Set on New Year’s Day, between Chapters 11 and 12 of Playing the Game, “Relief Map” finds Jay dreaming of the year ahead.
Facedown in the sagging center of his mattress, Jay hooked his toes around the foot of the bed and stretched.
The too-small twin bed would’ve been more comfortable with warm bodies to either side. Rejecting reality for the thirteenth night in a row, he added the weight of Henry’s arm slung across his back and Alice clinging to his side as if she’d ridden his thigh to satisfaction and sleep. A picture-perfect start to the new year, and a complete fantasy. One for his wish book.
The slim journal hadn’t come along on his trip home. For almost two weeks, he’d kept his notes about wishes and homework password-protected on his phone, where curious nieces and nephews and nosy siblings wouldn’t find them. Natalie, his favorite sister, had bailed on this circus the day after Christmas. He’d hung around, entertaining the rest of his siblings’ kids so they didn’t overwhelm their grandparents and cracking jokes about sprucing up the tree farm just to hear Dad go off on the superiority of firs.
He scrubbed his face in the pillow, dislodging the sandman and clogging his nose with a floral bouquet of winter dryer stink. Henry slept on unscented sheets year-round, leaving linen and silk free to capture their morning muskiness. A unique delight, he always said. Sheets on the farm smelled best in the summer, thick with real evergreen bite from hanging on the line all day.
But the mingled fragrances of Henry and Alice knocked any would-be rival in the dirt. Alice carried a sharp lemon freshness sweetened with honey. Henry wore darker notes, a richer citrus rubbed into a leather base. Smuggling Henry’s sheets into his parents’ place for the holidays the way he’d taken them to the hotel in November would’ve buried him in questions he couldn’t answer, but fuck if he didn’t miss their comfort.
Emptying his lungs, Jay peeked at the bedside table. Six forty-seven in the morning. Too early to be awake on New Year’s Day. And he’d grown too old for the orange basketball alarm clock he’d gotten on his ninth birthday. Or tenth. Eleventh? Tenth. Almost twenty years gone.
Jesus. He rolled onto his back. The bedroom hadn’t changed since he’d moved out for college. Mom and Dad and his siblings still saw him as the baby of the family. To them, he’d forever be ten years old, shoveling breakfast in his mouth as fast as he could work his jaw, trying to get out the door and on his bike.
His brother and sisters, aside from rebel Nat, they’d all had spouses to kiss at midnight. Quick mouth-pecks, celebrating as if the arrival of another year together didn’t mean anything. He’d retreated to the porch and chased the slow-falling snowflakes with his tongue. If he’d been with Henry, with Alice, last night, the three of them would’ve made the holiday one of Henry’s unique delights.
“I have a new family.” He whispered into his cupped palms, and a skin-prickling chill stung him despite the layers of quilts. As his stomach churned, the beers he’d downed last night pleaded innocence. He stared at the thin crack beneath the door, but no one moved in the hall. The whistling wind outside swirled stray snowflakes against his window in the bluish predawn glow. “In three days, I’ll be home.”
Henry’s apartment. Where Henry would embrace him with firm hands and patient green eyes as deep as old-growth timber stands. The humming baritone welcome. A kiss of belonging, hard and claiming, while Henry twined fingers in his hair and tugged.
His cock pushed against the weight of quilts, eager for those hands and that mouth. For Henry. For home.
Beside the plump orange clock, his phone lay silent. If anyone in the world would be awake and not hungover at seven in the morning on New Year’s Day, Henry would.
Jay snatched his phone from the nightstand. Muscle memory steered him to Henry in the dimness. The low ringing chirped in his ear. Twice. Three times.
“Jay? Is everything all right?” Henry rumbled in low, sleep-warmed tones.
Eyes closed, Jay basked in Henry’s welcoming voice. Never what did you do wrong now or what do you need this time, Jay. Just loving warmth he wanted to wrap up in. Perfect, except for not having Henry’s solid body next to him. Or the scent of Henry’s arousal filling his lungs. Or the taste of his cock in the morning, thick and rich and a way better wake-up than the sour stink of coffee everyone else raved about.
“Jay?”
Fuck, the way Henry said his name. He could climb inside and never leave. “Happy New Year, Henry.”
