scarf off Rachel’s shoulders before she could catch it.

Cortez chased the scarf over the crest to where it stopped by a cedar bush. As he picked twigs from the delicate weave, he instinctively held it to his cheek and caught the sweet smell of Rachel’s hair, making the young man want to hold the young woman again.

Back at Rachel’s side, Cortez slipped the scarf over her shoulders. Her hands covered his where they gripped the scarf, but they also held him away from another embrace.

“Rachel, I love you with all my heart. I will never hurt you,” Cortez earnestly told her, trying to recapture the moment of intense passion.

“Cortez, I know that you would never hurt me. I love you too, but our lives are not as simple as just loving each other, marrying, and having children.”

Cortez could see tears on Rachel’s cheeks and he wanted so much to kiss them away.

“Up here on this hill, you and I can hold each other with great love and desire, but Lapwai is just over the hill, and there are many problems with our being together there.” Rachel stepped away as if to emphasize her words. “My body hungers for yours as much as yours for mine. We could find a place by those pine trees where the needles would be like a straw tick and take each other’s bodies completely. We could be gloriously happy for the afternoon, but then what?” Rachel’s dark eyes grew limpid with emotion as she told Cortez this.

He shrugged, not having an answer, and tears welled up in his eyes. He too felt the painful separation of their bodies.

Rachel watched his reactions before saying, “As soon as we turn back toward Lapwai, our problems will return, will they not? Cortez, you said that you wanted to talk about our future when you came to see me. Do you really have answers about our future, or are you just going to tease and behave like a playful boy again?”

Cortez now felt challenged, and the wonderful warmth of moments ago was lost. He could think of nothing to say that would surprise Rachel and make her happy. He had to admit that she was right. He was just being a boy who simply wanted to be with a beautiful girl. The differences that had separated the two for the past five years were still plaguing them. “Rachel, my future can only be with you. Please believe me. The problems here on the Lapwai Reservation can be resolved with a little understanding. The non-treaty chiefs are in council with the government men. Just a few reasonable changes in the lines on the map would correct the mistakes made in 1863. Then White Bird’s Lamtamas could stay in their homes in the Salmon River Valley and I could build a house for us there as nice as you would have here in Lapwai. You could teach all the children in the Salmon River Valley, from both red- and white-skinned families, and I could be a healer for them all. I have been doing just that since before Culculshensah and Willow Woman died. The white miners pay me well in gold for their treatment. You wouldn’t need to beg for food as a poor shaman’s woman. Welweyas would stay with us and help with the work.”

Rachel responded, shaking her head, “Cortez, do you think that the U.S. government is going to change its maps for a few Nez Perce people whom they call names such as non-treaty bands, outlaws, bad Indians, Dreamers?”

“I don’t know the minds of the government men, but the minds of the chiefs are completely reasonable. They only want to be left alone. They even treat the upsuch soyapos with tolerance. The greedy ones have stolen, cheated, and killed innocent Ni-mi-pu, and have abused our women. Our people have not taken revenge.” Cortez then challenged Rachel, with a hint of anger in his voice, “Who are the outlaws? Is their skin red or white?”

“Here we are again, Cortez, arguing. How can we talk of a future together when we argue each time we meet?” Rachel paused for an answer, but got none, so she continued, “Cortez, is this what our future will be like? We’ll be blissful when we’re in each other’s arms but argue the rest of the time?”

“Rachel, we are both strong-minded, intelligent people. It is good that we don’t always agree, but we must always listen. We will someday have children to teach.”

Tears again rolled down Rachel’s soft cheeks, and Cortez could see that they were tears of hurt, frustration, and anger. “Cortez, you talk of teaching our children. What will you teach them? Will you teach the children to be Dreamers while I teach them to be Christians? Will you read your Jewish books to them while I read books about Jesus? Who will teach the children which is right?”

“Our children will be very intelligent, like we are. They will be people of the future. Their skin and eyes will reflect their mixed blood. Our children will learn many things from us. We will be good parents. They will know we love them as we love each other. And they will learn what is good and what is bad for all people,” Cortez argued.

Rachel turned and shook her head so hard that tears flew from her cheeks as she responded, “Cortez, you are a very good man, you are a very intelligent man, but you were born a Jew, yet now you have accepted the beliefs of a Dreamer. Unless you accept Jesus Christ as your savior, you can’t teach what is right—and your soul, your spirit will go to Hell.”

It seemed as if God wished to emphasize Rachel’s words, when thunder rumbled in the darkening sky. It was springtime in the mountains, and rain storms were normal. But this day’s storm seemed to confirm an unhappy ending to a long-awaited day with the girl that Cortez loved so deeply that their arguments hurt like lance points in his chest.

Their walk back down the hill to Lapwai was shrouded in silence. There was no banter. Large raindrops pelted them as they approached Rachel’s lodging. The drops hid her tears as she took Cortez’s hands and simply whispered goodbye before ducking into the house. Cortez was left standing by the door, his heart in pain, not knowing whether this parting signaled that they might not even have a future together.

Journal of Cortez Modrables

May 6, 1877

It is Sunday evening and we are camped here at Lapwai Reservation for this important council meeting. At both Joseph’s and General Howard’s request, there were no council meetings yesterday or today.

Yesterday, there seemed to be much fear and consternation among both the reservation and the non-treaty Ni-mi-pu over the results of Friday’s council meeting. The speeches made by the non-treaty Nez Perce chiefs, mainly Joseph and Toohoolhoolzote, were told and retold. The Reservation Nez Perce seemed to be fearful that the “wild bands” might attack Fort Lapwai and kill them. The army at this post has far fewer soldiers than the warriors who might fight under the leadership of non-treaty chiefs. Several other small bands of Nez Perce living outside the boundaries have come into Fort Lapwai. They might join in on a war against the government. The non-treaty warriors brought no weapons to the council meetings, but are well-armed with rifles, pistols, and bows and arrows at the campsites. Some even carry lances and war clubs. They are well-trained and ride war ponies. The Reservation Nez Perce are mostly dressed like white farmers and have only shotguns and work horses. There is much tension, but the chiefs continue to caution the young warriors against being bold and showing aggression. Should war break out here at Fort Lapwai, what would I do? My loyalties as a tiwet are with White Bird’s band. They have given me a home and a family, yet I know that fighting against the U.S. Government’s orders and its army would be bad and very foolish.

Rachel and I were together this afternoon. It started out wonderfully but ended with arguments and tears. Rachel is a Reservation Nez Perce and a Christian—she would be forever lost to me if I were to paint my face and ride with the warriors. The non-treaty bands would easily defeat the army and any Reservation Nez Perce warriors who chose to fightwhat then? A massacre like the one at the Little Big Horn River in Montana Territory would only bring more soldiers and more hate. Should there be war; the Ni-mi-pu would be seen as savages by the world. When caught, chiefs and warriors would be hanged—even a shaman with eyes like the sky would be hanged or jailed. I worry, too, about Rachel’s safety. Would the young warriors see Rachel as a sister or as a soyapo woman with brown skin who could be abused?