A pleased hum sang down the circuits. “Much happier with the addition of your voice, my boy.”
“I miss you and Alice.” For more than sex, though his cock nudged the covers with unshakeable demands. Perk of listening to Henry.
“You are missed as well. Very much indeed.”
Maybe begging would get Henry to read the weather forecast or the back of a cereal box. Whatever he had handy. This separation at the holidays wouldn’t be okay next year. The too-small bedroom and the too-tight baby brother role didn’t fit anymore. He was Henry’s Jay now. Alice’s Jay, if she’d have him.
Fabric rustled on Henry’s end of the call. “The delightful stories of your days have given way to silence, and when I reach to tuck you close, my hand closes on emptiness.”
The back of Jay’s neck ached for Henry’s fierce hold. “Did Alice come see you?” The trembles had to be getting to her, too. Dominance withdrawal. “Before you left?”
The silence stretched into a low sigh. “Our darling girl isn’t yet so brave.”
Damn. A visit from Alice would’ve made Henry’s Christmas.
“I’m sorry, Henry.” One of these days, Jay would march across the hall and drag her to their bed. She’d fuss at him, but Henry would stare her down with his infinite patience, melt her confusion with hard kisses, and cup her face in his steady palms. This is where you belong, he’d say. No arguments.
“Your breathing has changed.” Real-Henry took a lighter approach. More conversational than the growling, grasping dominant he sometimes let loose. “Are you lying abed this morning, as I am? Getting an early start on your homework today?”
“Yes, Henry.” Stroking his cock, he held back the whines and moans with his tongue between his teeth. Same as he did in the shower every morning of his vacation, his forehead pressed to the tile, the water mapping his back a stand-in for Henry’s vigorous massage.
“Did you call me today because you needed me, Jay?” Henry’s breathing had changed, too. Deeper. Measured and controlled.
“Yes.” He gasped the word in a shallow whisper. He needed Henry more than he needed to be here.
“Good boy.”
Fuck. Henry’s tight hold on his shoulders while Alice scored his chest and abs with her nails. She outlined his muscles with the sharp demand of a woman who meant to bite deep and swallow.
His hips bucked, and the bed frame creaked. Too fucking wound up. If he dragged this out, he’d wake someone down the hall before he finished. “Henry?”
“Do you know how very much I adore listening to you? Your harsh breaths and throaty pleas tell me so much.”
Teeth jammed together, he whined for his lover and kicked the damn covers aside. Twenty degrees outside, but a wildfire blazed in his bed.
“They tell me when my Jay is begging without words to come for me.”
Thank fuck Henry understood him so well, because opening his mouth would spill I-love-yous and please-God-yes-nows at air horn volume. With his eyes closed, the wet slide of his fist around his cock sounded no different from being in Henry’s hands.
“You will come for me, won’t you, Jay? Quickly and quietly, while the rest of the house sleeps, you’ll be mine.”
Always yours. His cock jerked. Heat splashed his stomach. “More.” The whine slipped out as he stopped his hand. Over too soon, and no Henry here to hold him tight, no Alice to bury his face in.
“Jay, my exquisitely obedient delight.” A rough edge deepened Henry’s voice. His breath shook on the inhale. “Taste yourself for me.”
An extra treat. Jay wriggled eager fingers through the slippery mess on the way to his mouth. Not every homework assignment let him indulge. But this, this was super-special, because Henry wanted to hear him. Fuck.
“All for you, Henry.” Sucking hard, he gulped down the salty tang on his tongue. The low groans he poured straight into the phone while he worked his tongue around his fingers for every drop. As thorough as Henry would be. “All of me. I’m yours. Please make me yours again.”
With a growl, Henry sent vibrations through his bones. “I’ll taste you myself in three days.”
Shudders pushed him into the mattress, soft and sinking. Henry would hold him firm and give him all the joy he could handle. Everything he needed. Fuck, he’d be lucky to get two steps inside the door and wrestle his pants off before he came. “I love you, Henry.”
“As I love you, my excellent boy.” Henry hummed a light tune, flowing and smooth. “Happy New Year, Jay.”
Only three more days. What a relief.